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"I do think the ts/tv category is to vague, someone who identifies as a gender but trapped in the body of a different gender, I believe is different to someone who occasionally dresses as the opposite sex for sexual gratification. I do not oppose or discriminate against how anyone would chose to identify, however I do believe there are differences that makes the category to vague" It is very overarching, but it is at least a first step if someone has a preference for it.. splitting it into TS and TV would be more accurate. | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." ^^^^^This 100% Very well put and as the poster said I hope that you don’t take offense op. T | |||
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"Unfortunately the category is basically the only option for non cis. I have transmasculine friends who have been listed as men for years, including before their lower surgery, and just made it clear on their profile. Unfortunately people are a lot more reactive to a surprise penis than a surprise vagina. And some asshole will always report if you mention having a penis on a female profile. Regardless of how relevant it is to what you're actually presenting as or interested in doing sexually." Yep, there’s always someone that can’t help sticking their nose in. I think the genitalia should be mentioned to someone prior to a meet if they are listed as male or female but have opposing genitals, it does matter to some, to me it doesn’t | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." Just seen your response, very intelligent, balanced and accurate | |||
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"Trans women are women and OP should be allowed to choose the category that is true for her. OP - I can understand that this must have been really painful. I tried to DM you but your profile is hidden. Please DM us if you’d like to. Fab is way way behind the times with its gender categories. You should be able to pick “woman” and my partner Max should be able to pick “non-binary”. Sending lots of love, from one woman to another. Dee x" Your first statement is a subjective truth, as opposed to an objective truth that a trans woman may have a penis. In any relationship, the opinions, beliefs and truths of both parties should hold equal value. If one party tries to assert that their truth is more valid, or tries to negate the other person's truth then I would hold that is morally and ethically disingenuous. Any steps that improve informed consent are a positive. | |||
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"As a trans woman of some 15 years I have no issue being marked as TS My profile has been immensely popular in interactions just like my female friends profiles. So I don’t see it as a negative using the TS mark on here . On a hook up site like this I don’t think it really matters and stealth meeting is dangerous as a trans if you are fortunate enough to be more or less visually undectable " This goes back to informed consent. You are very open with your profile so potential partners can make appropriate choices. | |||
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"As a trans woman of some 15 years I have no issue being marked as TS My profile has been immensely popular in interactions just like my female friends profiles. So I don’t see it as a negative using the TS mark on here . On a hook up site like this I don’t think it really matters and stealth meeting is dangerous as a trans if you are fortunate enough to be more or less visually undectable This goes back to informed consent. You are very open with your profile so potential partners can make appropriate choices. " In real life out and about I just function as a woman in society as no one has ever questioned / asked. Though with things like dating / sex meets being up front is key Like on a night out with friends guys chat to me / try flirt but as I have no intentions of going with them I don’t need to divulge and out myself in that instance. If someone was getting along with me and I felt like yeah perhaps could be fun I’ll drop in politely I am trans .. see what they say . | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." nicely put - its just boxes - trying to work out who is who can be a nightmare - if they widen the boxes they need to put single - married or single, single - | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." | |||
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"Trans women are and have been on here as "women" so if you've had your profile changed then it is at least inconsistent. I can think of a few quite prominent examples so hopefully you can send a message to the admins and they'll eventually change it back (it does tend to take an egregiously long time). The threat of violence against women in "the wrong category" is not a good argument for forcing trans women out of the "women" category. People have all sorts of surprises and profiles/conversations exist for this purpose, and violence is consistently used to get women to submit/conform in various ways. This reason is as unacceptable as any other. If you know a man like this, make sure women and the police are informed about them, and just generally do the right thing let's not police women to avoid "triggering" them." If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities. | |||
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"Trans women are and have been on here as "women" so if you've had your profile changed then it is at least inconsistent. I can think of a few quite prominent examples so hopefully you can send a message to the admins and they'll eventually change it back (it does tend to take an egregiously long time). The threat of violence against women in "the wrong category" is not a good argument for forcing trans women out of the "women" category. People have all sorts of surprises and profiles/conversations exist for this purpose, and violence is consistently used to get women to submit/conform in various ways. This reason is as unacceptable as any other. If you know a man like this, make sure women and the police are informed about them, and just generally do the right thing let's not police women to avoid "triggering" them." No one sand agrees violence should be acceptable and no one here is saying it should be in these scenarios. However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not? | |||
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"However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?" If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category? | |||
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"However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not? If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category?" It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans? | |||
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"However, is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not? If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category?" We are not talking here about individuals who reveal on their profile they have genitals for the opposite sex they are presenting as, this is about many that do not reveal it. So for those who do not reveal it, do you agree this is unfair on genuinely heterosexual and fully gay men? | |||
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"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities." Right, but it's centring the responsibility on the (potential) victim, isn't it. Same category as "skirt was too short", "walking home alone at night", etc etc. "She had it coming" is the logical corollary. The focus should be on stopping violence against women who don't conform to the norms these violent people are trying to enforce, not discouraging women from transgressing those norms for fear of violence. | |||
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"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?" Are they not women? | |||
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"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans? Are they not women?" Are they not trans? Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search? | |||
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"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans? Are they not women? Are they not trans? Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search?" That isn't a search term, and some TV/TS don't have penises because it's just a catch-all category. In fact, some trans women start off with a penis, then don't have one. But changing your profile's "gender" is hard - and if you have verifications, impossible. So should they start a new profile after they don't have a penis? Why? Yes they are trans. Yes they are women. So, they should be welcome to choose either category. The categories are shit and we're all just trying to make it work. | |||
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"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans? Are they not women?" In a word , no | |||
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"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans? Are they not women? Are they not trans? Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search? That isn't a search term, and some TV/TS don't have penises because it's just a catch-all category. In fact, some trans women start off with a penis, then don't have one. But changing your profile's "gender" is hard - and if you have verifications, impossible. So should they start a new profile after they don't have a penis? Why? Yes they are trans. Yes they are women. So, they should be welcome to choose either category. The categories are shit and we're all just trying to make it work." I didn’t say it was a search term. I said if someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search. And yes I agree there should be more categories as there are big differences between TV/TS/CD. I think the answer is more trans categories. | |||
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"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys? " Is it categorised differently to here is what I meant? | |||
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"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys? " No only men or TS/ TV. Rank site though, I never last on there. | |||
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"Third time lucky I hope for an answer. It is not unfair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?" The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right. What the fuck is a "genuine heterosexual", where do I get certified for that, and why would it matter. Or a "fully gay man", why is that not genuine? Why would a genuine lesbian or a questioning bisexual not want a say in which genitals they play with? What does this question have to do with the thread anyway, nobody is trying to present anyone with "unexpected genitals", and if they were then they could easily trick the category placement, which doesn't categorise genitals anyway. "Would it be unfair for ANYONE to be presented with genitals, in person, that they were not expecting?" Yes. Sure. Nobody really said otherwise. Putting women that disclose they have a penis (or, men that disclose they have a vagina) into the TV/TS category doesn't affect that one single bit. Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? | |||
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"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys? No only men or TS/ TV. Rank site though, I never last on there." I guess that can be seen as discriminatory too then if people are seeing this site’s categories as unfair. There must be plenty trans on there who identify as women. | |||
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"Third time lucky I hope for an answer. It is not unfair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not? The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right. What the fuck is a "genuine heterosexual", where do I get certified for that, and why would it matter. Or a "fully gay man", why is that not genuine? Why would a genuine lesbian or a questioning bisexual not want a say in which genitals they play with? What does this question have to do with the thread anyway, nobody is trying to present anyone with "unexpected genitals", and if they were then they could easily trick the category placement, which doesn't categorise genitals anyway. "Would it be unfair for ANYONE to be presented with genitals, in person, that they were not expecting?" Yes. Sure. Nobody really said otherwise. Putting women that disclose they have a penis (or, men that disclose they have a vagina) into the TV/TS category doesn't affect that one single bit. Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?" It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. " Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?" Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand " Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?" I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? | |||
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"I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?" So you're saying that you've landed up in bed with a man, who turned out to have a vagina, and they hadn't disclosed this until you were having sex with them? That seems like a very awkward situation, yeh. Seems like it would have been prudent to tell you up-front. I can't imagine any trans people not disclosing that, mostly for fear of rejection at the worst moment. I didn't have the capacity to be in denial of that because I didn't know it had happened. I've heard of it happening in bars in other countries, where there is a language barrier (not so much a "trick" as a misunderstanding). I.. still don't see how this is relevant to the thread, of course. But thanks for sharing your experience. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?" Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. | |||
