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ADHD and swinging.

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By *erfectlychaotic OP   Woman
33 weeks ago

Aldershot

As an adult with late diagnosed ADHD I find that sometimes when it comes to swinging my ADHD can either be a blessing or a curse and it can vary really quickly and its a bit like being blindfolded on a roller coaster not always able to predict what may happen.

Interested to hear how others with ADHD find it and also what it's like for those without ADHD and their experiences of playing with people with ADHD.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
33 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

No official diagnosis. But...

Waiting mode probably drives B mad - we're at a social or club at 7pm? Don't expect me to be able to do anything useful all day

I can get huge anxiety in the build up to things and find the environment overwhelming especially if the music is too loud.

J

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By *erfectlychaotic OP   Woman
33 weeks ago

Aldershot


"No official diagnosis. But...

Waiting mode probably drives B mad - we're at a social or club at 7pm? Don't expect me to be able to do anything useful all day

I can get huge anxiety in the build up to things and find the environment overwhelming especially if the music is too loud.

J"

Completely get you with the waiting mode. Even more so when you desperately want to be productive but you just can't.

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By *eroLondonMan
33 weeks ago

Covent Garden

In the five years or so that I've been on Fab the ·significant· majority (but not all) of women with whom I've met, imbibed, socialised or played have been those with neurodevelopmental traits. I can't explain or fathom it.

A learned friend on Fab (a neurodivergent) opines that my profile somehow inexplicably attracts those that harbour such 'disorders' (I hate that word).

I'm do not have ADHD or anything similar (I'm neurotypical) but my experiences with 'neurodivergents' have been all positive. Although I'll admit that in some cases that positive experience has required much accommodating in empathy, 'wide-berth giving' and understanding on my part to invest in that person. But it's always been worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

I know more about autism than ADHD. There have been some recent neurodivergent threads on here though, you will see a few people who posted including those with ADHD if you want to reach out to those individuals

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
33 weeks ago

Essex

I have a theory in its infancy about swinging and ASD. Specifically ADHD.

I have ADHD and I think it’s part of why I enjoy the lifestyle & find myself needing certain things.

Generally I find swinging/poly good for my ADHD. But things like changed plans, people being untruthful, loud clubs etc can be a struggle.

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

.

I'm neurospicy but not ADHD flavour.

In terms of the "swinging

/poly scene" (I really don't like that term but trying to go with it), I've found far more ND people than I've expected - including those with ADHD. It's easier for me to talk to those who are because... I don't need to explain myself. Have to keep on explaining certain things. I also struggle with half lies, lies whatever. My ND friends it's reassuringly straight forward.

One particular social it's fantastic because I don't need to worry about masking, they're a fairly liberal open minded bunch of weirdos and it's great. They accommodate for quiet time, check about being hugged etc.

In terms of having sex with them? I embrace the chaos. One date involved us kissing heavily and the next he was playing the piano and getting me to sing along. And then he wanted to...

Anyway. It's far more supportive, enjoyable and just, I guess, better than you'd imagine at first.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
33 weeks ago

Manchester

I have no formal diagnosis but I'm pretty sure I have ADHD (I've taken an online test and spoken to a counsellor with ADHD experience who advised I should see my GP for an assessment).

I've never thought about how it impacts on my sex life specifically although thinking about it, it probably explains why I want different relaxed experiences without strings with different people, and can only imagine seriously dating someone I am *very* into - another form of hyperfocus I suppose.

Anxiety probably has more impact on the way I use the site and how I (usually don't) approach people on here.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
33 weeks ago

Manchester


"I'm neurospicy but not ADHD flavour.

In terms of the "swinging

/poly scene" (I really don't like that term but trying to go with it), I've found far more ND people than I've expected - including those with ADHD. It's easier for me to talk to those who are because... I don't need to explain myself. Have to keep on explaining certain things. I also struggle with half lies, lies whatever. My ND friends it's reassuringly straight forward.

One particular social it's fantastic because I don't need to worry about masking, they're a fairly liberal open minded bunch of weirdos and it's great. They accommodate for quiet time, check about being hugged etc.

In terms of having sex with them? I embrace the chaos. One date involved us kissing heavily and the next he was playing the piano and getting me to sing along. And then he wanted to...

Anyway. It's far more supportive, enjoyable and just, I guess, better than you'd imagine at first.

"

'An open-minded bunch of weirdos' - there's the new Fab tag-line.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
33 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

I don't know if I ever unmask fully anywhere anymore. I am so used to telling my brain not to interrupt and then losing track of what I actually wanted to say by the time there's a gap in the conversation.

J

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By *eyond PurityCouple
33 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

We’ve met quite a number of ND people and they’ve all been positive experiences.

They are lively, they enjoy the fun and their unpredictability is a positive (granted it would probably annoy me long term ) but they have been the life and soul of the party. They’ve also been up for exploring a lot; I guess it feeds their need for news things to entertain.

Not had much experience of the down sides but we have very much enjoyed our time with ND people.

K

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

.


"

'An open-minded bunch of weirdos' - there's the new Fab tag-line. "

It wishes. Open-minded?

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By *ootyfruityCouple
33 weeks ago

andover

AuDHD here

It’s great and have had some amazing experiences, although a couple times the clubs have been a bit much when it’s been crazy busy

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By *asha86Couple
33 weeks ago

walsall

Im so glad I've seen this thread! So i (Mr) have adhd and as time goes on there are more and more people on the scene that are becoming more open about it and i think its brilliant! Im lucky the friendship group we have on the scene accept me for who i am and dont judge. I was asked about medication for it and it was something im totally against for myself as i feel i wouldnt be myself any more.

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By *viatrixWoman
33 weeks ago

Redhill

Since my mother died in 2022 and I very nearly flew off the handle with my feelings, I have self-taught myself to regulate them and that has helped me a lot in the swinging world. I used to get attached very easily and be clingy, etc- not hearing from someone I’d met, even just hours later would send me into a frenzy

But just like physical trainjng, I trained my brain to regulate those feelings and become more detached with success.

I am still crap at replying to messages. I reply to them in my head and that’s it

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
33 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

It seems most people on fab are neuro atypical, which makes sense as hyper sexuality can be a feature and also relationships can be hard to maintain!

Personally I find it makes managing the worlds biggest inbox with the least support features (why no search option??) a nightmare. I loose people I’m interested in all the time because my adhd brain has moved on and forgets to reply, or we are chatting happily but then they drop out of emails I can see and I can’t search for their profile because all I can remember is what the profile pic looked like.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
33 weeks ago

Essex


"It seems most people on fab are neuro atypical, which makes sense as hyper sexuality can be a feature and also relationships can be hard to maintain!

Personally I find it makes managing the worlds biggest inbox with the least support features (why no search option??) a nightmare. I loose people I’m interested in all the time because my adhd brain has moved on and forgets to reply, or we are chatting happily but then they drop out of emails I can see and I can’t search for their profile because all I can remember is what the profile pic looked like. "

Yes!!! I do this all the time.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Central


"It seems most people on fab are neuro atypical, which makes sense as hyper sexuality can be a feature and also relationships can be hard to maintain!

Personally I find it makes managing the worlds biggest inbox with the least support features (why no search option??) a nightmare. I loose people I’m interested in all the time because my adhd brain has moved on and forgets to reply, or we are chatting happily but then they drop out of emails I can see and I can’t search for their profile because all I can remember is what the profile pic looked like. "

This sums up my experience and feelings, so well.

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By *ecretSearcherMan
33 weeks ago

Reading

I'm diagnosed dyslexic, but as my son has been diagnosed ASD and ADHD it becomes very apparent I have very similar traits.

I find it hard meeting people for the first time as the internal monologue is constantly telling me I'm going to say something wrong and upset someone. Clubs are hard, but fun once I've had the to settle and adjust to the sensory inputs (audio, visual, and other )

The hardest thing by far though is sending initial messages.

I have previously started messaging you OP, but the internal monologue kicks in and tells me it's all rubbish and I hit back. This is probably the most open message I've ever written.

#fabtherapy

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By *ake_or_deathMan
33 weeks ago

Manchester


"

'An open-minded bunch of weirdos' - there's the new Fab tag-line.

It wishes. Open-minded? "

Well...maybe it could be aspirational rather than factual?

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

ADHD diagnosed early in life, lucky I suppose, personally always struggle with the digital communication thing, much better in person but it’s getting to that point in the first place, love it though, live the excitement if all goes to plan but really struggle with last minute changes etc then there’s the most ignore messages thing, gets tiresome

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By *iAbbyTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 16/06/24 23:19:52]

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
22 weeks ago

somewhere

I've retired from the swinging side of the lifestyle because I have attachment issues and become way to "obsessed" (undiagnosed ADHD and autism) with it all, going to a club? I can go to one but I'm anxious most of the day leading up to it, when I'm there I don't want to be there, can't talk to anyone unless I know them, I get bored very easily and then we make a beeline for the door (Rubik is also adhd, great pair we are), he has a habit of over sharing when at a social or a club (I'm just sat there, looking like a spare part as I'm uncomfortable most of the time lol) and find most people find an excuse to leave!

I've always known I have little quirks and apparently it's no surprise to people that know me that my counsellor picked up on all this and suggested I get tested, why didn't anyone tell me?!

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By *asha86Couple
22 weeks ago

walsall


"I have a theory in its infancy about swinging and ASD. Specifically ADHD.

I have ADHD and I think it’s part of why I enjoy the lifestyle & find myself needing certain things.

Generally I find swinging/poly good for my ADHD. But things like changed plans, people being untruthful, loud clubs etc can be a struggle. "

This comment is something I totally agree with x

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By *asha86Couple
22 weeks ago

walsall


"I'm diagnosed dyslexic, but as my son has been diagnosed ASD and ADHD it becomes very apparent I have very similar traits.

I find it hard meeting people for the first time as the internal monologue is constantly telling me I'm going to say something wrong and upset someone. Clubs are hard, but fun once I've had the to settle and adjust to the sensory inputs (audio, visual, and other )

The hardest thing by far though is sending initial messages.

I have previously started messaging you OP, but the internal monologue kicks in and tells me it's all rubbish and I hit back. This is probably the most open message I've ever written.

#fabtherapy"

I can understand totally about saying the wrong thing as I try to over compensate with talking for instance once there were 9 of us in a room and Mr adhd over here over compensated with talking untill I made everyone laugh that much my face was pushed into someone's crotch to get me to shut up

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By *hawn ScottMan
22 weeks ago

london Brixton

I had a very supportive partner and gave me a lot of confidence.

But in reality self medication lowered my inhabitions. Not excusing it just telling the truth

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By *cnugatugMan
22 weeks ago

Chatham

Was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 13 and still to this day it has a dramatic effect on my life I'm constantly loosing focus and wanting something else my mind is always so loud with the many voices it contains after 23 years of living with it I still can't control it add/adhd isn't easy

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By *edphoenix666Couple
18 weeks ago

Cheshire

I resonate strongly with this post. I am very much in the same position. It's great to find a thread dedicated to this topic.

Phoenix x

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By *edphoenix666Couple
18 weeks ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 14/07/24 21:59:34]

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By *weetCherryWoman
18 weeks ago

London

My RSD side of ADHD is kicking my ass hard at present, I have not been able to bring myself to meet for the last 15 months

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By *edphoenix666Couple
18 weeks ago

Cheshire

I hear you on that level! I loose interest quickly if someone isn't flirty.

Phoenix x

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By *asterMeliodasMan
18 weeks ago

Newmill


"My RSD side of ADHD is kicking my ass hard at present, I have not been able to bring myself to meet for the last 15 months "

I know the RSD feeling all too well. Sorry to hear you're struggling with it.

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By *hawn ScottMan
18 weeks ago

london Brixton

I keep on fiddling cos I takes me ritalin, I'm popping and sailing man!

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By *ansoffateMan
18 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

It's a difficult one, especially having a late-diagnosis. It's been tough getting my head around it, after losing my partner. Realising my shifting focus would be something that she would compensate for. Its a bit like having strings missing from my bow at times.

I've found I have to accept that it will clash with some people's expectations. I do try to work on it, but the reality is that it just gets overwhelming. And then I start dropping the ball elsewhere in life, where I can't really afford to.

ADHD can make basic adulting administration a nightmare, I find.

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By *arkSovereignMan
18 weeks ago

Lancashire

I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
18 weeks ago

Ryde

Try autism and swinging. Jesus H. Christ, that's a bastard to work around!

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By *ell GwynnWoman
18 weeks ago

North Yorkshire


"Try autism and swinging. Jesus H. Christ, that's a bastard to work around!"

Hard relate

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By *asterMeliodasMan
18 weeks ago

Newmill


"I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone. "

I don't have an official diagnosis (and was told at the doctor's appointment where I asked about it that there's nothing NHS Scotland can do to test for it...) but pretty much everyone who knows me could be knocked over with a feather if it were ever established that I don't have ADHD.

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By *edphoenix666Couple
18 weeks ago

Cheshire


"

'An open-minded bunch of weirdos' - there's the new Fab tag-line.

It wishes. Open-minded?

Well...maybe it could be aspirational rather than factual? "

Love this!

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By *hawn ScottMan
18 weeks ago

london Brixton


"I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone.

I don't have an official diagnosis (and was told at the doctor's appointment where I asked about it that there's nothing NHS Scotland can do to test for it...) but pretty much everyone who knows me could be knocked over with a feather if it were ever established that I don't have ADHD."

Won't get much help on the NHS, I paid and went private but it was worth it. Meds cost £90 a month though

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By *arkSovereignMan
18 weeks ago

Lancashire


"I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone.

I don't have an official diagnosis (and was told at the doctor's appointment where I asked about it that there's nothing NHS Scotland can do to test for it...) but pretty much everyone who knows me could be knocked over with a feather if it were ever established that I don't have ADHD."

I got diagnosed very young, I must’ve only been 8 or 9 years old. In the current climate of the NHS, the waiting times for tests for diagnose autism and ADHD or even a consultation are ridiculous whereas it was a bit more straightforward when I was younger. I think if you know you have ADHD, then use online resources to find ways to manage it. Thats exactly what I do. I don’t take any medication for it at all!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
18 weeks ago

Central


"I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone.

I don't have an official diagnosis (and was told at the doctor's appointment where I asked about it that there's nothing NHS Scotland can do to test for it...) but pretty much everyone who knows me could be knocked over with a feather if it were ever established that I don't have ADHD.

Won't get much help on the NHS, I paid and went private but it was worth it. Meds cost £90 a month though"

Have you not managed to get the NHS to take over responsibility for your prescriptions?

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By *hawn ScottMan
18 weeks ago

london Brixton


"I never thought I’d see a thread about ADHD on here. I have ADHD so can completely resonate with whats been said so far by everyone.

I don't have an official diagnosis (and was told at the doctor's appointment where I asked about it that there's nothing NHS Scotland can do to test for it...) but pretty much everyone who knows me could be knocked over with a feather if it were ever established that I don't have ADHD.

Won't get much help on the NHS, I paid and went private but it was worth it. Meds cost £90 a month though

Have you not managed to get the NHS to take over responsibility for your prescriptions? "

No Ritalin is now class B drug which means and can't be prescribed by a GP only and private specialist. Same as Xanex

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By *tiffspartanMan
18 weeks ago

horley

So glad I’ve seen this

What a shout ! X

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By *m272Woman
18 weeks ago

London


"Try autism and swinging. Jesus H. Christ, that's a bastard to work around!

Hard relate "

Agreed lol. The reason for this is that sex is a very demanding thing for an autistic person. It is the ultimate form of social interaction with another human being.

Autistics often find conversations with people a challenge so you can imagine how difficult something as intimate as sex can be.

Then there is the massive sensory overload, all the different sounds and smells and things that are felt

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By *hat.coupleCouple
18 weeks ago

Dartford

Mrs here, I have ADHD too. It can be tricky swinging with ADHD mostly because of the rejection dysphoria. I like to go to clubs as it's easier to meet people face to face for me, I can read thier faces and body language in person. When I arrive at a club I need to have a sit down and take in the atmosphere and read the room of you like. I love a bit of people watching, it helps me feel more comfortable and identify who I like or who may like us.

I did a post the other day on here talking about ADHD and swinging, it seems that there are a lot of nuerospicy ladies in particular in the lifestyle. I can come across a bit eager and be a little too impulsive having constantly being told to calm down as a kid I always tend to mask a lot while in a club, of course this leads to burnout and vegetating in bed the next day for most of the day.

Some people are very hard to read and I struggle to workout whether they are interested in us or not, but most of the time I can tell quite quickly x

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By *cnugatugMan
18 weeks ago

Chatham

Hope my fellow ADHDers are well today

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By *ellaluaWoman
18 weeks ago

Camberley

I was diagnosed a year ago and it's been a blessing to finally understand why I feel and do things that aren't necessarily the social norm.

I've met lots of other ND people on here which in itself is so comforting and it's amazing how we find eachother instinctively without realising it.

The difficulties I have within the Fab world are overwhelm at events and sometimes, during or after play and I'll need some quiet time to reset.

RSD can be difficult at times especially if I'm hormonal.

Staying focused when talking to someone or within a group of people when there's music or other conversations going on close by.

Craving sex! I have to really be careful that I don't get impulsive at times.

Burnout is also an issue. I'm all or nothing and that's difficult for me and others at times.

Oversharing....

I love fab though, it's great for exploring sexually and meeting so many lovely inclusive people.

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By *ea monkeyMan
18 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

There seems to be an odd convergence of swingers that are ND (Neuro diverse). It might be to do with the dopamine mining or the slightly obtuse nature of how things work? I’m not sure.

What I do know is that a lot of my friends and people that I encounter are on the spectrum somewhere. Does it make any difference? Not really. Most ND folks have developed high levels of coping mechanisms by this point in our lives and it’s nice to not have to mask if I meet someone that’s also ND.

I dare say that I kind of prefer to meet ND folks but that’s just because we have another thing in common. Neuro typical folks are still great and wonderful

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By *otsossieMan
18 weeks ago

local, but not too local

I don’t have a piece of paper, but ND friends who do say I am “one of theirs”.

I just usually mask it well in public.

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By *cnugatugMan
18 weeks ago

Chatham

I'm not neuro diverse I suffer with attention deficit disorder I know what I have and have live with it for over 20 years saying Im neuro diverse is only confusing me because I know what I have

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By *otsossieMan
18 weeks ago

local, but not too local

ADHD, ADD, Autism etc are all “flavours” of Neurodiversity and given they’re all spectrums and can be present together it is often easier to use the bucket term.

I’ve a relative who is ADHD, Autist, and bi-polar for example. Bless ‘im.

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By *CExeCouple
18 weeks ago

Lincoln/Exeter

Bipolar here, and almost certainly some strong neurodivergent traits. The hypersexuality element of bipolar certainly has an impact on play.

Chels is an HSP (simply watching 24 hours in A&E will make her cry) which has had issues around playing too. The hugely kinky side will occasionally meet the highly sensitive side and they don't mix well lol.

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By *CExeCouple
18 weeks ago

Lincoln/Exeter

Bipolar here, and almost certainly some strong neurodivergent traits. The hypersexuality element of bipolar certainly has an impact on play.

Chels is an HSP (simply watching 24 hours in A&E will make her cry) which has had issues around playing too. The hugely kinky side will occasionally meet the highly sensitive side and they don't mix well lol.

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By *carlettxWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex

Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago


"No official diagnosis. But...

Waiting mode probably drives B mad - we're at a social or club at 7pm? Don't expect me to be able to do anything useful all day

I can get huge anxiety in the build up to things and find the environment overwhelming especially if the music is too loud.

J

Completely get you with the waiting mode. Even more so when you desperately want to be productive but you just can't."

Neurospicy here, and this hits real hard. 🖤

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By *ornyHikerGuyMan
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again "

Totally relate to this, sometimes it can be so stimulating and but then other times it’s the devil!

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By *carlettxWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again

Totally relate to this, sometimes it can be so stimulating and but then other times it’s the devil! "

100%

I love clubs but will stress on the day all day about it. Won’t sit still , just mind running overtime about it

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By *ornyHikerGuyMan
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again

Totally relate to this, sometimes it can be so stimulating and but then other times it’s the devil!

100%

I love clubs but will stress on the day all day about it. Won’t sit still , just mind running overtime about it "

And then I talk myself out of it when I become so overwhelmed. Obviously going alone heightens this so hiking is such a cure or atleast a time out. Nature is a serotonin boost!

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By *carlettxWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again

Totally relate to this, sometimes it can be so stimulating and but then other times it’s the devil!

100%

I love clubs but will stress on the day all day about it. Won’t sit still , just mind running overtime about it

And then I talk myself out of it when I become so overwhelmed. Obviously going alone heightens this so hiking is such a cure or atleast a time out. Nature is a serotonin boost! "

That’s very true

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By *ackformore100Man
10 weeks ago

Tin town

I have a question. Seems this thread is very friendly and supportive so hope you don't mind if I go a little off piste. Being diagnosed and or being diagnosed as an adult. Does that help in any way? Or are the coping mechanisms the same weather you are diagnosed or remain undiagnosed?

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By *carlettxWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex


"I have a question. Seems this thread is very friendly and supportive so hope you don't mind if I go a little off piste. Being diagnosed and or being diagnosed as an adult. Does that help in any way? Or are the coping mechanisms the same weather you are diagnosed or remain undiagnosed? "

For he it simply put all the missing jigsaw puzzle in to place

So many aspects of my life made sense and it’s helped me to find ways of dealing with areas that I just thought I was rubbish with

Gave me a bit of inner peace

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By *ackformore100Man
10 weeks ago

Tin town


"I have a question. Seems this thread is very friendly and supportive so hope you don't mind if I go a little off piste. Being diagnosed and or being diagnosed as an adult. Does that help in any way? Or are the coping mechanisms the same weather you are diagnosed or remain undiagnosed?

For he it simply put all the missing jigsaw puzzle in to place

So many aspects of my life made sense and it’s helped me to find ways of dealing with areas that I just thought I was rubbish with

Gave me a bit of inner peace "

So in your case, very worth while finding out? And how do you find out is it. A matter of going to your gp and asking for an assessment?

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By *carlettxWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex


"I have a question. Seems this thread is very friendly and supportive so hope you don't mind if I go a little off piste. Being diagnosed and or being diagnosed as an adult. Does that help in any way? Or are the coping mechanisms the same weather you are diagnosed or remain undiagnosed?

For he it simply put all the missing jigsaw puzzle in to place

So many aspects of my life made sense and it’s helped me to find ways of dealing with areas that I just thought I was rubbish with

Gave me a bit of inner peace

So in your case, very worth while finding out? And how do you find out is it. A matter of going to your gp and asking for an assessment? "

Yes your GP will help

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By *ootyfruityCouple
10 weeks ago

andover

Diagnosed AuDHD here ✋

What you describe just sounds like a normal day!

I just spend extra time to ensure the hand emoji I just used was the right hand and not the left 😂

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
10 weeks ago

Leamington Spa


"As an adult with late diagnosed ADHD I find that sometimes when it comes to swinging my ADHD can either be a blessing or a curse and it can vary really quickly and its a bit like being blindfolded on a roller coaster not always able to predict what may happen.

Interested to hear how others with ADHD find it and also what it's like for those without ADHD and their experiences of playing with people with ADHD."

Carla here. Was diagnosed with adhd this year.. I find it both a blessing and a hindrance. Sometimes I find if we get guests here i feel that if they aren't entertaining me enough I get very quickly bored and going onto fab trying to find someone else whilst they're here 🙈

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By *rHotNottsMan
10 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Most people who post on forums are ND. I think a lot of them don’t yet realise too, it’s extremely common

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By *ubikslongswordMan
10 weeks ago

East Grinstead


"No official diagnosis. But...

Waiting mode probably drives B mad - we're at a social or club at 7pm? Don't expect me to be able to do anything useful all day

I can get huge anxiety in the build up to things and find the environment overwhelming especially if the music is too loud.

J

Completely get you with the waiting mode. Even more so when you desperately want to be productive but you just can't."

I hate waiting mode, the fact that because I gave something at 7 I can't do anything all day bugs the hell out of me.

I also hate executive dysfunction, I try to explain it to others as, I see the cup that needs to be moved, I know it needs to be moved, I know I'll feel better once it's moved, but I just can't do it.

I struggle to stay focused and often forget to message people.

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"As an adult with late diagnosed ADHD I find that sometimes when it comes to swinging my ADHD can either be a blessing or a curse and it can vary really quickly and its a bit like being blindfolded on a roller coaster not always able to predict what may happen.

