FabSwingers.com forum: Funniest swear word in the world?

By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

Are there any swear words that just make you laugh or words you can’t take seriously, even when they’re used in pure anger or disgust?

A friend of mine used the word minge yesterday when describing a fella (what a minge!!). I hadn’t heard the m-word since my school days, so I was transported back to being an awkward giggling Kevin or Perry. It didn’t help that my friend is also usually quite proper and sophisticated, so the minge outburst came without warning or expectation…

Your bestest funny swear words or funny angryness situations please? Ta x

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By *ensuallover1000Man
24 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Nincompoop (it’s a very tame insult) but the phonetics are, I always thought, rather funny

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By *iddlesticksMan
24 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

Flippin eckers like

Either that or

Cuntybollocks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Nincompoop (it’s a very tame insult) but the phonetics are, I always thought, rather funny

Poop

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By *raigxMan
24 weeks ago

Northampton

Bellend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Flippin eckers like

Either that or

Cuntybollocks.

I used to have a friend at uni who everyone just called cuntibollocks! I don’t think many people, including me, knew his actual name…

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By *aizyWoman
24 weeks ago

west midlands

I have a friend who called someone in anger a nobblyflob once, no idea what it means but it had me in bits!

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By *lderflowerappleWoman
24 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting.

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By *antastic_Mr_Fox_76Man
24 weeks ago

District 13

Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I have a friend who called someone in anger a nobblyflob once, no idea what it means but it had me in bits!"

I’m not going to google it! It’s probably some filthy sex act! I’ve been tricked by you lot before!

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By *ractorlad3800Man
24 weeks ago

derbyshire

(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

Cock said in a posh accent is dead sexy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

In my mind I’m just seeing a person on a diet shouting at their dinner plate?

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By *antastic_Mr_Fox_76Man
24 weeks ago

District 13

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

I didn’t know I wasn’t permitted

it can’t be replaced because it was someone else’s rage word

and I personally like the C-bomb

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By *ractorlad3800Man
24 weeks ago

derbyshire

[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 12:05:44]

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By *ractorlad3800Man
24 weeks ago

derbyshire

"(Fucking salad) always cracks me up that one does

In my mind I’m just seeing a person on a diet shouting at their dinner plate?

Someone’s going to say the warm apple pie scenario for (fuxking salad )

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By *rill PhilMan
24 weeks ago

Crediton

"Knob jocky" is definitely one of my faves but, I like "insults" that aren't actually rude too like "Plank" or "plumb"

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By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

I'm not condoning his actions but I did find it funny when Boris Johnson called some hecklers "lefty tossers"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Cunt sniff

, heard it as a teen

Omg you said the C-word! Maybe mufflesnuffler could replace it

I didn’t know I wasn’t permitted

it can’t be replaced because it was someone else’s rage word

and I personally like the C-bomb

I’ll allow it

I use it lots myself, but I think my friends just cover their ears

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By *cotsguyyMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

Simply....bawbag

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Thundercunt was my favourite whilst in the Navy. I can’t remember the last time anyone was deserving of that and I’ve moved away from the Cbomb and cleaned up my act.

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By *oquars19458Man
24 weeks ago

sheffield

Knob sack

Fucktard

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By *uke OzadeMan
24 weeks ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Bitchnuts!

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By *J the bullMan
24 weeks ago

Washington

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Belgium !

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By *uffymayfairCouple
24 weeks ago

vera playa, Almeria

"I'm a fan of 'cockwomble'. It seems a very polite way of being very insulting."

That's one of mine that I tend to use when a proper tirade of abuse isn't appropriate

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By *leanandkeenMan
24 weeks ago

gateshead

Knob head and cock womble are regular vocabulary. But I do love a jock calling some one a fanny and a southerner calling someone a C unt

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By *ltrMan
24 weeks ago

sheffield

Fuckwit is my favourite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Fuckwit is my favourite "

I use this one a lot at work lately

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow

I like the classics. ‘Bollocks’.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

""Knob jocky" is definitely one of my faves but, I like "insults" that aren't actually rude too like "Plank" or "plumb""

Mix ‘em up, like you fucking banana!

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By *ingu and The ApeCouple
24 weeks ago

The Igloo

Cock juggling thundercunt. Think Ryan Reynolds said it in the Blade movie he was in.

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By *erfectlychaoticWoman
24 weeks ago

Aldershot

Twunt is a good one.

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By *ellishornyMan
24 weeks ago

surrey

Mothers lips

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Mothers lips "

Not googling it!

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By *icolerobbieCouple
24 weeks ago

walsall

Tagnut

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

That’s like a better version of the lights are on! Borrowing that!

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By *cotsguyyMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

love it

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
24 weeks ago

Leeds

Wet lettuce - that one always makes me giggle.

I only hear it from people in Hull though.

Mrs

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By *cotsguyyMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

Another version is - you can see the wheel is going round but the hamster is dead.

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By *cotsguyyMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast

"Wet lettuce - that one always makes me giggle.

I only hear it from people in Hull though.

Mrs "

I've heard it used in other places, or variations like limp lettuce.

