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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea

Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Exactly or those who say they only like cocks on a man but are not otherwise attracted to the man, would not kiss them etc, insist they are therefore straight.

The problem is you have some well meaning people on here who try to comfort them and tell them what they want to hear, no labels etc, keeps them in a constant state of delusion and denial.

It is only on Fab I have seen this never anywhere else online or in real life. Honesty is the best policy folks, help people accept what they are

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By *hrimper36Couple
25 weeks ago

Central France dept 36


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."

T

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
25 weeks ago

southampton


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."

At 5'6" I think you've woken up "Grumpy".

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By *uzy750TV/TS
25 weeks ago

Luton


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."

Well it's an interesting point that raises interesting questions.

I 100% agree if a man says they're straight but includes TV, then they're clearly not straight but bi/bi curious.

If a man describes themselves as straight and looks for TS (trans), then I'd argue they should be applauded, and those who claim they're bi/bi curious are the problem. Because they are the ones who are refusing to accept the TS person as a transfemale, but instead insist they're male.

So in my case I'm forced by Fab to describe myself as TV/TS. I also describe myself as straight because I seek men.

If you consider a post-op TS as part of the LGBT community by default, then you'd claim her love making with her boyfriend is homosexual behaviour. This is in effect a denial of her born transfemale humanity.

Being TS is not a form of extreme TV and unrelated to TG. Despite what Stonewall argue.

Being TV/TG is no lesser thing. But are seperate to TS. If a TV male has sex with females then they are straight. If they have sex with men then they are gay/bi. Of course being TV may not have any connection with their sexuality, but from my personal experience of that community it seems TV is part of some males sexuality. That is its an example of their male gender expression. All perfectly fine and normal.

I suspect for SOME males, those who are sexually TV or those "straight" males who seek out TV, the act is a way to rationalise homosexual urges which they cannot at first mentally accept due to internal homophobia. A result of their social upbringing.

So in reality the issue for me is the terms heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual. These are socially constructed classifications created with the adoption of Abrahamic theology.

For example, Alexander the Great is now considered bisexual. Yet, in his day, he was just a man making love to those he loved. As everybody else did. It was the adoption of Abrahamic theology and the outlawing of male same sex relationships, that created the terms straight, homosexual and bisexual. Created the sin of homosexuality and the resulting homophobia within individuals and society.

Prior to that, there were no labels. Nobody cared. People just made love to who they loved, free from state/church induced judgement.

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By *obandruthCouple
25 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Absolutely spot on we won't be fooled.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."

So who does it matter to then?

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

So who does it matter to then?

"

It matters to a lot of people on this site judging by previous threads, always a good discussion to be had

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

25 weeks ago

East Sussex

I wish everyone could just put what or who they'd like to meet and have done with it. If I see that someone has listed men or TS/TV on their profile it tells me or anyone all they need to know regardless of whether they define themselves as straight, bi or bi-curious.

What I don't like is meeting someone and discovering they have a separate profile where they define themselves differently.

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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea


"Exactly or those who say they only like cocks on a man but are not otherwise attracted to the man, would not kiss them etc, insist they are therefore straight.

The problem is you have some well meaning people on here who try to comfort them and tell them what they want to hear, no labels etc, keeps them in a constant state of delusion and denial.

It is only on Fab I have seen this never anywhere else online or in real life. Honesty is the best policy folks, help people accept what they are "

I agree but also ,I can see the point of wanting cock but not fancying the men .

I dress fully for sex only ,I'm bi as I love cock and getting fucked ,I ev3n kiss,but as for fancying men ,not for me ,women only .

I seem to cut out the guy in my head ,it's like a character but out of it as me ,not a slightest attraction to men .

So I understand that argument ,but they're still bi

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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

At 5'6" I think you've woken up "Grumpy".

"

What a pointless comment lol

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By *issmorganWoman
25 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"I wish everyone could just put what or who they'd like to meet and have done with it. If I see that someone has listed men or TS/TV on their profile it tells me or anyone all they need to know regardless of whether they define themselves as straight, bi or bi-curious.

What I don't like is meeting someone and discovering they have a separate profile where they define themselves differently.

"

I get this and agree with it, be honest.

I know people keep saying why label things, but labels are useful as long as they're used in a nice way and not to be derogatory.

People chop and change I think depending on who they're trying to attract.

If you want to play with people of the same sex be honest about that, saying one thing and then doing another is deceptive.

I said it on the other thread, when my partner and I chat to couples and they're listed as straight, then it becomes clear later that they're after ff play.

It's wasting time and its not for us,why do it when there's so many other couples who have a bi fem.

My other half can be orally bi with the right people, he doesn't directly seek it out, but we've listed him as bi curious because we want to be upfront.

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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

So who does it matter to then?

"

No-one ,it just goes in the category of the ones who say they can't accom and can't travel lol

But to some women it does matter

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By *hrimper36Couple
25 weeks ago

Central France dept 36


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

People who choose not to meet bi men then!!

T

So who does it matter to then?

"

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By *onameyet2Man
25 weeks ago

chorley

From a sex point of view why don’t we get rid of the labels on here and use the preferences and description areas to describe what we want ?

In the wider world there is much to discuss around sexuality, LGBT, pronouns etc but it’s getting a tad boring on here,

Just my opinion

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By *loomsburyMan
25 weeks ago

central london

People can describe themselves however they want. Nobody is under any obligation to use descriptive terms that suit others.

Read a profile and if you have an issue with it move on. It’s none of your business.

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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea


"People can describe themselves however they want. Nobody is under any obligation to use descriptive terms that suit others.

Read a profile and if you have an issue with it move on. It’s none of your business. "

But you read a profile that says they want women ,couples and TV/TS and they are straight and there profile as no mention of wanting any gay sex ,yet they want TV,s and even mail and wink you ,just a bit wrong .

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"But you read a profile that says they want women ,couples and TV/TS and they are straight and there profile as no mention of wanting any gay sex ,yet they want TV,s and even mail and wink you ,just a bit wrong ."

I agree and ironically they tend to be more homophobic than genuinely straight men (even on traditionally gay app Grindr they now flood into!), whilst they themselves are having gay sex even though they are trying to convince themselves it is not.

More so, it is disappointing some TVs entertain those men, I guess getting cock is more important than the principle of the thing. If I sense an ounce of hypocrisy like this I send them on their way. Or others that say ‘I do not meet gay men, bi only’. They get sent on their way too. I value principle above cock no matter how fit the owner is

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled .

So who does it matter to then?

It matters to a lot of people on this site judging by previous threads, always a good discussion to be had "

The discussions are great. But I’ve always found some questions to be very specific the a persons view.

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By *agnar73Man
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

I don’t include tv ts on preferences so does that help?

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By *loomsburyMan
25 weeks ago

central london


"People can describe themselves however they want. Nobody is under any obligation to use descriptive terms that suit others.

Read a profile and if you have an issue with it move on. It’s none of your business.

But you read a profile that says they want women ,couples and TV/TS and they are straight and there profile as no mention of wanting any gay sex ,yet they want TV,s and even mail and wink you ,just a bit wrong ."

Wrong on your terms, so move on.

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By *luvnylonstockings OP   TV/TS
25 weeks ago

southsea


"But you read a profile that says they want women ,couples and TV/TS and they are straight and there profile as no mention of wanting any gay sex ,yet they want TV,s and even mail and wink you ,just a bit wrong .

I agree and ironically they tend to be more homophobic than genuinely straight men (even on traditionally gay app Grindr they now flood into!), whilst they themselves are having gay sex even though they are trying to convince themselves it is not.

More so, it is disappointing some TVs entertain those men, I guess getting cock is more important than the principle of the thing. If I sense an ounce of hypocrisy like this I send them on their way. Or others that say ‘I do not meet gay men, bi only’. They get sent on their way too. I value principle above cock no matter how fit the owner is "

If they have straight on the profile I point it out and give them a body swerve

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By *irthandgirthMan
25 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."

Have you considered that not everyone may be looking for penetrative sex? There are people on here seeking social connections that revolve around aspects of sex and/or kink.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

This almost religious zealotry over how other people define themselves is so gross, and it's almost always laced with prejudice (the target du jour at the moment being trans women).

You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to, but these constant threads telling trans women that they're men and/or straight men that they're gay/bi for fucking them, it's just clearly intended to attack them until they conform, and it's gross.

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By *loomsburyMan
25 weeks ago

central london


"This almost religious zealotry over how other people define themselves is so gross, and it's almost always laced with prejudice (the target du jour at the moment being trans women).

You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to, but these constant threads telling trans women that they're men and/or straight men that they're gay/bi for fucking them, it's just clearly intended to attack them until they conform, and it's gross."

Best answer is, don’t conform. It’s also great fun winding up the twats who think that a few ticked boxes and a handful of short sentences on a profile must define a persons sex life.

Totally unacceptable for soneone to see some pictures or read something and think, you know what, i fancy a bit of that !!

Oh no, i can’t, i never ticked the fucking box.

Utterly pathetic.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
25 weeks ago

Home


"Not that I care less ,but if you include,TV/trans in your preferences then your clearly not straight and minimum bi curious,saying no single men but including tvs/trans ,still doesn't mean your straight and ladies who dont want bi men won't be fooled ."
are you saying trans women aren't really women so

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
25 weeks ago

Pontypool


"This almost religious zealotry over how other people define themselves is so gross, and it's almost always laced with prejudice (the target du jour at the moment being trans women).

You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to, but these constant threads telling trans women that they're men and/or straight men that they're gay/bi for fucking them, it's just clearly intended to attack them until they conform, and it's gross."

^^^^ THIS ^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"This almost religious zealotry over how other people define themselves is so gross, and it's almost always laced with prejudice (the target du jour at the moment being trans women).

You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to, but these constant threads telling trans women that they're men and/or straight men that they're gay/bi for fucking them, it's just clearly intended to attack them until they conform, and it's gross."

A transvestite or cross dresser is not a woman. It is nice you have the back of real trans though, but several of us noticed your undercurrent of prejudice against bi/ gay men the other day. Stop being holier than thou unless you are actually holier than thou

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By *ora the explorerWoman
25 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"This almost religious zealotry over how other people define themselves is so gross, and it's almost always laced with prejudice (the target du jour at the moment being trans women).

You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to, but these constant threads telling trans women that they're men and/or straight men that they're gay/bi for fucking them, it's just clearly intended to attack them until they conform, and it's gross."

To be fair most of the threads have been asking the question to people and asking their opinions. Not exactly “telling”’people what they should identify as. So they should lie when they answer if their opinion doesn’t agree with yours?

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Right I am not woke but I am going to shove a woke card in woke people’s faces right now.

There are woke people on this site that are happy to eradicate gay and bi men - it seems the only group where it is acceptable to take away the label from all angles is gay and bi men.

You do not hear people taking away label and identity from any race, ethnicity, sex, religion, age, trans but when it comes to gay/ bi men the labels are withdrawn.

Some do it with good intentions but they are not only keeping individuals in a constant state of delusion and denial, but actually harming us by trying to reduce our numbers AND inadvertently stigmatising us further as though there us something so wrong with being gay or bi you cannot wear the label.

Another consequence is a lot of those men in delusion and denial are so ashamed or hateful of their true sexuality, fired up by people on here, that they can actually be homophobic.

They want to believe so hard that they are straight or at least close, as they only go for femme appearing males with a cock, that they actually feel they have to ‘prove’ they are straight.

This materialises as aggression and attitude to gay/ bi men not just on here but it is now rampant on traditionally gay apps. It is only last few years this bizarre situation has started. Myself and loads of others have noticed this on gay apps now from self-hating confused men fed the notion they are ‘straight’.

Again I am not woke or a flag waver but so many on this site moralise and throw a woke card around that I am pointing out the consequences of you helping to keep endless men in delusion and denial. You are doing more harm than good.

If you want to help those men, tell them the truth, tell them to accept what they are and feel no shame. They are either on the bi spectrum (which is big) or fully gay. Just tell them the truth and there is nothing wrong with it. Life is too short to live a lie and in delusion, embrace it. It does not mean shout it from the rooftops and wave a flag, but just ACCEPT for yourselves what you are

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By *loomsburyMan
25 weeks ago

central london


"Right I am not woke but I am going to shove a woke card in woke people’s faces right now.

There are woke people on this site that are happy to eradicate gay and bi men - it seems the only group where it is acceptable to take away the label from all angles is gay and bi men.

You do not hear people taking away label and identity from any race, ethnicity, sex, religion, age, trans but when it comes to gay/ bi men the labels are withdrawn.

Some do it with good intentions but they are not only keeping individuals in a constant state of delusion and denial, but actually harming us by trying to reduce our numbers AND inadvertently stigmatising us further as though there us something so wrong with being gay or bi you cannot wear the label.

Another consequence is a lot of those men in delusion and denial are so ashamed or hateful of their true sexuality, fired up by people on here, that they can actually be homophobic.

They want to believe so hard that they are straight or at least close, as they only go for femme appearing males with a cock, that they actually feel they have to ‘prove’ they are straight.

This materialises as aggression and attitude to gay/ bi men not just on here but it is now rampant on traditionally gay apps. It is only last few years this bizarre situation has started. Myself and loads of others have noticed this on gay apps now from self-hating confused men fed the notion they are ‘straight’.

Again I am not woke or a flag waver but so many on this site moralise and throw a woke card around that I am pointing out the consequences of you helping to keep endless men in delusion and denial. You are doing more harm than good.

