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"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really… "And hi x | |||
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"Hi. I think I might be going through a midlife crisis. For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you? For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that?" Sorry to hear that. If it's not too much of a personal question, what does a midlife crisis look like from your perspective? I think it can mean wildly different things to different people. Very generally speaking, from my perspective, a MLC can include taking decisions and actions that would normally be 'out of character', actively choosing more 'risky' behaviours and not thinking as much about the consequences our actions can have on others. But that's just one perspective. My own version of this wasn't so much a crisis, it was more about coming to terms with some things changing and other things not working out as I'd hoped and lots of talking to a few trusted friends about these changes. Talking, lots of talking, always helps. I've never met you obviously, but have noticed that you're very honest and open on the threads and that gives me confidence that you'll be ok. Good luck to you!  | |||
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"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really… "Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'. I need to do more, -man-. | |||
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"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
And hi x"Hi. You can have one of these because it's Monday and I'm happy. x Actually you can have two. xx | |||
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"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'.
I need to do more, -man-. "You definitely need to do -man-   | |||
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"Stuff happens as you get older thar shape you and your life. Responsibilities and other stuff. Sometimes you feel like running to the hills and other times you are 21 again and want to paint the town red or sit under the stars on a beach with your friends and a quitar and sing till your heart's content. "Beautifully put, MB. Sometimes I want to ditch all my responsibilities and throw caution to the winds. I also agree with several other posters, sometimes things happen which make you stop and re-evaluate your life - do you want it to always be like this? What makes you think you're having a midlife crisis, OP? Mrs TMN x | |||
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"I loved my midlife crisis ... stopped giving a f*ck and worrying about what other people thought. Threw my thunderous c*nt of an ex out and divorced him. Took up a new sport Got a new job" Wow impressive! Go girl | |||
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"I'm also gonna throw in here - for women, is it synonymous with reaching perimenopause? The turning of a page in life. " Mine occured before that. But for me it was when the kids were a bit older and less full on. So I wasn't as overwhelmed and had time to assess my life. | |||
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"I loved my midlife crisis ... stopped giving a f*ck and worrying about what other people thought. Threw my thunderous c*nt of an ex out and divorced him. Took up a new sport Got a new job" That's all really positive! Brilliant to read, sounds like you really started living for you.  | |||
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"The last birthday I celebrated fully was my 21st. Every landmark decade since has been overshadowed by the death of a close family member within days of my turning 30, 40 and 50 so each one has been a reminder of the fragility of life rather than a crisis. " This has basically been my exact predicament also. I bought some sesame street trainers with oscar the grouch on a few months ago...I think that may have started the midlife crisis off on full swing.. | |||
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"I definitely think I will have one. I had a quarter life existential crisis. "Did you really? What did you do during it? | |||
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"Hi. I think I might be going through a midlife crisis. For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you? For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that? Sorry to hear that. If it's not too much of a personal question, what does a midlife crisis look like from your perspective? I think it can mean wildly different things to different people. Very generally speaking, from my perspective, a MLC can include taking decisions and actions that would normally be 'out of character', actively choosing more 'risky' behaviours and not thinking as much about the consequences our actions can have on others. But that's just one perspective. My own version of this wasn't so much a crisis, it was more about coming to terms with some things changing and other things not working out as I'd hoped and lots of talking to a few trusted friends about these changes. Talking, lots of talking, always helps. I've never met you obviously, but have noticed that you're very honest and open on the threads and that gives me confidence that you'll be ok. Good luck to you! "Aww that's really lovely, thank you! I'm not quite sure I am going through one really - I do have an increased desire to do certain things but a friend described it as so and it amused me. I think perhaps it's not age related so much as it is a moment when you decide to change/do certain things. Anyway, I really appreciate your post! x | |||
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"40 is middle aged????" Yes. Average life expectancy rounded up/down slightly and halved. | |||
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"If I ever happen to 'treat' (subject myself) to a pumpkin spiced latte (PSL) then I'll know I'm going through a mid-life crisis. #PSL-MLC" You're such a cad. 
