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Shoplifting Meat

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
30 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Tom is a law abiding citizen and not fearful of tackling thieves or robbers. He saw a local lady shoplifter, dressed in spikey heels and faux leather trousers, although not relevant to the story, steal a cut of beef which was actually inside a clear plastic security box. Tom later saw her in the car park and instead of challenging her, he asked for her number and a date. Of course the lady accepted the date but Tom was stunned on their first date. She had not taken the meat to sell or feed hungry mouths. She rather liked the plastic security container to keep jewellery in and said that Tesco beef is always tough and she threw it in the bin and did not even bother cooking it Just to remind folk not to judge any book by it's cover.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I am sure you have taken some big bits of meat in your time

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By *ensuallover1000Man
30 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I have always found Waitrose beef packaging to serve as the best jewellery containers myself.

The beef itself is not bad to which is a bonus I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I wonder if Pat Butcher used said containers to store her big earrings?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
30 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I wonder if Pat Butcher used said containers to store her big earrings? "

I heard she hired a shipping crate for those bad boys

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
30 weeks ago

Beverley

Did someone once tell you that you're a funny guy?

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
30 weeks ago

St Leonards

I also like to keep my local ladies in plastic containers.

And no one judges me on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"I wonder if Pat Butcher used said containers to store her big earrings?

I heard she hired a shipping crate for those bad boys "

Lol yes under heavy guard I imagine, especially since TOWIE was created and Essex girls went mental for humongous earrings

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
30 weeks ago

in Lancashire

Sounds like bull Tom..

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
30 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"Did someone once tell you that you're a funny guy? "

Never

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"I also like to keep my local ladies in plastic containers.

And no one judges me on it."

I hope you remembered some holes in the crate so they can breath, cannot afford to lose them as there are not enough women on Fab as it is

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By *uzy750TV/TS
30 weeks ago

Luton

To a dyslexic like myself, "shoplifting meat" could easily be construed as the daring tale of a sex shop heist

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
30 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

I think people are missing the key part of the OP, hidden in the depths of the post in the shadows of inconsequential information.

‘Of course the lady accepted’, smooth Tom

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

This is what happens when meat is too deer.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"This is what happens when meat is too deer."

Sounds like the store security should be steaking out the meat isles more often

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
30 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"I think people are missing the key part of the OP, hidden in the depths of the post in the shadows of inconsequential information.

‘Of course the lady accepted’,

smooth Tom "

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By *929Man
30 weeks ago

newcastle

Haha I just noticed the steaks in the plastic security boxes at the coop next to my house thought Is this what society has come to?

I seen the local crackhead once trying to sell a wheel of cheese fuck knows where he stole it from it was first time I’ve ever seen one and haven’t seen one since

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By *agnar73Man
30 weeks ago

elsewere

Not sure if arrange a meet to go shoplifting. I mean things are a hell of a price these day, but..

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By *alcon77Man
30 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

I don't understand a single word of this story..

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
30 weeks ago

St Leonards


"I also like to keep my local ladies in plastic containers.

And no one judges me on it.

I hope you remembered some holes in the crate so they can breath, cannot afford to lose them as there are not enough women on Fab as it is"

Ooops...knew I'd gone wrong somewhere.

So-rrrr-y....

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"I don't understand a single word of this story.."

It's just another bloke trying to get a meat.

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By *rHotNottsMan
30 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

So I heard this phrase when I was back in the uk recently in a local pub it was a conversation specifically about Tesco

Big chain, free reign

I was surprised at how common food stealing now is

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By *batMan
30 weeks ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"…..,, although not relevant to the story, ……."

But why don’t you put this in ALL your posts????

What’s happening here?

Gbat

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By *londebiguyMan
30 weeks ago

Southport


"Tom is a law abiding citizen and not fearful of tackling thieves or robbers. He saw a local lady shoplifter, dressed in spikey heels and faux leather trousers, although not relevant to the story, steal a cut of beef which was actually inside a clear plastic security box. Tom later saw her in the car park and instead of challenging her, he asked for her number and a date. Of course the lady accepted the date but Tom was stunned on their first date. She had not taken the meat to sell or feed hungry mouths. She rather liked the plastic security container to keep jewellery in and said that Tesco beef is always tough and she threw it in the bin and did not even bother cooking it Just to remind folk not to judge any book by it's cover."

Tom really does write some absolute shite.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
30 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"Tom is a law abiding citizen and not fearful of tackling thieves or robbers. He saw a local lady shoplifter, dressed in spikey heels and faux leather trousers, although not relevant to the story, steal a cut of beef which was actually inside a clear plastic security box. Tom later saw her in the car park and instead of challenging her, he asked for her number and a date. Of course the lady accepted the date but Tom was stunned on their first date. She had not taken the meat to sell or feed hungry mouths. She rather liked the plastic security container to keep jewellery in and said that Tesco beef is always tough and she threw it in the bin and did not even bother cooking it Just to remind folk not to judge any book by it's cover.

Tom really does write some absolute shite."

You only just noticed

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
30 weeks ago

Reading

She still stole it though!!

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By *arla SwingerWoman
30 weeks ago

Somewhere

Last summer a guy came over to me in a pub and offered to sell me some bottles of vodka. Complete with security magnets still on.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"Last summer a guy came over to me in a pub and offered to sell me some bottles of vodka. Complete with security magnets still on. "

Apologies I did try to get the magnets off but I have no nails

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By *arla SwingerWoman
30 weeks ago

Somewhere


"Last summer a guy came over to me in a pub and offered to sell me some bottles of vodka. Complete with security magnets still on.

Apologies I did try to get the magnets off but I have no nails "

Apparently a magnet against the magnet will do it?... Fuck knows?! But I left him to hawk his bargain booze elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"Last summer a guy came over to me in a pub and offered to sell me some bottles of vodka. Complete with security magnets still on.

Apologies I did try to get the magnets off but I have no nails

Apparently a magnet against the magnet will do it?... Fuck knows?! But I left him to hawk his bargain booze elsewhere "

Thanks for the inside info

* Heads to Tesco with a magnet *

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By *heGateKeeperMan
30 weeks ago

Stratford

Mrs Misty Peaks do you have an alibi for the evening in question ?

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By *ilbopMan
30 weeks ago

mids

[Removed by poster at 08/04/24 22:40:24]

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By *icolerobbieCouple
30 weeks ago

walsall

I’m guessing that this wasn’t all over the moos Tom?

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"I’m guessing that this wasn’t all over the moos Tom?"

I believe he is taking another very large piece of meat

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By *ot to giggleWoman
30 weeks ago

Coventry


"I also like to keep my local ladies in plastic containers.

And no one judges me on it.

I hope you remembered some holes in the crate so they can breath, cannot afford to lose them as there are not enough women on Fab as it is"

have you got locks on the boxes

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago


"I also like to keep my local ladies in plastic containers.

And no one judges me on it.

I hope you remembered some holes in the crate so they can breath, cannot afford to lose them as there are not enough women on Fab as it is

have you got locks on the boxes "

Sounds kinky

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By *ood time Chris BMan
30 weeks ago

TAUNTON AREA


"This is what happens when meat is too deer.

Sounds like the store security should be steaking out the meat isles more often"

At least Tom didn't mince his words

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
30 weeks ago

Chelmsford


"This is what happens when meat is too deer.

Sounds like the store security should be steaking out the meat isles more often

At least Tom didn't mince his words "

We see what you did there...

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