FabSwingers.com forum: We've told someone about our lifestyle.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Question is what did they say when you told them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Totally supportive. And in her own words, envious!

Guess even after everything we've experienced since this time last year, we were cautious.

She now sees L in a new light!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a hard thing to tell people , but sometimes the reaction you get is also a surprise , I told my elder sister and she is always asking me questions and curious, would never tell the younger one though she is too much of a prude

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

Takes a lot to share information like that with someone even close friends and I think a lot of people like the idea but fear there is a stigma attached to swinging but we aren't living in the 1920's anymore

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I have a small group of friends and sisters I love dearly who I trust but I don't feel the need to share every aspect of my life.

My private life is just that: private. I don't discuss my bank balance either. Personally I don't feel comfortable around people that feel the need to share information it's not my business to know, but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best mate knows, but that's only because she is on this site too (also its a safety net for when i do meet someone, she knows all the details and checks in once, as i do her)..

My family n friends need not know my personal sexual activities. That's something i'm not prepared to share.

I'm not ashamed of my lifestyle, i just think if ppl were more felaxed and open about sex, i wouldn't have a prolem telling anyone, but they not. So i dont....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a small group of friends and sisters I love dearly who I trust but I don't feel the need to share every aspect of my life.

Precisely the reason for the post. We've never told anyone. Yet we felt we wanted to with her. It's a strange one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single fem I like to have a safety net also, and that's exactly what my sister is for me,, I can trust her more than anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single fem I like to have a safety net also, and that's exactly what my sister is for me,, I can trust her more than anyone. "

As single women, i think its important at least one person knows your lifestyle.. Just for that safety net to be in place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single fem I like to have a safety net also, and that's exactly what my sister is for me,, I can trust her more than anyone. "

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

Who needs shallow friends ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

Wow, then he clearly wasn't a friend then and your better off without.

You dont have to agree with someone/something to support them/it !!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"As a single fem I like to have a safety net also, and that's exactly what my sister is for me,, I can trust her more than anyone. "

I'm a single woman also and I don't meet new people often. When I do I tell my sister I'm going on a date.

I do not meet men without googling them. One man I found his address, phone number, email address...on a list of contributors to the BNP. Another was pictured being presented with a trophy for winning a golf tournament...with his wife he omitted to tell me he had.

I get them to send me a pic of themselves to my phone. I whatsap it to my sister, telling her this is my date. Bearing in mind I always meet for a social coffee first in a place with hundreds of cctv cameras. It's only when I'm meeting at mine my sister gets the info but she thinks they pick me up to go out.

It works for me, keeping myself safe as much as I can without having to divulge my private business.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Four of my best friends know, one right from the start as my safety net. One of my friends calls it my pervert life, but in a jovial non judgmental way - with my current health issues she's volunteered to come on two fab camping trips, though only on the condition that people understand she's there only for the social aspect and to support me.

Another of my friends who knows is an ordained member of the clergy!

I also told my nurse specialist. Partially just out of devillment!

She kept saying "really?" "really really?" of course as a medical professional it's confidential.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

wow !!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

wow !! "

This also happened to a good male friend of mine when he told a 'friend' of many years that he was bi.

When i told my lesbian bessie mate that i had discovered an interest in bi guys her face was a picture! She then went and announced my perversion to a room full of lesbians who all expressed disgust anxious how could i!?! The upshot is that they think my taste is bizarre but since they already think Im a bit odd as the only straight in the village then Im tolerated!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

baffles me why peoples sex lives are of such importance to people who you consider to be friends

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By *eaverfeverCouple
over a year ago

nr Manchester

We told our friends a cpl well I didnt b did pissed up lol and we both wish she never cos they never stop going on about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't say anything to my friends. whilst we talk and joke about sex at times, its always about the broad spectrum of sex rather than personal experience.

