FabSwingers.com forum: Trans Women and Category Placement

By (user no longer on site) OP
26 weeks ago

I'm wondering if other Transwomen have signed up to fab, and have started their profile in the 'Women' category, only to find at some point there profile has been changed to another category, thus misgendering them.

I have started that way, in the past, only to have that happen to me, and it is very upsetting, knowing that a transphobic coward has most likely reported me, and those that have changed my profile, because I identify, live, and express being female, and other Transwomens profiles, and fab admin don't have any issue changing it without prior notification.

I'm a TransWoman who is on hormones, and have natural tits. I identify, live, and express myself as a Woman, everyday of my life. My pronouns are She and Her. I have always been upfront about my Transition in my profile, I never show pictures of my penis due to the fact I don't have penetrative sex, and have pictures on my profile that no one would ever question my feminity if the had not known prior, however to no avail. I would like it if I'm welcomed to Fab, and find interesting Fabbers to connect with, preferably being recognised like any Cisgender Woman would, and people who are open minded make the choice for themselves. However, biases like this really don't help those who are diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria at all, and make you feel unaccepted.

There are a few profiles of pre-op Transwomen that are out there, that have been awhile on fab, which then makes me wonder do other factors play into why some profiles are changed or not, in addition to Transphobia(i.e. racial bias(of reporter, admin), sexuality(whether a Trans Woman is sexually attracted to a specific gender, namely Women), whether you have had meets or not to confirm you, whether you show your certain anatomy or not(i.e. breasts, penis), etc), that affect these decisions.

Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did it make you feel when it happened? Do you think fab could do more to make the site more inclusive for Transwomen and Transmen(i.e. subcategories of the main binary genders, etc)?

Any experiences shared would be most appreciated.

Cheers for reading.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

Without the TS/TV category it would be possible for someone presenting as not their birth sex to create a profile and arrange meets with others who have a preference for CIS/heteronormative sexual relationships. It can be seen as deceptive and removes the agency of those who do not wish to meet trans people. There is also the prospect of coercive sex if the unwilling partner does not feel comfortable saying no, once the clothes come off.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ootyfruityCouple
26 weeks ago

andover

I do think the ts/tv category is to vague, someone who identifies as a gender but trapped in the body of a different gender, I believe is different to someone who occasionally dresses as the opposite sex for sexual gratification.

I do not oppose or discriminate against how anyone would chose to identify, however I do believe there are differences that makes the category to vague

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I do think the ts/tv category is to vague, someone who identifies as a gender but trapped in the body of a different gender, I believe is different to someone who occasionally dresses as the opposite sex for sexual gratification.

I do not oppose or discriminate against how anyone would chose to identify, however I do believe there are differences that makes the category to vague"

It is very overarching, but it is at least a first step if someone has a preference for it.. splitting it into TS and TV would be more accurate.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hrimper36Couple
26 weeks ago

Central France dept 36

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

^^^^^This 100%

Very well put and as the poster said I hope that you don’t take offense op.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Unfortunately the category is basically the only option for non cis.

I have transmasculine friends who have been listed as men for years, including before their lower surgery, and just made it clear on their profile.

Unfortunately people are a lot more reactive to a surprise penis than a surprise vagina. And some asshole will always report if you mention having a penis on a female profile. Regardless of how relevant it is to what you're actually presenting as or interested in doing sexually.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ootyfruityCouple
26 weeks ago

andover

"Unfortunately the category is basically the only option for non cis.

I have transmasculine friends who have been listed as men for years, including before their lower surgery, and just made it clear on their profile.

Yep, there’s always someone that can’t help sticking their nose in. I think the genitalia should be mentioned to someone prior to a meet if they are listed as male or female but have opposing genitals, it does matter to some, to me it doesn’t

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *pankingNorfolkCouple
26 weeks ago

Norwichish

Understand that TV/TS category was probably an original if incorrect pigeonhole.

Perhaps it’s time for Fab to update options for gender but not sure it will satisfy everyone.

It is everyone’s right to gender themselves, however as others have said there are plenty of people even here on what should be a liberal fab who still reject this idea.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ntcovMan
26 weeks ago

Church Gresley / Swadlincote

It seems a lot of people don't know the difference between TS and TV when you speak to them...there's a big difference.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
26 weeks ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

Trans women are women and OP should be allowed to choose the category that is true for her.

OP - I can understand that this must have been really painful. I tried to DM you but your profile is hidden. Please DM us if you’d like to.

Fab is way way behind the times with its gender categories. You should be able to pick “woman” and my partner Max should be able to pick “non-binary”.

Sending lots of love, from one woman to another.

Dee x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I have noticed this on dating apps too coming from the other side as a gay man. Some trans men will put themselves down as men rather than trans men but still have a vagina. It should be correct that they are down as trans men at least pre-op.

It is not going to be comfortable for a gay man to get the surprise of a vagina. Likewise a genuine heterosexual male is likely to freak out presented with a penis when they otherwise thought they were meeting a biological woman. It is important to be hones

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

Just seen your response, very intelligent, balanced and accurate

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Trans women are women and OP should be allowed to choose the category that is true for her.

OP - I can understand that this must have been really painful. I tried to DM you but your profile is hidden. Please DM us if you’d like to.

Fab is way way behind the times with its gender categories. You should be able to pick “woman” and my partner Max should be able to pick “non-binary”.

Sending lots of love, from one woman to another.

Dee x"

Your first statement is a subjective truth, as opposed to an objective truth that a trans woman may have a penis.

In any relationship, the opinions, beliefs and truths of both parties should hold equal value. If one party tries to assert that their truth is more valid, or tries to negate the other person's truth then I would hold that is morally and ethically disingenuous.

Any steps that improve informed consent are a positive.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
26 weeks ago

chichester

As a trans woman of some 15 years I have no issue being marked as TS

My profile has been immensely popular in interactions just like my female friends profiles. So I don’t see it as a negative using the TS mark on here .

On a hook up site like this I don’t think it really matters and stealth meeting is dangerous as a trans if you are fortunate enough to be more or less visually undectable

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"As a trans woman of some 15 years I have no issue being marked as TS

My profile has been immensely popular in interactions just like my female friends profiles. So I don’t see it as a negative using the TS mark on here .

On a hook up site like this I don’t think it really matters and stealth meeting is dangerous as a trans if you are fortunate enough to be more or less visually undectable

This goes back to informed consent. You are very open with your profile so potential partners can make appropriate choices.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
26 weeks ago

chichester

"As a trans woman of some 15 years I have no issue being marked as TS

My profile has been immensely popular in interactions just like my female friends profiles. So I don’t see it as a negative using the TS mark on here .

