FabSwingers.com forum: Fuck me…

By *adyBugs OP Woman
25 weeks ago

cognito

…yes of course actually fuck me

but what I’m really looking for this time is your stories!

When was the last time you used the phrase “fuck me” either in your head or out loud.

For me, it was a few hours ago when something happened at work that was a last straw situation…”fuck me, how could you get that so wrong” (facepalm emoji)

Your turn!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Umm probably yesterday. In my head- fuck me this is insane

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation.

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
25 weeks ago

cognito

"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation."

Gahhh that’s annoying when that happens ain’t it

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By *reeSpiritElleWoman
25 weeks ago

Miles of beautiful golden sand, Dorset

4 weeks ago..ish. On the sofa, on all fours, enjoying some very hot sex when he thrust a little bit too hard and my forehead met the wall ... Fuck Me!!

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By *ileyandOhCouple
25 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Burnt my arm on the oven that was a "gah fuck me that hurt" moment x

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
25 weeks ago

cognito

"4 weeks ago..ish. On the sofa, on all fours, enjoying some very hot sex when he thrust a little bit too hard and my forehead met the wall ... Fuck Me!!

Ouchie

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Fuck me! Nobody else will and I’m all alone in the north west

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By *eliWoman
25 weeks ago

I was having a little vent about work last night. Mini. Like thirty seconds in a voicenote. In reply, a friend said 'them's the break, kiddo'

and I said fuck me twice.

Fuck me because it was unexpectedly and inexplicably sexy.

Fuck me because I should probably go back to therapy and find some self respect whilst I'm at it.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
25 weeks ago

Kendal

Both of today at work.

Me - gashed my finger, they always sting!

Him - apparently (to himself after putting the phone down) a customer was being unbelievably thick and asked the same question four times.

C xoxo

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By *hesubtlegentMan
25 weeks ago

surrey

Earlier today when I heard my cat puking….

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By *parkle1974Woman
25 weeks ago

Leeds

Several times today at work! x

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By *red333Man
25 weeks ago

Dorchester

I missed the junction i needed on the motorway 20 miles out of my way

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
25 weeks ago

your head

Probably the last time I had sex. I tend to say for fuck sake for every day stuff, usually multiple times a day at work.

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By *edeWoman
25 weeks ago

the abyss

I say it far too frequently to remember

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By *red333Man
25 weeks ago

Dorchester

I rarely say the words mind

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Whe the dogs found all the muddy puddles on their first outing in my shiny new car.

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
25 weeks ago

cognito

"Earlier today when I heard my cat puking…. "

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
25 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off

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By *ed MartinMan
25 weeks ago

Shefford

Can’t remember the last time “fuck me!” escaped my lips, but “for fucks sake!” makes an appearance multiple times a day. It’s completely excusable though, I’ve got a dissertation due next week.

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By *ed MartinMan
25 weeks ago

Shefford

"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off

Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?

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By *ereforgigglesMan
25 weeks ago

Scotland

Mine generally is "fuck me sideways!" But in regards to OP absofuckinglutely!

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By *ysizeMan
25 weeks ago

Nottingham

The last time saying "fuck me" out loud I remember clearly was with a random guy in his hotel room with my ankles on his shoulders accompanied by "harder"

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By *ularliWoman
25 weeks ago

worcester

A few times today. At work and then when someone on here sent me their photos. My instant reaction was wow, fuck me

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

I’m the same as Ned., can’t remember last time I said those words in that order

Working from home I often swear at the 6 music dj’s … fuck you Lauren , fuck off mary Anne .. for fucks sake Craig

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
25 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off

Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?"

That was the first thing I did, I work for a College so rang the ICT dept who control the CCTV. It was a Student who was being careless, he was traced and literally frog marched by his head of year over to my dept to sort it.

He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.

We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it

I don't want to go through insurance really because it will fuck his premiums up. I mean, he's a student, I don't want to rinse him, but he needs to take some responsibility for it...The College have also told him they will be checking in to make sure he sorts it so he can't get out of it either way

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By *ed MartinMan
25 weeks ago

Shefford

"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off

Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?

He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.

We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it

That’s a small positive, but still a lot of hassle for you that you didn’t need! Hopefully the poor lad learned an important life lesson today. Fingers crossed the repair gets sorted quick!

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By *dam1971Man
25 weeks ago

Bedford

"A few times today. At work and then when someone on here sent me their photos. My instant reaction was wow, fuck me

Was it when I was at your work or when I sent you the photos?

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By *ed MartinMan
25 weeks ago

Shefford

"I’m the same as Ned., can’t remember last time I said those words in that order

Working from home I often swear at the 6 music dj’s … fuck you Lauren , fuck off mary Anne .. for fucks sake Craig "

Serves you right for being the only person in the country who listens to 6music!

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
25 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Today when I went out to my car at lunchtime and saw that someone had damaged the wing on it and just driven off

Seems eminently forgivable to me! Does your work carpark have CCTV?

He reckoned he didn't realise he knocked it, I just said that of course he knew, there would have been a bang.