I don't want to know about their sex life either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As single women, i think its important at least one person knows your lifestyle.. Just for that safety net to be in place!"

and as a single man

my best friend knows the site and profile name of whoever i meet along with an address if i am meeting at theirs.

if they are coming to me, i insist on a mobile number and that they text me off it before they arrive

it has lost me some meets but tbh i am prepared to walk away if they wont or cant play ball

men are in just as much risk as women imho, if not more so as they often think with their cock and do not fully consider their personal security if there is a chance of getting it sucked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/13 06:48:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good on you OP for mustering up the courage to tell sum1

i know it isnt for everyone, especially those with families, but i get why you would want to make a close friend aware of the basics

i don't have a great number of friends so those i do have tend to know me intimately

i want them to know all of me, just not the conventional side of me

to achieve that you don't have to be specific, just honest when asked

that was what tipped it for me - i got tired of making up excuses to them if i was off 'doing my thing' and tbh since i have told them, i have not had 1, male or female, question it or react badly to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep my private life private but totally agree with informing somebody if there is a need or the fact that you want to.

I at this time feel that this is something I will not be sharing with anybody but that may not always be the case in the future.

Happy swinging nonetheless

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?"

I would like try and answer your question but may I please first ask what triggered your desire to share with her now and who suggested it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?

I would like try and answer your question but may I please first ask what triggered your desire to share with her now and who suggested it? "

Certainly. It was L's decision, though we discussed it a fair bit since starring this adventure (which is what we call it).

I think as they've both been there for each other all their adult lives, it seemed the natural thing to do; she'd been through a horrible divorce from a violent guy, so in the general scheme of things I'm sure our little secret is just that - little!

Mind you, it took L a bottle of champagne to let it out

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?

I would like try and answer your question but may I please first ask what triggered your desire to share with her now and who suggested it?

Certainly. It was L's decision, though we discussed it a fair bit since starring this adventure (which is what we call it).

Mind you, it took L a bottle of champagne to let it out

Merci for answering. If I was that person, I'd feel honoured and proud to have friends like you. And if I had my own secret I would feel sure that I could share it with you. Sometimes you need advice or just a friendly ear, someone you trust not to judge you! I hope you all feel a stronger bond with each others. What a great post, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a small group of friends and sisters I love dearly who I trust but I don't feel the need to share every aspect of my life.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't feel the need to say anything. Any advice I think I need I ask a couple of friends on here. So thanks to them x

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By *reenonionsMan
over a year ago

Nr Exeter

If you feel the need to share this kind of information than cool.

Personally, discretion and privacy are more important to me.

Sex with someone even a swinging situation is more than just fucking - it means somethin special is shared and I don't want the world to know

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 24/03/13 08:48:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were discussing this earlier... We have nothing to hide and if people found out it'd be no big deal. I've told my closest female friends and my male best friend and no one battered an eyelid. We've seen people we know on this site and we just accept they've probably seen us too. It's never been brought up because we respect each others privacy x

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

That's really awful to hear. I dare say many of mine would treat equally

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I think there is a HUGE difference between singles, who are just to all intents and purposes 'shagging around' and being a couple.... and thus a difference in the risk of telling friends and family.

Society almost expects single people to hook-up for a shag, but applies a different set of expectations to man and wife.

I think it's generally quite brave of couples to share their extra-sexual interests with friends.... but also risky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told a old friend I got back in touch with last year about this she was totally supportive and she met a guy off her (she isnt on here) but they arent together now. My best friend of 44 years, I only told in October because I didnt know how she would react, I showed her my profile and did feel really strange but she was totally supportive because she knows things about my husband that no-one else does and said just go for it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?"

The deleted message is cos I hit the post button without saying anything

Did you feel the need to 'share' the first time you had sex with each other?

If you 'waited a year' to share about your sexual lifestyle, did you wait because you didn't want to be judged by others ? Or did you share because you sought approval?

Sometimes when people share they want a weight of their shoulders, they don't want secrets , they want to be courageous and be out there and be accepted. Is that why you needed to share ?

You say you don't know why you wanted to share with her. Could the reason be that she could be the missing link in a FFM that you'd all enjoy ?

Im wary about things that are shared after 'a whole bottle of champagne' It's hardly then a rational decision to confide in a friend and more a booze induced inability to keep schtum.

Im glad she is a very good and trustworthy friend and that she was very supportive. Had she been drinking too ?

People in a room with two others who reveal something do tend to be congratulatory and save their running for the hills until they are free and sober. It would be easier to say 'nice' things when she hasn't even given the subject any sober light of day thought.

People also fall out.

It's a really interesting post. Thanks for sharing.

