FabSwingers.com forum: Would you meet someone you're not attracted to for kinks?

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??

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By *tlanshiaWoman
26 weeks ago

Chatham

No, I have to have an attraction and trust with someone I am going to engage in bdsm with. I would never meet or play with anyone I wasn't attracted too.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
26 weeks ago

Leeds

No, I need attraction.

Mrs

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By *bxanfCouple
26 weeks ago

Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, Stourbridge

No, the attraction needs to be there.

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By *oulderingBearMan
26 weeks ago

Falme

Interesting proposition.

I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.

I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.

As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).

When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided.

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By *orny-DJMan
26 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Nope

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By *imply DeeWoman
26 weeks ago

Wherever

I tried, I couldn’t. I need an attraction on more than physical level as well.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Central

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By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 02/04/24 09:24:16]

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By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

"Interesting proposition.

I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.

I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.

As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).

When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided. "

Thank you. Yes this is the kind of scenario I was thinking of or similar...

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By *etal and KinkMan
26 weeks ago

Malice

"Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??"

Yes but this is usually because kink comes with a pre-play discussion.

But, not if things could get sexual. Little metal needs something to be inspired by.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
26 weeks ago

Cheshire

Yes and I have in the past. Generally it was for a photo session in which bondage was involved. But it was agreed in advance, the guy was well known for his skills and being trustworthy.

When I attended fetish clubs / munches I often met and engaged with people I had no attraction to. I generally find the BDSM community quite respectful of boundaries and consent. There will be exceptions but in the main it’s generally a safe place, in my experience.

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By *hriscooperMan
26 weeks ago

Warrington

There has to be an attraction of some sort for me. Physically, mentally or intellectually.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

No.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
26 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

For information and discussion, yes. To try them with that person, probably not. My kinks are too intertwined with sex to explore that with someone I'm not attracted to.

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By *aughtyboi11Man
26 weeks ago

leeds

For me there has to be a deep connection and attraction, plus tons of trust.

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By *midnight-Woman
26 weeks ago

...

Maybe - I'm not planning to marry them after all !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
26 weeks ago

East Sussex

Probably not.

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By *eliWoman
26 weeks ago

Similar to Julie. It's also because BDSM isn't something I could do casually. If I could I know I'd be far more... open to experiencing it with anyone regardless of physical attraction.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
26 weeks ago

Cumbria

Not for us, there are plenty of people who enjoy BDSM for the sake of it but for us the fun is in the sex and kink intertwined, not separate.

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By *tsJustKateWoman
26 weeks ago

London

Yes. I don't judge someone's attraction on their looks like most seem to.

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By *rHotNottsMan
26 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

My experience of kink scene is this happens a lot , it’s not for me but I can understand there doesn't need be any sexual attraction to do kink together

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By *emorefridaCouple
26 weeks ago

La la land

Depends, there are some kink things I want to learn about, by people who are knowledgeable about the subject. In this case I'm going to learn from an individual, to me how they look etc isn't important, it's their knowledge and ability to teach that is.

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By *rHotNottsMan
26 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I just remembered I have actually done in the past

totally forgot about it!

It was fun but wouldn’t go there again , kink without sex / relationship doesn’t interest me anymore

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By *a LunaWoman
26 weeks ago

South

Not for me. Once I get wet I want that dicking.

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By *evonspankMan
26 weeks ago

Tiverton

Absolutely.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
26 weeks ago

Okehampton

Not for me, I’m looking for someone quite specific (and will probably never find) but I have had meetings with people that didn’t tick the boxes. It didn’t really work as I didn’t feel completely comfortable

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By *oubletroubleCouple
26 weeks ago

South West

Yes depending on what the kink was .

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By *allandathleticMan
26 weeks ago

Asgard

Possibly. But there'd have to he attraction. Either to the idea of the kink or to the individual.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
26 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

For a strictly non-sexual session, sexual attraction would be irrelevant for me so yes i would. However there'd have to be some other connection between us, I couldn't just do it with a random because they've got nice kit.

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By *ewcatWoman
26 weeks ago

Berkshire

For non sexual, in certain situations yes. So stuff like being a rope bunny for people learning and practicing their ties. Teaching things to others is also non sexual.

Arranging a meet with a new person for BDSM alone wouldn’t happen. I need to build a bond and a connection to go down rabbit holes and that needs attraction.

So for me unless it’s educational or a good friend wants to try something in a safe space then no I definitely need to be attracted to the person.

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By *andynecklaceWoman
26 weeks ago

West Brom

Nope

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By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

"Not for me. Once I get wet I want that dicking."

I can always use the husband for that.

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By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

"Possibly. But there'd have to he attraction. Either to the idea of the kink or to the individual."

There is a lot of attraction to the kink lol. Nearly impossible to find peeps who are into that..even one step milder usually freaks people out

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
26 weeks ago

King's Crustacean

Yes.

If it was the kink I am after and 'he' is well turned out e.g hygienic / good personality then why not ...

Not being attracted to someone can be part of the attraction in some cases

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By *oo..Woman
26 weeks ago

Boo's World

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Absolutely yes.

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By *ssex_tomMan
26 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Yes

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Sex and kink are easily separated for me.

Not being sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean I can't trust them or have genuine interest in other things they can do.

I probably wouldn't arrange to meet someone I wasn't attracted to with the intent of doing kink but not sex. Mostly because a lot of people tie the two together and I'd feel a weight of expectation that would keep me out of a good headspace.

But if at an event or club with someone that interests me only that way and with clear distinctions made before engaging, okay.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
26 weeks ago

your head

Yes I could for certain things especially rope.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
26 weeks ago

SW Scotland

Very interesting question !

Not something we’ve ever considered but it would be good to take out the sexual aspect of say a flogging session

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By *otuseater11Man
26 weeks ago

IRVINE

Yes I would and never judge anyone on looks

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
26 weeks ago

Worcester

Yeh I have done before.

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By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
26 weeks ago

Bristol

"Yes.

If it was the kink I am after and 'he' is well turned out e.g hygienic / good personality then why not ...

Not being attracted to someone can be part of the attraction in some cases"

That last bit... Yes, kind of weird but 100%. Now someone explain that.

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
26 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

God yes x

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
26 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

Mind u 95% of people on here do is look at ur pics or talk about it .so safe really lol

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By *istressmystiqueeWoman
26 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Yes.

When I meet the majority of my subs, it's for a power thing as opposed to anything sexual. So as long as there is mutual respect, trust and communication, that's more important to me than dominating someone that's attractive but not actually submissive.

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple
26 weeks ago

carluke

No. There would need to be a connection for us and that’s not just a shared connection in a particular kink

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By *icentiousCouple
26 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

If it was purely B/d play then physical attraction is not paramount, however if it a deeper relationship as in D/s play then it is more holistic and one of the holistic elements is physical attraction, the main driver being intellect connection though.

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By *red333Man
26 weeks ago

Dorchester

Absolutely not sorry

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By *red333Man
26 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Absolutely not sorry

"
unless they begged me of course

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By *OYFBWoman
26 weeks ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

Possibly…

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I have done what I look for in swinging isn't the same as what I look for in a relationship. However it's the kink and their personality I find attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

For me it’s all about the experience and the connection more than the looks. I think the attraction comes from the experience and the connection! X

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