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How I feel about my chances on fab

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

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By *heGateKeeperMan
35 weeks ago

Stratford

What do you deem success? I feel like by changing those parameters you could drastically improve your own enjoyment of the site and be much happier with your interactions.

Depending on where in Essex you are, get to some of the London/Essex based socials and meet people for a drink, cuppa, slice of cake or whatever your thing is and just make it enjoyable without all the stigma, labels and preconceptions

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think your profile is quite good - I find my own is one that evolves over time, and you might find the same. Add photos, add text, that sort of thing. But you've kept it positive.

Age is probably your main limitation, that and the fact that guys do find it hard in general. But it's not insurmountable.

You're not unattractive.

I wouldn't put my self esteem on Fab - people are fickle and sometimes thoughtlessly cruel (or just thoughtless). What you get out of Fab in terms of general feedback is not so much "am I good enough" but often more like "do I scratch this other person's itch in this moment". (There are exceptions to this, but what I've described is probably a reasonable starting point). If you're struggling with mental health and associated stuff, Fab can be brutal (isn't always, can be) - be aware it can be a trigger and be prepared to step away when you're feeling a bit fragile.

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By *arla SwingerWoman
35 weeks ago

Somewhere

Your age will be against you OP. Obviously not with everyone, but likely with many. However, you come across well on your posts, you've now got 3 veris under your belt. Just keep doing as you have putting yourself out there for socials/clubs if you enjoy them? I suppose it depends on what you're seeking from Fab/swinging? Are you interested in the social side, or more 1-1 meets?

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By *agnar73Man
35 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Keep believing OP.

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By *laytonAMan
35 weeks ago

Newport

Looks like you're doing better than most op. Don't lose faith keep going to socials and being yourself. As mentioned not sure what success means for you but maybe define it more and it will increase chances of connecting. I'd also suggest if you like to swing get a partner and swing with them 3 is good but 4 is just that little bit better. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I think your probably doing better than many guys on fab. I'm not giving profile advice, but reading it as a " lady" I liked it. Don't get disheartened, I know it can be a challenge and certainly frustrating at times but it's very much the same for many guys and also for lots of ladies. I think going to a gangbang as a single guy is a big step ! I was really impressed! Keep doing what your doing. You really are a breath of fresh air.

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By *loomy GirlWoman
35 weeks ago

leicester


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

Well you seem like quite a nice person when you’re posting on the forums and your profile pic is clear and not a dick pic.

Anything other than I can’t say cos you have me blocked for some reason

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
35 weeks ago

Reading


"I think your profile is quite good - I find my own is one that evolves over time, and you might find the same. Add photos, add text, that sort of thing. But you've kept it positive.

Age is probably your main limitation, that and the fact that guys do find it hard in general. But it's not insurmountable.

You're not unattractive.

I wouldn't put my self esteem on Fab - people are fickle and sometimes thoughtlessly cruel (or just thoughtless). What you get out of Fab in terms of general feedback is not so much "am I good enough" but often more like "do I scratch this other person's itch in this moment". (There are exceptions to this, but what I've described is probably a reasonable starting point). If you're struggling with mental health and associated stuff, Fab can be brutal (isn't always, can be) - be aware it can be a trigger and be prepared to step away when you're feeling a bit fragile. "

Pretty much exactly what i would have written.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

Well you seem like quite a nice person when you’re posting on the forums and your profile pic is clear and not a dick pic.

Anything other than I can’t say cos you have me blocked for some reason "
I’m sorry if I have blocked you if it have it was an honest mistake as didn’t think I’ve blocked anyone recently

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By *uddy laneMan
35 weeks ago

dudley

I didn't hit the swinging scene until i was in my early 40s after the decree absolute, I must say I do find it strange that youngsters are looking for a quick fix on a swingers site rather than seeking a soul mate and contentment.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
35 weeks ago

Leeds

You aren't unattractive but you are young which will probably go against you then there is the matter that there is absolutely tons of single men to every couple/woman - most single men struggle on here I guess expectation Vs reality tends to be an issue too.

Even for us couples it's not easy we rarely meet (we aren't looking right now but even when we are it's not easy)

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

You poor soul. Eating disorders are no joke and I wouldn't be so quick to compare yourself to the buff, tattooed, beardy muscle heads on here.