I'm looking forward to hearing in a years time that it was a great idea to share.

xxxx

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Everyone close to me knows what I get up to - though, obviously, none of the details. I just find it easier that way. Nothing to come back and bite me on the arse later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Threesome?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a friend that knows and to be honest we're quite open about our sexlife ( when she found out she just said oh I'm not surprised ) It actually helps in my

Line of work if people think I'm a dirty mare

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Pretty much all my family knows I swing.

It works for me as I dont need to trust anyone in a relationship as men seem to inevitably let me down so this works x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?

The deleted message is cos I hit the post button without saying anything

Did you feel the need to 'share' the first time you had sex with each other?

If you 'waited a year' to share about your sexual lifestyle, did you wait because you didn't want to be judged by others ? Or did you share because you sought approval?

Sometimes when people share they want a weight of their shoulders, they don't want secrets , they want to be courageous and be out there and be accepted. Is that why you needed to share ?

You say you don't know why you wanted to share with her. Could the reason be that she could be the missing link in a FFM that you'd all enjoy ?

Im wary about things that are shared after 'a whole bottle of champagne' It's hardly then a rational decision to confide in a friend and more a booze induced inability to keep schtum.

Im glad she is a very good and trustworthy friend and that she was very supportive. Had she been drinking too ?

People also fall out.

It's a really interesting post. Thanks for sharing.

I'm looking forward to hearing in a years time that it was a great idea to share.

xxxx

Not going to enter into speculation on whether this is going to bite us in the arse in a year. We could all be dead next week. As for the champagne, it was shared together. I hardly think this makes them both booze addled. It took as long as it took only because we are at heart quite private people. It was just something that L wanted to share, nothing more.

As for the cold light of day inference, the reverse can also be said to be true; what's the phrase, in wine there is truth.

But thank you for your concerns. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All our work colleagues and friends have known we are naturists for years and the world did not stop turning .

After very good meets we are usually bursting to tell someone what we are up to and will one day and fully expect nothing to change , it's our life and we will live it how we want and will not hide what we enjoy like a dirty secret.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

That's very sad sorry that you've lost a friend. 23 years is a long time and you must have shared a lot.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't really discuss our sex life with anyone else except in the most general terms so no one is aware of what we do. I think it's only sensible that single women and men have a safety net in place though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my mum and brother a while ago. I was living with Mum at the time and was failing in my excuses. She has been totally supportive and its allowed her to be open with me about her sex life with her new partner to me. Its actually brought us closer together if anything.

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

The gays next door know, our hairdresser knows (one of the gays next door is her best friend), my best mate knows (we play occasionally) and a girl I used to work with knew (she fancied Mrs JFL something rotten, so we ended up playing with her and her husband)...I think that's it !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that whatever your feelings about being open with family and friends are that you should always be discreet where other people are concerned. Some jobs, some custody cases and some marriages can be put in jeopardy from people knowing so even if you're happy for the world to know you should respect that your play partners might not be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my friends know im on here and i like young guys.. thats why they are my friends cos we accept each other for who we are..

acqauntances dont need to know..

neither does family hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that whatever your feelings about being open with family and friends are that you should always be discreet where other people are concerned. Some jobs, some custody cases and some marriages can be put in jeopardy from people knowing so even if you're happy for the world to know you should respect that your play partners might not be."

Think it depends if you tell all the details or people just know you have a alternate lifestyle?

We never discuss who or what we do/did with people ( even with our friends who are on here) as we agree discretion is key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Privacy for me has always been a very valuable thing, things that I value highly I would rarely give away cheaply.

So when I see others 'giving away' their privacy I often find myself questioning their motives (Granny Crumpets post probably covered the questions that jumped into my head).

Nothing at all wrong with sharing some of your most private personal information if that's what you want to do, but what's the motive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend also knows and my son, and all that was said was "As long as i stay safe why should anybody worry about what you get up in life"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one knows its my private life for a reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single."

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

we haven't voluntarily told anyone, but we have playmates who have been quite open about their lifestyle, and by association we've been outed to some of our mutual vanilla friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"we haven't voluntarily told anyone, but we have playmates who have been quite open about their lifestyle, and by association we've been outed to some of our mutual vanilla friends.

I think that you shouldn't kiss and tell no matter what your lifestyle. Great if you want to discuss your private life with people I have no problem with that but naming your partners isn't on in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?"

I didn't say they didn't - I asked why they'd be bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of peeps I work with know I have a dark/naughty side. However, they respect what I do in private, is private, and it has no bearings on my performance at work.

We may joke or laugh about it from time to time, like when I go into work with a smile on my face after a weekend etc...

However, I do not go into details about what I get up to, unless I am specifically asked about it.

If I am asked, I would tell, as I believe I have nothing to hide.

They were genuinely surprised when I told them I only had 4 meets last year, as they thought I was a rampant rabbit and needed sex all the time!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?

I didn't say they didn't - I asked why they'd be bothered."

Sorry, I thought you said you didn't understand why they would be bothered and I think that single people are as entitled to be bothered as couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

"
his loss friends for over 23 yrs and he just walks away, I would expect a True friend too still be a friend no matter what you sexuality preference turns out to be, better off without him we would say

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have a couple of friends that know... Just purely because I can use them as a safety net just in case, never needed to thank god!

If we are going out and I have something already arranged I just say I have a meet and see you after and leave it at that.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?

I didn't say they didn't - I asked why they'd be bothered.

Sorry, I thought you said you didn't understand why they would be bothered and I think that single people are as entitled to be bothered as couples. "

What I said is written above and was quoted by you - it hasn't changed!

I'm not single, I don't understand. I tend to think if I was single I wouldn't share what I do, but that I wouldn't feel too concerned if people were to discover.

But as I said - I'm not single, hence I don't understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?

I didn't say they didn't - I asked why they'd be bothered.

Sorry, I thought you said you didn't understand why they would be bothered and I think that single people are as entitled to be bothered as couples. "

Singles meeting other singles for sex? That'll be viewed by others as the norm - although if you're at it more than others there's the old 'promiscuous' tag, regardless of sex.

Singles meeting couples, groups, attending clubs or parties/orgies/gang bangs, or indulging in same sex fun - the list is endless - will be viewed I guess in a similar way to many couples by those with normal attitudes. So yes - singles don't have the same hurdle of 'but you're married and sleep with others?' to get over - but being single and in this 'lifestyle' still raises issues with confiding in others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

I've experienced a very similar and it's horrible isn't it?

2 of my oldest friends dating back from school visited me when I lived in kentish town. When I walked passed Rio's with them I jokingly said "and there's my local swinging club if you fancy it later". And the reaction was a huge rant about why swinging is wrong and only perverts and sick fuckers with something missing in their lives swung. While they never sussed my involvement their reaction was enough to cloud our friendship. And these were people that I felt were very liberal and i would have guessed would have not been bothered in the slightest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single.

Single people are as entitled to keep their private life private the same as couples I would have thought. What's to understand?

I didn't say they didn't - I asked why they'd be bothered.

Sorry, I thought you said you didn't understand why they would be bothered and I think that single people are as entitled to be bothered as couples.

Singles meeting other singles for sex? That'll be viewed by others as the norm - although if you're at it more than others there's the old 'promiscuous' tag, regardless of sex.

That makes perfect sense - thanks

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"She's actually L's best mate. But it's still taken us a year to share this information.

Though we aren't in any way ashamed of who we are, it still took a lot to tell her.

So.

Does this say more about us or her?"

It will say plenty about her if she accepts the fact your still the people she liked before she knew..

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"we haven't voluntarily told anyone, but we have playmates who have been quite open about their lifestyle, and by association we've been outed to some of our mutual vanilla friends.

You see, that's why I avoid people that discuss their private life freely as they'd discuss mine.

I find it strange some people equate being private to being ashamed or if your single having a revolving door shouldn't be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

I've experienced a very similar and it's horrible isn't it?

Hmmmmmm those who protest the loudest methinks.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone single feel they'd need to hide that they meet other people and sometimes have sex with them?

Although I'm in the 'keep your private life private' camp, so not advocating raising a flag, but I don't understand why you'd be at all bothered when single."

I don't want anyone knowing about what I do because my sex life is private and personal. It's no-one else's business. But also, it may be different for single men but a single woman meeting people for sex is most definitely frowned upon round here. That is their opinion and that is fine. But if they found out about me it would also affect my kids and that is not ok with me at all.

