FabSwingers.com forum: Why do people put up with bad sex?

By *icentious OP Couple
47 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

And I suppose boring people.ain’t life too short?what are the reasons people do?

Just musing over a discussion I had.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Off the top of my head reasons: don't know any better, haven't been nurtured to embrace sex/ their own sexuality, don't feel comfortable or safe providing constructive feedback, are having sex with people who don't care about or aren't aware of their pleasure, feeling obligated to engage not actually wanting to, liking everything else about the person. There are a million reasons.. I'd rather no sex than bad sex or sex with someone who I'm not on great terms with, personally.

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By *aygallaMan
47 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

Maybe not everyone is good at it? Or one is the other isn’t?

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By *armandwet50Couple
47 weeks ago

Far far away

maybe they don't think it's bad maybe that's what they like?

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By *sWyldWoman
47 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Fuck me badly once, shame on you, fuck me badly twice shame on me."

While there was a lot of bad quotes to come out of sex and the city, I liked that one.

The reality is sometimes it isn't great, it's clumsy or awkward or you're just not on the same page. That is fine, it happens.

Sometimes sex with someone does get better the more you practice.

Or sometimes you have to either move on or accept its not earth shatteringly wonderful and maybe that's ok. Maybe it's ok enough or maybe bad sex is fine because other things are great.

Maybe I'm just harsh, greedy and unrealistic though.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Whats bad sex to you?

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
47 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

[Removed by poster at 24/03/24 23:36:38]

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
47 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

i must be lucky never had bad sex with anyone.

Never been told Im bad at it either.

But wouldnt enter into it with somebody thought of as unsuitable... there has to be connection/spark... if there isn't, its not happening.

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I think there’s been times where it’s someone I liked and it started great and just got awkward as it went on as there was an expection that ‘they’d be shagged’ and up to a point that’s okay, but I need the interaction and stimulation too.

Saying that, had awkward and sort of mixed up ones where started badly but after a laugh and some conversation it turned out okay.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Because for me when I met my partner first the sex was good ....but it took quite some time for me to realise he was very selfish in bed.....Most of the time he was a one shag man & he'd turn over & fall asleep even though I'd say what about me I'm not satisfied....& He'd laugh & say I'm done

like what the fk....

I'd be so sexually frustrated that most of the time I'd have to self play after sex with him....I eventually strayed & who would blame me....I put up with it cos I did love him ..but it was very unsatisfying sex.

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Because for me when I met my partner first the sex was good ....but it took quite some time for me to realise he was very selfish in bed.....Most of the time he was a one shag man & he'd turn over & fall asleep even though I'd say what about me I'm not satisfied....& He'd laugh & say I'm done

like what the fk....

Any selfishness or one-sidedness makes it bad I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Love.. And protective of their feelings

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
47 weeks ago

Home

Well seen as I'm getting nó sex bad sex would be awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Well seen as I'm getting nó sex bad sex would be awesome "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

like what the fk....

Any selfishness or one-sidedness makes it bad I guess."

That's for sure....it took me awhile also to realise he had a way lower sex drive than me....& It got to the stage I decided no sex is better than bad sex.... I'd be left totally sexually frustrated. He only cared about his own satisfaction & once he came he was find & he'd cum very quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

like what the fk....

Any selfishness or one-sidedness makes it bad I guess.

*He was Done

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By *jekimMan
47 weeks ago

Wigan

Because we have to make the most out of a bad situation

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By *a LunaWoman
47 weeks ago

South Wales

Because sometimes you love the person so much that you take the bad sex on the chin and then rub yourself off in the shower to make up for it.

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By *nnCeeWoman
47 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

My ex-husband was inexperienced. I hoped it would get better. We were also both quite large, so logistically it wasn't great.

But most of the time, it's more than just the sex. If you're in a relationship, there's more to it than the bedroom acrobatics...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
47 weeks ago

Central

Most people will be average as lovers and, even then, their sex is going to vary in quality.

People also get stuck in ruts, have changing interests, priorities etc. Life has many avenues, work, family, health and other things take over to some extent. Fab has people with sexual interests, whilst the majority soldier on with life, often unaware of what they could have or achieve, even when they are interested.

Most of us will have average sexual activity. And many people don't have that much of it

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By *electableicecreamMan
47 weeks ago

The West

I had long term relationship with very little and bite great sex. Sex just wasn't the basis of our relationship and we stayed together a very long time.

I don't know b if I ever felt like I was putting up with anything but that part of the relationship wasn't a source of joy.

These days I seek out sex with a good connection and I'm happy to book have sex if that's not what I'm finding

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By *electableicecreamMan
47 weeks ago

The West

I had long term relationship with very little and bite great sex. Sex just wasn't the basis of our relationship and we stayed together a very long time.

I don't know if I ever felt like I was putting up with anything but that part of the relationship wasn't a source of joy.

These days I seek out sex with a good connection and I'm happy to not have sex if that's not what I'm finding

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

If it works for them then surely it's all good...!

I'm sure they must have their own reasons.

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Because we have to make the most out of a bad situation

Because sometimes you love the person so much that you take the bad sex on the chin and then rub yourself off in the shower to make up for it.

and you do, things change and there’s other priorities and things to deal with.

Then I guess things change again.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
47 weeks ago

Stockport

Being good at sex, being good at giving pleasure and being good at receiving pleasure, takes practice. Which some of us never really got. Inhibitions about our bodies, inhibitions about others bodies, inhibitions about sexual contact. Not knowing how to properly negotiate the minefield of personal contact, and being afraid that going from friend to lover would ruin a relationship. Having self doubt, and not being lucky enough to have a person to build the confidence needed to believe in yourself.

To me it seems that good sex is like riding a bicycle, it's a skill that needs to be learned. Some people find it easier than others. Some people were never lucky enough to have a bicycle. In later life we can get the bicycle, but know we can't ride in the same competitions as those who learned while young.

Still, we live in hope of finding other cycle novices, someone to practice riding with, hoping that we could get good together.

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By *rivervaderMan
47 weeks ago

bolton

This is why I’m on here bad sex with the misses but been together a long time and can’t leave so looking for that bit extra fun

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

It’s all I can get!…

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By *rettCoolMan
47 weeks ago

Dunfermline

My wife isn't great in the bedroom she has no imagination very vanilla and basically it's all about her enjoying herself selfish.. had lots of lovers before her some really dirty and good so I can compare ..

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By *rHotNottsMan
47 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s just subjective, boring or bad to one person is great to another.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I strive for mediocre sex.

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By *uddy laneMan
47 weeks ago

dudley

It's all subjective. What is bad sex and what is good sex.

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By *neforutoMan
47 weeks ago

Fantasy land in the SW

Simply put, I love my wife and will never leave her. She has developed a degenerative disorder and the decline in our sex lives as a result is not through choice or selfeshness.

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By *unchalMan
47 weeks ago

Dartford

"And I suppose boring people.ain’t life too short?what are the reasons people do?

Just musing over a discussion I had."

But still not sure what is meant by bad sex. Also seems like this is another man bashing post.

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
47 weeks ago

Norwich

You’d have to ask my wife.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
47 weeks ago

Southampton

"It’s all I can get!…

Bad sex or no sex? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Because good dick is attached to absolute monsters ??

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
47 weeks ago

London

Love and sex are supposed to go together, however sometimes you can genuinely love someone so much but not have great great with them. What do you do in that situation?

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By * and R cple4Couple
47 weeks ago

swansea

Sometimes sex isn't instantly as amazing that you had built up in your head. Sometimes it can become good sex by just simply having a conversation about what you like and don't like.

If it's a case of someone just being selfish and as long as their happy they don't care then maybe that person isn't right for you.

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By *TG3Man
47 weeks ago

Dorchester

"And I suppose boring people.ain’t life too short?what are the reasons people do?

Just musing over a discussion I had."
they love the other person maybe

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By *ad NannaWoman
47 weeks ago

East London

I was married and he wouldn't do anything I suggested, to make it more enjoyable for me.

He wasn't passionate or tactile, whereas I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

If the head right Biggie there erry night

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

If the sex doesn’t slap it’s ok as long as they’re lovely to be around. That’s the beauty of poly

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Love and sex are supposed to go together, however sometimes you can genuinely love someone so much but not have great great with them. What do you do in that situation?"

Talk to them.

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By *hagTonightMan
47 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I think they do it, because they cant find another one to do it with.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
47 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t ever recall thinking oh that was bad sex

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
47 weeks ago

Reading

I dont. I have dropped people in the past because they weren't ringing my bell. Sometimes the connection just isn't there.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
47 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"And I suppose boring people.ain’t life too short?what are the reasons people do?

Just musing over a discussion I had."

The reasons are far too many to note here. Not only that, what one person endures in one situation , they may not be willing to put up with in others.

There is always the other person and our relationship to them and our life experiences AND what other benefits may be be forthcoming from that relationship which over ride poor sexual performance.

There are those that may just allow this to happen because of their own low self esteem, over confidence, lack of experience or - as if often the case - the inability to self reflect ...... to see that WE are shit at sex and to point the finger outwards so as not to accept any responsibility for what takes place.

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By *TG3Man
47 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I don’t ever recall thinking oh that was bad sex"
I'm with you on that really but having said that its the reason i left my wife maybe not my best decision mind

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
47 weeks ago

Leeds

I can't say I've ever put up with bad sex.

Mrs

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By *issmorganWoman
47 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I had a meet here years ago, who was v selfish and it was all about him and I told him I was left unsatisfied.

I didn't leave a veri and wouldn't meet him again, it's easy on here to just cut ties with a meet.

In relationships I don't know why people stay, if it's been rubbish sex from the start.

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By *enk15Man
47 weeks ago

Evesham

Really hoping my sexual partners don't see this thread and realize they don't have to put up with my mediocrity

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By *elsbells2011Couple
47 weeks ago

fife

All depends what level of bad we are talking about. I’ve had awkward sex, I’ve had sex where I wouldn’t choose to meet again. I’ve never had sex that’s been so unpleasant that I’ve had to stop midway. The sex I have with hubby is also a very different kind of sex I have with my regular fb. I wouldn’t want the two to mix and I suppose when I think of it the sex with hubby I really enjoy but if I went to see the boyfriend and we had identical sex to I do with hubby I’d probably consider that he was having an off day. It all depends on context of good or bad and different situations

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