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Work / mental health

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
46 weeks ago

cardiff

More just sharing my thoughts...

Have been off work for 4 months due to needing to take time off to look after a family member/ my own mental health.

I'm returning to work Monday as everything in my personal life has started to settle down. Really don't wanna have to go back though lol. I imagine it must be really hard for parents (assuming women specifically) who have to go back after 9 months to year after having baby

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By *stwo2023Couple
46 weeks ago

Worcester

What is it that's making you not want to go to work?

Have you discussed it with your boss?

Evie

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By *eschef81Man
46 weeks ago

sutton

It's also hard for people working in schools who have 6 weeks off during the silummer sometimes 8 if you work in private schools.

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By *eschef81Man
46 weeks ago

sutton


"It's also hard for people working in schools who have 6 weeks off during the silummer sometimes 8 if you work in private schools. "

The first few days will be hard adjusting but once you're back and chatting to people you'll soon forget

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
46 weeks ago

cardiff


"What is it that's making you not want to go to work?

Have you discussed it with your boss?

Evie "

It's more be just being used to being off having to look after family member instead of going to my actual job

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By *stwo2023Couple
46 weeks ago

Worcester

I think returning after a period of ill health, either physically or mentally is different to returning after the summer holidays or maternity/parental leave.

Evie

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By *unchalMan
46 weeks ago

Dartford


"More just sharing my thoughts...

Have been off work for 4 months due to needing to take time off to look after a family member/ my own mental health.

I'm returning to work Monday as everything in my personal life has started to settle down. Really don't wanna have to go back though lol. I imagine it must be really hard for parents (assuming women specifically) who have to go back after 9 months to year after having baby"

Sorry to hear that. Work is shit and no amount of talking makes it less shit. We/you just have to keep at it until you no longer need the money, I guess. I am hardly working at the moment (although getting paid full-time) it makes me feel guilty but it’s what I need. I have given so much extra over the years…) Take care. And tell your boss about it. Make them look after you! Oh, and good luck too.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Work should look to give you a phased return after such a long period. They are also required to make reasonable adjustments to assist you returning to work if you need them. If your business has an occupational health department then they will also help, it's the one department nobody will dare to argue with.

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By *onameyet2Man
46 weeks ago

chorley


"It's also hard for people working in schools who have 6 weeks off during the silummer sometimes 8 if you work in private schools. "

Is this serious??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
46 weeks ago

East Sussex

I had six months off once due to problems with my back. I had a phased return. I didn't want to return because I'd got used to being at home but once I got there I was fine.

I had longer off when the children were born but returning to work was fine because the hours were shorter, the work was easier and I actually got paid.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
46 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.


"Work should look to give you a phased return after such a long period. They are also required to make reasonable adjustments to assist you returning to work if you need them. If your business has an occupational health department then they will also help, it's the one department nobody will dare to argue with."

Unless you work for a family owned building firm who don't give a crap about employee welfare,but as we are just a bunch of hairy Neanderthal builders we don't matter, so we?

Sorry not having a dig at you in anyway shape or form,but the toxic culture within the building trade in general.

OP

Perhaps you can ask as suggested to work three days for a few weeks to re adjust, I did this ( much to my employer at the times disgust) when I almost died from covid in 2020.

It really helped .

Good luck OP you'll be fine baby steps don't think about the week just set goals getting to first tea break or getting to lunch and so on break each day down into manageable chunk's

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By *panksspankedMan
46 weeks ago

Edinburgh

It's a tricky thing. I only fully realised how stressful my job was when I took early retirement. It took me a while to adjust to a much better and healthier lifestyle

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By *onameyet2Man
46 weeks ago

chorley

Op

I’d seriously consider changing your job if you are so unhappy,

Good luck mate

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
46 weeks ago

cardiff

Thanks for all the comments. When I spoke to my boss bout a phased return they said to get a note from the doctor for it which I gotta do before I go in Monday.

It's not so much the job as more used to being off while looking after family. Though I will be looking for a new job where I can get more balance for family in near future

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over


"It's also hard for people working in schools who have 6 weeks off during the silummer sometimes 8 if you work in private schools. "

And have lots to prepare for the new term but the myth gets perpetuated. (Not working in a school btw but know what teachers have to fo these days, unless of course you meant other school workers like cooks etc)

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
46 weeks ago

Aberdeen


"Work should look to give you a phased return after such a long period. They are also required to make reasonable adjustments to assist you returning to work if you need them. If your business has an occupational health department then they will also help, it's the one department nobody will dare to argue with."

