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"I would definitely like a woman to make a move. " If you're not attracted to her how would you handle it? | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Never been messaged first but would love it, it's hard for single men on here and would find it reassuring. | |||
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"I know I know, I'm not a man. I don't care, well actually I do, I wouldn't mind being a man. I'd totally be gay. But I occasionally message first! Curse of having filters. And I sometimes suggest meeting but then he needs to take control. I'm not doing all the work. " Be gone foul wench. It's a thread for men. The finest of penis wielders. P.S Filters are a blessing, not a curse! Do you mind messaging a man first or saying hey, let's get a hotel room (because I don't imagine you're the two hour coffee first sort)? | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I’d love it if the woman made the 1st move. Maybe this is because I love dominant women | |||
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"I would definitely like a woman to make a move. If you're not attracted to her how would you handle it?" I would still be thankful, an still be willing to socialise but be truthful an upfront. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" So I had one of my first replies today Chatting well Even exchanged numbers I would love woman to message first at least then I don’t feel like we are hounding them Sometimes when I have read profile and put effort into the messsge would love just a simple not for me, then I could put a note so not to re message etx I know they get lots of messages but it’s tough for some of us guys If anyone wants to point me in direction of improving profile I would love that | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I my dreams I get loads. I the real world I'm lucky if they will even talk to me. There most be something wrong with me. Or maybe something else | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Rarely on the receiving end of "first contact" but I guess that's because fab has soooo many guys to couples ratio it's hard for couples or ladies to keep their inbox manageable. I'd find ladies making the first move a great compliment and certainly love that. | |||
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"I got my first ‘first’ message off a young lady the other day. I was very impressed " And she's definitely a lady not a man? Well, this is brilliant! Yay. One success story. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I have had the odd one, but mainly me first. I would find it attractive for the woman to make the first move. | |||
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"In my experience when the woman messages first its a fake profile, to be fair it's also rare to get a reply... maybe it's me " We find the same as a couple very hard to find a genuine unicorn | |||
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"I got my first ‘first’ message off a young lady the other day. I was very impressed And she's definitely a lady not a man? Well, this is brilliant! Yay. One success story. " Yes she is a lady. Been chatting and sharing since she first messaged. Bit of a distance which is a shame. But happy to chat with confident women who know how to message first | |||
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"Yeah had a few back when I used to have a profile pic up it's certainly a welcome change don't understand why more lady's don't do their own searching " Because I think women are terrified of being rejected. It might also be this societal view that women are the one to be chased, men are the ones to do the chasing (I hate the whole chase analogy but it's a lazy and quick way of getting meaning across). There's also the fact that there are far more men on here and some women delight in attention received and don't want someone to turn around and say nope, you're not for me thanks. | |||
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"Yes. My partner did. Others have too. Often just for chat rather than anything else but that's all good. " Ah your partner is a delight and delightfully forthright. Always admired that quality of theirs. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Yes they do and it's refreshing when it happens, I'm all for being approached. I'm happy being asked if would like to meet etc, but I prefer taking the lead in the bedroom. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? Never been messaged first but would love it, it's hard for single men on here and would find it reassuring." Reassuring in what way? That you're desirable or that she's genuinely interested in you? | |||
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"Because I think women are terrified of being rejected. … and don't want someone to turn around and say nope, you're not for me thanks." It rarely goes well when I say no thanks. Rejection can be taken as poorly by women as it is by men. | |||
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"Because I think women are terrified of being rejected. … and don't want someone to turn around and say nope, you're not for me thanks. It rarely goes well when I say no thanks. Rejection can be taken as poorly by women as it is by men." Ah yes, women can be truly rotten when they're... well I'm not going to say rejected because someone saying no thanks isn't quite a rejection but if they're told no... then yes. They can be awful. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? I’d love it if the woman made the 1st move. Maybe this is because I love dominant women " So there's an element of dominant about it for you? I guess I can kind of see that. It might be more confidence than a dominant thing. To say, 'yep, I think you're hot and I'm going to say hi anyway'. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? Never been messaged first but would love it, it's hard for single men on here and would find it reassuring. Reassuring in what way? That you're desirable or that she's genuinely interested in you? " I won't lie it would be a confidence boost but would be great to see that a woman is interested and what they are hoping to get from it. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? " In answer to your questions in order: Not very often Yes, I get excited whenever I receive a message first (especially from a woman) not so much fancy coming and watching porn while I suck you from men but the fact I have a message is exciting. Yes I would absolutely fine it attractive as I often feel like my message 1 gets lost in the ether And 2 is not appreciated no matter how well written it is as women get swamped. I would find it appealing to have the woman arrange the social/dalliance as I am terrible for thinking of things to do unless it is in my immediate vicinity because I forget things exist (but that's because my brain hates me and sucks with object permenance) Hope this helps your research | |||
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"Obvs! " It’s usually the one’s who do message first where you have more in common because they’ve either read your profile or observed your character rather than you just looking at their latest boob pics | |||
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"It’s refreshing to be messaged first sometimes but also I feel it’s a gentleman’s job to message first " Hmmm. See that's the sort of attitude I was interested in. I've messaged, met, dated some rather traditional men before with a similar attitude. That they should be the ones initiating, organising etc. I've found that they've liked my rather erm enthusiastic approach to messaging and organising but then in the back of my mind I worry that... it's not quite wanted. They would rather fall back in to a more traditional gentleman archetype. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Yeah, I would find it attractive. It would make me reply in the most mellow way, whether for accepting or refusing the attention I don’t mind women being proactive, however it’s so rare on here that I would be worried about catfish lol | |||
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"I've struck up a few chats and friendships with the receipt of a first message from a lady. Always a delight and surprise when someone says hello. If by taking the lead you are referring to some overtly masculine bollocks I think that's a bit victorian in attitude. " It's not my attitude. It's one that exists though. I'm not sure why it does but I do know some prefer men to be more proactive/take the lead. Women and men. | |||
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"I know I know, I'm not a man. I don't care, well actually I do, I wouldn't mind being a man. I'd totally be gay. But I occasionally message first! Curse of having filters. And I sometimes suggest meeting but then he needs to take control. I'm not doing all the work. Be gone foul wench. It's a thread for men. The finest of penis wielders. P.S Filters are a blessing, not a curse! Do you mind messaging a man first or saying hey, let's get a hotel room (because I don't imagine you're the two hour coffee first sort)?" I'm deeply offended that you think I'm just some wanton hussy that just wants the penis Meli. Deeply offended. | |||
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"I've had a few women message me first and I'm always hugely flattered. They have all been smart, articulate and knew exactly what they want - the type to take the initiative rather than wait for men to approach them. " Ah so there's a particular personality type who message first? That makes sense come to think of it. Hugely flattered is a definite positive to come from it. Men on the whole on Fab don't particularly receive compliments or attention unless they initiate something. It's quite a shame. I messaged someone yesterday off the back of a thread and they thought I was joking around. Just saying it to be nice. Nothing could be further from the truth but it did make me think that men aren't used to that approach. | |||
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"People send me messages to tell me I'm beautiful (physically) -Men and women. Which is nice I guess..the conversation can go from there, it's a pleasant starting point. . " ..It it superficial, (my features I got from my mum..I didn't earn them.) But it's a nice starting point as I said. | |||
