FabSwingers.com forum: Separate beds

By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

I'm in a long-term committed partnership but one thing I've always hated is sharing the same bedroom.

This is purely for practical reasons. I like light, sound and movement and white noise while I sleep. I move around in bed constantly, get up 5x a night to use the WC and then spend 30 minutes on 2 phones.

My partner likes a dark, airless, coffin-like bedroom and he doesn't move from his side of the bed. He falls asleep easily and snores. I lie awake in dread.

I'm a firm believer in separate bedrooms for this reason. It doesn't mean I don't love my partner. It just means we have different needs for an ideal sleeping environment.

Thoughts, anyone?

BTW, I rarely share a bed with my lovers for more than a few hours for that very reason. I don't like sharing my bed. My sleep patterns are atrocious and having strangers in bed just adds to the stress.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Yep I agree think the share same bed it's ok for some but not for everyone I sleep better alone!

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By *ornucopiaMan
30 weeks ago

Bexley

I blame whoever thought up the euphemism

"Sleeping with..."

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
30 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We love to cuddle, drape a leg over each other and generally maintain contact.

It’s not for everyone we realise but we wouldn’t ever want separate beds.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

It's been that long I could never fall asleep with another person in my bed.

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By *r PantyMan
30 weeks ago

Morpeth

I sleep much better on my Jack Jones but still also like to wake up and grab handful of tit or snatch, so for me it's a bit of a trade off - sleep vs snatch

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
30 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

[Removed by poster at 07/04/24 21:58:43]

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
30 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

I hate sleeping next to people and do my upmost to avoid it.

I’ve also noticed that if I *sleep* sleep with someone then I’m more likely to have feels when I wake up, and no one wants that. Oxytocin must be stronger when you sleep

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By *dam1971Man
30 weeks ago

Bedford

I like sleeping with someone, I’m probably not having sex unless I like you so drifting off and waking up are a good thing.

OP, your situation sounds quite unusual, separate rooms seems very sensible.

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By *hiteWitchXXXWoman
30 weeks ago

North Wales

I couldn’t bare to sleep in the same bed with another

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By *aracd69TV/TS
30 weeks ago

ivybridge

Im sleeping in separate beds tonight as i just split we her and cant move out yet, so i will be looking for some fun very soon

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
30 weeks ago

Maidstone

Jeez I can see why you and your partner want separate rooms

Personally I like the closeness of sharing a bed with someone. It's one of the things I miss sometimes. I also love having the whole bed to myself so I'm in no hurry to fill up the other half of the bed with someone full time

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By *eliWoman
30 weeks ago

In the nicest way OP you sound something of a nightmare to share a bed with.

I like sharing a bed with my fiancé. It's comforting, even if he's up early or I am there's something about those five minutes of extra snuggling before the day begins. I tend not to for more than a few hours with lovers, quite happy separate beds. They'd have to be someone I feel very relaxed with to want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I need to be alone to have a decent sleep. I’m a light sleeper and have skin issues so need a quiet and cool room. The thought of sharing my bed gives me the ick. Not to mention the sweating, snoring and farting throughout the night and waking up to morning breath lol

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

"I'm in a long-term committed partnership but one thing I've always hated is sharing the same bedroom.

My partner likes a dark, airless, coffin-like bedroom and he doesn't move from his side of the bed. He falls asleep easily and snores. I lie awake in dread.

I'm a firm believer in separate bedrooms for this reason. It doesn't mean I don't love my partner. It just means we have different needs for an ideal sleeping environment.

Thoughts, anyone?

I can sure mentalise with this

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Gosh my lovers we never have time for sleep then we both wake up randy as we started...

Sleeping with a stranger.. No. He can leave or gets own room.