Was just thinking to myself if this was one of my guys, I'd have been looking to do a phased return.

MrsAbz

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
46 weeks ago

Essex

Absolutely should be a phased return.

Contact should have been (sympathetically) made during your time off to arrange such. You return should have been discussed well in advance - with sympathetic consideration. They could have asked you about a “fit note” from your Dr signed as phased return weeks ago.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
46 weeks ago

cardiff


"Absolutely should be a phased return.

Contact should have been (sympathetically) made during your time off to arrange such. You return should have been discussed well in advance - with sympathetic consideration. They could have asked you about a “fit note” from your Dr signed as phased return weeks ago."

Well when I had a meeting with my boss last month they said when I know I'm coming back ring up and we will sort something out but to get a Dr note to back it up for HR. when I rang 2 weeks ago to say I would be back at the end of this note I got told they were off themselves for 2 weeks

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
46 weeks ago

Essex


"Absolutely should be a phased return.

Contact should have been (sympathetically) made during your time off to arrange such. You return should have been discussed well in advance - with sympathetic consideration. They could have asked you about a “fit note” from your Dr signed as phased return weeks ago.

Well when I had a meeting with my boss last month they said when I know I'm coming back ring up and we will sort something out but to get a Dr note to back it up for HR. when I rang 2 weeks ago to say I would be back at the end of this note I got told they were off themselves for 2 weeks"

That’s just not acceptable!!!

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
46 weeks ago

cardiff

My place is not the most professional lol

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
45 weeks ago

cardiff

Though funnily as I have a Monday to Friday job I find it but odd my boss rings me on a Saturday night to ask when I'm coming back

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By *panksspankedMan
45 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"Though funnily as I have a Monday to Friday job I find it but odd my boss rings me on a Saturday night to ask when I'm coming back "

That's really not on. Before I retired part of my job was to line manage some staff who worked night shift. I was asked to take a works mobile home with me in case they wanted to contact me! I refused pointing out that I was simply not being paid to be on call 24/7 not was it a reasonable request. I was already listed as an emergency contact on.my own phone which for me was sufficient. There were rules in place governing the use of that.There are people who live only for their work. I was never one of them. I don't believe it is a healthy choice

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
45 weeks ago

cardiff

Yea same here work is just work

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Do you enjoy your work something to focus on and to get out of your own headspace.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
45 weeks ago

cardiff


"Do you enjoy your work something to focus on and to get out of your own headspace."

Don't know about enjoy but I don't mind it although it has been going downhill alot lately.. mostly lack of staff.

Will be looking to leave for a job that suits my work life balance more soon though

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By *sWyldWoman
45 weeks ago

Edinburgh

As Misty said a phased return should have been planned and potentially a stress risk assessment /wellbeing plan.

I'd suggest a flexible work request if you can afford to do that, it would be some way to help you get a bit of balance

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
45 weeks ago

cardiff

Can't afford that unfortunately. I will be going to the docs on the way into work today to pick up the note then will be going into my work to say what are you gonna give me for phased return.

As I said previously my place isn't professional. A Co worker went to the boss once with some valid complaints about his job role and he basically got told if you don't like it here go somewhere else

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

cardiff

Follow up. I've been back in work for 3 months and all going well. Thanks all for messages on here and the private ones.

Pain in the backside now us I'm on annual leave but work friends keep messaging me and ringing me asking how to do stuff when I'm off lol leave me alone haha

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Follow up. I've been back in work for 3 months and all going well. Thanks all for messages on here and the private ones.

Pain in the backside now us I'm on annual leave but work friends keep messaging me and ringing me asking how to do stuff when I'm off lol leave me alone haha"

Great you're back and it's all going well.

Set your boundaries though, refuse to answer work related questions on your time off.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
34 weeks ago

Colchester


"Follow up. I've been back in work for 3 months and all going well. Thanks all for messages on here and the private ones.

Pain in the backside now us I'm on annual leave but work friends keep messaging me and ringing me asking how to do stuff when I'm off lol leave me alone haha"

Thank you OP for the update and I'm pleased things have gone well for you.

May I ask, did you find the return once you settled back in, offer you a meaningful distraction from the previous events ? Was it therapeutic in that respect ?

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

cardiff

It was good seeing friends there again and doing some stuff though if I won the lottery id have no problem just leaving lol.

Luckily for the time being a lot of things personally have settled down but it does help as a distraction for sure

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