Interested to hear how others with ADHD find it and also what it's like for those without ADHD and their experiences of playing with people with ADHD."

I’m exploring this topic myself

I’m convinced i have ADHD and it’s been responsible for my need and desires for casual sex

I’ve always wanted to think my brain was wired for kink and now I know why.

As you say this is a blessing and a curse especially if your in a relationship with someone else

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"I have a theory in its infancy about swinging and ASD. Specifically ADHD.

I have ADHD and I think it’s part of why I enjoy the lifestyle & find myself needing certain things.

Generally I find swinging/poly good for my ADHD. But things like changed plans, people being untruthful, loud clubs etc can be a struggle. "

100% agreed 👍

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"I was diagnosed a year ago and it's been a blessing to finally understand why I feel and do things that aren't necessarily the social norm.

I've met lots of other ND people on here which in itself is so comforting and it's amazing how we find eachother instinctively without realising it.

The difficulties I have within the Fab world are overwhelm at events and sometimes, during or after play and I'll need some quiet time to reset.

RSD can be difficult at times especially if I'm hormonal.

Staying focused when talking to someone or within a group of people when there's music or other conversations going on close by.

Craving sex! I have to really be careful that I don't get impulsive at times.

Burnout is also an issue. I'm all or nothing and that's difficult for me and others at times.

Oversharing....

I love fab though, it's great for exploring sexually and meeting so many lovely inclusive people."

200% me

Just can’t kick fab kink habbit from my life

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again "

200% me too

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"Recently diagnosed ADHDr and it’s a definite dopermine fix but sometimes it’s all too overwhelming

Hence why i leave and come back again

Totally relate to this, sometimes it can be so stimulating and but then other times it’s the devil!

100%

I love clubs but will stress on the day all day about it. Won’t sit still , just mind running overtime about it "

Can’t do clubs too busy

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"I have a question. Seems this thread is very friendly and supportive so hope you don't mind if I go a little off piste. Being diagnosed and or being diagnosed as an adult. Does that help in any way? Or are the coping mechanisms the same weather you are diagnosed or remain undiagnosed?

For he it simply put all the missing jigsaw puzzle in to place

So many aspects of my life made sense and it’s helped me to find ways of dealing with areas that I just thought I was rubbish with

Gave me a bit of inner peace "

200% for me it was like a light shining on my life events and why I got drawn on to fab

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire

Thank goodness I found this thread

I’ll add some more text later as I have so much to share about adhd and fab addition

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By *agic johnsonMan
3 weeks ago

morden

I have terrible ADHD ,sometimes it manifests with double messaging coz my fucking brain screams you didn't type everything you wanted to say lol

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By *aui.Man
3 weeks ago

around here

Honestly, it seems to me that a high percentage of swingers or at least people on fab are ND. Or maybe it's because I attract/seek out others similar to myself.

I think it affects my sex life in pretty much the same way as it affects the rest of my life. The sex itself is pretty amazing, creative and generally a massive release of dopamine. I do have huge issues with maintaining longer term relationships though, for various reasons.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
3 weeks ago

Colchester

Neurodiverse (wave!).

I only meet or play with other ND people, because they're my tribe and they make sense to me. I don't feel comfortable around neurotypical folks, because I struggle to relate or understand them.

That's not to say I can't be thrown by an ND comment, but I'm more likely to understand where it comes from and why. NT comments are another language entirely.

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By *oStringsOnMe89Man
3 weeks ago

Plymouth

100% agree with this, Dopamine by a lull and boredom to only return again.

Can be extremely addictive at times.

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By *viatrixWoman
3 weeks ago

Redhill


"100% agree with this, Dopamine by a lull and boredom to only return again.

Can be extremely addictive at times. "

When the dopamine hits don’t hit the way they used to… (natural dopamine I hasten to add lol)

The mix of ADHD and peri/menopause has hit me like a Shinkansen at top speed. Especially with anxiety-social anxiety etc

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By *isntacrowdMan
3 weeks ago

Devonshire


"100% agree with this, Dopamine by a lull and boredom to only return again.

Can be extremely addictive at times. "

Hey there can you please message me about this post?

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