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By *dam1971Man
30 weeks ago

Bedford

"I need to be alone to have a decent sleep. I’m a light sleeper and have skin issues so need a quiet and cool room. The thought of sharing my bed gives me the ick. Not to mention the sweating, snoring and farting throughout the night and waking up to morning breath lol"

I’m sure your sweating, snoring and farting isn’t that bad

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By *929Man
30 weeks ago

newcastle

I remember my uncle Rob and aunty brenda had separate rooms ever since I was a kid my uncles room was like a kids it had one wall completely shelved hour with his telly, radio, computer ect all laid out his air rifle collection in the corner ect it was great haha

I’d not mind either way but since the ex left the dog has claimed her side so while he’s alive on the off chance I did meet someone it would have to be seperate rooms

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By *rispyDuckMan
30 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Totally get what you mean OP

My Ex had claws on her toes and was a cuddle I’m not lol. When I’m sleeping I want to sleep not cuddle, worse in summer when it’s hot already & body heat

. My suggestion get a King size bed & ear plugs haha.

My aunt & uncle did the separate rooms thing for similar reasons. Turns out got lonely after a while not sleeping in same bed/room & both cheated on each other now divorced

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
30 weeks ago

Lymington

I can't stand it when they breathe on you or too close to your face so you feel like you're just inhaling their expelled CO2

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
30 weeks ago

Lymington

That being said, I do enjoy being the big spoon and feeling my cock being squeezed between the buttocks as it swells.

To then slipping it inside from behind as you grasp the waist in a middle of the night romp...

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
30 weeks ago

Bristol

My partner and I gave up on sharing a room around 8 years ago.

Never looked back. If you can you should.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

First world problems but we had numerous bedrooms in the house I own.

We would sleep together in the ‘marital’ room we would entertainer others in another room and I would also take myself off to another room if we wanted to just enjoy having a glass of wine and reading a book in solace…

I think it’s actually a great thing to just sleep apart as a matter of as they ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
30 weeks ago

Central

I love close affection in bed but adore dark, quiet and space

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By *ayHaychMan
30 weeks ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

I think having a bedroom each is a great idea. The best nights sleeps for me, are the ones alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I'm not bothered either way.

I like sharing a bed with someone, but as someone else mentioned, if they have claws on their fingers and toes I'd be less than enthused.

Limbs entangled, spooning, etc. It's rather lovely.

So long as it's not that hot.

My worst trait, is I really prefer to sleep on top of the covers. I hate feeling claustrophobic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

Interesting responses so far.

I was thinking specifically about the very wealthy or aristocrats who sleep in separate bedrooms. I can see the appeal. Plus, as someone who was forced to share a bed with siblings growing up and having spent my 20s in blissful independence in my own bed/apartment, sharing a bed is a bit of a challenge.

Yes, of course we have a king sized bed. Yes, we do cuddle and Yes, I enjoy silly things like when he tucks me in bed or scratches my back *purr* so it's not a situation where we're strict about separate beds.

Besides, he travels a lot for work and gets up at odd hours to catch trains every week so it suits him sometimes to have his own sleep/workspace.

He's the only person I've ever cuddled with. It was a sore point with a lot of ex lovers. They seemed to take exception to be booted outta bed soon after sex, especially the really clingy guys who'd spend 10 minutes having sex then felt entitled to spend 90 minutes afterwards telling me their problems. I don't mind it from my regular lovers as it's always nice to catch up after a hot lunchtime fuck, but the ones still living with their mammies are the ones I get annoyed with.

Now... hotel sex.. that's different.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I’m sure your sweating, snoring and farting isn’t that bad

Not sure anyone should risk it though

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/24 18:51:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

"I'm in a long-term committed partnership but one thing I've always hated is sharing the same bedroom.

My partner likes a dark, airless, coffin-like bedroom and he doesn't move from his side of the bed. He falls asleep easily and snores. I lie awake in dread.

I'm a firm believer in separate bedrooms for this reason. It doesn't mean I don't love my partner. It just means we have different needs for an ideal sleeping environment.

Thoughts, anyone?

So why are you asking us? Do you need advice or opinions on how to change it? Because you’ve just told us, why are you do it.

….*what are you asking us?

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By *ansoffateMan
30 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

If it works for you then that's all that matters really. I think for me it'd feel like quite a significant element was missing, if it was the norm rather than the exception.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
30 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I would definitely have to do this if I ever lived with someone. Plus there's only room for me and the cats on my bed.

