FabSwingers.com forum: I've had...

By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

A shit day... Cheer me up with some jokes please

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

Two fish in a tank , one says to the other " how do you drive this thing?" .... sorry I'll see myself out ... this joke tanked

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"A shit day... Cheer me up with some jokes please

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

Some geezers just messaged me and asked me if I want the winner of the grand National next month!? I said “No thanks mate, I’ve only got a small garden!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

Oh boy these are good!! I'm smiling already

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By *estarossa.Woman
34 weeks ago

Flagrante

Why did the egg cross the road?

To get to the Shell Station.

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

Last night my wife said: "Come upstairs with me & I'll put on that black lace number."

I said: "No thanks, I can't stand Agadoo."

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By *unchalMan
34 weeks ago

Dartford

"A shit day... Cheer me up with some jokes please

Knock, knock…

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus.

I think I’ll log off now

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By *educing_EmCouple
34 weeks ago

Tipperary

What has five fingers bit it's not your hand?

.......

My hand

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By *unchalMan
34 weeks ago

Dartford

"Last night my wife said: "Come upstairs with me & I'll put on that black lace number."

I said: "No thanks, I can't stand Agadoo.""

Damn. That made me giggle. But I am old enough to remember how good Billy Don’t Be A Hero was. Didn’t it win Opportunity Knocks? They were a real band once.

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.

Broco Lee!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

Groan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

"A shit day... Cheer me up with some jokes please

Knock, knock…"

Who's there!

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

Just bought myself one of them George Formby grills.It has 3 settings....Medium, ,well done and Turned Out Nice Again.....

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By *avexxMan
34 weeks ago

cheshire

what do you call a man who cries when he maturbates,, A tearjerker

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

One more and we’ll shut up.

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls' getaway trip, shopping, casinos, massages, and facials.

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.

"Wow, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said ‘Guess who'?"

I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over... On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want.

So here I am."

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"A shit day... Cheer me up with some jokes please

The weather here in the UK is a joke so it’s almost April. It’s bloody freezing

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Aww hugs jokes aren’t really my specialty but can can offer you some flattery

By telling you your awesome and so gorgeous and lovely

You make me smile from time to time to I thank you for that your truly wonderful x

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By *alcon77Man
34 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

Sean Connery once came round to my house and very kindly helped me with some DIY.

I left him to it for a bit, but upon hearing an almighty crash, I rushed back into the room and saw lots of stuff had fallen on the floor.

-I heard sobbing..'what's wrong Sean?'..I asked.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "I'm ashamed of my shelf."

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
34 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

I'd tell you my favourite joke about pizza...

But it's too cheesy!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I was felling generous today so I gave away all the used batteries from my toy collection.

Free of charge.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"I'd tell you my favourite joke about pizza...

But it's too cheesy!

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pastaway

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
34 weeks ago

Edinburgh

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

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By *obilebottomMan
34 weeks ago

All over

Sorry to here, hope you feel better soon. Not been myself for a few days either. Here is a poor attempt of one:

A horse goes into a restaurant. The host says, "Hey!" The horse replies, "You read my mind."

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By *ie n MashCouple
34 weeks ago

Back in Malice

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He couldn’t get his knob out of the chicken.

I want to learn Hebrew. I’ll do that in due course.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

No joke, but big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

Some of these are brilliant

Thanks everyone for the hugs too xxx

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By *iaisonseekerMan
34 weeks ago

Liverpool

In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?

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By *agnar73Man
34 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Some of these are brilliant

Thanks everyone for the hugs too xxx"

Hope you feel better. My memory for dad jokes is poor. Some crackers above

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

"In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?"

Well in fairness i only asked for jokes, not personal pictures of genitals

thanks for your considered input

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
34 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?

Well in fairness i only asked for jokes, not personal pictures of genitals

thanks for your considered input

I do have an awesome new picture of my boobs if you'd like it though Midnight

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
34 weeks ago

Two tampons walking down the street

who says Hi first

Neither of them as they're both stuck up cunts

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By *iaisonseekerMan
34 weeks ago

Liverpool

"In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?

Well in fairness i only asked for jokes, not personal pictures of genitals

thanks for your considered input

Actually, if not quite a joke, it was intended as a satirical comment on the tendency of threads to devolve into whataboutery along gender lines.

I must be coming down with a case of forum fatigue if I am trying to satirise posting trends

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

"In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?

Well in fairness i only asked for jokes, not personal pictures of genitals

thanks for your considered input

I do have an awesome new picture of my boobs if you'd like it though Midnight

How could i possibly refuse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

"In the classic counterfactual vein of speculating what would happen if a man were to post x...

I wonder if I had a shit day and asked for boobs to cheer me up, would it generate this many responses?

Well in fairness i only asked for jokes, not personal pictures of genitals

thanks for your considered input

Actually, if not quite a joke, it was intended as a satirical comment on the tendency of threads to devolve into whataboutery along gender lines.

I must be coming down with a case of forum fatigue if I am trying to satirise posting trends

I'm out of sorts, so I'll apologise if i read it wrong x

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection

Judge says “first offender?” She says “no, first a Gibson then a Fender”.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Three girls at a wine bar arguing about how much dick they can take.

One says "I've taken three dicks at once, you can't beat that!"

The second responds "Well I've been double fisted, two fists are more than three dicks!"

Third one grins smugly, slowly inching down the bar stool.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the Rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I think I'm a Type-O", replied the Rabbit.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"Three girls at a wine bar arguing about how much dick they can take.

One says "I've taken three dicks at once, you can't beat that!"

The second responds "Well I've been double fisted, two fists are more than three dicks!"

Third one grins smugly, slowly inching down the bar stool."

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the Rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I think I'm a Type-O", replied the Rabbit."

Badum tish

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
34 weeks ago

North West

"Two fish in a tank , one says to the other " how do you drive this thing?" .... sorry I'll see myself out ... this joke tanked

That's easily my fave joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 27/03/24 20:03:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Also, hope you feel better soon Midders!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"Two fish in a tank , one says to the other " how do you drive this thing?" .... sorry I'll see myself out ... this joke tanked

That's easily my fave joke. "

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
34 weeks ago

North West

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's red and sticky.

A bonfire.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's red and sticky.

A bonfire.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
34 weeks ago

Stratford

Man Utd FC

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By *heGateKeeperMan
34 weeks ago

Stratford

What’s better than eating a mandarin?

Eating Amanda out

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"Man Utd FC

*Inhales deeply* BOY!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton

"Man Utd FC

*Inhales deeply* BOY!"

* shots fired lol

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Which country is full of people who can’t sing….

…. Singapore

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By *heGateKeeperMan
34 weeks ago

Stratford

"Man Utd FC

*Inhales deeply* BOY!"

Joe you’re my boy but I couldn’t resist

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By *heGateKeeperMan
34 weeks ago

Stratford

"Man Utd FC

*Inhales deeply* BOY!

* shots fired lol"

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
34 weeks ago

Colchester

Two cats raced across the English Channel.

One cat was named Onetwothree, and the other was named Undeuxtrois.

Onetwothree cat won because Undeuxtrois cat sank

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By *orksRockerMan
34 weeks ago

Bradford

WILTY always makes me laugh... This is particularly funny.

https://youtu.be/Q1dqNms-_XA?si=cPJwZzDhP4D-yMiD

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By *r imp miss minxCouple
33 weeks ago

Colchester

I met an older woman in the pub last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We had a couple of drinks and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'MOM...YOU STILL AWAKE?.....

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.

Broco Lee!"

Groan ... but made me laugh

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