FabSwingers.com forum: Heartbroken for a different reasons

By *asisfan25 OP Man
33 weeks ago

Essex

Hey everyone, this was inspired by another thread about being heartbroken, but I thought I’d make one for people who have felt heartbroken for reasons other than being in a relationship.

I often feel kind of heartbroken. I don’t really know what causes me to feel like that, but whenever I meet someone that I might feel attracted to or just trying to make friendships, I think getting attached is a good way to describe it. I’ve been this way for a long time. I think maybe it’s because I’ve had mild ASD and ADHD since I was a child and found it difficult to make friendships or even romantically. I’ve found it difficult, as I’ve found flirting doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’m better at it now. My mental health issues have made it even harder to meet people, as I started struggling at the start of COVID, and the lockdown made me extremely isolated. My mental health is massively improving, but I still don’t have any friends. I don’t mind being honest about this, but I’ve never had a girlfriend or been in any relationship. I’ve had sex on a one-night stand but regret it, as I wish I’d waited for when I was in a relationship.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
33 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't regret what happens.

You had sex.

Soon you will have friends and intimate relationships.

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By *parkle1974Woman
33 weeks ago

Leeds

Hopefully with your MH improving OP you will be able to get yourself out more and hopefully start making new friends and building relationships.

Good luck.

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By *asisfan25 OP Man
33 weeks ago

Essex

"Don't regret what happens.

You had sex.

Soon you will have friends and intimate relationships. "
You’re right! I probably regret it less now, as it was quite a few years ago, and it happened when I was drinking. I’m 4 months sober now, so I’m less likely to make dumb decisions and more likely to meet people and make real connections.

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By *asisfan25 OP Man
33 weeks ago

Essex

"Hopefully with your MH improving OP you will be able to get yourself out more and hopefully start making new friends and building relationships.

Good luck."
Thanks Sparkle, my life is improving massively. I don’t actually want to or feel ready to have a relationship, but hopefully, I’ll make connections with people on fab or at clubs, and through other ways.

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By *issmorganWoman
33 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I agree with sparkle, if things are on the up for you op, you can plan things to look forward to.

Relationships will come in good time, you're working on yourself which is the best thing to do first.

I do believe our happiness comes from within ourselves, rather than from people or jobs, although they can both contribute to good and bad mh.

It's great you're getting your confidence up and joining in on here and hopefully you can make some connections.

I hope all goes well

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Sounds like you are seeking validation from other people which ultimately affects you more when these relationships don't go your way. Most of our feelings come from within ourselves which we can project on to others to avoid confronting it. You need to focus on you, build your self confidence and self esteem. Once you are in a place where you're not afraid to walk away from people who don't serve you because you know what you bring to the table, those feelings will pass.

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By *asisfan25 OP Man
33 weeks ago

Essex

"Sounds like you are seeking validation from other people which ultimately affects you more when these relationships don't go your way. Most of our feelings come from within ourselves which we can project on to others to avoid confronting it. You need to focus on you, build your self confidence and self esteem. Once you are in a place where you're not afraid to walk away from people who don't serve you because you know what you bring to the table, those feelings will pass.

"
Agree with alot of what you said. I’m better than when I was younger but just felt like making a thread to see if anyone struggled with similar and hopefully I didn’t come in a bad way

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