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"I message first when I'm feeling strong. It's hard work and it nearly always ends up with me being ignored. I find men seem to be flattered at first but then they get distracted by a passing butterfly or something. *shrugs*" Sorry just realised this was a thread directed at men. I'll hush my dirty mouth | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I would personally see it as very progressive, I think a lot of guys would welcome it. The shy ones, those unsure of how to proceed, even your average Jo may get an offer from a lady he missed. Frankly in 2024 why does one need to have a penis in order to make the first move? I'm sure lesbians don't wait for a penis approach. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Of course. Don’t all men want women who want sex as much as them. I’ve kind of given up on women on here and find that lots of men are happy to message me their desires! | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Don’t threaten us with a good time. Of course we would love it. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? " Yes, sometimes. It’s rarely out of nowhere, but often from a forum post - that’s a good ice breaker. "Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? " It’s always nice to receive a message from someone where maybe things can develop. I’ve seen my fair share of rejection, so I find it a bit flattering too. "If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Confidence is attractive, so is intelligence. If she wants to take the lead and thinks old, patriarchal values can fuck right off, that’s a good thing. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Only happened a couple of times but geography was the problem, alas. It would amazing, of course! Especially as I don’t tend to approach women because a) they already have hundreds of messages a day, it must be overwhelming; b) I know being out-bi can be off-putting for some, & c) some of the absolute Gods these beauties have veris from puts a certain perspective on things, lol. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" No they don’t, yes I would, and I don’t mind who makes the first move-I think it’s courageous and immensely flattering of them if they do. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" We occasionally get messages from single ladies, and they're always appreciated. We don't message single ladies ourselves, I guess that they get too many messages already so don't want to add to that load. Cal | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Yes it happens from tkme to time. If i find it attractive or not depends on what message said and what the profile is like. I dont mind who initiates a meet , it is good that said woman is making it clear she is free and wants to spend that time with me, but i do prefer to take the lead during a meet. | |||
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"Once a month I get a message from a single female account. 2 messages in I discover they're actually a man in disguise " A man in disguised as... a LADY?! FFS, that's new | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? In answer to your questions in order: Not very often Yes, I get excited whenever I receive a message first (especially from a woman) not so much fancy coming and watching porn while I suck you from men but the fact I have a message is exciting. Yes I would absolutely fine it attractive as I often feel like my message 1 gets lost in the ether And 2 is not appreciated no matter how well written it is as women get swamped. I would find it appealing to have the woman arrange the social/dalliance as I am terrible for thinking of things to do unless it is in my immediate vicinity because I forget things exist (but that's because my brain hates me and sucks with object permenance) Hope this helps your research " Ah I've never seen someone use object permanence on the fora before! Love it. It's a thing, it's good you recognise it but yeah... also cra* (I'm trying to watch my language a bit recently). I think messages can get lost but also women can be incredibly lazy and almost expect attention? And far too sensitive to being told no. | |||
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"I message first when I'm feeling strong. It's hard work and it nearly always ends up with me being ignored. I find men seem to be flattered at first but then they get distracted by a passing butterfly or something. *shrugs* Sorry just realised this was a thread directed at men. I'll hush my dirty mouth " No, keep your dirty mouth open Scarlet. Always. Please and thank you. That aside, it's really interesting to read a point of view from a woman who is proactive. Ignored? So not an acknowledgement, no replies, nada. People get distracted easily. Joy of Fab isn't it? Investing time in to something when there are squirrels popping up can be hard. | |||
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"Yes. But I like older women so I’m also realistic Meli. " Come back Pickle and tell me if there's a demographic difference in the likelihood of being proactive. Thanks, luv you. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first?" Yes. Not often. But yes. "Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first?" The ones who have done so, I've liked, admired, and respected them all for doing it. Any attractiveness would be down to profile, engagement, and looks though - not receiving a message as an isolated event. I can't fancy someone just because they're brave, but I'll always admire it. The majority have been attractive to me though. Less so those who wink without a message, interestingly. Profiles have been mostly a turn-off with winkers. "If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" 2016-2020 FAB profile all "dalliances" were from going to clubs and parties on my own, or messaging women myself that became socials or "dalliances". I don't recall receiving initial messages from women on that profile. 2023 - Today FAB profile - One social, now one of my two regular "dalliances", from my message. Which is my quota of polyamory. There are, however, two lovely women from FAB who both messaged me first, whom I would be delighted to have poly "dalliances" with in the future should/once my existing arrangements no longer work. I hope my existing arrangements do continue to work. I like the people. But if they didn't, there are two women from FAB who have messaged me whom I'd be very happy to start something with, regardless of whether I or they were more proactive in arranging the meet. This is specifically answering about "those who've messaged me", not those whom I've messaged first. | |||
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"I'm not a man. But I like to waffle almost as much as you do my dear Melster, so I'm going to stick my nose in regardless of your intended audience! Messaging first was always my preferred method of engagement. I used to largely ignore the contents of my inbox. I've only ever met one man on here who messaged me first (he was already on my 'to do' list, I just hadn't got around to making contact). I've also been the one to suggest meeting first on numerous occasions...mainly because I've always known quite quickly whether I've wanted to play with someone's dangly bits or not, and I get bored of talking about the weather. I understand that I deviated from the norm on here, and some were taken aback by my directness, I think a handful were even slightly intimidated. I honestly don't understand the fear of rejection though. Nobody goes through life without being turned down for one thing or another. " Lily, you can waffle all you want. Run riot in my thread, post the word "meet" or even "play". Melster. You get bored talking about the weather? You did deviate from the norm but why is that a bad thing? I don't see why in this day and age it is the norm. It's really rather dreary. I like being proactive. Like organising, messaging first etc. Yet societal etiquette would deem that... not always a good thing. Codswallop really. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? I would personally see it as very progressive, I think a lot of guys would welcome it. The shy ones, those unsure of how to proceed, even your average Jo may get an offer from a lady he missed. Frankly in 2024 why does one need to have a penis in order to make the first move? I'm sure lesbians don't wait for a penis approach." No but lesbians are dire at approaching each other. Well and truly sh*te. Actually do you know who is worst? Bisexual/pan women. I don't know why that is, why women aren't good at being more direct with each other but they're really not. A delightful friend recently came back in to my life. Seeing her in Cheltenham soon. It took us far, far, too many years to actually say 'Hey I'd like to kiss you'. | |||
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"Yes. But I like older women so I’m also realistic Meli. Come back Pickle and tell me if there's a demographic difference in the likelihood of being proactive. Thanks, luv you. " Women around my age tend to be more confident shooting their shot I find. When my fiancé and her girlies be chatting about getting guys sometimes they move to them. I’m like ‘must be nice’. I find women 35 and under are more confident. They have less hang ups about relationship roles. If they want something, or someone, they’re going to get it. They’re not going to wait around and hope a guy picks up on signals and messages first. Too many games. If you didn’t reply and they want to say something? They’ll double message. They’re not going to wait around for you to come back. (In my experience obviously) | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" It has happened, I like it, and I hope it happens again in future. I'm always too full of doubt and indecision and assuming the person I want to message won't be interested, so if they message me first they've obviously seen or read something they like, which is a good start. Also women having that kind of confidence is hot. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" The answer is definitely yes, women take us for granted because of shear numbers, and they all end up with the same quality of men, usually with abs but no brain that do not care if the woman achieves an orgasm or not. But hey...then they can complain that all men are shit | |||
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"Most women on fab rarely message a man spontaneously that they find appealing / attractive. The reason is they have little incentive to do so. Their inbox is usually full of unsolicited messages / interest from hundreds of men. It's far easier taking a passive approach in sifting through the constant stream to find that rare message / profile that catches the eye and respond. The fear of rejection is real and many a woman on fab doesn't handle it well." Hai Chilly! It's good right? Think it's a skill of mine. Annnnnyway, yes I think that's true. Why would a woman when she can upload a photo of her big toe and have a hundred men telling her how beautiful she is and how much they'd worship her toe? I don't think they do. Increasingly, I really don't think they do. You're something of a classic man. Wait, how have I phrased that politely before? A traditional man. If a woman you found attractive, back in your ManSlut days, did message first, would she be more likely to stand out going forward? | |||
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"i have just messaged a man on here. See if he messages back? " Oh best of luck! I hope he does, x | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Has happened but rarely Love it to happen more often as makes my day. | |||
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"They do , but more often they wink , you wink back and then they either message or just wait for you to message. But some just message too & are very good at it " Ah the good old winking system. It's an easy way of seeing if someone is potentially open to being messaged. So let's say you've got past that first hurdle. Do you find women are proactive when it comes to organising something? Do you like when they are? | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? Yes they do and it's refreshing when it happens, I'm all for being approached. I'm happy being asked if would like to meet etc, but I prefer taking the lead in the bedroom. " Interesting... | |||
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"Yes. But I like older women so I’m also realistic Meli. Come back Pickle and tell me if there's a demographic difference in the likelihood of being proactive. Thanks, luv you. Women around my age tend to be more confident shooting their shot I find. When my fiancé and her girlies be chatting about getting guys sometimes they move to them. I’m like ‘must be nice’. I find women 35 and under are more confident. They have less hang ups about relationship roles. If they want something, or someone, they’re going to get it. They’re not going to wait around and hope a guy picks up on signals and messages first. Too many games. If you didn’t reply and they want to say something? They’ll double message. They’re not going to wait around for you to come back. (In my experience obviously) " 35 and under. Love that for me. That's really interesting! I always thought it to be the other way around - men oft quote one of the reasons they like older women being because of how direct they are. Happy to go for what they want. Games are tiresome aren't they? If I like someone I like to feel comfortable enough with myself to go for it. Yeah sure, I can get bi-panic but once I'm sure it's reciprocated I can be quite forward. Thank you Pickle for indulging my curiosity! | |||
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"I've said this on similar threads — aside from reciprocal messages between friends and forum-dwellers on here, I've only sent a handful of 'first' messages in the last 3 years. All of my dates/meets/socials have been on the back of women sending me the first message. With regards to soirées or dalliances I feel more comfortable in orchestrating them. With that said — I wish women were more proactive within the realms of Fåb." In what way? You've said you've only sent a handful of messages, I'm assuming your dalliances/dates/socials have been more than that. So, in what way do you wish women were more proactive on here? | |||
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"Yes. But I like older women so I’m also realistic Meli. Come back Pickle and tell me if there's a demographic difference in the likelihood of being proactive. Thanks, luv you. Women around my age tend to be more confident shooting their shot I find. When my fiancé and her girlies be chatting about getting guys sometimes they move to them. I’m like ‘must be nice’. I find women 35 and under are more confident. They have less hang ups about relationship roles. If they want something, or someone, they’re going to get it. They’re not going to wait around and hope a guy picks up on signals and messages first. Too many games. If you didn’t reply and they want to say something? They’ll double message. They’re not going to wait around for you to come back. (In my experience obviously) 35 and under. Love that for me. That's really interesting! I always thought it to be the other way around - men oft quote one of the reasons they like older women being because of how direct they are. Happy to go for what they want. Games are tiresome aren't they? If I like someone I like to feel comfortable enough with myself to go for it. Yeah sure, I can get bi-panic but once I'm sure it's reciprocated I can be quite forward. Thank you Pickle for indulging my curiosity! " Men sometimes say things to get things more easily | |||
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"Men sometimes say things to get things more easily " I'm not sure why you're disturbing my peace on a Monday night like this. I'm also not sure that I care for it. No more revelations please, thank you. | |||
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"It's like Christmas comes round once a year " Did it come early?? | |||
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"Yes, I get a good few messages where women and couples message first. However of course it’s not as common. Isn’t a turn on? It depends on the content of the message really. Some people just cannot have a conversation sadly, so it goes nowhere. More common than you think!" No, I truly believe it's common. I think some people just aren't particularly good conversationalists, certainly not online and it's bordering on painful trying to engage in one with them. When I asked if it was a turn on it was more meant in a, well, let's say there are two women. Both you find attractive. Woman A messages first, Woman B waits for your message. Would a woman messaging first have any effect on how you viewed her? Positive or negative. I think that's slightly clearer! Apologies. | |||