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"I'm wondering if other Transwomen have signed up to fab, and have started their profile in the 'Women' category, only to find at some point there profile has been changed to another category, thus misgendering them. I have started that way, in the past, only to have that happen to me, and it is very upsetting, knowing that a transphobic coward has most likely reported me, and those that have changed my profile, because I identify, live, and express being female, and other Transwomens profiles, and fab admin don't have any issue changing it without prior notification. I'm a TransWoman who is on hormones, and have natural tits. I identify, live, and express myself as a Woman, everyday of my life. My pronouns are She and Her. I have always been upfront about my Transition in my profile, I never show pictures of my penis due to the fact I don't have penetrative sex, and have pictures on my profile that no one would ever question my feminity if the had not known prior, however to no avail. I would like it if I'm welcomed to Fab, and find interesting Fabbers to connect with, preferably being recognised like any Cisgender Woman would, and people who are open minded make the choice for themselves. However, biases like this really don't help those who are diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria at all, and make you feel unaccepted. There are a few profiles of pre-op Transwomen that are out there, that have been awhile on fab, which then makes me wonder do other factors play into why some profiles are changed or not, in addition to Transphobia(i.e. racial bias(of reporter, admin), sexuality(whether a Trans Woman is sexually attracted to a specific gender, namely Women), whether you have had meets or not to confirm you, whether you show your certain anatomy or not(i.e. breasts, penis), etc), that affect these decisions. Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did it make you feel when it happened? Do you think fab could do more to make the site more inclusive for Transwomen and Transmen(i.e. subcategories of the main binary genders, etc)? Any experiences shared would be most appreciated. Cheers for reading." I'm sorry that you have been misgendered. I can only imagine how distressing that has been for you. I'm sure you already know this, but you could contact the site owners and use the Equality Act 2010 to change you back to the correct gender. I hope you get it changed back, and good luck. | |||
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"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities. Right, but it's centring the responsibility on the (potential) victim, isn't it. Same category as "skirt was too short", "walking home alone at night", etc etc. "She had it coming" is the logical corollary. The focus should be on stopping violence against women who don't conform to the norms these violent people are trying to enforce, not discouraging women from transgressing those norms for fear of violence." That's a bullshit comparison. You cannot compare dressing provocatively to deliberately misleading someone as to your genitalia when entering into a sexual encounter. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it." I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen." But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? | |||
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" I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen." Did the catfish have TV/TS as their descriptor? | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? " The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed." My thoughts exactly! | |||
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"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it." Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite. Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen." You've proven my point there. A man catfished you. A cisgender man. Not a trans woman. And you're offering this as evidence to back up the position that trans people are trying to trick people into sex. It's like saying "a white person stole my car, which proves that black people are thieves" | |||
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"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite. Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else." I've landed myself on the forum naughty step for calling out hate on a number of occasions, so I guess I can see why people don't engage any more. Funny how the people that screech loudest about their free speech and right to an opinion are the first to lose their shit if you use your own free speech to voice and opinion that differs to theirs. | |||
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"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite. Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else. I've landed myself on the forum naughty step for calling out hate on a number of occasions, so I guess I can see why people don't engage any more. Funny how the people that screech loudest about their free speech and right to an opinion are the first to lose their shit if you use your own free speech to voice and opinion that differs to theirs." Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here. Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences. | |||
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"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite. Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else. I've landed myself on the forum naughty step for calling out hate on a number of occasions, so I guess I can see why people don't engage any more. Funny how the people that screech loudest about their free speech and right to an opinion are the first to lose their shit if you use your own free speech to voice and opinion that differs to theirs. Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here. Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences. " The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! " The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan " And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! " People do have lives other than the forums! Admittedly you wouldn’t think so sometimes but some do. | |||
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"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite. Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else. I've landed myself on the forum naughty step for calling out hate on a number of occasions, so I guess I can see why people don't engage any more. Funny how the people that screech loudest about their free speech and right to an opinion are the first to lose their shit if you use your own free speech to voice and opinion that differs to theirs. Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here. Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences. The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. " Fair enough. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes hate is accused a lot for different opinions. I’ve read quite a lot lately about the toilet/prisons/JK Rowling debates and i see most of it as different valid opinions. Not hate | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?" It’s very rare but it does happen. I have two trans friends that meet like this on nights out. Both have been hospitalised twice over the last 10 years doing this … Thus is why I am big on disclosure and also avoiding supposedly straight men first timers as simply many men get post nut clarity and explode in agression | |||
