FabSwingers.com forum: Funniest swear word in the world?

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

Are there any swear words that just make you laugh or words you can’t take seriously, even when they’re used in pure anger or disgust?

A friend of mine used the word minge yesterday when describing a fella (what a minge!!). I hadn’t heard the m-word since my school days, so I was transported back to being an awkward giggling Kevin or Perry. It didn’t help that my friend is also usually quite proper and sophisticated, so the minge outburst came without warning or expectation…

Your bestest funny swear words or funny angryness situations please? Ta x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
36 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Nincompoop (it’s a very tame insult) but the phonetics are, I always thought, rather funny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iddlesticksMan
36 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

Flippin eckers like

Either that or

Cuntybollocks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Nincompoop (it’s a very tame insult) but the phonetics are, I always thought, rather funny

Poop

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *raigxMan
36 weeks ago

Northampton

Bellend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Flippin eckers like

Either that or

Cuntybollocks.

I used to have a friend at uni who everyone just called cuntibollocks! I don’t think many people, including me, knew his actual name…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

I have a friend who called someone in anger a nobblyflob once, no idea what it means but it had me in bits!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lderflower_AppleWoman
36 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I have a friend who called someone in anger a nobblyflob once, no idea what it means but it had me in bits!"

I’m not going to google it! It’s probably some filthy sex act! I’ve been tricked by you lot before!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ractorlad3800Man
36 weeks ago

derbyshire

(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

Cock said in a posh accent is dead sexy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

In my mind I’m just seeing a person on a diet shouting at their dinner plate?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

I didn’t know I wasn’t permitted

it can’t be replaced because it was someone else’s rage word

and I personally like the C-bomb

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ractorlad3800Man
36 weeks ago

derbyshire

[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 12:05:44]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ractorlad3800Man
36 weeks ago

derbyshire

"(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

In my mind I’m just seeing a person on a diet shouting at their dinner plate?

Someone’s going to say the warm apple pie scenario for (fuxking salad )

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rill PhilMan
36 weeks ago

Crediton

"Knob jocky" is definitely one of my faves but, I like "insults" that aren't actually rude too like "Plank" or "plumb"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
36 weeks ago

Midlands

I'm not condoning his actions but I did find it funny when Boris Johnson called some hecklers "lefty tossers"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

I didn’t know I wasn’t permitted

it can’t be replaced because it was someone else’s rage word

and I personally like the C-bomb

I’ll allow it

I use it lots myself, but I think my friends just cover their ears

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cotsguyyMan
36 weeks ago

fife

Simply....bawbag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Thundercunt was my favourite whilst in the Navy. I can’t remember the last time anyone was deserving of that and I’ve moved away from the Cbomb and cleaned up my act.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oquars19458Man
36 weeks ago

sheffield

Knob sack

Fucktard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke OzadeMan
36 weeks ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Bitchnuts!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *J the bullMan
36 weeks ago

Washington

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Belgium !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uffymayfairCouple
36 weeks ago

vera playa, Almeria

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

That's one of mine that I tend to use when a proper tirade of abuse isn't appropriate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leanandkeenMan
36 weeks ago

jarrow

Knob head and cock womble are regular vocabulary. But I do love a jock calling some one a fanny and a southerner calling someone a C unt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ltrMan
36 weeks ago

sheffield

Fuckwit is my favourite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Fuckwit is my favourite "

I use this one a lot at work lately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
36 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

I like the classics. ‘Bollocks’.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

""Knob jocky" is definitely one of my faves but, I like "insults" that aren't actually rude too like "Plank" or "plumb""

Mix ‘em up, like you fucking banana!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ingu and The ApeCouple
36 weeks ago

The Igloo

Cock juggling thundercunt. Think Ryan Reynolds said it in the Blade movie he was in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erfectlychaoticWoman
36 weeks ago

Aldershot

Twunt is a good one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellishornyMan
36 weeks ago

surrey

Mothers lips

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Mothers lips "

Not googling it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icolerobbieCouple
36 weeks ago

walsall

Tagnut

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

That’s like a better version of the lights are on! Borrowing that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cotsguyyMan
36 weeks ago

fife

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

Wet lettuce - that one always makes me giggle.

I only hear it from people in Hull though.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cotsguyyMan
36 weeks ago

fife

Another version is - you can see the wheel is going round but the hamster is dead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cotsguyyMan
36 weeks ago

fife

"Wet lettuce - that one always makes me giggle.

I only hear it from people in Hull though.

