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Swinger shame

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By *ltmee OP   Man
30 weeks ago

wrexham

I've been on this site for a while now as a bi guy. I realise society is slowly becoming more acceptable of bi/gay and trans people, but what do you think it would take / when do you think people will be acceptable of the swingers lifestyle?

I'm assuming there are a lot of people that live two separate lives, which is understandable from a professional and family point of view but I'd like to see a society where swingers and/or polyamory isn't looked down on by those not understanding of the dynamics.

Maybe I'm just waffling. I dunno.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

It won't happen in my lifetime. Maybe not ever. Anything outside of traditional relationship styles takes a very long time to become acceptable

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By *CLM87Woman
30 weeks ago

Derbyshire

I don't think it ever will.. societal norm still very much dictates that you have a relationship with one person and sex is between them.

Same as the old women who sleep with multiple people are slurs.. but men are hero's.

To me.. sex and a loving relationship are two different things.

Sex is sex, something to enjoy.

Being in a relationship is so much more... but just having sex with one person for the rest of my life isn't for me.

I enjoy swinging as a couple, seeing the person I love or really like enjoying themselves with someone else while I do the same.

Enjoying sex as a single with different people, as they all bring something different to the table.

Sorry I digress, but no..

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By *afe and shavenCouple
30 weeks ago

Ipswich


"It won't happen in my lifetime. Maybe not ever. Anything outside of traditional relationship styles takes a very long time to become acceptable "
Not so sure, gay/bi activity has become so much more acceptable these days (and rightly so too) I think swinging and swapping will follow fairly soon. Fingers crossed.

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By *ynecplCouple
30 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Think it depends on the group of friends. We have one group of friends who would be shocked to know that we are swingers and probably ostracized us if they knew.

On the other hand we have another circle of friends who wouldn't bat an eyelid if we told them. In that group there are four or five same sex relationships, three people who are openly in a poly relationship and one couple who are quite open about being swingers.

You would think that we would have told this group that we are swingers yet our own self imposed social constraints has meant we have not and yes the couple who are swingers are on here and we have blocked them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex


"It won't happen in my lifetime. Maybe not ever. Anything outside of traditional relationship styles takes a very long time to become acceptable Not so sure, gay/bi activity has become so much more acceptable these days (and rightly so too) I think swinging and swapping will follow fairly soon. Fingers crossed."

I was thinking about that but gay and bi relationships are still expected to be monogomous. Until the day society and the religion keep their darn noses out of other people's relationships nothings going to change much

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By *red333Man
30 weeks ago

Dorchester

I see the future as gloryholes, you feel the urge go along to your local one and relieve that urge sorted

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By *illy IdolMan
30 weeks ago

Midlands

If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private

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By *CLM87Woman
30 weeks ago

Derbyshire


"If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private"

For me, I work in a male environment, on site and manage up to 45 lads at a time.

I wouldn't want to risk them knowing, as I personally wouldn't feel safe around some of them..

My family are also Catholic and so for obvious reasons this lifestyle is totally frowned upon.

Luckily I now live 2.5 hours away from them, so is easy to keep it secret.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex


"If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private"

I don't want to be open about any aspect of my sex life. It really isn't anybody else's business. I'm not too bothered about it being accepted by the rest of society either. I don't seek the approval of other people for what I do privately.

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By *illy IdolMan
30 weeks ago

Midlands


"If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private

I don't want to be open about any aspect of my sex life. It really isn't anybody else's business. I'm not too bothered about it being accepted by the rest of society either. I don't seek the approval of other people for what I do privately.

"

And that's fair enough

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
30 weeks ago

your head

I think attitudes are changing slowly but it really depends on who you talk to. I'm very lucky, no one in my life has an issue with the way I choose to live it. It took a little time for some of them to understand me being poly and in a poly relationship but now it's not even a question.

If people have an issue with who I am or who I date, they aren't people I want in my life.

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By *ellinever70Woman
30 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I don't think, as a society, that we need to normalise knowing the details of someone's sex life

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By *ools and the brainCouple
30 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

No I don't think it will change if anything it's destined to get worse.

THIS IS NOT A DIG .

With the Muslim population growing in this and other European countries I would say tolerance of anything not within the confinement of the religion will shrink.

OBVIOUSLY not all aspects of the religion are extreme but with attacks on women growing and the growth forecast for the future that it's not difficult to predict that crimes relating to sex and sexual orientation are bound to increase.

I'm not a fan of any religion and extremists within.

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By *afe and shavenCouple
30 weeks ago

Ipswich


"If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private

I don't want to be open about any aspect of my sex life. It really isn't anybody else's business. I'm not too bothered about it being accepted by the rest of society either. I don't seek the approval of other people for what I do privately.