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"Yes, I get a good few messages where women and couples message first. However of course it’s not as common. Isn’t a turn on? It depends on the content of the message really. Some people just cannot have a conversation sadly, so it goes nowhere. More common than you think! No, I truly believe it's common. I think some people just aren't particularly good conversationalists, certainly not online and it's bordering on painful trying to engage in one with them. When I asked if it was a turn on it was more meant in a, well, let's say there are two women. Both you find attractive. Woman A messages first, Woman B waits for your message. Would a woman messaging first have any effect on how you viewed her? Positive or negative. I think that's slightly clearer! Apologies." Ahh I see… honestly, a lot of ladies here simply won’t message first… ever. It’s like an unwritten rule. A lot do, let’s make that clear though. But with how many absolutely mundane messages they get, it’s a minefield for them. I’ve had a lot of chats when out with single ladies and the horror stories are incredible. But to hit back on that first bit again: for me, if we can’t hit it off in a conversation online, we won’t hit it off in the bedroom. I like to be stimulated mentally too, which means we both need to push the conversation forward. If it’s only me… I can tell. But honestly, the way to my bed is laughing… nothing sexier than a girl who isn’t up herself but has a sense of humour. Beats sexy underwear any day for me! | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? The answer is definitely yes, women take us for granted because of shear numbers, and they all end up with the same quality of men, usually with abs but no brain that do not care if the woman achieves an orgasm or not. But hey...then they can complain that all men are shit" Utter nonsense. I don't want to be harsh so I haven't said this is bollocks. This false narrative of women being attracted to abs with no brains, that a man possessing/lacking those qualities doesn't care about a woman's orgasm. It's a tired belief that should have been laid to rest some time ago. I don't think women do take men for granted. Nor do I think they want a chance to say all men are shit - let's be honest, I think they'd rather do without things that lead to that viewpoint. I do think women can be lazy mares, too in their own head, too reliant on traditional patriarchal protocols when it comes to... let's call it the mating ritual. I like when people are confident enough to message me first, I like messaging men first. I hope that men don't find it odd or some other negative feeling. | |||
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"Back when we had single profiles I used to get a few. Thirsty bitches. Honestly… I found it perfectly reasonable. I like straightforward women. Wait, is that an oxymoron? Am I a foxymoron? " You're definitely the latter half of that word. Straightforward women are good aren't they? Thirsty though. It's those pesky shovel hands of yours. Hard life for you I'm sure. | |||
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"Men sometimes say things to get things more easily I'm not sure why you're disturbing my peace on a Monday night like this. I'm also not sure that I care for it. No more revelations please, thank you." I’ll shuppp now and be good x | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" Have had two meets on hear it was in public in coffee shop speak to number of women in hear in non sexual context But will not send messages prefer the women to take the lead at least I know they interested in me personally than profile | |||
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"Meli, I'd have sex with a tree if it made the first move..." Now , that's a fib ! | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? I would personally see it as very progressive, I think a lot of guys would welcome it. The shy ones, those unsure of how to proceed, even your average Jo may get an offer from a lady he missed. Frankly in 2024 why does one need to have a penis in order to make the first move? I'm sure lesbians don't wait for a penis approach. No but lesbians are dire at approaching each other. Well and truly sh*te. Actually do you know who is worst? Bisexual/pan women. I don't know why that is, why women aren't good at being more direct with each other but they're really not. A delightful friend recently came back in to my life. Seeing her in Cheltenham soon. It took us far, far, too many years to actually say 'Hey I'd like to kiss you'. " Lesbians are dire at approaching one another? Really? Do you have evidence to back up such a claim? I always imagined that lesbians know how women think and what they want, so always envied their intuition into the female mind. Meli you are disappointing me and ruining my wet lesbo fantasies at the same time Now my lesbian fantasy will consist of two nerdy girls desiring each other but not able to articulate what they want. How is one supposed to knock one out to that? | |||