Mrs "

I've heard it used in other places, or variations like limp lettuce.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umalotagainMan
36 weeks ago

a town called malice

Always difficult as in Glasgow Cunt and bawbag are both terms of endearment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

mouth-breather

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

Your breath!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
36 weeks ago

London

Poopoohead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Poopoohead"

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
36 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word. "

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

That’s like a better version of the lights are on! Borrowing that!

Yes! I thought it was pretty clever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Dicksplash

Always makes me chuckle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
36 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)"

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain. "

I’m not averse to it…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Dicksplash

Always makes me chuckle "

Yessssss! Dicksplash! That was an old school one!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avinaTVTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

This is a bit niche, but we had a corporal during basic training in the SADF who had a knack for cracking us all up with elaborate insults. He used to call recruits an "etter blaps" (it's Afrikaans) - literally translated, "pre-cum mistake"; someone conceived by such a mistake that it was pre-cum that got their mum pregnant, not even a proper ejaculation. It's just so gloriously demeaning, and not nearly as punchy in English

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
36 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge"

Omg that’s twice you’ve said it now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"This is a bit niche, but we had a corporal during basic training in the SADF who had a knack for cracking us all up with elaborate insults. He used to call recruits an "etter blaps" (it's Afrikaans) - literally translated, "pre-cum mistake"; someone conceived by such a mistake that it was pre-cum that got their mum pregnant, not even a proper ejaculation. It's just so gloriously demeaning, and not nearly as punchy in English"

I love the SA. Pretty much anything they say sounds either funny or cool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orkieBar1000Man
36 weeks ago

York

Cockwomble

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heOriginalLoisWoman
36 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge

Omg that’s twice you’ve said it now!

No I said m*unge, although that then reminded me of Mary, Mungo and Midge and has taken some of the innocence of childhood away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickyKlungespeareMan
36 weeks ago

St Leonards

Big soft spot for "thundercunt" - it makes me laugh a lot, all contexts.

But the favourite is between friends, when one of us does something mind-bogglingly stupid or inexplicable. There's a pause, a look, and simply "You utter fuckwit".

Rarely can you be stripped of all ego and feel so loved at the same time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke OzadeMan
36 weeks ago

Ho Chi Minge City

They also had “the best part of you ran down your moms leg”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ild_oatsMan
36 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

Fitbin according to Viz is meant to be the rudest word in the English language.

Funny because it’s meaningless….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Twunt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mizhereMan
36 weeks ago

Thame area

Baw bag used in Scotland - for those who need a translation scrotum lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
36 weeks ago

peterborough

Tottenham

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andy CanesWoman
36 weeks ago

candy cane lane

Dickhead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oquars19458Man
36 weeks ago

sheffield

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andy CanesWoman
36 weeks ago

candy cane lane

Shitforbrains

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Dickhead"

Who you calling a dickhead?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollybirdWoman
36 weeks ago

east Cork

Bolloxchops

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land

Not swearing but "Fel rhech mewn pot jam" Welsh for like a fart in a jam jar.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hriscooperMan
36 weeks ago

Warrington

Cockwomble or fuck stick always makes me and others smile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Bolloxchops

Ouch!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Not swearing but "Fel rhech mewn pot jam" Welsh for like a fart in a jam jar. "

Pot jam!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Cockwomble or fuck stick always makes me and others smile. "

Willywomble seems like winner today!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Wank Stain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agnar73Man
36 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Baw bag used in Scotland - for those who need a translation scrotum lol"

Bawbag one word.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uffnmuffCouple
36 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 19:49:49]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 19:49:49]"

Spit it out!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arren81Man
36 weeks ago

cheshire

Thundercunt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

It's not a swear word but I love ...numpty...just makes me chuckle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"It's not a swear word but I love ...numpty...just makes me chuckle "

Numpty is great! I think the less sweary people new can be more affective, it’s like you’re telling someone they’re a complete bellend without going low or getting angry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eadymade31Man
36 weeks ago

newbiggin by the sea

Not swear words but divvy or knacker

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Not swear words but divvy or knacker "

Div in a scouse accent is splendid!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Total fuck wit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ermite12ukMan
36 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

You should be on the stage: Cleaning it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
36 weeks ago

Nowhere

Tube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

"Another version is - you can see the wheel is going round but the hamster is dead.

haha so like this one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

as much use as a chocolate teapot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uctifanoWoman
36 weeks ago

Glasgow

Fannybaws always makes me laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Dickwad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread