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"I can offer Someone a lovely duvet day First off all breakfast in bed Next up would be a lovely day on the couch watching your favourite show As I do all the housework for you Then I will oder your favourite take away And we can sit and have dinner fallowed by a lovely evening Infront off the tv as I massage your shoulders and back Then run you a lovely bath if no bath available then pop the shower on for you then afterwards I can ither join you in the bed room for a lovely evening off something magical and unforgettable or you can invite a friend over for some extra magical be it male female couple or tv/ts Or I can just leave and go home without a magicl evening All I ask in return is a smile on your face and a moment off your precious time " Cor heaven | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle " Okay get me your shaver and bums the word..hairy arses | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle " I'd happily wax it for you ! | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! " Lends you my back tickler | |||
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"I can offer Someone a lovely duvet day First off all breakfast in bed Next up would be a lovely day on the couch watching your favourite show As I do all the housework for you Then I will oder your favourite take away And we can sit and have dinner fallowed by a lovely evening Infront off the tv as I massage your shoulders and back Then run you a lovely bath if no bath available then pop the shower on for you then afterwards I can ither join you in the bed room for a lovely evening off something magical and unforgettable or you can invite a friend over for some extra magical be it male female couple or tv/ts Or I can just leave and go home without a magicl evening All I ask in return is a smile on your face and a moment off your precious time Cor heaven " Yes I dose sound like heaven | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle Okay get me your shaver and bums the word..hairy arses " Deal! I’ll get the kettle on | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! " Hands available for tickling at your ready all I ask is don’t snore x | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle I'd happily wax it for you ! " This is going to hurt, right? Oh well…..needs must and for King and Country and all that…. | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle " Which flavour ? | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Hands available for tickling at your ready all I ask is don’t snore x" Deal! | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle Which flavour ? " Chicken and Mushroom - My personal Pot Noodle of choice | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler " Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Hands available for tickling at your ready all I ask is don’t snore x Deal! " | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price " You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly" Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling " Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers | |||
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"Could someone shave my arse please? I’ll return the favour by preparing you a delicious Pot Noodle I'd happily wax it for you ! This is going to hurt, right? Oh well…..needs must and for King and Country and all that…. " It's just like ripping a plaster off ! | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready " I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? " Cake works for me I'll volunteer if Mr H0rn3y Devil 76 doesnt like cake! | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers " Sounds like an accident waiting to happen | |||
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"After a nice leg massage after my marathon today. In return I can provide cake/biscuits and a damn good kiss " Hands are at the ready | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. " I volunteer to help if I can have a body-to-body massage in return | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers Sounds like an accident waiting to happen " Haha very true I'll have to put a swap request in for a nurse to help with my recovery! | |||
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"If someone could come tickle my back, that would be great I’ll do whatever you want in return, providing I don’t fall asleep first. In that case it’ll be an iou! Lends you my back tickler Feathers as well to reach those parts smoothly Ooh nice! But I prefer the fingers to do the tickling Go go gadget arms and tickly fingers Sounds like an accident waiting to happen Haha very true I'll have to put a swap request in for a nurse to help with my recovery! " You’ll have to excuse my terrible bedside manner. | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? Cake works for me I'll volunteer if Mr H0rn3y Devil 76 doesnt like cake! " I’m more than happy to share | |||
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"A regular lift home from work at 7 am.. will swap for petrol money and a bj! Lol" I give my friend a lift home ! She never offered me this | |||
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"A regular lift home from work at 7 am.. will swap for petrol money and a bj! Lol I give my friend a lift home ! She never offered me this " Did you ever ask her though? | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. " Snap. I’m in. | |||
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"A regular lift home from work at 7 am.. will swap for petrol money and a bj! Lol I give my friend a lift home ! She never offered me this Did you ever ask her though?" No I wouldn’t go there she is a very good friend always has been wouldn’t want to lose her as friend | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? " Black Forrest? | |||
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"Offer a favour for a favour…. In kind fab themed! Join in and ask for something and hopefully someone might be able to help you out in a fab way! Either of the same ‘value’ or greater I really need a neck and shoulder massage, I can’t do this myself. So in return I do something for someone ... You get the idea! What do you need? … and can someone help you that reads your post? Enjoy " I need a personal assistant. -That will accept hugs for payment. | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. " My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie | |||
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"After a nice leg massage after my marathon today. In return I can provide cake/biscuits and a damn good kiss " Cool kissing biscuits I make the tea | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie " I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? Black Forrest? " Anything you’d like | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! " Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?" Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? " I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly" Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! " You're sacking me off for Phil? | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? " I volunteer to take Phil's place! | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? " A guy has got to eat. | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? I volunteer to take Phil's place!" So you and Woody then? | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? A guy has got to eat. " I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? A guy has got to eat. I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* " Narrator - Woody is busy looking for a cookbook to learn how to make egg fried rice …, “Em! I’m free “ | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? A guy has got to eat. I offered food! *Invites Woody's narrator instead* " Fine by me as long as I'm allowed a turn to give a massage as well | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? A guy has got to eat. " I make really fucking good egg fried rice! | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too?" I'd love to come and sing for you guys! | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? I'd love to come and sing for you guys!" You’ve got your first gig. | |||
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"Can someone drive me home please? It's about 3 hours. In return I won't have sex with you. " Sounds perfect. On way | |||
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"Can someone drive me home please? It's about 3 hours. In return I won't have sex with you. " I can give you a lift on my skate board but you will have to put in the leg work | |||
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"Oh I would love a full body massage. My glutes are so tight that they need some good hands to work them. Name your price You decorate and I’ll get my magic hands and oils ready I wouldn’t trust my decorating skills. How about some cake instead? Black Forrest? Anything you’d like " Then it’s a deal warming hands up now | |||
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"I need a full body massage with focus on my neck and shoulders(no feet!) I'll make you dinner in return or a movie and treats. My hands are strong and soft so it’s a deal providing it could kindly be a roast dinner and a horror movie I actually know lots of bloody horror films. It’s my kinda shit!!!! Make it a thruple (how the hell do you spell that ) Can we bring Phil so he can sing to us too? Can Phil sing spooky songs? *who is Phil!? I dunno ,maybe? That run through the tulips Song? Phil is up there just above my post silly Just seen Phil. I prefer the idea of egg fried rice now!! You're sacking me off for Phil? I volunteer to take Phil's place! So you and Woody then?" Whoahhhhhh what about me | |||
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"Can someone be ill for me? I'd really like to be able to bend down or do things without feeling like I'm going to pass out after. Currently attempting to hoover the sofas and I've had to stop for a rest.. WTF Right now I can't offer much in return except my gratitude. Could buy you a drink when I'm better though " I hate being ill so that’s a no however I’ll go grab some shopping for you or tidy round while you drink a hot honey, lemon and dram of whiskey remedy | |||
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