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"The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. " "Trans women are tricking men" is a common "moral panic" and dog-whistle to portray trans people as deceptive and dangerous. There have been many people who have harmed/killed trans people because they felt deceived, and in some places have successfully defended themselves in court (the so-called "trans panic" defense). This can be as simple as the attacker pursuing a trans person unsolicited, and then that trans person informing them that they are trans, to which the attacker reacts with confusion and anger. (This used to, and in some places still does, happen to gay men as well - "gay panic") Counselling trans people not to live as their true gender for fear of reprisals can be seen the same way as counseling women not to be sexually promiscuous, which (possibly unintentionally) reinforces the justification for the violence. I say this without accusing anyone of anything, for a couple of reasons. And yeh, this sort of thing comes up often. | |||
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"The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. "Trans women are tricking men" is a common "moral panic" and dog-whistle to portray trans people as deceptive and dangerous. There have been many people who have harmed/killed trans people because they felt deceived, and in some places have successfully defended themselves in court (the so-called "trans panic" defense). This can be as simple as the attacker pursuing a trans person unsolicited, and then that trans person informing them that they are trans, to which the attacker reacts with confusion and anger. (This used to, and in some places still does, happen to gay men as well - "gay panic") Counselling trans people not to live as their true gender for fear of reprisals can be seen the same way as counseling women not to be sexually promiscuous, which (possibly unintentionally) reinforces the justification for the violence. I say this without accusing anyone of anything, for a couple of reasons. And yeh, this sort of thing comes up often." This sounds like a form of victim blaming which is unhelpful at the least, and harmful at worst. | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! " Coincidence? No. Just work. It was a female profile, with pictures. We had been chatting for a couple of weeks and all through the evening where I had been drinking. So this individual knew I had consumed several drinks and was suggesting they come round for a 'booty call'. Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations? | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it. I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. You've proven my point there. A man catfished you. A cisgender man. Not a trans woman. And you're offering this as evidence to back up the position that trans people are trying to trick people into sex. It's like saying "a white person stole my car, which proves that black people are thieves" " This person presented as a female profile. But had a penis. So my point about hiding an objective truth still stands. | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! Coincidence? No. Just work. It was a female profile, with pictures. We had been chatting for a couple of weeks and all through the evening where I had been drinking. So this individual knew I had consumed several drinks and was suggesting they come round for a 'booty call'. Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations? " At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man? I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption | |||
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"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities. Right, but it's centring the responsibility on the (potential) victim, isn't it. Same category as "skirt was too short", "walking home alone at night", etc etc. "She had it coming" is the logical corollary. The focus should be on stopping violence against women who don't conform to the norms these violent people are trying to enforce, not discouraging women from transgressing those norms for fear of violence." In a related issue, much of the debate in society seems to be trying to blame trans women for the risks of violent men entering women only public spaces, such as changing rooms and toilets. Blame the violent men (not the trans women). They are the problem here. If we were all more tolerant, wouldn't life be so much better? ________ Yes, I'm thinking of you Robert Galbraith / J.K. Rowling, or whichever geneder you choose for the sake of marketing your next book. | |||
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"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer. It does happen. But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them? I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things. More details are needed. My thoughts exactly! The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either. Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! Coincidence? No. Just work. It was a female profile, with pictures. We had been chatting for a couple of weeks and all through the evening where I had been drinking. So this individual knew I had consumed several drinks and was suggesting they come round for a 'booty call'. Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations? At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man? I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption " I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks. It was the other individuals idea that if I was inebriated enough I might think 'why not' if i was horny enough. I have no idea if they had tried this tactic before or since on others. I gave a rant reply and blocked and reported - though I think they went off site immediately iirc. It really was predatory behaviour. | |||
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"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"? It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked. Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"? Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying? I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens? Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once? I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it." I have just seen this and your type of denial reaction is exactly why people give up engaging. Even if you were given solid incidences it is beyond your comprehension to believe them clearly. Then to escalate denial into throwing a hate card when there is no hatred is ridiculous. Please get a grip. No one is saying every single trans person is doing this as they are not, many are very open. But these cases do and have happened. In those cases, it is very wrong, and not fair on the straight and gay men involved. The point is, to be honest if the genitals are not matching the presented gender. Stop throwing the hate card around so much when there is not hate. I say the same when I see people throwing any minority card around (including the minority groups I belong to) when it is not warranted | |||
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"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man? I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks. It was the other individuals idea that if I was inebriated enough I might think 'why not' if i was horny enough. I have no idea if they had tried this tactic before or since on others. I gave a rant reply and blocked and reported - though I think they went off site immediately iirc. It really was predatory behaviour. " Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia | |||
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"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man? I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks. It was the other individuals idea that if I was inebriated enough I might think 'why not' if i was horny enough. I have no idea if they had tried this tactic before or since on others. I gave a rant reply and blocked and reported - though I think they went off site immediately iirc. It really was predatory behaviour. Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia " Depends on the granularity you look at. Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences. | |||
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"Wonder how many of the most vocal men on this thread have ever encountered the made-up scenario they obsess over in real life and not just when browsing a profile that was apparently so ambiguous they were able to disseminate that someone was Trans anyway...such disproportionate anxiety about a scenario so exceedingly rare in the real world it only ever happens to a handful of people. I'm sure OP is delighted that their thread aimed at Trans people, where they asked for the input of Trans people, on a matter that affects only Trans people, has been co-opted by men whose only justification to morphing the discussion into one about "safeguarding" relates to a scenario they've never encountered outside of their overactive imaginations. It's not Transphobic though, they pinky promised." For clarity, I am referring to the *specific* scenario where someone is genitally catfished by a genuine Transgender person and not just yet another cisgender man. | |||
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"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man? I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks. It was the other individuals idea that if I was inebriated enough I might think 'why not' if i was horny enough. I have no idea if they had tried this tactic before or since on others. I gave a rant reply and blocked and reported - though I think they went off site immediately iirc. It really was predatory behaviour. Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia Depends on the granularity you look at. Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences." It's not Trans people's problem what predators do and we don't need special rules for Trans people because of the behaviour of predators who aren't Trans, just as we don't need special rules for anybody else in society. The existing laws are there to deal with sexual predators and those who commit sexual assault regardless of their sex, gender, race, creed, colour or religion. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. | |||
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"Genitally Catfished Great phrase.. So many images not enough storage " I've just patented it (totally true, honest) I'm charging 2 hobnobs per use, and a packet of custard cremes per meme. | |||
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"Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia Depends on the granularity you look at. Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences." That's not what being trans is though. Trans people aren't just men trying to trick you. This person wasn't even trans, they were a cis man. This experience is completely irrelevant to the thread. And, circling back, forcing trans women, who are open enough to be identified as trans, to use the TV/TS category gives them two options: - Put up with a category they possibly don't identify with - Hide the fact that they're trans So it's lose-lose, right - you just force a bunch of people to do the exact thing you're claiming has happened to you. | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." With respect, you talk utter tripe. | |||
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"I think the TV/TS suits because you’re TRANSEXUAL although you identify as a woman you yourself say you’re trans so what’s the drama Beats calling you a bloke with tits " and this is the problem.....you. | |||
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"Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?" Your question is moot. It's because some transphobic cis men here have the belief that all trans women who believe they are women will ALL want to trick them and bed them. Remember years ago homophobic men who banter... "Backs against the wall lads, all gay men wants to bum you. | |||
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"Understand that TV/TS category was probably an original if incorrect pigeonhole. Perhaps it’s time for Fab to update options for gender but not sure it will satisfy everyone. It is everyone’s right to gender themselves, however as others have said there are plenty of people even here on what should be a liberal fab who still reject this idea. " Considering there are about 99 genders the last time I saw a piece on this subject, do you expect fab to add another 99 gender catagories to the site. | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia. With respect, you talk utter tripe." Which part? The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic? The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex? The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women? Please make a coherent point. | |||
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"Which part? The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic? The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex? The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women? Please make a coherent point." This reads like... All Muslims are... All Blacks are .. All Gays are... All Trans are... It's tripe isn't it? | |||