On a hook up site like this I don’t think it really matters and stealth meeting is dangerous as a trans if you are fortunate enough to be more or less visually undectable

This goes back to informed consent. You are very open with your profile so potential partners can make appropriate choices.

In real life out and about I just function as a woman in society as no one has ever questioned / asked. Though with things like dating / sex meets being up front is key

Like on a night out with friends guys chat to me / try flirt but as I have no intentions of going with them I don’t need to divulge and out myself in that instance.

If someone was getting along with me and I felt like yeah perhaps could be fun I’ll drop in politely I am trans .. see what they say .

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ot to giggleWoman
26 weeks ago

Coventry

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

nicely put - its just boxes - trying to work out who is who can be a nightmare - if they widen the boxes they need to put single - married or single, single -

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Trans women are and have been on here as "women" so if you've had your profile changed then it is at least inconsistent. I can think of a few quite prominent examples so hopefully you can send a message to the admins and they'll eventually change it back (it does tend to take an egregiously long time).

The threat of violence against women in "the wrong category" is not a good argument for forcing trans women out of the "women" category. People have all sorts of surprises and profiles/conversations exist for this purpose, and violence is consistently used to get women to submit/conform in various ways. This reason is as unacceptable as any other.

If you know a man like this, make sure women and the police are informed about them, and just generally do the right thing

let's not police women to avoid "triggering" them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Trans women are and have been on here as "women" so if you've had your profile changed then it is at least inconsistent. I can think of a few quite prominent examples so hopefully you can send a message to the admins and they'll eventually change it back (it does tend to take an egregiously long time).

If you know a man like this, make sure women and the police are informed about them, and just generally do the right thing

let's not police women to avoid "triggering" them."

If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

If you know a man like this, make sure women and the police are informed about them, and just generally do the right thing

let's not police women to avoid "triggering" them."

No one sand agrees violence should be acceptable and no one here is saying it should be in these scenarios. However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

* sane

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

There’s a trans category and a woman category. I really don’t understand the issue. It’s not like there’s only male and female categorys. Just put in your profile that you identify as a woman and want to be referred to as she/ her.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?"

If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"However, it is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?

If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category?"

It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"However, is not fair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?

If someone were trying to "trick" men into meeting them without disclosing they have a penis, why would they put it on their profile such that they could be reported for being in the wrong category?"

We are not talking here about individuals who reveal on their profile they have genitals for the opposite sex they are presenting as, this is about many that do not reveal it. So for those who do not reveal it, do you agree this is unfair on genuinely heterosexual and fully gay men?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities."

Right, but it's centring the responsibility on the (potential) victim, isn't it. Same category as "skirt was too short", "walking home alone at night", etc etc. "She had it coming" is the logical corollary.

The focus should be on stopping violence against women who don't conform to the norms these violent people are trying to enforce, not discouraging women from transgressing those norms for fear of violence.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?"

Are they not women?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?

Are they not women?"

Are they not trans?

Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?

Are they not women?

Are they not trans?

Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search?"

That isn't a search term, and some TV/TS don't have penises because it's just a catch-all category.

In fact, some trans women start off with a penis, then don't have one. But changing your profile's "gender" is hard - and if you have verifications, impossible. So should they start a new profile after they don't have a penis? Why?

Yes they are trans. Yes they are women. So, they should be welcome to choose either category. The categories are shit and we're all just trying to make it work.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
26 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?

Are they not women?"

In a word , no

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ea monkeyMan
26 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

I do agree with what many are saying, the TV/TS category is woefully lacking in clarity and really doesn’t differentiate between someone who put on femme underwear for an hour for sex and someone who lives their life as a woman and is undergoing surgery.

Speaking as a bi man, I really don’t care what your genitalia is, for a heterosexual man, looking for straight sex, they definitely will.

I agree that a broader range of options would help with this issue and being clear on your profile should provide extra clarity.

In short though, a person should be able to identify as they see fit. If they’re legally a woman then that should be how the site recognises them, irrespective of genitalia. It is transphobic to change a person’s gender on their profile

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"It is the wrong category though. There’s a trans category. Are they not trans?

Are they not women?

Are they not trans?

Answer me this. If someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search?

That isn't a search term, and some TV/TS don't have penises because it's just a catch-all category.

Yes they are trans. Yes they are women. So, they should be welcome to choose either category. The categories are shit and we're all just trying to make it work."

I didn’t say it was a search term. I said if someone is looking for a woman with a penis which category will they search.

And yes I agree there should be more categories as there are big differences between TV/TS/CD. I think the answer is more trans categories.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/24 10:01:11]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Third time lucky I hope for an answer. It is not unfair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys? "

Is it categorised differently to here is what I meant?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys? "

No only men or TS/ TV. Rank site though, I never last on there.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lack Orchid 0204Man
26 weeks ago

Leeds

TS seems the most appropriate category to me, you say in your op you're "transitioning"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Third time lucky I hope for an answer. It is not unfair on genuinely heterosexual men or fully gay men to be presented with genitals in person they were not expecting - do you agree on that? If not, why not?"

The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right.

What the fuck is a "genuine heterosexual", where do I get certified for that, and why would it matter. Or a "fully gay man", why is that not genuine? Why would a genuine lesbian or a questioning bisexual not want a say in which genitals they play with?

What does this question have to do with the thread anyway, nobody is trying to present anyone with "unexpected genitals", and if they were then they could easily trick the category placement, which doesn't categorise genitals anyway.

"Would it be unfair for ANYONE to be presented with genitals, in person, that they were not expecting?" Yes. Sure. Nobody really said otherwise. Putting women that disclose they have a penis (or, men that disclose they have a vagina) into the TV/TS category doesn't affect that one single bit.

Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"It just occurred to me. Not particularly to do with the conversation but is there a woman category on fabguys?

No only men or TS/ TV. Rank site though, I never last on there."

I guess that can be seen as discriminatory too then if people are seeing this site’s categories as unfair. There must be plenty trans on there who identify as women.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right.

Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?"

It is not a ridiculous question in any way, shape or form, especially for fully straight and gay men who do not want to be presented with surprise genitals. Not everyone trans on this site or others is honest about genitals, that is why the question was asked.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lice AgainTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Bristol

I'm probably going to get slated for this, but it's almost like we need separate "what's in your pants" and "how do you identify" categories.

