FabSwingers.com forum: You know you getting old when....

By *hubs101 OP Man
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

You get Medial epicondylitis (Golfers elbow) from hammering half a dozen wooden stakes into the garden... That's my wanking days over for a while

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By *eroLondonMan
26 weeks ago

Mayfair

That's a lot of vampires you have obliterated this afternoon.

Sorry to hear this, dear fellow (the 'epicondylitis, not the vampires).

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By *hubs101 OP Man
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

"That's a lot of vampires you have obliterated this afternoon.

Sorry to hear this, dear fellow (the 'epicondylitis, not the vampires)."

Got to keep them at bay somehow lol.. Was actually tackling a fenced off bit of the garden a couple of weekends ago, but only just decided it's hurting enough to go get it looked at

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By *amhorniestMan
26 weeks ago

Surrey

You buy a shirt from marks and Spencer... and quite like it

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
26 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"You get Medial epicondylitis (Golfers elbow) from hammering half a dozen wooden stakes into the garden... That's my wanking days over for a while

Ouch!!!

I realised I was old when my son turned 30 and I noticed he had a bald patch

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By *ifeforelivingMan
26 weeks ago

teesside

When it takes for ever when signing upto a website and your tmyear of birth is near the bottom

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
26 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2."

Why Joe?

Why would you post that

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By *ltrMan
26 weeks ago

sheffield

I know iam old now iam swopping my sports bike for a R1250 gs the pain in my back today after 2 hours ouch

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By *ie n MashCouple
26 weeks ago

Back in Malice

You go on a music-related thread on this forum and haven’t heard of half the artists being talked about.

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

"You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2.

Why Joe?

Why would you post that

Because if I have to suffer, so does everyone over the age of 24!

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By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
26 weeks ago

Southampton

"You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2.

Why Joe?

Why would you post that

Because if I have to suffer, so does everyone over the age of 24!"

Pah ! To think I liked you !

...

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By *hubs101 OP Man
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

"When it takes for ever when signing upto a website and your tmyear of birth is near the bottom

Annoys the hell out of me! Why can't they just have a box to type in the date????

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By *hubs101 OP Man
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

"You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2."

Had a lad start work at the firm I'm at who went to same school as me... He started 5 years after I'd left! That made me feel old!!

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By *ex HolesMan
26 weeks ago

Up North

Your bollocks land in the water first before you have a poo

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By *verageSausageMan
26 weeks ago

Flintshire

"You get Medial epicondylitis (Golfers elbow) from hammering half a dozen wooden stakes into the garden... That's my wanking days over for a while

As I get older, I realise that I can now multi-task.

Yep, I can sneeze, fart and piddle all at the same time.

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By *ickshawedCouple
26 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Your bollocks land in the water first before you have a poo

Better your bollocks than your bum grapes

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

When you believe courtesy to others matters

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By *ex HolesMan
26 weeks ago

Up North

"Your bollocks land in the water first before you have a poo

Better your bollocks than your bum grapes

I like grapes, especially the red ones

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By *hubs101 OP Man
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

"Your bollocks land in the water first before you have a poo

Better your bollocks than your bum grapes

I like grapes, especially the red ones "

Squeezed, fermented, aged & bottled is best lol

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By *red333Man
26 weeks ago

Dorchester

You can't cut your toe nails without performing what seems like yoga

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By *lynJMan
26 weeks ago

Morden

That most of your colleagues weren't born when you had your first full time job

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Horsham

"When it takes for ever when signing upto a website and your tmyear of birth is near the bottom

Only just had this recently, it hit me then I am old!!

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By *ad NannaWoman
26 weeks ago

East London

Your young friend with benefits is going grey and moaning about his knees

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By *ot to giggleWoman
26 weeks ago

Coventry

"You can't cut your toe nails without performing what seems like yoga

you can still do yoga!!

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By *ggdrasil66Man
26 weeks ago

Saltdean

The people you work with have never heard of any of the bands you are into!

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
26 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

You rewatch the Sapranos and Tony it’s looking a big young

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By *ndy79randyMan
26 weeks ago

Washington

Bald patch and 3 grandchildren

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

When you look in the mirror and there is an old person looking back who you don't recognise

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By *ldbutrandyMan
26 weeks ago

West Midlands

When you realise that your first weeks wage isn't equal to 1 hours minimum wage nowadays.