If you want to help those men, tell them the truth, tell them to accept what they are and feel no shame. They are either on the bi spectrum (which is big) or fully gay. Just tell them the truth and there is nothing wrong with it. Life is too short to live a lie and in delusion, embrace it. It does not mean shout it from the rooftops and wave a flag, but just ACCEPT for yourselves what you are "

In my view there is a very common misconception here. There are large numbers of people around who describe themselves as straight, not because they are deluded and in denial but simply because being predominantly straight is actually what they are. It’s how they live their lives and are happy with it. A bit of alternative sex doesn’t define them. They have no desire to change their lives in any way because of it.

Being approached on here by guy who describes himself as straight is of no concern or importance whatsoever to me. It’s simply what someone fancies here and now.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"In my view there is a very common misconception here. There are large numbers of people around who describe themselves as straight, not because they are deluded and in denial but simply because being predominantly straight is actually what they are. It’s how they live their lives and are happy with it. A bit of alternative sex doesn’t define them. They have no desire to change their lives in any way because of it.

Being approached on here by guy who describes himself as straight is of no concern or importance whatsoever to me. It’s simply what someone fancies here and now."

Living an outwardly straight conventional life and having ‘mainly’ straight sex does not mean they are straight, they are on the bi spectrum as a minimum.

A vegetarian that sometimes eats meat but otherwise mainly sticks to plants and outwardly to those around them are vegetarian, does not mean they are vegetarian if they still eat a bit of meat even if sometimes.

I will say though, other-whelmingly men on here fall into the denial and delusion camp rather than how you described

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

People don’t want to identify as being Bi or Gay because the media, for some reason, has decided to portray bi/gay men as Ru Paul’s Drag Race stars, Fashionista’s, gay best friends, or blue haired kylie loving extroverts.

So, a lot of bi men are going to continue to keep part of themselves secret until the world accepts that men can be bi/gay, without being a stereotype.

We’ve definitely gone backwards in the last 10 years. We should stop pushing old fashioned stereotypes.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"People don’t want to identify as being Bi or Gay because the media, for some reason, has decided to portray bi/gay men as Ru Paul’s Drag Race stars, Fashionista’s, gay best friends, or blue haired kylie loving extroverts.

So, a lot of bi men are going to continue to keep part of themselves secret until the world accepts that men can be bi/gay, without being a stereotype.

We’ve definitely gone backwards in the last 10 years. We should stop pushing old fashioned stereotypes."

Spot on. I have found this slip backwards has coincided with the big gender spectrum push, we are all lumped in together under the alphabet spaghetti and worse, now they are trying to lump us under one catch word ‘queer’. I have also found the more femme/ camp gay/ bi have become even more militant along with the gender spectrum push, trying to reinforce a delusion that gay men cannot be masculine when a hell of a lot are and many of us are not a stereotype. It is why so many masculine gay men like me have become even more distant from gay venues and many apps

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By *antwinjoininnMan
25 weeks ago

Cardiff

Personally I will only meet convincing trans, those that are lady like and glamorous as it is the feminine look that attracts me and not attracted to a male look. If I am attracted then I am down for whatever and I would consider myself straight forgive me if that is wrong

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By *loomsburyMan
25 weeks ago

central london


"In my view there is a very common misconception here. There are large numbers of people around who describe themselves as straight, not because they are deluded and in denial but simply because being predominantly straight is actually what they are. It’s how they live their lives and are happy with it. A bit of alternative sex doesn’t define them. They have no desire to change their lives in any way because of it.

Being approached on here by guy who describes himself as straight is of no concern or importance whatsoever to me. It’s simply what someone fancies here and now.

Living an outwardly straight conventional life and having ‘mainly’ straight sex does not mean they are straight, they are on the bi spectrum as a minimum.

A vegetarian that sometimes eats meat but otherwise mainly sticks to plants and outwardly to those around them are vegetarian, does not mean they are vegetarian if they still eat a bit of meat even if sometimes.

I will say though, other-whelmingly men on here fall into the denial and delusion camp rather than how you described

"

Really. Sounds as though you are trying to convince yourself that every man who ever touched a cock is secretly wanting to turn their lives upside down because of it.

My guess is that that belief is miles wide of the mark.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago


"Really. Sounds as though you are trying to convince yourself that every man who ever touched a cock is secretly wanting to turn their lives upside down because of it.

My guess is that that belief is miles wide of the mark. "

That is a bit of an odd response. If a man touched a cock as a one-off act of bicuriosity but it was not for him after all and never fantasised or did it again, that can still be a straight guy for sure. I myself have been through bicurious phases for women but not acted on it.

However, if a guy is fantasising about cocks and keeps having sexual encounters he really is not straight.

Now more importantly, why would it turn someones life upside down? I never said be a flag waver and shout it from the rooftops, but accept for yourself what you actually are.

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