FabSwingers.com forum: Do you ever

By *lack Orchid 0204 OP Man
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Do you ever look at a profile and are too nervous / shy to contact them ?

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By *offiaCoolWoman
37 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

Not nervous or shy, but sometimes you make an assessment of whether you would be their type.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
37 weeks ago

your head

Not really. I sometimes used to be when I first joined because I didn't think I'd be their type or they wouldn't want to talk to me. Now, if I want to message someone, I will. If they want to reply, they will.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

East Sussex

I frequently assume that we wouldn't be what they're looking for based on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I wouldn’t say I’m shy.Ive messaged people that I thought I’d never get a response from and was pleasantly surprised. I thoroughly read a profile first before looking a pictures. If I feel there is a compatibility with interests, and I tick boxes for what they are looking for then I will make an approach. If they have no information or very little information I tend to pass them by. I will talk to anyone about anything as long as mutual respect is shown.

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By *laytime_13Woman
37 weeks ago

Lincs

Yes

But also on occasion the reality hasn’t matched the fantasy and so maybe fantasy is best left as that

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Not shy or nervous, I would echo what nicecouple and tinkerbell said

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

All the time.

I get good days where I think I’m a catch & send the message.

Ok day. I had one good day. I sent the message.

Sending the first message is so hard. I actually do take my hat off to people who do.

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By *iddlesticksMan
37 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

I tend to realise quite quickly that I’m not their type.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
37 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Not nervous or shy…but if their profile is way different to ours then I’d just think there’s no compatibility.

If it’s a profile that stands out as fantastic then we’d just message to show our appreciation of a good profile.

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By *itty AmourWoman
37 weeks ago

just around the corner

"I frequently assume that we wouldn't be what they're looking for based on their profile. "

Yup this.

Often I hot list a profile and fab a few pictures...if they're interested, they'll reciprocate

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By *sWyldWoman
37 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Often

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
37 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

Nervous and shy aren't the right words but, i often read profiles and think - damn we aren't going to be compatible.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
37 weeks ago

St Leonards

Similar to most answers - shyness or nervousness aren't really in play, but assessment of compatibilities is.

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
37 weeks ago

Carlisle

With my previous profile I never messaged because of shyness etc. There were many reasons, from 'my agenda wasn't to meet, but read the forum and check out events' so what was the point messaging? To, if I messaged some it'd most likely be taken the wrong way and they'd probably only talk to me as I was a potential willing hole (cynical I know, sorry) to finally why would they answer back? I read profiles, so I wouldn't be going in blind but I don't write witty and an interesting intros......and then I'm back to the first two reasons, can I be bothered and I'm a potential willing hole.

I feel more comfortable meeting in person ie a club or something, you can get a good gauge of someone and them you. A person's online presence or popularity doesn't show a true reflection of the entirety of a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

No, but I do often think I won’t be their type.

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By *rcoupleCouple
37 weeks ago

Mid Glam

Not really.

Most likely we woulnt message if we thought we were not their type/compatible.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also if their previous meets have all been very different to what we have to offer I'd assume we wouldn't be what they're looking for.

I think being realistic is a double edged sword though. I've been surprised by (what I assume is) genuine interest from people who I wouldn't have thought would give us a second look

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By *tsJustKateWoman
37 weeks ago

London

"Do you ever look at a profile and are too nervous / shy to contact them ?

Not nervous, but I sometimes wonder why they message me when, judging by their photos, I don't appear to be their type at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"Not nervous or shy, but sometimes you make an assessment of whether you would be their type."

Exactly this for me

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By *ighland couple 99Couple
37 weeks ago

Inverness

All the time

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By *ot to giggleWoman
37 weeks ago

Coventry

i wonder sometimes why people message me when nothing fits on what they say they want

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By *ean counterMan
37 weeks ago

Kettering

Us older men simply know that the gorgeous ladies in their 20's and 30's are not going to be interested in someone old enough to be their dad. Not nervous or shy just good old fashioned common sense

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By *TG3Man
37 weeks ago

Dorchester

No but i know my limitations

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By *mmaleiaWoman
37 weeks ago

Trowbridge

When I 1st joined I couldn’t pluck up the courage to message anybody, now I’ll just go for it if they’re interested or not

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By *smith87Man
37 weeks ago

totton

I do this all the time. I look and think they are stunning and too good looking for me.

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By *ynamicnatureMan
37 weeks ago

Doncaster

All the time Op,

There are actually quite a few ladies on this very thread whom I'd like to start a conversation with, but I'm to bloody chicken to have a go because you only get one go at it and I'm scared of overthinking my first message I guess

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By *rHotNottsMan
37 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Do you ever look at a profile and are too nervous / shy to contact them ?

Not really nervous, but thought I have absolutely zero chance there, and was wrong time and time again.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
37 weeks ago

Leeds

No, I just CBA to contact anyone.

Mrs

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By *eliWoman
37 weeks ago

Not shy as such. Sometimes I just think, ah there's no point, they won't be interested. I guess nerves can sometimes come in to it. I can at times get in to my own head and think nope. Zero chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Yeah. But oh well

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

"No, but I do often think I won’t be their type. "

This for me too.

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By *tudmcmuffinMan
37 weeks ago

Swindon

I have a tendency to overthink the first message but once I’ve got over that I don’t really get nervous or shy anymore.

If they like you they’ll respond, if they don’t they won’t.

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By *ellroseWoman
37 weeks ago

Brum

Nope, it’s very rare I send messages

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Yes. There’s ones I think are amazing but the shyness/fear gets me

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
37 weeks ago

york

Absolutely this is the case

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By *cottish guy 555Man
37 weeks ago

London

It's very rare for me to send a first message. Not nerves or shyness, just don't think I am what most of the lovely people on fab are looking for.

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By *ed MartinMan
37 weeks ago

Shefford

"Do you ever look at a profile and are too nervous / shy to contact them ?

Sometimes. And by ‘sometimes’ I mean every time.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
37 weeks ago

Reading

I dont send any messages and it is partly due to lack of confidence.

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