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"Which part? The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic? The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex? The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women? Please make a coherent point. This reads like... All Muslims are... All Blacks are .. All Gays are... All Trans are... It's tripe isn't it?" You appear to conflate the word 'many' with the word 'all'. I chose my wording carefully. Many is more than a few. I did not use the word 'most'. Certainly not the word 'all'. I believe that any steps that allow an individual to make a choice based on objective as well as subjective truths is a positive. I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive. Try reading the words on the page without the lens of wanting to be offended. | |||
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"I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive." As a transphobe you do what many trolls like JK Rowling do (as demonstrated in Scotland where the Police didn't escalate to her trolling). You are careful in your use of "many" not "all" as you want to appear reasonable. I did say it "reads like" so as a trans woman who faces increasing hostility like your posts, I feel qualified to my views. Yes, there are predatory trans women. As there are predatory police officers. So deal with these minority predators appropriately. Not come on to a discussion about Fab categories and spout your anecdotal hate...! | |||
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"Third time lucky I hope for an answer. It is not unfair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not? The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right. What the fuck is a "genuine heterosexual", where do I get certified for that, and why would it matter. Or a "fully gay man", why is that not genuine? Why would a genuine lesbian or a questioning bisexual not want a say in which genitals they play with? What does this question have to do with the thread anyway, nobody is trying to present anyone with "unexpected genitals", and if they were then they could easily trick the category placement, which doesn't categorise genitals anyway. "Would it be unfair for ANYONE to be presented with genitals, in person, that they were not expecting?" Yes. Sure. Nobody really said otherwise. Putting women that disclose they have a penis (or, men that disclose they have a vagina) into the TV/TS category doesn't affect that one single bit. Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?" Surely you have seen the Crocodile Dundee film. | |||
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"Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did it make you feel when it happened? Do you think fab could do more to make the site more inclusive for Transwomen and Transmen(i.e. subcategories of the main binary genders, etc)? Any experiences shared would be most appreciated. Cheers for reading." Generally speaking as a TS, you'll have to have grit in life as you do here on Fab. Ideally separating out TS from TV/CD would be helpful for me. I keep getting asked by "Straight" men if my cock gets hard. They've enjoyed being pegged and want to try a real cock but not on a man. I politely say I'm on hormones and if they want to play with hard cocks, I politely suggest they approach a TV/CD. They sometimes come back offended and assert they are not gay ... I would suggest you go to the film website IMDb and search "Passing". It's a film about a mix race woman who is white enough to "pass" as white. When her racist boyfriend discovers she has negro blood, he kills her. You're left with this sense, of why bother trying to "pass". So many of us trans women just want to be treated as regular women. But if you spend time on forums like this with transphobes, you just need to "grow a pair" hun... Oh but wait ... | |||
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"I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive. As a transphobe you do what many trolls like JK Rowling do (as demonstrated in Scotland where the Police didn't escalate to her trolling). You are careful in your use of "many" not "all" as you want to appear reasonable. I did say it "reads like" so as a trans woman who faces increasing hostility like your posts, I feel qualified to my views. Yes, there are predatory trans women. As there are predatory police officers. So deal with these minority predators appropriately. Not come on to a discussion about Fab categories and spout your anecdotal hate...!" Transphobe? That's a pretty hefty fucking slur. Have you got anything other than ad hominem attacks? | |||
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"Has anyone watched the Crocodile Dundee film?" I love that film. Ahhh the old days. That’s not a knife | |||
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"As an admirer of all things TS, TV & CD..with a fair bit of experience too … to the more curious of you on this thread, I’d highly recommend Spectrum Night at the Saunabar in Bournemouth. A truly inclusive, fun evening, (even for newbies) with some completely stunning ladies !! But please, please never use the word ‘cock’ …or your inexperience will blind the whole room. Try the more polite ‘girl cock’ and girl pussy / ass pussy if it crops up in coversation. In ‘play,’ just be a gentleman and ask if they enjoy their gc being touched … if you know, you know. You’re welcome. " As a femboy, if someone called my dick a "girlcock", they'd get a punch in the face (Not really, just using this phrase to voice displeasure). Instead of just randomly insulting people's genitalia, we should just ask what term they prefer. I wouldn't randomly go up to a tomboy and ask if I can fondle her Man Vag. | |||
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"Hence the phrase … “if it crops up in conversation,”…… it was also a steer to one of the earlier posters, to avoid using the word ‘cock,’ which is a true red flag. Have to add, this is based on experience, not fantasy. You’re welcome …. ?? " Your experience with the elderly LGBT groups is clearly different to my experience with groups around my age. In my groups (mostly trans people and femboys), those words you used are mostly just fetish/chaser words that are seen as red flags. The word cock isn't really an issue for alot of LGBT people especially from my generation. | |||
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"Hate to disagree with you .. but you’re wrong… on many counts, in fact on all counts. I’ll leave you to it … You’re welcome .. enjoy. " Okay chaser. | |||
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"“Girlcock” Think I just threw up a little bit. " So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock? | |||
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"As a femboy, if someone called my dick a "girlcock", they'd get a punch in the face (Not really, just using this phrase to voice displeasure). Instead of just randomly insulting people's genitalia, we should just ask what term they prefer. I wouldn't randomly go up to a tomboy and ask if I can fondle her Man Vag." Man vag deserve a fondle too, human rights | |||
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"Prefer the term ‘admirer’ … but.. none taken. " Well I admire you for sticking with it considering the amount of vitriol you may experience going for femboys | |||
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"Maybe I’ll see them at the next Spectrum night in Bournemouth… A ‘real’ event with ‘real’ people … Even elderly LGBTQ folk are allowed in.. it’s an inclusive space. !!!! Do come and say Hi…. ?? " I have to admit when you were referred to as elderly I was expecting a man in 60s or 70s, made me laugh seeing you only in late 40s. But femboys are some of the most vicious segments of the ever expanding ‘LGBT+’, does not impact me though as I have the easy life of Masc4Masc | |||
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"“Girlcock” Think I just threw up a little bit. So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock? " Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male? | |||
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"“Girlcock” Think I just threw up a little bit. So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock? Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male?" I have no idea but I may add ass pussy to my chat up line database | |||
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"“Girlcock” Think I just threw up a little bit. So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock? Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male? I have no idea but I may add ass pussy to my chat up line database " Everyone needs a chap up line database. I get enough ads pussy messages I might give it a free pass. | |||
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"Maybe I’ll see them at the next Spectrum night in Bournemouth… A ‘real’ event with ‘real’ people … Even elderly LGBTQ folk are allowed in.. it’s an inclusive space. !!!! Do come and say Hi…. ?? I have to admit when you were referred to as elderly I was expecting a man in 60s or 70s, made me laugh seeing you only in late 40s. But femboys are some of the most vicious segments of the ever expanding ‘LGBT+’, does not impact me though as I have the easy life of Masc4Masc " Hey bro, the man vag is alllll yours! Oh god please don't lump me in with the wokies, I hate their kind. Im just a cunt online because its fun, not for any political reasons. As for the elderly part, I mean I'm not wrong, statistically speaking he is closer to his death than his birth so I don't think he's exactly young anymore. | |||
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"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now " Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest | |||
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"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest " Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play | |||
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"Hey Glowupdoll, once again… based on experience (not some keyboard warrior : Rosie Palm and her five sisters wanker type )… these are real terms, used in my last relationship and the one before that .. a stunning 6’3” CD who was married and wanted the safety and security of a club night, specifically for all things Trans and the beauty and joy they bring to the world. You really should not throw your weight around on here … I openly invite you down to Bournemouth, we could go to Spectrum together. The TGirl host is the most fabulous girl I’ve ever met …. Play nicely Glowupdoll… P x " Throw my weight around? I don’t carry any weight on here. And I’m not taking a pop at anyone. | |||
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"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play" That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me. | |||
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"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me. " Gonna need to get you some hip padding. I think ass pussy has grown on many of us this fine evening | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia." ?? agree with that I have no problem with trans people some are very good looking and I'm sure for the most part very nice people. the catagory ts/tv although maybe not as pc as some would want it to be covers all. the people who class themselves as female with male bits and male with female bits if you want identify as what ever that's fine but you can't expect the site to have catagory for all the new genders there just would be room for them all on the page. what's not fine is pretending to be something you are not and as much as I'll be hated for saying this you should get reported for it as its deception.personally if it was down to you would be banned for it. As a straight person I look for female or straight couples. I do not want to find males when I look for females nothing against trans I'm not being transphobic because of that. if anyone hates me for that that's fine I'm OK with that | |||
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"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack. Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off. You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment. It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with. Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia. ?? agree with that I have no problem with trans people some are very good looking and I'm sure for the most part very nice people. the catagory ts/tv although maybe not as pc as some would want it to be covers all. the people who class themselves as female with male bits and male with female bits if you want identify as what ever that's fine but you can't expect the site to have catagory for all the new genders there just would be room for them all on the page. what's not fine is pretending to be something you are not and as much as I'll be hated for saying this you should get reported for it as its deception.personally if it was down to you would be banned for it. As a straight person I look for female or straight couples. I do not want to find males when I look for females nothing against trans I'm not being transphobic because of that. if anyone hates me for that that's fine I'm OK with that " Lol, you couldn't make it up, just laughable | |||
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"Biological sex is a reality. It doesn't matter what you look like, etc. It's not fair on heteronormative people to be misled. It is biologically impossible to change sex. It's like the hans Christian Anderson story of the emperor's new clothes, where people are afraid to say the truth. Men and women are very different, and no amount of medical plastic surgery can change this reality. Just be happy to be a trans person. When have you seen a trans women in a maternity ward? " | |||
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"Understand that TV/TS category was probably an original if incorrect pigeonhole. Perhaps it’s time for Fab to update options for gender but not sure it will satisfy everyone. It is everyone’s right to gender themselves, however as others have said there are plenty of people even here on what should be a liberal fab who still reject this idea. " There really is only a ‘right’ to two things. Call yourself a man or call yourself a woman, and both of those things are based on your biology. | |||
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"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me. Gonna need to get you some hip padding. I think ass pussy has grown on many of us this fine evening " I’m already well padded but more is more | |||
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"Being gender critical is protected in law and is not ‘transphobic’. I have a ‘right’ to say there are only two genders and these are based on biological sex. I have right not to go along with any reality bending redefining of gender and sex. A persons Gender Dysphoria is not my problem. I do not have to do anything to make them feel better about themselves and I certainly do not have to unquestioningly accept everything they have to say about their very specific view of world. " Nice guy | |||
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"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs " Your boobs look like they could give a black eye | |||
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"This has escalated since I was last here I wonder how many people here discussing this topic have never met a trans woman ever in their life? Seems to be at the forefront of so many peoples imaginations though despite their lack of relative proximity to the "scene" so to speak. If I'm not into something, I don't spend every waking hour obsessing over it just saying.. This forum is so toxic " Toxic and boring, nice legs and arse by the way...... | |||
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"This has escalated since I was last here I wonder how many people here discussing this topic have never met a trans woman ever in their life? Seems to be at the forefront of so many peoples imaginations though despite their lack of relative proximity to the "scene" so to speak. If I'm not into something, I don't spend every waking hour obsessing over it just saying.. This forum is so toxic Toxic and boring, nice legs and arse by the way......" Why thank you very much, babe | |||
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"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs " Great boobs. While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too... | |||
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"Think the only time it is appropriate would be for those who have totally transitioned " I'm a pre-op, but have lived as a woman "legally" for over 10 years. How do you class me then treacle ?? | |||
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"Think the only time it is appropriate would be for those who have totally transitioned I'm a pre-op, but have lived as a woman "legally" for over 10 years. How do you class me then treacle ??" As a pre op trans woman, would that be correct? Mrs x | |||
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"I couldn't help noticing, though shouldn't really be very surprised that the majority of responses on this thread are alobg tge lines of how a man might react when being presented with, I believe the term that's been used is 'unexpected genetalia' but I haven't seen one comment that considers how a bi or gay woman might react in such circumstances if meeting someone who they believe to be a woman only to discover that person has a penis, and what the repercusions might be." I believe this covers that angle. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57853385.amp | |||
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"The FAB webpages are an old fashioned way of categorisation. But it cannot be changed without repercussion across the whole site. So, ultimately, we are stuck with it. I understand how upsetting it is to be effectively be told, "You're not a woman in the FAB system!" Especially after all the personal mental and physical struggles day in and out you have had to overcome to be the person you are today. But in its simplest form, FAB is just another outdated system and I know you will have strong resilience and resolve against it. But it is people that make FAB. Not the outdated system. The community make FAB what it is and generally everyone is accepted for their sexual freedoms (maybe not the misogynistic wank fodder). If it is really that big a deal am also very sure that FAB can change your category back to woman. No biggy. Shit happens. " Why not expand the categories to include Trans men and woman? Wouldn't that be more inclusive and a more accurate representation of the situation? Mrs c | |||
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"I would love to take hormones and live full time as a trans women, and eventually hope to achieve this. But I don't delude myself or others about what I am. " Well said and good luck with your transition | |||
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"The FAB webpages are an old fashioned way of categorisation. But it cannot be changed without repercussion across the whole site. So, ultimately, we are stuck with it. I understand how upsetting it is to be effectively be told, "You're not a woman in the FAB system!" Especially after all the personal mental and physical struggles day in and out you have had to overcome to be the person you are today. But in its simplest form, FAB is just another outdated system and I know you will have strong resilience and resolve against it. But it is people that make FAB. Not the outdated system. The community make FAB what it is and generally everyone is accepted for their sexual freedoms (maybe not the misogynistic wank fodder). If it is really that big a deal am also very sure that FAB can change your category back to woman. No biggy. Shit happens. Why not expand the categories to include Trans men and woman? Wouldn't that be more inclusive and a more accurate representation of the situation? Mrs c" Totally. Over years many have campaigned for change, but nothing has. There will be reasons for it, which the general public might not understand. | |||
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"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs Great boobs. While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too... " Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy | |||
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"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs Great boobs. While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too... Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy " I’m sure there would be an orderly queue of admirers WiltsTGirl .. but you have the block button set on your profile ! | |||
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"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs Great boobs. While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too... Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy I’m sure there would be an orderly queue of admirers WiltsTGirl .. but you have the block button set on your profile ! " Read her profile ..... | |||
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