Some of the best sex I've had is with people like you, or short red-haired beardy guys, or older kinky guys making me squirt.

The important thing is to keep a sense of humor about these things and be honest.

And don't go for the prima donnas. They're so full of themselves and their 1200 social verifications they can hardly be bothered to make an effort at a real connection.

Good luck.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

Thanks for all the comments so far. If anyone would like to hear what my opinion is on success here, it’s not at all about just having loads of one-night stands. I believe in building a connection with people here and in the lifestyle in general. For me, it’s about having conversations with people and making friends, and I know that’s not easy either.

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Thanks for all the comments so far. If anyone would like to hear what my opinion is on success here, it’s not at all about just having loads of one-night stands. I believe in building a connection with people here and in the lifestyle in general. For me, it’s about having conversations with people and making friends, and I know that’s not easy either."

Socials can be a good foundation for friendships.

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By *osey WalesMan
35 weeks ago

Surrey

What are you determining as success. Meets, socials, sex, marriage ? As some have said, you have a few veris so you are doing something right. Keep at it. Fab is hard work.

My 2p's worth... if you are looking to meet people get to the organised socials. Meet, chat, laugh etc and from these interactions mighty oaks can grow.

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By *osey WalesMan
35 weeks ago

Surrey


"Thanks for all the comments so far. If anyone would like to hear what my opinion is on success here, it’s not at all about just having loads of one-night stands. I believe in building a connection with people here and in the lifestyle in general. For me, it’s about having conversations with people and making friends, and I know that’s not easy either."

Clubs and socials then.

Imo

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 29/03/24 13:51:14]

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Thanks for all the comments so far. If anyone would like to hear what my opinion is on success here, it’s not at all about just having loads of one-night stands. I believe in building a connection with people here and in the lifestyle in general. For me, it’s about having conversations with people and making friends, and I know that’s not easy either.

Clubs and socials then.

Imo"
I’ve been to one club VA so far but can’t afford it often as out of work due to other health issues. I do hope to get to a social soon but last one I looked at in London had no spaces for single guy’s left

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By *orny-DJMan
35 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

First off, you've only been here 7 months. What were your expectations in joining?

Most guys can wait up to a year to get their first meet. Some fair better, others less so.

You have to consider the ratios too. Men massively, and I do mean masively outnumber women and couples. It can be as high as over 100 men to each woman in some areas.

Your age is also going to be a big factor. Most on here will have children around your age and that is going to be a big no-go area for them.

The best advice I can give is to not have any expectations.

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

My other advice would be perhaps to focus on your health. It's your life, you can do what you want, but if you're having health issues then you might be better off focusing on that before adding in other complications and expenses. (I mean this kindly, but reading tone in text is hard)

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
35 weeks ago

Manchester

Speaking as another young guy. It’s a tough old gig mate. A lot of women and couples here are looking for someone slightly older than us and that’s fine. Don’t expect you’ll ever fit their criteria. Look for the people where you do.

I think you just need to find a lil body confidence. Keep being who you are. You’ve gotten to a meet which is more than I can say for myself.

I had a good peep at the profiles of more successful guys on here. There’s not realistically tonnes separating you from them. Some nice snaps. A well written bio. If you’re smart you can do that yourself.

I would say that more stylistic or intentional looking snaps are the way to go. You don’t need tonnes of yourself out and about. Don’t think of it as much as a dating profile. You’re kinda selling this aura of yourself. I know that sounds manufactured.

I’ve found it’s way easier to form connections as a guy in the forums than it is by sending out dms. Don’t pressure it. Let it happen organically.

Best of luck mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"Thanks for all the comments so far. If anyone would like to hear what my opinion is on success here, it’s not at all about just having loads of one-night stands. I believe in building a connection with people here and in the lifestyle in general. For me, it’s about having conversations with people and making friends, and I know that’s not easy either.

Clubs and socials then.

Imo"

Agreed.

Organised club socials are a double-edged sword, especially for newbies.

Best meets are coffee and cake and playing footsie under the table.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
35 weeks ago

Coventry


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

Hi, I think your amazing and are so brave to share this much information about yourself. Please treat yourself kindly and maybe look for a real therapist to help with all the other issues that are impacting right now.

FAB is not a real place, its an escapism for a lot of people, unfortunately there are some that are not as kind. Don't use it as a therapy room or you may find it hits hard on your self esteem and mental health.