I certainly have a cock but am I a man? No. Am I a woman? Also no.

Sadly the TV/TS category is my only option.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?"

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Ok, so do we need to upgrade fabs with: "sex assigned at birth", "gender identified with currently", "sex wanting to meet", "gender wanting to meet", "genetalia available at the moment" categories?

I'm sure I've missed something here.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?"

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/24 11:03:53]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?"

So you're saying that you've landed up in bed with a man, who turned out to have a vagina, and they hadn't disclosed this until you were having sex with them?

That seems like a very awkward situation, yeh. Seems like it would have been prudent to tell you up-front. I can't imagine any trans people not disclosing that, mostly for fear of rejection at the worst moment.

I didn't have the capacity to be in denial of that because I didn't know it had happened. I've heard of it happening in bars in other countries, where there is a language barrier (not so much a "trick" as a misunderstanding).

I.. still don't see how this is relevant to the thread, of course. But thanks for sharing your experience.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *atcherwankerMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?"

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

"I'm wondering if other Transwomen have signed up to fab, and have started their profile in the 'Women' category, only to find at some point there profile has been changed to another category, thus misgendering them.

Any experiences shared would be most appreciated.

Cheers for reading."

I'm sorry that you have been misgendered. I can only imagine how distressing that has been for you.

I'm sure you already know this, but you could contact the site owners and use the Equality Act 2010 to change you back to the correct gender.

I hope you get it changed back, and good luck.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities.

That's a bullshit comparison. You cannot compare dressing provocatively to deliberately misleading someone as to your genitalia when entering into a sexual encounter.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer.

It does happen.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ea monkeyMan
26 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

It does happen."

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

It does happen."

Did the catfish have TV/TS as their descriptor?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
26 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

"I have personally been catfished on this site by a female profile that later admitted they were male when trying to arrange a meet - which they timed on a Friday night when they knew I had been consuming alcohol and might decide to not be straight with the right offer.

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed? "

The way that anecdote is written sounds more like it was a man using a fake profile rather than a trans woman not disclosing their current genitalia status, which are obviously two completely different things.

More details are needed.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed."

My thoughts exactly!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"I'm not in the least but surprised this thread turned rapidly to dog-whistle prejudice, but the argument you're trying to make is that trams people shouldn't be able to identify as their true gender because they're sexual predators trying to trick people into sleeping with them. It's a grotesque argument, and it saddens me that there only appears to be one other person here who sees it."

Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite.

Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *atcherwankerMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

It does happen."

You've proven my point there. A man catfished you. A cisgender man. Not a trans woman. And you're offering this as evidence to back up the position that trans people are trying to trick people into sex. It's like saying "a white person stole my car, which proves that black people are thieves"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *atcherwankerMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham

Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite.

Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else."

I've landed myself on the forum naughty step for calling out hate on a number of occasions, so I guess I can see why people don't engage any more. Funny how the people that screech loudest about their free speech and right to an opinion are the first to lose their shit if you use your own free speech to voice and opinion that differs to theirs.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite.

Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else.

Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here.

Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite.

Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else.

Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here.

Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences. "

The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
26 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly! "

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly!

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly!

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! "

People do have lives other than the forums! Admittedly you wouldn’t think so sometimes but some do.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ora the explorerWoman
26 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Because most people that see it have either given up or left entirely. Which is frustrating, because this is by far the most popular swinging site, but it's also overrun with this sort of shite.

Trans women identifying as women aren't a threat to anyone else.

Hate is a very strong word and is unnecessarily thrown about a ridiculous amount on here.

Who are you accusing of hate? I’ve read the thread and I'm just curious as to why the hate comment. Or are you referring to previous occurrences.

The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. "

Fair enough. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes hate is accused a lot for different opinions. I’ve read quite a lot lately about the toilet/prisons/JK Rowling debates and i see most of it as different valid opinions. Not hate

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
26 weeks ago

chichester

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?"

It’s very rare but it does happen. I have two trans friends that meet like this on nights out. Both have been hospitalised twice over the last 10 years doing this …

Thus is why I am big on disclosure and also avoiding supposedly straight men first timers as simply many men get post nut clarity and explode in agression

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors. "

"Trans women are tricking men" is a common "moral panic" and dog-whistle to portray trans people as deceptive and dangerous.

There have been many people who have harmed/killed trans people because they felt deceived, and in some places have successfully defended themselves in court (the so-called "trans panic" defense). This can be as simple as the attacker pursuing a trans person unsolicited, and then that trans person informing them that they are trans, to which the attacker reacts with confusion and anger.

(This used to, and in some places still does, happen to gay men as well - "gay panic")

Counselling trans people not to live as their true gender for fear of reprisals can be seen the same way as counseling women not to be sexually promiscuous, which (possibly unintentionally) reinforces the justification for the violence.

I say this without accusing anyone of anything, for a couple of reasons. And yeh, this sort of thing comes up often.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Flat CapsCouple
26 weeks ago

Pontypool

"The way I read it, previous threads. However, I do think there is an undercurrent of prejudice in this thread towards trans women in particular by some contributors.

"Trans women are tricking men" is a common "moral panic" and dog-whistle to portray trans people as deceptive and dangerous.

(This used to, and in some places still does, happen to gay men as well - "gay panic")

I say this without accusing anyone of anything, for a couple of reasons. And yeh, this sort of thing comes up often."

This sounds like a form of victim blaming which is unhelpful at the least, and harmful at worst.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly!

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows! "

Coincidence? No. Just work.

It was a female profile, with pictures. We had been chatting for a couple of weeks and all through the evening where I had been drinking. So this individual knew I had consumed several drinks and was suggesting they come round for a 'booty call'.

Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

It does happen.

This person presented as a female profile. But had a penis. So my point about hiding an objective truth still stands.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rHotNottsMan
26 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I want to know if the woman I am thinking of meeting has a vagina or penis , it’s not a big ask on sex site. On other sites / applications gender and sex is irrelevant but I think on a sex site it’s important. Maybe sex is what’s important rather than gender ? I mean the TS category includes people who dress as women , seems very random option. I don’t care how people dress, they can dress as Harry Potter characters , the clothes will be off. But the presence of a penis would no go down well

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *atnip make me purrWoman
26 weeks ago

Reading

I would prefer to know in advance but it wouldnt change much.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
26 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly!

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows!

Coincidence? No. Just work.

Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations? "

At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man?