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By *r_reusMan
26 weeks ago

Coventry

You know you're getting old when you have to look down your front to remember what you've just eaten.

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By *ickawitchCouple
26 weeks ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

….. when you see a bunch of girls wearing next to nothing and the first thing you think is “ they must be cold” haha

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By *ark RumMan
26 weeks ago

Bucks

You start to enjoy the odd bit of gardening

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
26 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

When you like to have a knapp after dinner

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By *ddie1966Man
26 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

You start looking longingly at slippers....

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By *ingerie whoreTV/TS
26 weeks ago

kirk hammerton

"You buy a shirt from marks and Spencer... and quite like it "
I do like their lingerie though x

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By *icentiousCouple
26 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

Can’t be bothered with pillow princess

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By *dc1Man
26 weeks ago

essex and all over the south

You know that your getting old when saga holidays look apealing.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
26 weeks ago

Bradford

When you can't open a fucking bottle .

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"You get Medial epicondylitis (Golfers elbow) from hammering half a dozen wooden stakes into the garden... That's my wanking days over for a while

I had that before, now I have ongoing tennis elbow which is actually worse. I got rid of tennis elbow in one arm only for it to start in the other

I tell you what eventually got rid of my golfers elbow when I had it, Reverse Tyler Twists using a Theraband Flex Bars. You can buy then online and look at Reverse Tyler Twists on Youtube.

You can use these bars for tennis elbow too but I am noticing taking much longer

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By *ust of the LibertineMan
26 weeks ago

Maesteg

It's the whole realisation that kids now think of the 90s like I thought of the 60s

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By *linyMan
26 weeks ago

Manchester/London

When you take a defibrillator with you on play date

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By *ddie1966Man
26 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

When you have to scroll down a few times to get to your year of birth on online forms.....

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By *ndisMan
26 weeks ago

Liverpool

When you have to give your son the jar of jam to open (that he used to give you to open) as you can't grip it enough to do it with arthritis it two fingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"I know iam old now iam swopping my sports bike for a R1250 gs the pain in my back today after 2 hours ouch "

Got my first cruiser motorbike couple of years ago as my knees told me off every time I road last bike

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
26 weeks ago

East Sussex

There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"You start to enjoy the odd bit of gardening

I was saying the other day on here that I prefer a day out at the garden centre now more than the thought of being in a rave club like I was for years. You never think you would get to this point but you do

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By *avexxMan
26 weeks ago

cheshire

crikey where do i start

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Preferring to stay in than go out and if I do go out, going out daytime so I can be home by 9pm

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

"There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

I was going to say "That's not true at all!" and then I checked my age range... Oops

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
26 weeks ago

East Sussex

"There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

I was going to say "That's not true at all!" and then I checked my age range... Oops

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By *rcoupleCouple
26 weeks ago

Mid Glam

"You buy a shirt from marks and Spencer... and quite like it "

You buy trousers from Marks and Sparks and are going back for more.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
26 weeks ago

North West

"You realise there are fully grown adults whose birth year starts with a 2."

When the (adult) students you teach are mainly younger than your eldest child

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By *lleyCat1969Man
26 weeks ago

Folkestone

...you have colleagues who were born after you started work

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

"There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

I was going to say "That's not true at all!" and then I checked my age range... Oops

For what it's worth... Still would though

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
26 weeks ago

East Sussex

"There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

I was going to say "That's not true at all!" and then I checked my age range... Oops

For what it's worth... Still would though

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By *evergiveupMan
26 weeks ago

derbyshire

When the hairs on your body start to grey around your cock - after having gone grey in your head then your chest, stomach and now around your cock and balls !!

Get the razor quick

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"When the hairs on your body start to grey around your cock - after having gone grey in your head then your chest, stomach and now around your cock and balls !!

Get the razor quick

I am getting visions of former porn star Ron Jeremy in court in that face mask, grey as fook

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By *ingerTwistWoman
26 weeks ago

Edinburgh

The thought of being out past nine pm makes you reconsider accepting invites places!