Create what you think you would like to see, be who you are. A great way of getting others to like us is to like ourselves, that can be a journey on its own.

You have a lot of advise on here - your age probably is against you. Go to socials, enjoy and have fun on the forums and keep yourself safe.

Don't try to hard, and the rejections do hurt, but they dont know you remember that and dont take them too personally.

AND if you need someone ever to message - my inbox is always open and i will happily listen.

Enjoy fabbing xxxx

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By *parkle1974Woman
35 weeks ago

Leeds

You have a good selection of pics and even though your bio is relatively short, it's to the point.

For me the only thing that would stop me from meeting/interacting with you is your age but there are plenty of ladies who do like the younger man.

As someone else has already pointed out, you have only been here 7 months, in the grand scheme of things for single men, that's no time at all.

I hope you find what you are looking for.....my only advice would be is.....give it time.

Good luck x

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
35 weeks ago

Manchester

I would also say. Be careful not to attach your self esteem to this place. Not a good plan. Speaking from experience.

The body confidence and true self esteem in that sense does come with taking care of yourself. I’ve found that and I was sceptical of that to begin with. Just believe in the process and stick with. It’s a long term positive feedback loop.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
35 weeks ago

Manchester


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

Hi, I think your amazing and are so brave to share this much information about yourself. Please treat yourself kindly and maybe look for a real therapist to help with all the other issues that are impacting right now.

FAB is not a real place, its an escapism for a lot of people, unfortunately there are some that are not as kind. Don't use it as a therapy room or you may find it hits hard on your self esteem and mental health.

Create what you think you would like to see, be who you are. A great way of getting others to like us is to like ourselves, that can be a journey on its own.

You have a lot of advise on here - your age probably is against you. Go to socials, enjoy and have fun on the forums and keep yourself safe.

Don't try to hard, and the rejections do hurt, but they dont know you remember that and dont take them too personally.

AND if you need someone ever to message - my inbox is always open and i will happily listen.

Enjoy fabbing xxxx"

Very very wise advice

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people

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By *ex HolesMan
35 weeks ago

Up North

Nothing succeeds more on here like a budgie without teeth

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By *ackdaw52Man
35 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Get to socials and clubs. That is where 'the scene' is really happening. Fab is just the periphery of that.

Also, stop blaming yourself for being short of the ideal, whatever that might be. It varies from person to person.

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people "

It's a reasonably common interest and problem

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

Hi, I think your amazing and are so brave to share this much information about yourself. Please treat yourself kindly and maybe look for a real therapist to help with all the other issues that are impacting right now.

FAB is not a real place, its an escapism for a lot of people, unfortunately there are some that are not as kind. Don't use it as a therapy room or you may find it hits hard on your self esteem and mental health.

Create what you think you would like to see, be who you are. A great way of getting others to like us is to like ourselves, that can be a journey on its own.

You have a lot of advise on here - your age probably is against you. Go to socials, enjoy and have fun on the forums and keep yourself safe.

Don't try to hard, and the rejections do hurt, but they dont know you remember that and dont take them too personally.

AND if you need someone ever to message - my inbox is always open and i will happily listen.

Enjoy fabbing xxxx"
Hey Thanks so much for all your advice and lovely commentss. Could you pm me I’d like to chat about something but don’t really want to talk about it on thread. Your age means I can’t message you.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people

It's a reasonably common interest and problem"
I listen to tons of older music like Joni Mitchell Pink Floyd Bob Dylan and younger people aren’t always into that stuff

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By *orny-DJMan
35 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people "

That's fair enough, but you have to remember that it's a two way street, and they'd need to be attracted to you

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
35 weeks ago

Manchester


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people

It's a reasonably common interest and problem I listen to tons of older music like Joni Mitchell Pink Floyd Bob Dylan and younger people aren’t always into that stuff"

Literally listening to Pink Floyd right now. Haha

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people

That's fair enough, but you have to remember that it's a two way street, and they'd need to be attracted to you"
I totally get that.

Someone isn’t going to be attracted to you just because you want them to

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I’m actually going to be honest. I hope this doesn’t come across badly. I’m attracted more to older women but not just sexually, it’s sometimes I have more in common with older people too.

That certainly makes it more difficult, as people that are older often have children my age, and I’ve had similar messages from people

It's a reasonably common interest and problem I listen to tons of older music like Joni Mitchell Pink Floyd Bob Dylan and younger people aren’t always into that stuff

Literally listening to Pink Floyd right now. Haha "
good for you pal. Older music is better in my opinion

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By *esthetic21Man
35 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Why do you need validation from here? It's like the worst place in world for your self esteem

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Why do you need validation from here? It's like the worst place in world for your self esteem"
I don’t feel it is the worst place for self esteem at all for me personally my confidence and self esteem have improved massively by going to my first meet and club and even posting on the forum helps me

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By *lansmanMan
35 weeks ago

Sheffield

3 veris in 7 months ... am I missing something here ?

How many meets are you expecting?

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why do you need validation from here? It's like the worst place in world for your self esteem I don’t feel it is the worst place for self esteem at all for me personally my confidence and self esteem have improved massively by going to my first meet and club and even posting on the forum helps me"

Just be wary with it. It doesn't always work that way, even though it can.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"3 veris in 7 months ... am I missing something here ?

How many meets are you expecting? "
only the first one was an actual meet. The other two are from a couple I met before a club and the other is a club.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Why do you need validation from here? It's like the worst place in world for your self esteem I don’t feel it is the worst place for self esteem at all for me personally my confidence and self esteem have improved massively by going to my first meet and club and even posting on the forum helps me

Just be wary with it. It doesn't always work that way, even though it can."
I know it doesn’t my confidence and self esteem is improving because my life is getting better too

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By *lansmanMan
35 weeks ago

Sheffield


"3 veris in 7 months ... am I missing something here ?

How many meets are you expecting? only the first one was an actual meet. The other two are from a couple I met before a club and the other is a club."

I would suggest it's still about average. Getting a first veri/meet is the difficult bit usually.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

I don’t have any expectations but I’m very critical of myself. My only expectation on here is to best version of myself and spread positivity on the forum and people I chat to

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By *ris GrayMan
35 weeks ago

Dorchester


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

Well you seem like quite a nice person when you’re posting on the forums and your profile pic is clear and not a dick pic.

Anything other than I can’t say cos you have me blocked for some reason "
You're maybe too hot for him

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By *ris GrayMan
35 weeks ago

Dorchester

Some would say age, some would say the threads you post, some would say your issues but i would say the forums represent a small section of the site so its more about how you message target profiles, a lot of the comments you will get in forums don't reflect the sites opinion. Good luck but try and reflect the lighter side of life in your messages

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Some would say age, some would say the threads you post, some would say your issues but i would say the forums represent a small section of the site so its more about how you message target profiles, a lot of the comments you will get in forums don't reflect the sites opinion. Good luck but try and reflect the lighter side of life in your messages "
I don’t mind if my issues rule me out for people. I’m just being honest and myself

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By *ris GrayMan
35 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Some would say age, some would say the threads you post, some would say your issues but i would say the forums represent a small section of the site so its more about how you message target profiles, a lot of the comments you will get in forums don't reflect the sites opinion. Good luck but try and reflect the lighter side of life in your messages I don’t mind if my issues rule me out for people. I’m just being honest and myself"
Well like i said the forums represent a small part of the membership

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By *inochioMan
35 weeks ago

Derbyshire


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

Ive only been on here a few weeks but even i can see that winning the lottery jackpot os more likely than arranging a meet on here. Keep trying though. Got to be in it to win it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
35 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"3 veris in 7 months ... am I missing something here ?

How many meets are you expecting? "

He's been proactive - I think a lot of the guys who complain haven't been.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"I didn't hit the swinging scene until i was in my early 40s after the decree absolute, I must say I do find it strange that youngsters are looking for a quick fix on a swingers site rather than seeking a soul mate and contentment."

Youngsters..that me too.

Some old farts want a fix too

Each to our own on here

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

I asked for ladies opinion if I was unattractive because even before I even had an eating disorder I thought that I was. I try to focus other things I do like about myself

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

Keeping positive is key.

Mental health if struggling talk to your GP.

You been out and about which is good.

You are a man after all. Stand tall and keep your chin up.

Age ranges vary on fab. That is not to say it is against you.

Oasis...wonder wall,do not look back in anger great songs

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Keeping positive is key.

Mental health if struggling talk to your GP.