"

Good points!

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By *rHotNottsMan
30 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I tend to hang out with people even more counter -culture to me so they generally know what I do and it’s not an issue. Some of them get up to far more outrageous things than ENM and BDSM.

I need to be a bit careful professionally but generally you wouldn’t discuss sex with with work colleagues anyway. My kids & close family know I don’t do regular types of relationships and are fine with it , why would they not be ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex


"If swingers embraced the lifestyle choice and were more open about it, I imagine this would speed up the acceptance from others. The majority of us hide behind faceless profiles and keep it private

I don't want to be open about any aspect of my sex life. It really isn't anybody else's business. I'm not too bothered about it being accepted by the rest of society either. I don't seek the approval of other people for what I do privately.

Good points!"

I think if you accept yourself you don't need the acceptance of other people quite so much.

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By *otswoldBiGuyMan
30 weeks ago

Stroud

I think a lot of straight couples feel threatened by the freedom that swingers enjoy, the freedom to let your partner enjoy themselves, to be bi, to try new things....so I think there will always be a lot of conventional people who dont want swinging to become "normal"! Sad fuckers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I think a lot of straight couples feel threatened by the freedom that swingers enjoy, the freedom to let your partner enjoy themselves, to be bi, to try new things....so I think there will always be a lot of conventional people who dont want swinging to become "normal"! Sad fuckers."

Is swinging 'normal'?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
30 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.


"I think a lot of straight couples feel threatened by the freedom that swingers enjoy, the freedom to let your partner enjoy themselves, to be bi, to try new things....so I think there will always be a lot of conventional people who dont want swinging to become "normal"! Sad fuckers."

Aren't vanilla people allowed to have an opinion?

Promiscuity is quite different from sexual orientation.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

According to history swinging is normal

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By *erkshire8299Man
30 weeks ago

slough

Sounds good ...one in every high street ...next to the cash machine or post office...

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By *ools and the brainCouple
30 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.


"According to history swinging is normal "

Well the Romans enjoyed a very open minded attitude unless you were unfortunate enough to be a slxve

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By *hogun300Man
30 weeks ago

Dundee


"I don't think it ever will.. societal norm still very much dictates that you have a relationship with one person and sex is between them.

Same as the old women who sleep with multiple people are slurs.. but men are hero's.

To me.. sex and a loving relationship are two different things.

Sex is sex, something to enjoy.

Being in a relationship is so much more... but just having sex with one person for the rest of my life isn't for me.

I enjoy swinging as a couple, seeing the person I love or really like enjoying themselves with someone else while I do the same.

Enjoying sex as a single with different people, as they all bring something different to the table.

Sorry I digress, but no.. "

This

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By *ltmee OP   Man
30 weeks ago

wrexham

Thanks for the replies people.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

If everyone agreed with it then it’d be a bit shit. Disapproval is cool

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By *ltmee OP   Man
30 weeks ago

wrexham


"If everyone agreed with it then it’d be a bit shit. Disapproval is cool "

Very much so.

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By *xfordjohnMan
30 weeks ago

Oxford


"It won't happen in my lifetime. Maybe not ever. Anything outside of traditional relationship styles takes a very long time to become acceptable "

I think there is real movement. I met a lot of much younger people when I worked and am still close friends with a number,and a surprising (to me) number of them are openly gay, bi, queer or/and in poly relationships. Telling them about my life has utterly failed to shock them!

So I am mildly optimistic.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I think parts may be become more acceptable quicker than others.

Poly is becoming more mainstream and I know plenty of ppl who have lived together after relationships for kids and other reasons.

Even swinging is more talked about I think. Wesy need a shades of grey breakthrough to make it mainstream.

I think that things like cuckolding and hot wifing may be a while away.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
30 weeks ago

.

I don't talk about my sex life to anyone friends/family so even it did become more mainstream it wouldn't change my life, Fuck that imagine the likes of Eastenders, coronation st etc would characters swinging on TV,

I personally like the way it is now anyway, Ads to the kick,

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Does swinging need to be socially acceptable? Just get on with what you want but know some people would see what you do as some weird depraved shit if they knew.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

I've worked with women who said they'd ask for a divorce if their husband wanted to wear women's underwear. I don't think there's much chance of them accepting swinging

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By *agnar73Man
30 weeks ago

elsewere

Maybe I’m past caring a bit.

I think a lot of folk would say ‘fair enough’ in my own circumstances.

I do have to be mindful and respectful for other people’s situations and I think within myself I’m happy keeping quiet about it.

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By *red333Man
30 weeks ago

Dorchester

I guess i don't feel ashamed that I'm on a swingers site but i guess I've had more than my fair share of the sex thing and too much of something generally brings it to a close, its been epic

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