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By *umalotagainMan
24 weeks ago

a town called malice

Always difficult as in Glasgow Cunt and bawbag are both terms of endearment

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By *wistntwirlCouple
24 weeks ago

Middle Land

mouth-breather

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

Your breath!

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
24 weeks ago

London

Poopoohead

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Poopoohead"

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
24 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word. "

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I read a comment on social media - “you look like yer heed is full eh shops but they’re all shut”

No swear words but it got the message across nicely

That’s like a better version of the lights are on! Borrowing that!

Yes! I thought it was pretty clever

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Dicksplash

Always makes me chuckle

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
24 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)"

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain. "

I’m not averse to it…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Dicksplash

Always makes me chuckle "

Yessssss! Dicksplash! That was an old school one!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

This is a bit niche, but we had a corporal during basic training in the SADF who had a knack for cracking us all up with elaborate insults. He used to call recruits an "etter blaps" (it's Afrikaans) - literally translated, "pre-cum mistake"; someone conceived by such a mistake that it was pre-cum that got their mum pregnant, not even a proper ejaculation. It's just so gloriously demeaning, and not nearly as punchy in English

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
24 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge"

Omg that’s twice you’ve said it now!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"This is a bit niche, but we had a corporal during basic training in the SADF who had a knack for cracking us all up with elaborate insults. He used to call recruits an "etter blaps" (it's Afrikaans) - literally translated, "pre-cum mistake"; someone conceived by such a mistake that it was pre-cum that got their mum pregnant, not even a proper ejaculation. It's just so gloriously demeaning, and not nearly as punchy in English"

I love the SA. Pretty much anything they say sounds either funny or cool

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By *orkieBar1000Man
24 weeks ago

York

Cockwomble

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By *heOriginalLoisWoman
24 weeks ago

London

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)

I would say liking and licking minge would be equally negative in my brain.

I’m not averse to it…

I did mean to add that this was not a post deriding those that do appreciate the m*nge

Omg that’s twice you’ve said it now!

No I said m*unge, although that then reminded me of Mary, Mungo and Midge and has taken some of the innocence of childhood away

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
24 weeks ago

St Leonards

Big soft spot for "thundercunt" - it makes me laugh a lot, all contexts.

But the favourite is between friends, when one of us does something mind-bogglingly stupid or inexplicable. There's a pause, a look, and simply "You utter fuckwit".

Rarely can you be stripped of all ego and feel so loved at the same time.

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By *uke OzadeMan
24 weeks ago

Ho Chi Minge City

They also had “the best part of you ran down your moms leg”

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By *ild_oatsMan
24 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

Fitbin according to Viz is meant to be the rudest word in the English language.

Funny because it’s meaningless….

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By *obycontinuedMan
24 weeks ago

Liverpool

Twunt

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By *mizhereMan
24 weeks ago

Thane area

Baw bag used in Scotland - for those who need a translation scrotum lol

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By *S chanel demarTV/TS
24 weeks ago

peterborough

Tottenham

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By *mber SkiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Cardiff-ish

Dickhead

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By *oquars19458Man
24 weeks ago

sheffield

"Poopoohead

Yours is minge, don’t lie!

Horrid word.

Who’d have thought you’d end up liking minge!

(I had to correct autocorrect there on liking!)"

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By *mber SkiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Cardiff-ish

Shitforbrains

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Dickhead"

Who you calling a dickhead?

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By *ollybirdWoman
24 weeks ago

east Cork

Bolloxchops

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By *emorefridaCouple
24 weeks ago

La la land

Not swearing but "Fel rhech mewn pot jam" Welsh for like a fart in a jam jar.

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By *hriscooperMan
24 weeks ago

Warrington

Cockwomble or fuck stick always makes me and others smile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Bolloxchops

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Not swearing but "Fel rhech mewn pot jam" Welsh for like a fart in a jam jar. "

Pot jam!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Cockwomble or fuck stick always makes me and others smile. "

Willywomble seems like winner today!

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Wank Stain

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By *agnar73Man
24 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Baw bag used in Scotland - for those who need a translation scrotum lol"

Bawbag one word.

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By *uffnmuffCouple
24 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 19:49:49]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"[Removed by poster at 15/04/24 19:49:49]"

Spit it out!

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By *arren81Man
24 weeks ago

stoke on trent

Thundercunt

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By *trawberry lacesWoman
24 weeks ago

angus

It's not a swear word but I love ...numpty...just makes me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"It's not a swear word but I love ...numpty...just makes me chuckle "

Numpty is great! I think the less sweary people new can be more affective, it’s like you’re telling someone they’re a complete bellend without going low or getting angry

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By *eadymade31Man
24 weeks ago

benton

Not swear words but divvy or knacker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Not swear words but divvy or knacker "

Div in a scouse accent is splendid!

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Total fuck wit

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By *ermite12ukMan
24 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

You should be on the stage: Cleaning it.

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By *odgerMooreMan
24 weeks ago

Carlisle

Tube

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By *ot to giggleWoman
24 weeks ago

Coventry

"Another version is - you can see the wheel is going round but the hamster is dead.

haha so like this one

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By *ot to giggleWoman
24 weeks ago

Coventry

as much use as a chocolate teapot

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By *uctifanoWoman
24 weeks ago

Glasgow

Fannybaws always makes me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Dickwad

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