I'm personally not accusing you of anything, but it's unfortunate the way you wrote about the alcohol thing seems to suggest that your sexual orientation potentially alters based on volume of alcohol consumption

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

A discussion on trans women dominated by men from the very start, imagine my surprise.

I've only ever come across the genital non-disclosure scenario in a handful of posts on R-dit and the sources of those posts are incredibly dubious to say the least given how anonymous that site is.

Gender is not the same thing as sex because gender is someone's neurological and psychological characteristics (that then manifest physically), whereas Sex is biological. If trans women want to list themselves as women and trans men as trans men (and non-binary people as NB) it should be their right to do so on here. It's very outdated that they have their profiles changed back and can only pick from a label containing two wildly different categories to begin with.

The open to abuse concept applies to anyone who can make any fake or misleading profile, we don't need special rules because someone is Trans and the vast vast majority of adults understand that disclosure over things like what equipment you have is essential before a sexual encounter, so treating Trans people like they need to be forced into disclosing just in case you - god forbid - exchange a few messages with someone before they mention it, is blatantly Transphobic. You don't have to be shouting slurs at someone in the street to be a Transphobe, it's all there in the tone when discussing the topic (as well as the double standards), no amount of false politeness will hide it from anyone who knows what Transphobia/Homophobia look like.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ohn 66Man
26 weeks ago

Birmingham

"If you think physical safety isn't a good argument you need to look at your priorities.

In a related issue, much of the debate in society seems to be trying to blame trans women for the risks of violent men entering women only public spaces, such as changing rooms and toilets.

Blame the violent men (not the trans women). They are the problem here.

If we were all more tolerant, wouldn't life be so much better?

________

Yes, I'm thinking of you Robert Galbraith / J.K. Rowling, or whichever geneder you choose for the sake of marketing your next book.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

It does happen.

But they did disclose it? You weren’t drawn into actually meeting them?

I guess it’s shitty that they didn’t directly disclose it on their profile but no lines of consent were crossed?

More details are needed.

My thoughts exactly!

The line about the alcohol doesn't seem very plausible either.

Unless this catfish knows them well enough to know he drinks so much on Fridays he's unable to distinguish between "Karen" & "Dave", i don't see how anyone could speculatively hatch this cunning plan

And is it now coincidence that they have disengaged from the thread? Who knows!

Coincidence? No. Just work.

Would you like any more clarification or are you just going to make more baseless accusations?

At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man?

I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks.

It was the other individuals idea that if I was inebriated enough I might think 'why not' if i was horny enough. I have no idea if they had tried this tactic before or since on others. I gave a rant reply and blocked and reported - though I think they went off site immediately iirc.

It really was predatory behaviour.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?

Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?

Because this HAS happened to both straight and gay men, stop burying your head in the sand

Straight and gay men, specifically, are being targeted by trans men and women, to surprise them with their genitals during sex? Is that what you're saying?

I am saying there have been many cases of some trans men and women not being honest about their genitals to straight and gay men they want to hook up with. Are you in denial this happens?

Has there been "many cases" of this happening though? REALLY?! Or have you heard that someone's best mate's uncle's dog sitter knows someone who said it happened to someone once?

I have just seen this and your type of denial reaction is exactly why people give up engaging. Even if you were given solid incidences it is beyond your comprehension to believe them clearly.

Then to escalate denial into throwing a hate card when there is no hatred is ridiculous. Please get a grip. No one is saying every single trans person is doing this as they are not, many are very open.

But these cases do and have happened. In those cases, it is very wrong, and not fair on the straight and gay men involved. The point is, to be honest if the genitals are not matching the presented gender.

Stop throwing the hate card around so much when there is not hate. I say the same when I see people throwing any minority card around (including the minority groups I belong to) when it is not warranted

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
26 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man?

I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks.

It really was predatory behaviour. "

Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Wonder how many of the most vocal men on this thread have ever encountered the made-up scenario they obsess over in real life and not just when browsing a profile that was apparently so ambiguous they were able to disseminate that someone was Trans anyway...such disproportionate anxiety about a scenario so exceedingly rare in the real world it only ever happens to a handful of people.

I'm sure OP is delighted that their thread aimed at Trans people, where they asked for the input of Trans people, on a matter that affects only Trans people, has been co-opted by men whose only justification to morphing the discussion into one about "safeguarding" relates to a scenario they've never encountered outside of their overactive imaginations. It's not Transphobic though, they pinky promised.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man?

I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks.

It really was predatory behaviour.

Depends on the granularity you look at.

Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Wonder how many of the most vocal men on this thread have ever encountered the made-up scenario they obsess over in real life and not just when browsing a profile that was apparently so ambiguous they were able to disseminate that someone was Trans anyway...such disproportionate anxiety about a scenario so exceedingly rare in the real world it only ever happens to a handful of people.

For clarity, I am referring to the *specific* scenario where someone is genitally catfished by a genuine Transgender person and not just yet another cisgender man.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *antastic_Mr_Fox_76Man
26 weeks ago

District 13

I think the TV/TS suits because you’re TRANSEXUAL

although you identify as a woman you yourself say you’re trans so what’s the drama

Beats calling you a bloke with tits

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"At what point during the 2 weeks of "chatting" did you realize that were actually taking to a man?

I only found out when they admitted on the final evening. I was convinced I was speaking to a lady from the conversation for the entire couple of weeks.

It really was predatory behaviour.

Depends on the granularity you look at.

Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences."

It's not Trans people's problem what predators do and we don't need special rules for Trans people because of the behaviour of predators who aren't Trans, just as we don't need special rules for anybody else in society. The existing laws are there to deal with sexual predators and those who commit sexual assault regardless of their sex, gender, race, creed, colour or religion. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
26 weeks ago

King's Crustacean

Genitally Catfished

Great phrase..

So many images not enough storage

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
26 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Genitally Catfished

Great phrase..

So many images not enough storage

I've just patented it (totally true, honest)

I'm charging 2 hobnobs per use, and a packet of custard cremes per meme.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Ok fair enough. Sounds like a gay man was trying to catfish you with a fake profile, which I know does happen a lot on this site, so i believe you - but that situation is only tangentially relevant to a discussion about trans women disclosing their genitalia

Depends on the granularity you look at.

Individual presents as something they are not to gain access to sex with someone contrary to the individuals sexual preferences."

That's not what being trans is though. Trans people aren't just men trying to trick you. This person wasn't even trans, they were a cis man. This experience is completely irrelevant to the thread.