You been out and about which is good.

You are a man after all. Stand tall and keep your chin up.

Age ranges vary on fab. That is not to say it is against you.

Oasis...wonder wall,do not look back in anger great songs

"
Keeping positive is my motto in life now.

My mental health has improved alot I would have therapy but it’s an 8 or 9 month wait on the nhs currently

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"Keeping positive is key.

Mental health if struggling talk to your GP.

You been out and about which is good.

You are a man after all. Stand tall and keep your chin up.

Age ranges vary on fab. That is not to say it is against you.

Oasis...wonder wall,do not look back in anger great songs

Keeping positive is my motto in life now.

My mental health has improved alot I would have therapy but it’s an 8 or 9 month wait on the nhs currently "

I not dabbled in therapy as a support guide. Keep leaning that way to do counselling first then maybe a diploma in DBT or CBT and clinical after. Ask your gp for self help in the mean time. I am not qualified yet. Waiting lists prefer Santa's

Fab is whatever you decide it to be.May take ages to find folk you want to meet.

Life is about finding right people right connections and honesty.All hard work here. Need patience of a Saint but those who wait reap the rewards.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

Thanks to anyone that has commented on this thread. Even though I asked for advice on here in some ways it was about opening up about how I was feeling.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
35 weeks ago

Coventry


"Thanks to anyone that has commented on this thread. Even though I asked for advice on here in some ways it was about opening up about how I was feeling. "

please do remember that this is not a therapy room and people do not have a duty of anything to you. This can just a quickly backfire on you. Stay safe. Even in the most controlled groups with qualified facilitators they advise you to only share what you can deal with and can keep safe.

I wish you all the best with this, take it for what it is and with a huge pinch of salt. You should see the abusive message when when I say no thanks to someone. Just be careful.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Thanks to anyone that has commented on this thread. Even though I asked for advice on here in some ways it was about opening up about how I was feeling.

please do remember that this is not a therapy room and people do not have a duty of anything to you. This can just a quickly backfire on you. Stay safe. Even in the most controlled groups with qualified facilitators they advise you to only share what you can deal with and can keep safe.

I wish you all the best with this, take it for what it is and with a huge pinch of salt. You should see the abusive message when when I say no thanks to someone. Just be careful."
I totally get that this is not a therapy room and if anyone has criticism of me at all for being honest, it doesn’t bother me.

I’m proud of the struggles I’ve got through in life.

The great thing about fab is that anyone that sees this and decides they don't want to chat or meet me because of my issues, there are tons of other people they can chat and meet with.

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By *m-BatmanMan
35 weeks ago

Gotham


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

Meh, don’t try so hard. Chill.

Ultimately it’s a numbers game.

But half the battle is being passively not interested. Sometimes you try really hard for something and it doesn’t come your way.

You just relax a bit and you’re on your way.

Also, throw in a bit of ‘fuckitude’

Where you just go ‘fuck it’ and do it rather than over think it or over complicate it.

Fuckitude gets you far in life as it opens up many doors. Fear holds a lot of people back. But when you just think ‘ahhh fuck it’ you can land yourself in places and in situations you never dreamed possible…

However there is a caveat. It’s like flipping a coin. Odds are 50/50 but remember this. Logic makes you think you can flip a coin ten times and it won’t be tails every time, but there’s just as good a chance it will be in reality. Point being, sometimes you win sometimes you lose.

When you lose it doesn’t matter. Fuckitude saves you as you just say fuck it and onto the next passive disinterested flip of the coin and away you go.

Works in all areas of life. Not just on Fab.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
35 weeks ago

South West London

You got 3 veris so you're not doing too bad, just keep doing you. Good luck

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By *iseekingbiCouple
35 weeks ago

N ireland and West Midlands

Yes, keep going

Some will be out off that you like Quoasis but you gotta Roll With It.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"Yes, keep going

Some will be out off that you like Quoasis but you gotta Roll With It.

"
you’ve gotta take your time

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By *io--Man
35 weeks ago

Near Blackpool


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

If its gonna make u feel shit then dont dedicate heaps of time on here. Dating apps are the same, as single men we are massively overpopulated, women/couples have the choice to pick and choose as they please and set themselves high standards. And there isnt anything wrong with that, the alternative is then dedicating your mindset to pleasing others which would be silly. Dont have any crazy expectations, dont spend enough time to start feeling like you're wasting it and try accept and be confident in who you are, or make the changes you need to do that.