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By *iss.Bella.Woman
26 weeks ago

North Wales

You find yourself nagging younger relatives about going out half dressed

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
26 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

You dig out your first post office savings book

and it’s in pound shillings and pence.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
26 weeks ago

North West

"There's a thread in praise of older women and you're out of the age range of nearly every contributor

I was going to say "That's not true at all!" and then I checked my age range... Oops

For what it's worth... Still would though

Get your coat luv, you've pulled

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By *rLordMan
26 weeks ago

Swadlincote

Being told you are on here lol

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
26 weeks ago

London

When you buy a pill box organizer

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By *JB1954Man
26 weeks ago

Reading

On Fab. You are out of most peoples age ranges . Think you are past having sex.

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By *aughtyDomMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham/ W Mids

You can't see beyond the end of your nose, think with an open mind

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By *aughtyDomMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham/ W Mids

Lol and the pills are blue

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By *agneto.Man
26 weeks ago

Bham

Your not only older than footballers, but also some football managers.

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By *inochioMan
26 weeks ago

Derbyshire

"You buy a shirt from marks and Spencer... and quite like it "

OMG, Im ashamed to say Ive done this. But so comfy.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
26 weeks ago

ashford

My eldest child is gonna b 50 this year!

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Less and less people slide into your DMs

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By *eavenNhellCouple
26 weeks ago

carrbrook stalybridge

When your grandchild asks "mummy why does grandad make a noise when he stands up "

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By *rivateparts!Man
26 weeks ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

When you're filling a form in online and it asks for your D.O.B.and you keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling....

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By *red333Man
26 weeks ago

Dorchester

"You can't cut your toe nails without performing what seems like yoga

you can still do yoga!!

"
lol

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By *alcon77Man
26 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

When you learnt maths on an abacus at school.

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By *red and Wilma 75Couple
26 weeks ago

Staffordshire

When you keep touching radiators

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By *red333Man
26 weeks ago

Dorchester

You brush your tooth

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By *arkus1812Man
26 weeks ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

When your Grandson asks what you did in the war

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By * and M lookingCouple
26 weeks ago

Worcester

"You go on a music-related thread on this forum and haven’t heard of half the artists being talked about."

Neither have the folk posting them.

There is no "music" worth writing about these days.

Can anyone think of one of today's musicians that you think people will be talking about 50 years from now?

See now I know I'm old

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By *avexxMan
26 weeks ago

cheshire

"You go on a music-related thread on this forum and haven’t heard of half the artists being talked about.

Neither have the folk posting them.

There is no "music" worth writing about these days.

Can anyone think of one of today's musicians that you think people will be talking about 50 years from now?

See now I know I'm old

"
,,,, very true about the music

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By *rHotNottsMan
26 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Snuggled up in bed with a hot chocolate and a good movie is often more appealing than offers of sex with strangers

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By *amhorniestMan
26 weeks ago

Surrey

When the old guy on the bus gives up his seat for you

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By *rivateparts!Man
26 weeks ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

When 9pm become the new midnight

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By *hris885Man
26 weeks ago

drogheda

hi all

imna 38 yo irish straight guy new to melbourne and want to meet women for casual sex where should i start id like to try some swimgers clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Every time you get out of a chair or sit down in a chair, you make a little groaning sound that you used to reserve solely for your moment of crisis!

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

We are definitely in this together, so many posts we can all relate to

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I look in the mirror

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
26 weeks ago

Leeds

When you grown every time you stand up.

Mine is usually followed by “ fucking back “

The mr

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By *avexxMan
26 weeks ago

cheshire

everthing starts to shrink body, height, cock like your turning into an old tortoise

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"everthing starts to shrink body, height, cock like your turning into an old tortoise

Yet the ears and balls continue to grow in a man

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By *orksRockerMan
26 weeks ago

Bradford

When you fill out an online form, and your finger aches because of scrolling to choose your year of birth

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By *avexxMan
26 weeks ago

cheshire

"everthing starts to shrink body, height, cock like your turning into an old tortoise

Yet the ears and balls continue to grow in a man

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By *elix SightedMan
26 weeks ago

Cloud 8

You make a noise doing everything

As soon as you fix one thing on your body, the next thing breaks

You don’t recognise any celebrities

Everything on tv sounds banal

People call you sir instead of mate

Comfort becomes more important than speed

You disapprove of everything

You have to google whole sentences

You see fashion that you wore the first and second time round

You need afternoon naps

Fab meets are reduced to the ones who have older guy fetishes

The battle against hair in new places becomes a daily occurrence

You give less fucks

I could go on but I’ve forgotten why I’m here

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By *rishman75Man
26 weeks ago

Chessington/epsom

when you have to tell your kids what a fax machine is and a yo yo .

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By *uriousscouserWoman
26 weeks ago

Wirral

When you fall over people rush to help and nobody laughs. Oh and once you reach a certain age you no longer fall over, you "have a fall".

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
26 weeks ago

sittingbourne

You woke with one hell of a stiffy but sadley its in your neck

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By *luerooMan
26 weeks ago

Bridgwater

when nobody wants you

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By *mber SkiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Cardiff-ish

When your pubes go grey

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By *eavilMan
26 weeks ago

Stalybridge

My head went grey 20 plus years ago but my pubes have stayed their original colour - weird!

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By *inxy777Woman
26 weeks ago

essex

When you breasts knock your knees x

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By *undee2Man
26 weeks ago

Dundee

"You know you getting old when...."

when you consider the possibility that you are getting old. While I can still get up Ben Nevis withou t a helicopter then I am not old.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

When you have enough wrinkles on your forehead to screw your hat on.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"You make a noise doing everything

As soon as you fix one thing on your body, the next thing breaks

You don’t recognise any celebrities

Everything on tv sounds banal

People call you sir instead of mate

Comfort becomes more important than speed

You disapprove of everything

You have to google whole sentences

You see fashion that you wore the first and second time round

You need afternoon naps

Fab meets are reduced to the ones who have older guy fetishes

The battle against hair in new places becomes a daily occurrence

You give less fucks

I could go on but I’ve forgotten why I’m here"

Top marks! You’ve nailed it!

For a man, anyway…..

The menopause is a whole different ball of fish!!

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By *sWyldWoman
26 weeks ago

Edinburgh

You go to the drs and you are old enough to be their mum

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By *agnar73Man
26 weeks ago

Glasgow

"You go to the drs and you are old enough to be their mum"

Noticed last prescription had my age in year/months.

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By *oeBeansMan
26 weeks ago

Derby

When you can no longer get your name on the back of a football shirt without looking like a complete wanker

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By *xfordjohnMan
26 weeks ago

Oxford

"You make a noise doing everything

As soon as you fix one thing on your body, the next thing breaks

You don’t recognise any celebrities

Everything on tv sounds banal

People call you sir instead of mate

Comfort becomes more important than speed

You disapprove of everything

You have to google whole sentences

You see fashion that you wore the first and second time round

You need afternoon naps

Fab meets are reduced to the ones who have older guy fetishes

The battle against hair in new places becomes a daily occurrence

You give less fucks

I could go on but I’ve forgotten why I’m here"

Very good!

I can identify with a lot too many of those.

And it can take hours to write an email because I can't hit the keys straight and type three letters instead of one.

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By *iss.Bella.Woman
26 weeks ago

North Wales

When your underwear choices mature hello Bridget Jonesesque big pants

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
26 weeks ago

little house on the praire

When people clap when you tell them your age

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Central

You have mishaps

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By *rucking-HellMan
26 weeks ago

Northampton

When you look down and instead of seeing 1 wrinkle on 8 inches, you see 8 wrinkles on 1 inch.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

When you look in the mirror, and see a version of your dad looking back at you (okay, sometimes it's a female version, but still...

)

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By *ndisMan
25 weeks ago

Liverpool

When you refuse the need for reading glasses so don't take them out with you to the restaurant. So you then cant read the menu and just go of the specials board as it's mostly always written big on the black board!

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By *agnar73Man
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

"When you refuse the need for reading glasses so don't take them out with you to the restaurant. So you then cant read the menu and just go of the specials board as it's mostly always written big on the black board!

Phone pic and zoom in

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By *ndisMan
25 weeks ago

Liverpool

Then I get moaned at by Mrs as she told me to just take the glasses!