And for the people above that got 'outed', that's disgusting. I have no problem at all with people being happy to discuss their own lives. But to reveal someone else's private life..... That's just wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to a hen night recently with my work colleagues, and one of the games was "Have you ever...", and the very last question out of 20 was "Have you ever been to a swingers party?", and I was the only one standing!

I was not going to lie about it, and they knew beforehand anyway, including my one-over-one boss!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I dont shout about it, if anyone were to ask, id be honest.....

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Like everything else in life, if someone needs to know something about us, we'll tell them, if not, we won't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

I've experienced a very similar and it's horrible isn't it?

I've had a similar experience with what I thought too were 'liberal minded' friends (well, not friends now). I just tested the water and it was genuinely surprising how quickly I found the limits of where their liberalism became sanctimony, and I got a lecture from one on the immorality of swinging.

Did wonder just how that same person knew so much about it... still have a sneaking suspicion that they had 'dabbled' and got burned..

But to answer the OP's original question, no I have never confided in anyone. It's my private life and stays that way. I have seen and heard of far too many who have made the mistake of telling someone who they trusted, only to have it used against them at some point down the line...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

Wow, then he clearly wasn't a friend then and your better off without.

You dont have to agree with someone/something to support them/it !!

agreed, says a lot about a person to just drop someone because they are different..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/13 14:43:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My best friend also knows and my son, and all that was said was "As long as i stay safe why should anybody worry about what you get up in life"

Yeah, and I still reckon you should bring that 'best friend' of yours round to mine for a 3some

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

That's very sad sorry that you've lost a friend. 23 years is a long time and you must have shared a lot."

We had been on holiday together several times including camping trips on our motorbikes, not once did I feel the urge to visit his tent in the middle of the night. If I hadn't told him he would never have known

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When I told my best mate of 23yrs that I was bi, 2 years ago, he completely disowned me & we haven't spoken since

That's very sad sorry that you've lost a friend. 23 years is a long time and you must have shared a lot.

He must have deep issues, some guys do its almost as if its catching lol. Maybe he'll see the error of his ways, would you accept him back in to your life if he approached you?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Hell yes, but I don't think it's gonna happen anytime soon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hell yes, but I don't think it's gonna happen anytime soon "

A good friend once said to me (on a not unrelated subject):

Sometimes in life, you have to know when to walk away. Friendships included.

I do miss him.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

One of my favourite sayings is "A man's gotta know his limitations"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of my favourite sayings is "A man's gotta know his limitations"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of my favourite sayings is "A man's gotta know his limitations"

Had to google it as it was bugging me.

It's from Magnum Force.

Phew, can rest easy now!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Totally supportive. And in her own words, envious!

Guess even after everything we've experienced since this time last year, we were cautious.

She now sees L in a new light!"

THE THREESOME IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG YO!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a very private person these days and have absolutely no desire whatsoever so speak with anybody about my sex life, be it 'swinging' or otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Totally supportive. And in her own words, envious!

Guess even after everything we've experienced since this time last year, we were cautious.

She now sees L in a new light!

THE THREESOME IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG YO!!!!!"

Nah. They're both straight and I don't think of her that way. She's more like sister really. Fair point though!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Went to a hen night recently with my work colleagues, and one of the games was "Have you ever...", and the very last question out of 20 was "Have you ever been to a swingers party?", and I was the only one standing!

I was not going to lie about it, and they knew beforehand anyway, including my one-over-one boss!

I always win that game at vanilla parties! My mates all know I have sex with lots of people, often more than one at a time and that I'm bisexual, they're curious about clubs/parties etc, but I don't go into any great detail regarding the people I meet

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I had to have a Developed Vetting (higher security clearance) for my job where you are interviewed mainly to see if there's anything you could be blackmailed with - I told the interviewer I was bisexual and promiscous and that I'd been on swinging sites before. She asked if I told folk I was bisexual and I said I didn't introduce myself by saying "Hi I'm Caz and I'm AC/DC" and did she introduce herself as straight (if indeed she was). I said I'd prefer my parents not to know as they're elderly, but they're also upright and honest and I think they'd eventually prefer to have a bisexual tart of a daughter than a daughter who could be pressurised into breaking the law rather than having that information come out. It's come up in conversation with a couple of workmates and I've stated that I'm bi and had no problems with that

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