When it's the season of the witch once more I shall do a homage to PSL on Fab in honour of you. | |||
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"I wouldn’t call it a crisis or anything urgent like that. I do tend to realise I have less time left on the planet to do my stuff and make my mark so it can be a little bit of a motivational kick up the arse to do things I want to try, with less fear of what people might think of my choices, because well does that matter really…
Ah the kick up the arse. Yes, I think that's what I'm experiencing. Maybe it's not age related more a grief thing where you realise how short life is and think '*uck, there's so much I haven't done'.
I need to do more, -man-.
You definitely need to do -man- "Incorrigible. Let me know* when you're next in the NW and we'll sort something out.
*See, I can match your energy. | |||
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"I've been actively looking forward to mine for years. It started with becoming a burlesque performer a few years back, I bought a convertible that was entirely inappropriate to be my only car, I did a few things I can't really talk about and now I'm properly embracing the travel bug and being more selfish. It's liberating, wonderful fun and in my case bloody well deserved. " Do you mind if I pinch this as a blueprint for my midlife crisis? | |||
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"I want to believe the world is a little better place for women now and we are in charge of our destiny." This is *such* a good point. The mid-life crisis used to be seen as such a male thing. That’s why it was always portrayed as having an affair with a younger woman, buying a sports car, etc. I’m so glad things have changed. | |||
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"I want to believe the world is a little better place for women now and we are in charge of our destiny. This is *such* a good point. The mid-life crisis used to be seen as such a male thing. That’s why it was always portrayed as having an affair with a younger woman, buying a sports car, etc. I’m so glad things have changed. " | |||
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"I've been actively looking forward to mine for years. It started with becoming a burlesque performer a few years back, I bought a convertible that was entirely inappropriate to be my only car, I did a few things I can't really talk about and now I'm properly embracing the travel bug and being more selfish. It's liberating, wonderful fun and in my case bloody well deserved. Do you mind if I pinch this as a blueprint for my midlife crisis? "Go for it! | |||
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"The last birthday I celebrated fully was my 21st. Every landmark decade since has been overshadowed by the death of a close family member within days of my turning 30, 40 and 50 so each one has been a reminder of the fragility of life rather than a crisis. " It's not so much about big birthdays approaching (mine isn't until the final quarter of the year). I do agree the reminder of the fragility of life can have an impact on you; whether it's death of a close one, a health scare. Those things that make you reconsider what it is your want from life, what's important. | |||
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"Oh shush. You're not even middle aged yet Meli, you're a mere lamb! I think I have them regularly since I hit 40. Being a Domme, joining Fab, going to gigs away from home on my own. Nothing too extreme "Ah I like you Mimi. Lib calls me a young turtle which isn't quite as flattering...
It sounds like you're carving out time for yourself and enjoying what's important to you; that's definitely positive.
I've never been on holiday/mini breaks by myself. It's either through work or with loved ones, friends, partners etc. I've booked a few recently (which thankfully aren't too expensive, a perk really!) and am currently looking at a fourth. | |||
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"I've never been on holiday/mini breaks by myself. It's either through work or with loved ones, friends, partners etc. I've booked a few recently (which thankfully aren't too expensive, a perk really!) and am currently looking at a fourth. "I turn business trips into ‘me time’ by not travelling with my colleagues, booking an extra day, or just going out alone in the evening. Works for me. | |||
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"I got a tattoo, piercings, and had an urge to have sex with random men. It's still ongoing." Show me your piercings. | |||
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"I got a tattoo, piercings, and had an urge to have sex with random men. It's still ongoing. Show me your piercings. "Not those type of piercings RTG..... | |||
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"Hi. I think I might be going through a midlife crisis. For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you? OK you lovely creatures When I was 40 didn't even think about it when I got 5o still didn't think about it . got 56 simply went back to been 50 its just a number you choose to tell people you may think things your head but to men and others that see you Your beauty shine through so you don't have to worry about it . For those who aren't, think you'll have one? What do you think of when you hear that?" | |||
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"Mine struck early, mid 30s. Left my husband, climbed a big mountain, quit my job not long after, got a couple of new tattoos..who knows what's next. "Get a motorbike def not boring | |||
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"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though. I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune." Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more And we don't need motorbike | |||