Phone pic and zoom in

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By *onameyet2Man
25 weeks ago

chorley

When er, erm, eh, what, why am I in this room?

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By *ggdrasil66Man
25 weeks ago

Saltdean

The only thing you follow through with is a fart!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"You get Medial epicondylitis (Golfers elbow) from hammering half a dozen wooden stakes into the garden... That's my wanking days over for a while

You turn the radio down to reverse park…

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By *ermite12ukMan
25 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

You used to be able to do mental arithmetic. But now everything is mental.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

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By *r SensualMan
25 weeks ago

London

You get excited at new home appliances being delivered or ordered

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By *ileyandOhCouple
25 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

You ache after trying a new position haha

Hearing songs remixed that come out when you was a teen.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Every position except missionary is uncomfortable

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By *rLordMan
25 weeks ago

Swadlincote

Doggy is always fun

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

When they think the Master Chief is from Fortnite. Only us old farts know his history.

But yeah nah in all seriousness, someone's getting old if they're born in the 80s, I mean at that point they are either the same age or older than my mum which is crazy lol.

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By *tephanjMan
25 weeks ago

Kettering

I must be old I can remember when a mini was a small car and British

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By *inxy777Woman
25 weeks ago

essex

"Every position except missionary is uncomfortable

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By *ady LickWoman
25 weeks ago

Northampton Somewhere

You can appreciate a hot water bottle but sleep with the window open

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By *eroLondonMan
25 weeks ago

Mayfair

She ^ keeps Gin in her hot water bottle. Fåçt.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Anytime my teenager reminds me lol

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By *ilk_and_SilverCouple
25 weeks ago

Oxford

When you realise the 70’s is no longer 30 years ago!!

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By *J the bullMan
25 weeks ago

Washington

When your youngest tells you the decade you were born in is being taught as history on the GCSE syllabus.. genuinely 1970's are now history to teens

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By *lue RascalMan
25 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

Had to explain what Robot Wars was today to a new member of staff.

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By *hisisntpofMan
25 weeks ago

bristol

When you used to watch blockbusters

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"When you used to watch blockbusters

Or got to blockbuster to hire a couple of films for the weekend lol

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By *hisisntpofMan
25 weeks ago

bristol

"When you used to watch blockbusters

Or got to blockbuster to hire a couple of films for the weekend lol"

Lmao and never had the film you wanted then get charged for taking the film you didnt want to see back late lol

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By *alleysBoiMan
25 weeks ago

Ebbw Vale

When you let a little moan out as you get up off the sofa

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By *ust MikeMan
25 weeks ago

Yaxley

When sneezing makes you pull a muscle in your back…

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

When you’re looking for your glasses and they’ve been on your head the whole time

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By *ot to giggleWoman
25 weeks ago

Coventry

"When you let a little moan out as you get up off the sofa "

you mean you dont have to roll??

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By *ot to giggleWoman
25 weeks ago

Coventry

when you realise that 2000 was 24 years ago !

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By *estarossa.Woman
25 weeks ago

Flagrante

Youve gone from Miss to Madam.

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By *nsatiable Nymph 2024Woman
25 weeks ago

La La Land

"When you're filling a form in online and it asks for your D.O.B.and you keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling...."

This!

And you walk into a room, but you have no idea what you went in there for.

Then you pace around aimlessly hoping it will come back to you....and it does come back, about 2 weeks later!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Or, when someone asks how old you are you have to do some quick math’s because you forgot what birthday it is as it no longer matters.

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By *ldbutrandyMan
25 weeks ago

West Midlands

When you're in a rush , or just in a good mood. And you start to run up stairs 2 at a time. Takes a millisecond to realise it isn't as easy anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

They play your favourite songs on Kisstory

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By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
25 weeks ago

Southampton

"They play your favourite songs on Kisstory

You're still a spring chicken! Lol

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By *amera man 25Man
25 weeks ago

Honley Huddersfield

My uncle used to say to me “ you know you’re getting old when you enjoy a shit more than a shag!” Sad, but true, some days…

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
25 weeks ago

My Own Little World

To old for anyone’s filters on hear pffft lol

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By *ohn 66Man
25 weeks ago

Birmingham

When you're in a vintage shop and it has a "Y2K Vintage" rail.

WHY ?

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