And, circling back, forcing trans women, who are open enough to be identified as trans, to use the TV/TS category gives them two options:

- Put up with a category they possibly don't identify with

- Hide the fact that they're trans

So it's lose-lose, right - you just force a bunch of people to do the exact thing you're claiming has happened to you.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
26 weeks ago

peterborough

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

With respect, you talk utter tripe.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
26 weeks ago

peterborough

"I think the TV/TS suits because you’re TRANSEXUAL

although you identify as a woman you yourself say you’re trans so what’s the drama

Beats calling you a bloke with tits

"
and this is the problem.....you.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
26 weeks ago

peterborough

Imagine so called open swingers being transphobic, really?? Surely not, ha ha....

Fab swingers could easily make the change, if your a full time TS, send copy's of passport and driving licence. If you can't do that then your in the TV category. VA and Jaydees do this I believe.

Now I wonder if fabswingers will do this??? PMSL, no offcourse they won't because **** *** **********(

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ransgirl7TV/TS
24 weeks ago

South Devon

As usual, this site's stuck in the last century.

TS? What on earth? I am a woman, a transgender woman.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ransgirl7TV/TS
24 weeks ago

South Devon

It's horrific that happened, OP.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uzie69xTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Maidstone

"Right, so I ask for the second time: why do you think people are trying to trick you into meeting "surprise genitals"?"

Your question is moot.

It's because some transphobic cis men here have the belief that all trans women who believe they are women will ALL want to trick them and bed them.

Remember years ago homophobic men who banter... "Backs against the wall lads, all gay men wants to bum you.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *amierebelMan
24 weeks ago

nae danger.

Unrelated really but the term cis men/woman gets to me so much more than it should I'm just a man there is no cis

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ust RachelTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Horsham

"Understand that TV/TS category was probably an original if incorrect pigeonhole.

Perhaps it’s time for Fab to update options for gender but not sure it will satisfy everyone.

It is everyone’s right to gender themselves, however as others have said there are plenty of people even here on what should be a liberal fab who still reject this idea.

Considering there are about 99 genders the last time I saw a piece on this subject, do you expect fab to add another 99 gender catagories to the site.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
24 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia.

With respect, you talk utter tripe."

Which part?

The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic?

The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex?

The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women?

Please make a coherent point.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uzie69xTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Maidstone

"Which part?

The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic?

The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex?

The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women?

Please make a coherent point."

This reads like...

All Muslims are...

All Blacks are ..

All Gays are...

All Trans are...

It's tripe isn't it?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
24 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Which part?

The fact that having preferences for genitalia isn't transphobic?

The fact that many trans people experience violence during dating/sex?

The fact that many gay women have felt coerced into sex with trans women?

Please make a coherent point.

This reads like...

All Muslims are...

All Blacks are ..

All Gays are...

All Trans are...

It's tripe isn't it?"

You appear to conflate the word 'many' with the word 'all'. I chose my wording carefully. Many is more than a few. I did not use the word 'most'. Certainly not the word 'all'.

I believe that any steps that allow an individual to make a choice based on objective as well as subjective truths is a positive.

I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive.

Try reading the words on the page without the lens of wanting to be offended.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *amantha_JadeWoman
24 weeks ago

Newcastle

I think it would be fairer and more transparent to have additional categories.

Trans woman

Trans man

Non binary

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uzie69xTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Maidstone

"I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive."

As a transphobe you do what many trolls like JK Rowling do (as demonstrated in Scotland where the Police didn't escalate to her trolling). You are careful in your use of "many" not "all" as you want to appear reasonable. I did say it "reads like" so as a trans woman who faces increasing hostility like your posts, I feel qualified to my views.

Yes, there are predatory trans women. As there are predatory police officers. So deal with these minority predators appropriately. Not come on to a discussion about Fab categories and spout your anecdotal hate...!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ssex_tomMan
24 weeks ago

Chelmsford

The problem with answering this question is that it's ridiculous, right.

Now, answer me this: why do you think people are trying to trick you into "meeting unexpected genitalia"?"

Surely you have seen the Crocodile Dundee film.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uzie69xTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Maidstone

"Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did it make you feel when it happened? Do you think fab could do more to make the site more inclusive for Transwomen and Transmen(i.e. subcategories of the main binary genders, etc)?

Any experiences shared would be most appreciated.

Cheers for reading."

Generally speaking as a TS, you'll have to have grit in life as you do here on Fab. Ideally separating out TS from TV/CD would be helpful for me.

I keep getting asked by "Straight" men if my cock gets hard. They've enjoyed being pegged and want to try a real cock but not on a man. I politely say I'm on hormones and if they want to play with hard cocks, I politely suggest they approach a TV/CD. They sometimes come back offended and assert they are not gay ...

I would suggest you go to the film website IMDb and search "Passing". It's a film about a mix race woman who is white enough to "pass" as white. When her racist boyfriend discovers she has negro blood, he kills her. You're left with this sense, of why bother trying to "pass".

So many of us trans women just want to be treated as regular women. But if you spend time on forums like this with transphobes, you just need to "grow a pair" hun... Oh but wait ...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
24 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I believe that any steps that might prevent violence against others is a positive.

Transphobe?

That's a pretty hefty fucking slur.

Have you got anything other than ad hominem attacks?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ssex_tomMan
24 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Has anyone watched the Crocodile Dundee film?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

As a trans man I would absolutely like to see more options than TV/TS/CD being lumped together. Previously I tried this site under that category and despite being very clear who I was in my profile, nearly all the messages I got assumed I was a trans woman.

This time I've listed under the Man category, and again I've been clear in my profile... And still nearly all messages I get are from people who think I'm a trans woman ??

Won't make any difference if I get bumped into a another category. Not unless that category is more specific.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
24 weeks ago

chichester

"Has anyone watched the Crocodile Dundee film?"