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By *alandNitaCouple
30 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

We have very different sleep patterns but I find it much harder to sleep when Cal isn't in bed with me.

I do understand that sleeping separately works for some. My parents have separate beds in the same room because of my mums health problems and also sleep in separate rooms at times.

Nita

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By *adCherriesCouple
30 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Honestly, if we had enough rooms it would be separate. Mr has REM even though it's not often, waking up to him screaming about a stranger at the end of the bed, scares me shitless and his night terrors were he has thrown a lamp or lifted drawers has made me have a mini heart attack.

Mrs

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
30 weeks ago

wonderland.

"We love to cuddle, drape a leg over each other and generally maintain contact.

It’s not for everyone we realise but we wouldn’t ever want separate beds."

.this for us as well. Even though we don't yet live together. I sleep terribly but when we are together I sleep loads better.

Like you we tend to make contact a lot, even if its just hands or legs touching x

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By *erekpMan
30 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

When I share a bed am off and on sleeping

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By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

"I'm in a long-term committed partnership but one thing I've always hated is sharing the same bedroom.

My partner likes a dark, airless, coffin-like bedroom and he doesn't move from his side of the bed. He falls asleep easily and snores. I lie awake in dread.

I'm a firm believer in separate bedrooms for this reason. It doesn't mean I don't love my partner. It just means we have different needs for an ideal sleeping environment.

Thoughts, anyone?

So why are you asking us? Do you need advice or opinions on how to change it? Because you’ve just told us, why are you do it.

….*what are you asking us?"

Curiosity. I'm nosy about other people's sleeping arrangements. Turns out I'm not the only one who likes hogging the bed and who farts, snores, and moves around in bed in my sleep!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/24 22:44:04]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

"Honestly, if we had enough rooms it would be separate. Mr has REM even though it's not often, waking up to him screaming about a stranger at the end of the bed, scares me shitless and his night terrors were he has thrown a lamp or lifted drawers has made me have a mini heart attack.

Mrs

Mrs "

I'm so sorry. Maybe see a sleep specialist?

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By *naswingdressWoman
30 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I can share on the rare occasion that the opportunity rises. But noises bother me and I struggle to get to sleep.

Also for the love of all that is holy, do not touch me while I'm trying to sleep. It's not you it's me, whatever, just no touchy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
30 weeks ago

"I can share on the rare occasion that the opportunity rises. But noises bother me and I struggle to get to sleep.

Also for the love of all that is holy, do not touch me while I'm trying to sleep. It's not you it's me, whatever, just no touchy."

Thus. .

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By *adyBugsWoman
30 weeks ago

cognito

I genuinely cannot remember the last time someone was in my bed. It’s been years!

I probably couldn’t sleep with someone all night every night now. Same as I’m not sure I could live with someone I’m in a relationship with again.

Lucky for me no one wants to be in my bed or in a relationship with me

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By *cLovin2Man
30 weeks ago

Reading

Mrs

Mrs "

With my ex wife, I got married years ago, I had never slept with her before marriage, no one from her family told me that the women in their family, sleepwalk.

So one day in the middle of the night my wife at the time sits up in bed in some kind of weird stupor, scared the shit out of me. Wtf did I just marry? laughed about it afterwards.

I do like a cuddle in bed, tho a lady I see sometimes has a habit of shoving her arse at me. (I don't mind that bit tbh) But she shunts me to the edge of the bed. Worse part is it's my bed! Bed hogger.

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By *iss DevilWoman
30 weeks ago

Bedford

Me and my partner, we don't live together but we spend weekends together. Same as you, OP, we like different environments for sleeping, as well I can fidget a lot and he likes to sleep on his front, taking a lot of room. What we do, we go to sleep together, then at some point at night he gets up and goes to the other bedroom to sleep. If he wakes up first, he comes to my bed in the morning to wake me up. It works for us.

On a different note, OP - have you been tested for sleep apnea or sleep disorders, by any chance? If not, might be worth it.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
30 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

I can’t imagine sharing my bed to sleep now. 7 years I’ve been starfishing and it’s pure bliss! Great sex, a cuddle and maybe a snack then bugger off please.

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