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By *io--Man
35 weeks ago

Near Blackpool


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"
Also I may not be able to relate as you mentioned anorexia so you might not want to be as skinny as you are, but if you do there is absolutely zero wrong with it. My figure is one of my favorite features, I would not change a thing about myself neck down. Plenty of women have a preference for slim guys, while others will have it as a turn off. You cant suit everyone but theres certainly many who will appreciate your figure

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

If its gonna make u feel shit then dont dedicate heaps of time on here. Dating apps are the same, as single men we are massively overpopulated, women/couples have the choice to pick and choose as they please and set themselves high standards. And there isnt anything wrong with that, the alternative is then dedicating your mindset to pleasing others which would be silly. Dont have any crazy expectations, dont spend enough time to start feeling like you're wasting it and try accept and be confident in who you are, or make the changes you need to do that. "
it doesn’t make me feel bad normally that just my thoughts and feelings in that moment

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
35 weeks ago

.


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

"

Op, you are not my type and way to young, but I wouldn't say you are unattractive.

You are smiling in your pictures, you look very approachable, and your write up is inoffensive, better than a hell of a lot on here.

You are not going to be a hell of a lot of people's type, but that can be said for everyone on here, we all like different things. Please don't let that make you disheartened or feel bad about yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the right person.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex


"I did post this on the advice section but was thinking more people might see this so mod feel free to remove.

Hey I thought I'd make a thread with some thoughts I’m having and was hoping anyone that’s been on here a while and has had success can offer some advice too. I’m feeling a bit discouraged and disheartened today about my chances of having any success at fab. I feel like on the forum people enjoy my threads as I’ve opened up about my struggles with anorexia and binge-drinking and other issues I’ve faced and my positivety , but, on fab generally, I don’t feel I’m attractive enough to have success. I think I could improve my photos and going do to try and do that over the weekend. I’ve seen a lot of advice to have a few shirt less, but I don’t think those look the best right now due to struggling with an eating disorder. I lost muscle , but one of my goals this year to build muscle again.

I’ve found it really difficult so far to make my profile show the best version of myself, but I feel it’s better now if anyone has any honest opinions on it ? I’d appreciate it.

I’ll probably get some negative comments on this thread that it’s impossible as a single guy, but I don’t have that belief that anything is impossible in life and I think if you put maximum effort and hard work into something you’ll achieve it.

I’m extremely determined to have some success on fab and get into the lifestyle even if it takes a lot of time.

I would appreciate it if any ladies could look at my photos and tell me your honest opinion on the thread or privately if I look unattractive or not.

I just wanted to make this thread as it’s better to show how you’re feeling instead of keeping it inside.

If anyone else is finding it difficult to succeed on here, I wish you luck and hope you succeed.

HAVE A FANTASTIC AND WONDERFUL WEEKEND EVERYONE ON THE FORUM

Op, you are not my type and way to young, but I wouldn't say you are unattractive.

You are smiling in your pictures, you look very approachable, and your write up is inoffensive, better than a hell of a lot on here.

You are not going to be a hell of a lot of people's type, but that can be said for everyone on here, we all like different things. Please don't let that make you disheartened or feel bad about yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the right person."
thanks very much for your lovely comments. that’s the wonderful thing about fab everyone is different and there’s so many people on here that you can find someone that you connect with

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By *alm_one4Man
35 weeks ago

RM16

Lots of good advice here, but I’ll add this.

I just completed a very un scientific experiment about who’s on line.

Women looking for men in 5 miles of my location totalled 64 in the last week.

Men looking for women totalled 134 in the last hour.

My advice would be to not expect any success then if you do have some it’s a bonus. Use the site for the forums which can be fun and maybe perving the profiles.

But bottom line, don’t take this or any sex or dating site to seriously.

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By *asisfan25 OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Essex

Others on this thread have said to take this site with a pinch of salt or to not care, but I’m not like that.

I’m passionate about everything I do and put my all into anything that I do or enjoy. I’m even more passionate and driven now because I love life again after I hated life for 3 years dealing with my struggles. I feel a sense of hope and optimism that I haven’t felt in a long time. Happy Saturday, beautiful people on this thread have a wonderful afternoon and evening.

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