I love that film. Ahhh the old days. That’s not a knife

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ssex_tomMan
24 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Dundee had a test for a TV

He grabbed her by the balls

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

As an admirer of all things TS, TV & CD..with a fair bit of experience too … to the more curious of you on this thread, I’d highly recommend Spectrum Night at the Saunabar in Bournemouth. A truly inclusive, fun evening, (even for newbies) with some completely stunning ladies !! But please, please never use the word ‘cock’ …or your inexperience will blind the whole room. Try the more polite ‘girl cock’ and girl pussy / ass pussy if it crops up in coversation. In ‘play,’ just be a gentleman and ask if they enjoy their gc being touched … if you know, you know. You’re welcome.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"As an admirer of all things TS, TV & CD..with a fair bit of experience too … to the more curious of you on this thread, I’d highly recommend Spectrum Night at the Saunabar in Bournemouth. A truly inclusive, fun evening, (even for newbies) with some completely stunning ladies !! But please, please never use the word ‘cock’ …or your inexperience will blind the whole room. Try the more polite ‘girl cock’ and girl pussy / ass pussy if it crops up in coversation. In ‘play,’ just be a gentleman and ask if they enjoy their gc being touched … if you know, you know. You’re welcome. "

As a femboy, if someone called my dick a "girlcock", they'd get a punch in the face (Not really, just using this phrase to voice displeasure). Instead of just randomly insulting people's genitalia, we should just ask what term they prefer. I wouldn't randomly go up to a tomboy and ask if I can fondle her Man Vag.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Hence the phrase … “if it crops up in conversation,”…… it was also a steer to one of the earlier posters, to avoid using the word ‘cock,’ which is a true red flag. Have to add, this is based on experience, not fantasy. You’re welcome …. ??

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Hence the phrase … “if it crops up in conversation,”…… it was also a steer to one of the earlier posters, to avoid using the word ‘cock,’ which is a true red flag. Have to add, this is based on experience, not fantasy. You’re welcome …. ?? "

Your experience with the elderly LGBT groups is clearly different to my experience with groups around my age.

In my groups (mostly trans people and femboys), those words you used are mostly just fetish/chaser words that are seen as red flags.

The word cock isn't really an issue for alot of LGBT people especially from my generation.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

“Girlcock”

Think I just threw up a little bit.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Hate to disagree with you .. but you’re wrong… on many counts, in fact on all counts. I’ll leave you to it … You’re welcome .. enjoy.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Hate to disagree with you .. but you’re wrong… on many counts, in fact on all counts. I’ll leave you to it … You’re welcome .. enjoy. "

Okay chaser.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *helovesitwetCouple
24 weeks ago

brighton

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 17:38:55]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *helovesitwetCouple
24 weeks ago

brighton

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 17:38:41]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"“Girlcock”

Think I just threw up a little bit. "

So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"As a femboy, if someone called my dick a "girlcock", they'd get a punch in the face (Not really, just using this phrase to voice displeasure). Instead of just randomly insulting people's genitalia, we should just ask what term they prefer. I wouldn't randomly go up to a tomboy and ask if I can fondle her Man Vag."

Man vag deserve a fondle too, human rights

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Her words not mine .. once again, based on experience … not fantasy. You’re welcome …

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Prefer the term ‘admirer’ … but.. none taken.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Prefer the term ‘admirer’ … but.. none taken. "

Well I admire you for sticking with it considering the amount of vitriol you may experience going for femboys

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Maybe I’ll see them at the next Spectrum night in Bournemouth… A ‘real’ event with ‘real’ people … Even elderly LGBTQ folk are allowed in.. it’s an inclusive space. !!!! Do come and say Hi…. ??

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Maybe I’ll see them at the next Spectrum night in Bournemouth… A ‘real’ event with ‘real’ people … Even elderly LGBTQ folk are allowed in.. it’s an inclusive space. !!!! Do come and say Hi…. ?? "

I have to admit when you were referred to as elderly I was expecting a man in 60s or 70s, made me laugh seeing you only in late 40s. But femboys are some of the most vicious segments of the ever expanding ‘LGBT+’, does not impact me though as I have the easy life of Masc4Masc

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

It did make me laugh. Don’t even know where to begin, to unwrap the layers of bias within that phrase ‘elderly LGBT!’ Plus, I can respond from a place of confidence, having just come out of a relationship with a beautiful, stunning pre op Tgirl of …. 27 !!! She would literally have a fit to be referred to as elderly. #Bournemouthlife !!! Take care

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *xcited And CuriousCouple
24 weeks ago

Dublin

Mr here.

Can't forget Ted's comments to John...

"They aren't chicks with dicks, they're guys with tits".

One of the posters on this thread is gorgeous, has fantastic tits and a great dick.

For me, if I search on here for "woman" or if I click into a profile in the woman category, I don't expect or want to see a penis.

For me, to present yourself on a site like this (where expression of preference is a fundamental facet of the whole thing) as a woman when you have a penis is deceitful, regardless of how you feel or identity or how you want to be perceived.

In the context of a site like this, how you perceive yourself and how you want to be perceived shouldn't be used as an excuse to deceive other members.

Feel how YOU want, and want to be perceived how YOU want, but be up front, transparent & honest when dealing with OTHERS.

Just my opinion, no offence or judgement intended.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"“Girlcock”

Think I just threw up a little bit.

So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock? "

Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"“Girlcock”

Think I just threw up a little bit.

So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock?

Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male?"

I have no idea but I may add ass pussy to my chat up line database

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"“Girlcock”

Think I just threw up a little bit.

So you don’t want his tongue in your ass pussy while he fondles your girlcock?

Ass pussy. Girlcock. Who are these nonsense terms for? Straight guys who want to feel less gay? Guys in frocks who want to feel less male?

I have no idea but I may add ass pussy to my chat up line database "

Everyone needs a chap up line database. I get enough ads pussy messages I might give it a free pass.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Hey bro, the man vag is alllll yours!

Oh god please don't lump me in with the wokies, I hate their kind. Im just a cunt online because its fun, not for any political reasons.

As for the elderly part, I mean I'm not wrong, statistically speaking he is closer to his death than his birth so I don't think he's exactly young anymore.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Hey Glowupdoll, once again… based on experience (not some keyboard warrior : Rosie Palm and her five sisters wanker type )… these are real terms, used in my last relationship and the one before that .. a stunning 6’3” CD who was married and wanted the safety and security of a club night, specifically for all things Trans and the beauty and joy they bring to the world. You really should not throw your weight around on here … I openly invite you down to Bournemouth, we could go to Spectrum together. The TGirl host is the most fabulous girl I’ve ever met …. Play nicely Glowupdoll… P x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I really do despair sometimes.. and listening to first hand accounts, of how hard things are for TS, TV & CD’s out there … and how much they get abused … it’s a shame some can’t see a genuine admirer and supporter. #Bournemouthlife … life goes on ……

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest "

Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"Hey Glowupdoll, once again… based on experience (not some keyboard warrior : Rosie Palm and her five sisters wanker type )… these are real terms, used in my last relationship and the one before that .. a stunning 6’3” CD who was married and wanted the safety and security of a club night, specifically for all things Trans and the beauty and joy they bring to the world. You really should not throw your weight around on here … I openly invite you down to Bournemouth, we could go to Spectrum together. The TGirl host is the most fabulous girl I’ve ever met …. Play nicely Glowupdoll… P x "

Throw my weight around? I don’t carry any weight on here. And I’m not taking a pop at anyone.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest

Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play"

That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest

Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play

That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me. "

Gonna need to get you some hip padding. I think ass pussy has grown on many of us this fine evening

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Ass pussy is the best !!! No question… Happy Fabbing everyone … x P

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia."