We exchanged details, I'm going to get quotes to repair. The damage isn't that bad, I told him that shit happens and I was more pissed off about trying to conceal it

That’s a small positive, but still a lot of hassle for you that you didn’t need! Hopefully the poor lad learned an important life lesson today. Fingers crossed the repair gets sorted quick!"

No, I really didn't need it and hope to god he does before he does real damage to something or someone.

On his way back to College I noticed a group of his mates all stood around my car taking pictures and laughing at him, so I guess he'll be shamed over social media and chat groups

The College told me they also suggested refresher lessons and a brush up on the law and his role and responsibilities as a driver. Luckily they were supportive, many places wouldn't give a shit

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

I work on cars I use the words guck me all the time

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By *ornucopiaMan
25 weeks ago

Bexley

"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation."

Years ago I was driving to Eureka with a female colleague after work.I took a wrong turning down the M20 instead of the A20 and said "Fuck!". She said "

SaY that again, I like the way you said that, maybe we can stop somewhere and you can fuck me". Afterwards we carried on to Eureka for some more.

I should clarify that we took the first exit possible from the motorway before consumating the oath!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 10/04/24 22:44:07]

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By *yesgreenMan
25 weeks ago

north and south

"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation.

Years ago I was driving to Eureka with a female colleague after work.I took a wrong turning down the M20 instead of the A20 and said "Fuck!". She said "

SaY that again, I like the way you said that, maybe we can stop somewhere and you can fuck me". Afterwards we carried on to Eureka for some more.

I should clarify that we took the first exit possible from the motorway before consumating the oath!

"
Only in Asda at the prices

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By *ritladMan
25 weeks ago

Taunton

Work usually has me saying “for the love of fuck” at least once a day

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By *oodmessMan
25 weeks ago

yumsville

Just said it in my head reading the title of one of these gab threads, a real fuck me moment.

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By *oodmessMan
25 weeks ago

yumsville

*fab

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By *heGateKeeperMan
25 weeks ago

Stratford

Today

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By *irthandgirthMan
25 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

This morning in the squat rack when my lifting belt fell apart mid rep.

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By *ardfun10Man
25 weeks ago

banbury

Monday morning at work, he was a fucking idiot

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By *gent CoulsonMan
25 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

About 5 mins ago when the last customer still had two thirds of a pint , went out for a smoke , came back in and carried on his conversation despite being asked to drink up

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By *cLovin2Man
25 weeks ago

Reading

I can't remember saying fuck me recently, but a few days ago I was driving a female friend to her Zumba class. I took a wrong turn down a one way system on the wrong side of the park and let out the F word. She turned to me surprised and said in the 3 years we've known each other she'd never heard me use the F word.

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By *inglepringlebedsukMan
25 weeks ago

Arlesey

Pretty much daily when someone gets on my nerves.

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By *nnCeeWoman
25 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

Not sure about fuck me, but definitely FFS today, when it was incredibly noisy in the office.

And again (at least once) when trying to make a mug of coffee and the bastarding hot water machine was flashing red as it wasn't hot enough. (It keeps doing it recently and takes a few minutes to decide its not hot enough, then to boil itself agai , then to turn green so you can use it - grrrrr)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
25 weeks ago

North West

I said "fuck me" when I read my Dad's bank statements

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

When I get a wink (which I’m very much appreciative of) but the winker is the other end of the country. It’s a fuck me why can’t we be closer

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By *uctifanoWoman
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

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By *cotsman269Man
25 weeks ago

Falkirk

[Removed by poster at 11/04/24 01:13:05]

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By *cotsman269Man
25 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

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By *uctifanoWoman
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

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By *cotsman269Man
25 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

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By *uctifanoWoman
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

When I got told I chipped my bone in me foot and done bad ligament damage two weeks ago just said fuck me only my luck to the nurse she laughed

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By *cotsman269Man
25 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

Looks like you have started something

Could keep it going but fuck that !

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By *liza_13Woman
25 weeks ago

Hamilton

Tuesday during sec I said it

In normal life every day serveral times a day I work in retail

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By *uctifanoWoman
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

Looks like you have started something

Could keep it going but fuck that !"

Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post

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By *cotsman269Man
25 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

Looks like you have started something

Could keep it going but fuck that !

Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post

Ahh I will go and check it

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By *ister_EMan
25 weeks ago

Hayling Island

Broke a bone in my hand a three weeks back ago, when it got crushed at work. That was a proper "Fuck Me" moment

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By *aizyWoman
25 weeks ago

west midlands

"When I got told I chipped my bone in me foot and done bad ligament damage two weeks ago just said fuck me only my luck to the nurse she laughed "

I said for fuck's sake when I did this to my foot!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"When I got told I chipped my bone in me foot and done bad ligament damage two weeks ago just said fuck me only my luck to the nurse she laughed

I said for fuck's sake when I did this to my foot!

It was a killer when it happened

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By *sWyldWoman
25 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Work.. The exact phrase I used was "fuck me, some people really are delusional"

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By *etKatproject88Woman
25 weeks ago

Bristol

I don't think I use it out of anger/frustration. I say it when something is insanely hot. Maybe when something is a bit too much and I'm not coping.

In the bedroom I use "I need you to fuck me, NOW!"

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

When I looked at pictures of last poster

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By *adyBugs OP Woman
25 weeks ago

cognito

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

Looks like you have started something

Could keep it going but fuck that !

Hahaha I’ve posted similar in the Scottish forum, hope you don’t mind _adybugs - great post

Haha! I don’t mind in the slightest. This is brilliant

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By *aughty by nature 76Man
25 weeks ago

Walsall,Reading

I def say it out loud when things have gone wrong at work or in the bedroom when someone is riding me hard and I want them to go faster and harder x

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By *GermanInLondonMan
25 weeks ago

London

I'm my head in the mornings at the moment, when taking a shower....

Boiler is broken since the weekend

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By *ookie46Woman
25 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Yesterday

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Fuck off is my favourite saying with management at work on a Friday afternoon

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Honestly, the last woman I was with literally wanted me to lie there while she fucked me so I said "go on then, just fuck me"

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By *ilverjagMan
25 weeks ago

swansea

I believe that the time the the phrase, "Fuck me" was most famously used in history was by The Mayor of Hiroshima when he was quoted as saying, "Fuck me what was that!!!"

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By *cLovin2Man
25 weeks ago

Reading

"I don't think I use it out of anger/frustration. I say it when something is insanely hot. Maybe when something is a bit too much and I'm not coping.

In the bedroom I use "I need you to fuck me, NOW!"

Hmm my go to command for sexual activity seems to be "suck my dick".

Not to be confused with a absurd request "suck my dick". It's a confusing world out there

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By *eliWoman
25 weeks ago

About twenty minutes ago when I realised what being kissed thoroughly does to my hair and general appearance. I did wonder why people were looking at me at Picadilly station. Guess I know why now.

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By *educing_EmCouple
25 weeks ago

Tipperary

Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

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By *atchmoMan
25 weeks ago

Upminster

Yesterday lunch time having a prostate examination, and the doctor was "less than gentle" with his entry, despite the lube.

Cue the "fuck me" under my breath.

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By *ugh JerectionMan
25 weeks ago

Bolton

In my job on public transport. The phrase is on auto repeat in my mind and every now and then it comes out loud.

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By *reative-mindMan
25 weeks ago

Exeter

I spend 99% of my day alone driving about so I'd assume I've said this at least 10 to 15 times today.... at least 5 of those are at myself.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
25 weeks ago

North West

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

Missing, how can it be missing?!

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By *ong alMan
25 weeks ago

barnsley

A couple of days ago when I reversed into a very large cable drum and damaged my van

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
25 weeks ago

Leeds

No idea it'll have been at some point while having sex with the Mr.

Mrs

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By *nnCeeWoman
25 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Fuck is such a versatile world with many expressions…

Fuck me (surprise or sexual desire)

Fuck you (I’m angry with you)

Fuck sake (surprise)

Fuck off (leave me alone)

And of course the immortal Billy Connolly “Jeezuz suffering fuck” heard mostly in Glasgow and uttered when something calamitous has happened

So true !

I use it a lot… if I didn’t lord knows what would happen

Fuck knows

Brilliant … great add to the list

Looks like you have started something

Could keep it going but fuck that !"

Fuck my life!

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By *reeSpiritElleWoman
25 weeks ago

Miles of beautiful golden sand, Dorset

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

Hope you're ok. It is rare that they get dislodged but it does happen. My first Mirena coil 10 years ago had to be retrieved by the gynae team at my local hospital. Very quick procedure. All fine. And haven't had any issues since. Thankfully I'm having my current one removed soon now that I'm post menopause

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
25 weeks ago

louth

"I missed my usual turning on the motorway and swore at myself. “Fucking fuck me” under my breath in sheer exasperation."

A good driver sometimes misses their turn off whereas a bad driver never does!

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By *educing_EmCouple
25 weeks ago

Tipperary

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

Missing, how can it be missing?! "

She couldn't find it

Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down.

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By *educing_EmCouple
25 weeks ago

Tipperary

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

I'm ok just a mild panic. It was thankfully still in place.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
25 weeks ago

North West

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

Missing, how can it be missing?!

She couldn't find it

Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down."

That's reassuring! Hopefully all is okay with it/you for now

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By *educing_EmCouple
25 weeks ago

Tipperary

"Yesterday when the doctor told me my coil was missing and I could be pregnant

Missing, how can it be missing?!

She couldn't find it

Went to hospital for an Ultrasound and thankfully it was in place but the strings had just gone up instead of I down.

That's reassuring! Hopefully all is okay with it/you for now

Ya I'm good,thank you

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By *uriousscouserWoman
25 weeks ago

Wirral

I can't remember the last time I said "fuck me".

"Fucking fuckity fuck fuck" I said 10 minutes ago when my computer randomly rebooted in the middle of a call.

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