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"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though. I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune. Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more And we don't need motorbike " but how would we get to the shops for snacks? | |||
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"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though. I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune. Peace and love my lady your welcome in my teepee. I might not be younger lover any more And we don't need motorbike but how would we get to the shops for snacks? "No problem my lady In our wigwam Because ive got a cellphone as we now live in today Deliveroo will bring them to us . Unlike when we were young . | |||
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"I'm also gonna throw in here - for women, is it synonymous with reaching perimenopause? The turning of a page in life. " I think for some women it must be. I'm definitely not perimenopausal though. I think the menopause can be quite a big thing. Once through it more of a '*uck it' attitude is adopted. | |||
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"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though. I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune." No, not always. The older less caring what others think isn't always a good thing but on the whole I wouldn't say that part of it screams crisis. It's a term used though. Midlife crisis, almost a comedic joke about someone, normally a man, who desperately tries to chase his youth through sex with young women and keeping up with the Joneses. It's not always a crisis quite like that. For some men that's just how they are. | |||
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"Is joining fab then getting three tattoos in a year a midlife crisis? (Asking for a friend etc)" Autocarrot. I will find your makers! Arrgh! | |||
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"The older I got the less I cared what other people thought of me not that I'd ever cared that much anyway. I don't think that's a crisis though. I did grow my hair long in my fifties but that's hardly on a par with taking a young lover, buying a motorbike and living in a commune. No, not always. The older less caring what others think isn't always a good thing but on the whole I wouldn't say that part of it screams crisis. It's a term used though. Midlife crisis, almost a comedic joke about someone, normally a man, who desperately tries to chase his youth through sex with young women and keeping up with the Joneses. It's not always a crisis quite like that. For some men that's just how they are. "Caring less to the extent you take no account of other people's feelings definitely isn't a good thing, I agree. Very old people often get to the stage where all their filters are off. I can remember people saying "ooo he's having a midlife crisis" about men who started wearing baseball caps back to front and skateboarding in their forties . I really hope those men didn't care what people thought | |||
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"Didn't have a crisis as such. But I did go through a I don't want to live the other half of my life the way I was. So I did do the stereotypical thing of leaving the ex and I've changed jobs recently. I sometimes think at certain points in our lives we live on autopilot. And something makes us realise that and we re-evaluate our lives. And I think it's that is what mid life crisis is. " Mid-life clarity, not crisis. I had the same. Xx | |||
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" For those who are middle aged (40+) and above, what did it look like to you?" Pretty sure I’m having one now. Everything is shit, I’m dropping to bits, and I feel trapped. Is this it? Bugger. | |||
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"34? Yes, prime time for a crisis, but obviously past the stage we can call it a "quarter life" crisis. " Erm thanks, I like you too even with that savagery. "Weirdly, given I'm not much of a petrol head, I've recently been looking enviously at sports cars, so expect me to follow the stereotype soon. " Oh you should! It'll pair perfectly with horsey girls. "On a serious note, I do genuinely have a sense that the time is now if I am do take a different career direction - something more wholesome and outdoorsy, but not doing much about it. So my crisis is mainly thought-based, which pretty much sums me up." Maybe that's what it's about. Not the material markers of one, more the shift of mentality. The renewed appreciation for certain things, the desire to embrace life more. | |||
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"I already had one when I turned 30 lol. I’m an overachiever I guess. But I think that was more a momlife crisis/realisation. The auld saying of you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping your kids, it finally kicked in. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had another in 10yrs when parental responsibilities change again. I know I struggle with a constant battle between giving my all to everyone else and then becoming burnt out and having no choice but to put myself first for a little while - Mrs"
Prioritising yourself is important, not always the easiest thing to do but one of the most important. Being an overachiever can be incredibly draining and then you reach a point where you say fuck it and channel all that energy back in to yourself.
I hope you're able to do that soon, even if only for a little bit, x | |||
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