?? agree with that I have no problem with trans people some are very good looking and I'm sure for the most part very nice people. the catagory ts/tv although maybe not as pc as some would want it to be covers all. the people who class themselves as female with male bits and male with female bits if you want identify as what ever that's fine but you can't expect the site to have catagory for all the new genders there just would be room for them all on the page. what's not fine is pretending to be something you are not and as much as I'll be hated for saying this you should get reported for it as its deception.personally if it was down to you would be banned for it. As a straight person I look for female or straight couples. I do not want to find males when I look for females nothing against trans I'm not being transphobic because of that. if anyone hates me for that that's fine I'm OK with that

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
24 weeks ago

peterborough

"The category exists for good reasons. Please do not take the following as a personal attack.

You are also forgetting the potential for violence if an unwitting partner, thinking they are about to have a heteronormative sexual encounter suddenly finds the wrong equipment.

It is my opinion that the category is correct and you should give people the most informed choice about who they wish to have sexual contact with.

Having a sexual preference for the genitalia of your partner is not transphobia.

Lol, you couldn't make it up, just laughable

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hirley147TV/TS
24 weeks ago

Blackpool

Biological sex is a reality. It doesn't matter what you look like, etc. It's not fair on heteronormative people to be misled. It is biologically impossible to change sex. It's like the hans Christian Anderson story of the emperor's new clothes, where people are afraid to say the truth. Men and women are very different, and no amount of medical plastic surgery can change this reality. Just be happy to be a trans person. When have you seen a trans women in a maternity ward?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unchalMan
24 weeks ago

Dartford

"Biological sex is a reality. It doesn't matter what you look like, etc. It's not fair on heteronormative people to be misled. It is biologically impossible to change sex. It's like the hans Christian Anderson story of the emperor's new clothes, where people are afraid to say the truth. Men and women are very different, and no amount of medical plastic surgery can change this reality. Just be happy to be a trans person. When have you seen a trans women in a maternity ward? "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unchalMan
24 weeks ago

Dartford

"Understand that TV/TS category was probably an original if incorrect pigeonhole.

Perhaps it’s time for Fab to update options for gender but not sure it will satisfy everyone.

It is everyone’s right to gender themselves, however as others have said there are plenty of people even here on what should be a liberal fab who still reject this idea.

There really is only a ‘right’ to two things. Call yourself a man or call yourself a woman, and both of those things are based on your biology.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unchalMan
24 weeks ago

Dartford

Being gender critical is protected in law and is not ‘transphobic’. I have a ‘right’ to say there are only two genders and these are based on biological sex. I have right not to go along with any reality bending redefining of gender and sex. A persons Gender Dysphoria is not my problem. I do not have to do anything to make them feel better about themselves and I certainly do not have to unquestioningly accept everything they have to say about their very specific view of world.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

"Well the Femboy had gone, was he/ she/ pushed on their own accord? Less elderly abuse I guess now

Have to be very bendy to push yourself I suggest

Probably years of legs held above head for some ass pussy play

That brings back some fond memories. I’d probably throw a hip if I tried that now. But ass pussy is growing on me.

Gonna need to get you some hip padding. I think ass pussy has grown on many of us this fine evening "

I’m already well padded but more is more

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ranimallxl5Man
24 weeks ago

Winchester

"Being gender critical is protected in law and is not ‘transphobic’. I have a ‘right’ to say there are only two genders and these are based on biological sex. I have right not to go along with any reality bending redefining of gender and sex. A persons Gender Dysphoria is not my problem. I do not have to do anything to make them feel better about themselves and I certainly do not have to unquestioningly accept everything they have to say about their very specific view of world. "

Nice guy

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
24 weeks ago

chichester

On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Offering my newly launched business venture to you… Patrick’s Baby Oil Motorcycle Delivery Service .. Bournemouth is only an hour away ! Ha ha ha

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs "

Your boobs look like they could give a black eye

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
24 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

This has escalated since I was last here

I wonder how many people here discussing this topic have never met a trans woman ever in their life?

Seems to be at the forefront of so many peoples imaginations though despite their lack of relative proximity to the "scene" so to speak.

If I'm not into something, I don't spend every waking hour obsessing over it just saying..

This forum is so toxic

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
24 weeks ago

peterborough

"This has escalated since I was last here

I wonder how many people here discussing this topic have never met a trans woman ever in their life?

Seems to be at the forefront of so many peoples imaginations though despite their lack of relative proximity to the "scene" so to speak.

If I'm not into something, I don't spend every waking hour obsessing over it just saying..

This forum is so toxic

Toxic and boring, nice legs and arse by the way......

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hirley147TV/TS
24 weeks ago

Blackpool

It's not toxic to face biological realities. Women are very different from men. In countless ways. Being a femenine male doesn't mean you are a woman. Pushing the idea that a person can change sex is a lie, which doesn't help people with gender identity issues. You can live and look like the sex you want, but changing sex is a biological impossibility, it's all cosmetic. The happiest trans people I know are the ones who face this reality. Changing a birth certificate is denying biological fact. The problem with the extreme trans movement is that it causes lots of ordinary people to get pissed off by having others push their unrealistic agenda on to them. This is why j k Rowling is vilified. Trans is a different category. That why women get pissed off at being called cis women.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *glyBettyTV/TS
24 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

"This has escalated since I was last here

I wonder how many people here discussing this topic have never met a trans woman ever in their life?

Seems to be at the forefront of so many peoples imaginations though despite their lack of relative proximity to the "scene" so to speak.

If I'm not into something, I don't spend every waking hour obsessing over it just saying..

This forum is so toxic

Toxic and boring, nice legs and arse by the way......"