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"I haven't sent a first contact message in more than 4 years so every conversation I've had since has been initiated by a woman sending an introductory message. That's how I met my fab bestie even before I stopped sending messages. She was proactive and got in touch. I can't say I find it an appealing trait just in itself because an ability to send a first message doesn't make a woman more attractive. Many of those conversations have been very short because some women are comfortable sending that initial message but aren't willing to make much effort beyond that and expect me to carry the load. I've had hundreds of conversations on here that have never mentioned sex or even the suggestion of it so it's not all about attraction." It must be nearly 5 years surely? It's been 4 years since I joined | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I've had a few message me. I'm very relaxed and easy about it all. I'd never message a woman first anyway. | |||
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"Actually posted this on another forum, but seeing as it's yourself... I recently received a message from a very attractive 23 year old female, saying: 'Hey, how's you? Nice pic'. Checked her profile, local, same interests, looked good... And I accepted her friend invite. Natch! Messaged her - respectfully of course - only twice over the next few weeks. No replies. Saw that she'd become a Silver Fab site supporter, then she also uploaded a photo of herself in 'action'. Then only last week, just really having a bit of a perv over my friends pics... She's gone. Just like that Hall & Oates song. Aff Fab completely. Caught briefly between two emotions - C'est la Vie... And what the fuck... " Charge it to the game sadly. | |||
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"Meli, I'd have sex with a tree if it made the first move..." Why are you like this, Joe? I want to wrap you in cotton wool and protect you from the world. So would you blush and send a reply saying 'er er er ermmm' if a woman was to message you first? | |||
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"Meli, I'd have sex with a tree if it made the first move... Why are you like this, Joe? I want to wrap you in cotton wool and protect you from the world. So would you blush and send a reply saying 'er er er ermmm' if a woman was to message you first? " Of course not! But I would spend a while thinking over the best replies that wouldn't get me blocked instantly | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I would just appreciate a response,,let alone message first ha ha x | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"? I would just appreciate a response,,let alone message first ha ha x " Must have forgotten I replied to you then lol | |||
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"I think I've received one, perhaps two messages. Usually I'm the one who messages first with very little in return. " I stopped messaging on here when it got to that point just block me rather than a one word reply | |||
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"Women message first? I didn't know that happens seriously though, the only ones that contact me first now seem to want some sort of payment..that's not happening. " Of course women do! Some of them anyway. I don't think it's that common. | |||
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"Do women ever message you first? Would you find it attractive if a woman was to message you first? If a woman was more proactive when it came to arranging a social/dalliance, would you find that appealing or do you prefer to be the one to "take the lead"?" I would be flattered if a woman was to take the lead. | |||
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"I sent a first first message to a man yesterday " Yay! You go Em Coco. | |||
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"Yay! You go Em Coco. " Two for you Em Coco. | |||
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"I'm very often the first messager. Plus I'll be proactive in arranging to meet if the chat goes well. I genuinely don't think anything of it - if I like someone, why would I faff around waiting for them to ask me? It's just wasted energy. Am I the odd one out? Mrs TMN x" NipNips. I don't think you're an odd one out, no. I was musing. If I like someone I'm excited. Want to do something about it. But then I know some are more traditional, that perhaps having an enthusiastic Meli can be a bit much, maybe they'd prefer to take the lead. And thus, the thread was born. | |||
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"I'm very often the first messager. Plus I'll be proactive in arranging to meet if the chat goes well. I genuinely don't think anything of it - if I like someone, why would I faff around waiting for them to ask me? It's just wasted energy. Am I the odd one out? Mrs TMN x NipNips. I don't think you're an odd one out, no. I was musing. If I like someone I'm excited. Want to do something about it. But then I know some are more traditional, that perhaps having an enthusiastic Meli can be a bit much, maybe they'd prefer to take the lead. And thus, the thread was born. " Why are you not being you, though? Cos if I'm starting off an interaction by censoring myself, it's somewhat inauspicious. IMO traditional is often a polite way of saying "women, know your place" when it comes to relationships. If someone doesn't like the way I am, we're not a good fit. You don't need to dilute yourself. X | |||
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