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Signs you are not in love, but are codependent on others.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
33 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I read an interesting article about the 7 signs that you not in love but are codependent on others, here are the signs:

1 you do all the things.

Healthy relationships have a balance between give and take.

2 Your partner does all the things.

The other side of the coin, when you are in a codependent relationship.

3 You determine your worth by the other person’s needs.

Be honest – what makes you feel good in the relationship you have now?

4 You live in fear of their departure.

No one wants love to ever disappear.

5 You have low self-esteem.

You feel like your value, worth, and morals are not good enough.

6 You dont feel able to make good decisions.

You feel unable to make decisions in thecontext of the relationship.

7 Your partner is abusive.

As I see it, if one is too dependent on the other partner, it cant be a healthy relationship, it should be about 50/50 because nr1 explained it perfectly, a healthy relationship should have a good balance between give and take.

What is your view of it and do you also agree with the points listed or can you think of other points too?

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By *immyinreadingMan
33 weeks ago

henley on thames

Where did you read this?

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

I actually don't believe in 50/50 relationships. It's impossible to give the same to your relationships as sometimes we can lack in certain factors based on other aspects of life. A true partner makes up for the times you can't give and always meets you in the middle. As long as they are showing up in the best capacity they can, it's okay to lean on the other when you need too.

Codependency is more about those relationships becoming a validation of who you are and what your life is about. You will restrict your own needs and emotions to hang on to a person because you don't know how to function without people. Your mood is dependent on how good your relationship is that day or how they decide to show up for you. Your decisions can be based on another person's requirements or how it effects their lives. If you don't have the ability to walk away from people who don't serve you or have the capability of being alone, it's a dangerous and toxic way of living. Are you actually dependent on a person or are they just all you've ever known? People are usually happier when they break that cycle.

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By *immyinreadingMan
33 weeks ago

henley on thames


"I actually don't believe in 50/50 relationships. It's impossible to give the same to your relationships as sometimes we can lack in certain factors based on other aspects of life. A true partner makes up for the times you can't give and always meets you in the middle. As long as they are showing up in the best capacity they can, it's okay to lean on the other when you need too.

Codependency is more about those relationships becoming a validation of who you are and what your life is about. You will restrict your own needs and emotions to hang on to a person because you don't know how to function without people. Your mood is dependent on how good your relationship is that day or how they decide to show up for you. Your decisions can be based on another person's requirements or how it effects their lives. If you don't have the ability to walk away from people who don't serve you or have the capability of being alone, it's a dangerous and toxic way of living. Are you actually dependent on a person or are they just all you've ever known? People are usually happier when they break that cycle."

Well explained.

Co-dependency is a real thing, and a serious matter, not something that can be identified through a flimsy “7 signs” article in a magazine.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
33 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I actually don't believe in 50/50 relationships. It's impossible to give the same to your relationships as sometimes we can lack in certain factors based on other aspects of life. A true partner makes up for the times you can't give and always meets you in the middle. As long as they are showing up in the best capacity they can, it's okay to lean on the other when you need too.

Codependency is more about those relationships becoming a validation of who you are and what your life is about. You will restrict your own needs and emotions to hang on to a person because you don't know how to function without people. Your mood is dependent on how good your relationship is that day or how they decide to show up for you. Your decisions can be based on another person's requirements or how it effects their lives. If you don't have the ability to walk away from people who don't serve you or have the capability of being alone, it's a dangerous and toxic way of living. Are you actually dependent on a person or are they just all you've ever known? People are usually happier when they break that cycle."
Yes, you are right there, it could be hard to give the same to the relationship all the time, those are also good points too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
33 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

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