Why thank you very much, babe

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *orny-DJMan
24 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

I couldn't help noticing, though shouldn't really be very surprised that the majority of responses on this thread are alobg tge lines of how a man might react when being presented with, I believe the term that's been used is 'unexpected genetalia' but I haven't seen one comment that considers how a bi or gay woman might react in such circumstances if meeting someone who they believe to be a woman only to discover that person has a penis, and what the repercusions might be.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hirley147TV/TS
24 weeks ago

Blackpool

Lesbians like women, and women's bodies and emotional response, and women's bits, which is fine. I can understand why they get pissed off at being called prejudiced because they don't want trans women, because understandably they want a woman. Because they are lesbians. But realistically you can easily tell your own sex, because there are loads of differences. Women are very different on a emotional level to, not just physically.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *unseeker100Man
24 weeks ago

batley

Think the only time it is appropriate would be for those who have totally transitioned

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *xcited And CuriousCouple
24 weeks ago

Dublin

"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs "

Great boobs.

While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
24 weeks ago

peterborough

"Think the only time it is appropriate would be for those who have totally transitioned "

I'm a pre-op, but have lived as a woman "legally" for over 10 years. How do you class me then treacle ??

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ransgirl7TV/TS
24 weeks ago

South Devon

Also, no-one talk about how HRT affects both genitals and emotions. People tend to conflate trans genitals with cis genitals which in my experience are a VERY different beauty/beast.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ssex_tomMan
24 weeks ago

Chelmsford

This is really a case of live and let live. Let everyone live their life and admire the courage of the choices some make in a potentially hostile world. It could be your son, your daughter, your best friend. So if you don't want to support or be an ally then that's fine but don't be nasty.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ortyairCouple
24 weeks ago

Wallasey

Like mentioned earlier just add more categorises to include Trans Woman and Trans Men. There could be subgroups to include per op and post op.

Wouldn't that sort out the issue out?

Mrs x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ssex_tomMan
24 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Tom advocates a group for Trans pre and post and another group for TVs

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *inaTitzTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Can someone save me some work and let me know who's made a spanner out of themselves? ta.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ortyairCouple
24 weeks ago

Wallasey

"Think the only time it is appropriate would be for those who have totally transitioned

I'm a pre-op, but have lived as a woman "legally" for over 10 years. How do you class me then treacle ??"
As a pre op trans woman, would that be correct?

Mrs x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *irthandgirthMan
24 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I couldn't help noticing, though shouldn't really be very surprised that the majority of responses on this thread are alobg tge lines of how a man might react when being presented with, I believe the term that's been used is 'unexpected genetalia' but I haven't seen one comment that considers how a bi or gay woman might react in such circumstances if meeting someone who they believe to be a woman only to discover that person has a penis, and what the repercusions might be."

I believe this covers that angle.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-57853385.amp

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *melia DominaTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

The FAB webpages are an old fashioned way of categorisation.

But it cannot be changed without repercussion across the whole site.

So, ultimately, we are stuck with it.

I understand how upsetting it is to be effectively be told, "You're not a woman in the FAB system!"

Especially after all the personal mental and physical struggles day in and out you have had to overcome to be the person you are today.

But in its simplest form, FAB is just another outdated system and I know you will have strong resilience and resolve against it.

But it is people that make FAB.

Not the outdated system.

The community make FAB what it is and generally everyone is accepted for their sexual freedoms (maybe not the misogynistic wank fodder).

If it is really that big a deal am also very sure that FAB can change your category back to woman. No biggy. Shit happens.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Anyone meeting you might want to know your sex. I would. I'd be fuming if I met someone under the impression they were a woman but they weren't.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ortyairCouple
24 weeks ago

Wallasey

"The FAB webpages are an old fashioned way of categorisation.

But it cannot be changed without repercussion across the whole site.

So, ultimately, we are stuck with it.

I understand how upsetting it is to be effectively be told, "You're not a woman in the FAB system!"

Especially after all the personal mental and physical struggles day in and out you have had to overcome to be the person you are today.

But in its simplest form, FAB is just another outdated system and I know you will have strong resilience and resolve against it.

But it is people that make FAB.

Not the outdated system.

The community make FAB what it is and generally everyone is accepted for their sexual freedoms (maybe not the misogynistic wank fodder).

If it is really that big a deal am also very sure that FAB can change your category back to woman. No biggy. Shit happens.

"
Why not expand the categories to include Trans men and woman?

Wouldn't that be more inclusive and a more accurate representation of the situation?

Mrs c

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hirley147TV/TS
24 weeks ago

Blackpool

There are loads of men who like trans women, of all types etc, so why bother trying to be accepted as a genetic woman and risking your dignity and possibly your life?, by hiding the reality.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hirley147TV/TS
24 weeks ago

Blackpool

I would love to take hormones and live full time as a trans women, and eventually hope to achieve this. But I don't delude myself or others about what I am.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I would love to take hormones and live full time as a trans women, and eventually hope to achieve this. But I don't delude myself or others about what I am. "
Well said and good luck with your transition

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *melia DominaTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

"The FAB webpages are an old fashioned way of categorisation.

But it cannot be changed without repercussion across the whole site.

So, ultimately, we are stuck with it.

I understand how upsetting it is to be effectively be told, "You're not a woman in the FAB system!"

Especially after all the personal mental and physical struggles day in and out you have had to overcome to be the person you are today.

But in its simplest form, FAB is just another outdated system and I know you will have strong resilience and resolve against it.

But it is people that make FAB.

Not the outdated system.

The community make FAB what it is and generally everyone is accepted for their sexual freedoms (maybe not the misogynistic wank fodder).

If it is really that big a deal am also very sure that FAB can change your category back to woman. No biggy. Shit happens.

Why not expand the categories to include Trans men and woman?

Wouldn't that be more inclusive and a more accurate representation of the situation?

Mrs c"

Totally.

Over years many have campaigned for change, but nothing has. There will be reasons for it, which the general public might not understand.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
24 weeks ago

chichester

"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs

Great boobs.

While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too...

Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *W2705Man
24 weeks ago

Bournemouth

"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs

Great boobs.

While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too...

Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy "

I’m sure there would be an orderly queue of admirers WiltsTGirl .. but you have the block button set on your profile !

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *S chanel demarTV/TS
24 weeks ago

peterborough

"On a lighter note does anyone have some baby oil so I can oil up my boobs

Great boobs.

While you're at it you could oil up your lovely cock too...

Bring lots of oil and let’s get slippy

I’m sure there would be an orderly queue of admirers WiltsTGirl .. but you have the block button set on your profile !

Read her profile .....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately