FabSwingers.com forum: Would you meet someone you're not attracted to for kinks?

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tlanshiaWoman
33 weeks ago

Chatham

No, I have to have an attraction and trust with someone I am going to engage in bdsm with. I would never meet or play with anyone I wasn't attracted too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
33 weeks ago

Leeds

No, I need attraction.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

No, the attraction needs to be there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *antam AvershiresMan
33 weeks ago

Falme

Interesting proposition.

I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.

I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.

As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).

When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orny-DJMan
33 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Nope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imply DeeWoman
33 weeks ago

Wherever

I tried, I couldn’t. I need an attraction on more than physical level as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Central

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 02/04/24 09:24:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

"Interesting proposition.

I sent to a shabari workshop yesterday which was supposed to be for solo and singles and had probably a 60/40 ratio of M to F so we ended up some MM partnerships.

I was in no way attracted to the 2 guys I worked with but I did appreciate their work and could envisage a meeting with them involved.

As you have eluded to not all moon play progresses to sexual acts (sexual play was very discouraged yesterday and we did start the session with a talk on consent and appropriate touch etc).

When paired with a lovely lady who did want me to bind her breasts we had defined what I could and could not do, so moving the breast to place rope was fine but nipple contact was to be avoided. "

Thank you. Yes this is the kind of scenario I was thinking of or similar...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etal and KinkMan
33 weeks ago

Malice

"Hi. This one is for the BDSM/fetish community please. Would you meet someone you are not physically attracted to because he is into some kinks you want to try or because they have toys/equipment (or lots of them) you always wanted to try? If so are you open about it and say something like it will only be a BDSM sess and no sex or you just meet for a social and see how it goes??"

Yes but this is usually because kink comes with a pre-play discussion.

But, not if things could get sexual. Little metal needs something to be inspired by.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
33 weeks ago

Cheshire

Yes and I have in the past. Generally it was for a photo session in which bondage was involved. But it was agreed in advance, the guy was well known for his skills and being trustworthy.

When I attended fetish clubs / munches I often met and engaged with people I had no attraction to. I generally find the BDSM community quite respectful of boundaries and consent. There will be exceptions but in the main it’s generally a safe place, in my experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hriscooperMan
33 weeks ago

Warrington

There has to be an attraction of some sort for me. Physically, mentally or intellectually.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

No.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
33 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

For information and discussion, yes. To try them with that person, probably not. My kinks are too intertwined with sex to explore that with someone I'm not attracted to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyboi11Man
33 weeks ago

northampton

For me there has to be a deep connection and attraction, plus tons of trust.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Maybe - I'm not planning to marry them after all !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

Probably not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

Similar to Julie. It's also because BDSM isn't something I could do casually. If I could I know I'd be far more... open to experiencing it with anyone regardless of physical attraction.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
33 weeks ago

Cumbria

Not for us, there are plenty of people who enjoy BDSM for the sake of it but for us the fun is in the sex and kink intertwined, not separate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tsJustKateWoman
33 weeks ago

London

Yes. I don't judge someone's attraction on their looks like most seem to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
33 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

My experience of kink scene is this happens a lot , it’s not for me but I can understand there doesn't need be any sexual attraction to do kink together

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
33 weeks ago

La la land

Depends, there are some kink things I want to learn about, by people who are knowledgeable about the subject. In this case I'm going to learn from an individual, to me how they look etc isn't important, it's their knowledge and ability to teach that is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
33 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I just remembered I have actually done in the past

totally forgot about it!

It was fun but wouldn’t go there again , kink without sex / relationship doesn’t interest me anymore

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
33 weeks ago

South Wales

Not for me. Once I get wet I want that dicking.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evonspankMan
33 weeks ago

Tiverton

Absolutely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecadent_DevonMan
33 weeks ago

Okehampton

Not for me, I’m looking for someone quite specific (and will probably never find) but I have had meetings with people that didn’t tick the boxes. It didn’t really work as I didn’t feel completely comfortable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubletroubleCouple
33 weeks ago

South West

Yes depending on what the kink was .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allandathleticMan
33 weeks ago

Asgard

Possibly. But there'd have to he attraction. Either to the idea of the kink or to the individual.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onderWomanWlvWoman
33 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

For a strictly non-sexual session, sexual attraction would be irrelevant for me so yes i would. However there'd have to be some other connection between us, I couldn't just do it with a random because they've got nice kit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ewcatWoman
33 weeks ago

Berkshire

For non sexual, in certain situations yes. So stuff like being a rope bunny for people learning and practicing their ties. Teaching things to others is also non sexual.

Arranging a meet with a new person for BDSM alone wouldn’t happen. I need to build a bond and a connection to go down rabbit holes and that needs attraction.

So for me unless it’s educational or a good friend wants to try something in a safe space then no I definitely need to be attracted to the person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andynecklaceWoman
33 weeks ago

West Brom

Nope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

"Not for me. Once I get wet I want that dicking."

I can always use the husband for that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

"Possibly. But there'd have to he attraction. Either to the idea of the kink or to the individual."

There is a lot of attraction to the kink lol. Nearly impossible to find peeps who are into that..even one step milder usually freaks people out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
33 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Yes.

If it was the kink I am after and 'he' is well turned out e.g hygienic / good personality then why not ...

Not being attracted to someone can be part of the attraction in some cases

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oo..Woman
33 weeks ago

Boo's World

Nope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Absolutely yes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
33 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
33 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Sex and kink are easily separated for me.

Not being sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean I can't trust them or have genuine interest in other things they can do.

I probably wouldn't arrange to meet someone I wasn't attracted to with the intent of doing kink but not sex. Mostly because a lot of people tie the two together and I'd feel a weight of expectation that would keep me out of a good headspace.

But if at an event or club with someone that interests me only that way and with clear distinctions made before engaging, okay.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
33 weeks ago

your head

Yes I could for certain things especially rope.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razytimesinloveCouple
33 weeks ago

SW Scotland

Very interesting question !

Not something we’ve ever considered but it would be good to take out the sexual aspect of say a flogging session

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otuseater11Man
33 weeks ago

IRVINE

Yes I would and never judge anyone on looks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
33 weeks ago

Worcester

Yeh I have done before.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etKatproject88 OP Woman
33 weeks ago

Bristol

"Yes.

If it was the kink I am after and 'he' is well turned out e.g hygienic / good personality then why not ...

Not being attracted to someone can be part of the attraction in some cases"

That last bit... Yes, kind of weird but 100%. Now someone explain that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubcdverykinkyMan
33 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

God yes x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubcdverykinkyMan
33 weeks ago

Bourne lincs

Mind u 95% of people on here do is look at ur pics or talk about it .so safe really lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istressmystiqueeWoman
33 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Yes.

When I meet the majority of my subs, it's for a power thing as opposed to anything sexual. So as long as there is mutual respect, trust and communication, that's more important to me than dominating someone that's attractive but not actually submissive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyropecoupleCouple
33 weeks ago

carluke

No. There would need to be a connection for us and that’s not just a shared connection in a particular kink

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
33 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

If it was purely B/d play then physical attraction is not paramount, however if it a deeper relationship as in D/s play then it is more holistic and one of the holistic elements is physical attraction, the main driver being intellect connection though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
33 weeks ago

Dorchester

Absolutely not sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ris GrayMan
33 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Absolutely not sorry

"
unless they begged me of course

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *OYFBWoman
33 weeks ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

Possibly…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

I have done what I look for in swinging isn't the same as what I look for in a relationship. However it's the kink and their personality I find attractive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

For me it’s all about the experience and the connection more than the looks. I think the attraction comes from the experience and the connection! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread