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I make no apologies

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

So are you looking for a partner is saying this ? …

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

by saying this *

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"So are you looking for a partner is saying this ? …"

No not at all, not in the traditional sense. But way more than just good sex

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

"

I agree. I'm not looking for a relationship but yes yes yes to conversation etc. I have no interest in learning about your personal life, escapism on every level for me !

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

I agree. I'm not looking for a relationship but yes yes yes to conversation etc. I have no interest in learning about your personal life, escapism on every level for me ! "

Adventure over escapism for me. I love my life and want to augment it not escape it ! Maybe escape bits of it temporarily.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

When it comes to regular arrangements, there needs to be more on the table than just a penis.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I could relate it to football. I can relate Everything to football.

I like football and I would happily watch a Sunday league game. But I support team in the premier league, and that small for me I get a lot more out of it because my love for that team is there…..

I’ve made it weird now.

So I can enjoy sex for the whole fun of it with people who are also fun, but it’s not what I want. I do like it a lot more when it’s with someone who offers more than just sex.

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo

whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

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By *sWyldWoman
43 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I need a connection. I need something in that moment that makes me feel something. Otherwise it's empty and really lacking for me.

That connection might only be for one night or it might be more but in order for sex to be satisfying for me, it needs to be there.

Dick is everywhere but chemistry is not.

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit...."

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"….

Dick is everywhere but chemistry is not.

"

Haha. This, and the op’s point that ‘sex is easy to find’ is true, if that’s all you want.

In my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

I agree. I'm not looking for a relationship but yes yes yes to conversation etc. I have no interest in learning about your personal life, escapism on every level for me !

Adventure over escapism for me. I love my life and want to augment it not escape it ! Maybe escape bits of it temporarily. "

But surely the 2 go hand in hand ?

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

"

forgive me but I dont even know what SM refers to, but I think anyone on this forum, or in this lifestyle, or who is a newb trying to navigate the world of non-monogamy because it feels more natural for a start, should be open minded and at a level of sexual maturity to not even have to consider that question, but when I read your explanation a second time, the statement 'I make no apologies.....' which I assume is now being followed by the expression that the person stating it, expects more than casual sex from someone they have met through a very clear and distinctive requirements of casual sex..... sounds like manipulation tactics, 'I make no apologies FWB but I need more than us to just be having casual sex, as pre-agreed. now I want more, so I expect you to humour my manipulation and changing of the rules to suit myself and my needs...... face facts, as a fella, unless a woman is attractive on a level other than physical, I wont even get hard... im not a total animal, so fact is, if two people get phgysical then there is something more than sex, because they wouldnt have gotten that far otherwise, do they need to form some sort of intimate. relationship to continue that, no, the idea is it continues until they get bored, and then they walk away, otherwise they're attempting to keep it going through building a relationship around it, when it was only ever supposed to be casual sxex.....

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

I agree. I'm not looking for a relationship but yes yes yes to conversation etc. I have no interest in learning about your personal life, escapism on every level for me !

Adventure over escapism for me. I love my life and want to augment it not escape it ! Maybe escape bits of it temporarily.

But surely the 2 go hand in hand ? "

Yeah you actually got me thinking now. - Growth vs Entertainment.

I guess it depends on your disposition / need for things like fun, novelty, imagination, vitality, competition, reassurance, popularity vs awareness, security, curiosity, learning, growth, adaptability. Peoples overall motives and drivers tend to determine that

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

forgive me but I dont even know what SM refers to, but I think anyone on this forum, or in this lifestyle, or who is a newb trying to navigate the world of non-monogamy because it feels more natural for a start, should be open minded and at a level of sexual maturity to not even have to consider that question, but when I read your explanation a second time, the statement 'I make no apologies.....' which I assume is now being followed by the expression that the person stating it, expects more than casual sex from someone they have met through a very clear and distinctive requirements of casual sex..... sounds like manipulation tactics, 'I make no apologies FWB but I need more than us to just be having casual sex, as pre-agreed. now I want more, so I expect you to humour my manipulation and changing of the rules to suit myself and my needs...... face facts, as a fella, unless a woman is attractive on a level other than physical, I wont even get hard... im not a total animal, so fact is, if two people get phgysical then there is something more than sex, because they wouldnt have gotten that far otherwise, do they need to form some sort of intimate. relationship to continue that, no, the idea is it continues until they get bored, and then they walk away, otherwise they're attempting to keep it going through building a relationship around it, when it was only ever supposed to be casual sxex..... "

It stands for social media.

It’s a younger person thing actually , it’s a reflection I believe on how easy it is to get casual sex now. It’s not a manipulation tactic it’s a meme type thing , a social and cultural awareness with younger people regarding attitudes to swinging/ ENM / sex

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

forgive me but I dont even know what SM refers to, but I think anyone on this forum, or in this lifestyle, or who is a newb trying to navigate the world of non-monogamy because it feels more natural for a start, should be open minded and at a level of sexual maturity to not even have to consider that question, but when I read your explanation a second time, the statement 'I make no apologies.....' which I assume is now being followed by the expression that the person stating it, expects more than casual sex from someone they have met through a very clear and distinctive requirements of casual sex..... sounds like manipulation tactics, 'I make no apologies FWB but I need more than us to just be having casual sex, as pre-agreed. now I want more, so I expect you to humour my manipulation and changing of the rules to suit myself and my needs...... face facts, as a fella, unless a woman is attractive on a level other than physical, I wont even get hard... im not a total animal, so fact is, if two people get phgysical then there is something more than sex, because they wouldnt have gotten that far otherwise, do they need to form some sort of intimate. relationship to continue that, no, the idea is it continues until they get bored, and then they walk away, otherwise they're attempting to keep it going through building a relationship around it, when it was only ever supposed to be casual sxex..... "

I understand your view, sex is enough for you

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

forgive me but I dont even know what SM refers to, but I think anyone on this forum, or in this lifestyle, or who is a newb trying to navigate the world of non-monogamy because it feels more natural for a start, should be open minded and at a level of sexual maturity to not even have to consider that question, but when I read your explanation a second time, the statement 'I make no apologies.....' which I assume is now being followed by the expression that the person stating it, expects more than casual sex from someone they have met through a very clear and distinctive requirements of casual sex..... sounds like manipulation tactics, 'I make no apologies FWB but I need more than us to just be having casual sex, as pre-agreed. now I want more, so I expect you to humour my manipulation and changing of the rules to suit myself and my needs...... face facts, as a fella, unless a woman is attractive on a level other than physical, I wont even get hard... im not a total animal, so fact is, if two people get phgysical then there is something more than sex, because they wouldnt have gotten that far otherwise, do they need to form some sort of intimate. relationship to continue that, no, the idea is it continues until they get bored, and then they walk away, otherwise they're attempting to keep it going through building a relationship around it, when it was only ever supposed to be casual sxex.....

I understand your view, sex is enough for you "

no its not, but you cant have sex without already having a connection is the fact of the matter.....

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

That’s ok not in to guys hang around anyway

My dynamic is totally different bween guys and woman

My dynamic for guys is just mindless sex

They a toy to me and I am a toy to them use me and leave and till next time or if it’s just a one off it is what it is I had fun only thing I ask off guys is don’t bs me

Like say you return for a repate meet then ghost me down the line there is literally no need

As my dynamic with guys is just sex

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"whats the question here? there has to be more to a meeting of people than just sex, or is it in relation to a couple in relationship, im not that old, 39, but just a physical attraction wont work for me, if there isn't a meeting of minds and a connection between myself and a woman, then its a waste of time...... even for a one night stand, just because im male guarantees nothing, if we dont have an attraction on some level, ill end up apologising and claiming some BS excuse for being stressed or some shit and giving her a quick exit....

So it was a general about the “I make no apologies….” Statement going round on SM about wanting more than just good sex to stick around with some one.there’s various versions of it one I posted was an example.

It’s about whether you agree in principle - assuming most people on here are swingers or the new word for it ENM, Poly, (we can assume it would typically apply traditional relationships), are you looking for more than just great sex to stick around with someone ?

forgive me but I dont even know what SM refers to, but I think anyone on this forum, or in this lifestyle, or who is a newb trying to navigate the world of non-monogamy because it feels more natural for a start, should be open minded and at a level of sexual maturity to not even have to consider that question, but when I read your explanation a second time, the statement 'I make no apologies.....' which I assume is now being followed by the expression that the person stating it, expects more than casual sex from someone they have met through a very clear and distinctive requirements of casual sex..... sounds like manipulation tactics, 'I make no apologies FWB but I need more than us to just be having casual sex, as pre-agreed. now I want more, so I expect you to humour my manipulation and changing of the rules to suit myself and my needs...... face facts, as a fella, unless a woman is attractive on a level other than physical, I wont even get hard... im not a total animal, so fact is, if two people get phgysical then there is something more than sex, because they wouldnt have gotten that far otherwise, do they need to form some sort of intimate. relationship to continue that, no, the idea is it continues until they get bored, and then they walk away, otherwise they're attempting to keep it going through building a relationship around it, when it was only ever supposed to be casual sxex.....

I understand your view, sex is enough for you

no its not, but you cant have sex without already having a connection is the fact of the matter.....

"

It’s not about connection. I would assume most people need that to have sex. And it’s not about relationships.

It’s about good sex in the context of swinging /ENM and whether that is enough to stick around.

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo

sorry, ignore me, real life is impacting art or vice versa..... I shouldn't have said a word..... apologies im probably projecting or some shit like that.....

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
43 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We don’t apply social media to life.

A connection and investment In each other used to be commonplace in regards to relationships.

It was all part of the courtship.

I’d imagine having to write this down somewhere to remind oneself is a direct result of the generational reliance on media interaction.

Poor kids.

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By *eliWoman
43 weeks ago

.

It sounds really gimmicky.

Like the "if you can't handle me at my worst" quote. That school of "popular" things that gain traction.

I don't need all of the aforementioned factors to stick around. I do need some not mentioned. In terms of ENM, the words it stands for would be a basic building block for me.

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By *ranimallxl5Man
43 weeks ago

Winchester

Sex isn't enough I need Pringles too

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By *ake_or_deathMan
43 weeks ago

Manchester

No, the fact that a lady is willing to have sex with me is not enough on its own to keep me connected (in whatever way) to someone. But isn't that true of pretty much everyone?

That quote is a bit 'Eat, pray, love' for my tastes though and makes keeping me (whatever that means) like bloody hard work - and I'm not worth thar much effort!

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"No, the fact that a lady is willing to have sex with me is not enough on its own to keep me connected (in whatever way) to someone. But isn't that true of pretty much everyone?

That quote is a bit 'Eat, pray, love' for my tastes though and makes keeping me (whatever that means) like bloody hard work - and I'm not worth thar much effort! "

I get that….I think keeping someone (whatever that means) should take work, but shouldn’t be done begrudgingly! Some people are very hard work, and worth it, others are not.

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By *ellhungvweMan
43 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I am in this site because I _don’t_ want a long term relationship where I owe somebody a commitment. That doesn’t mean that I just want sex with anyone - what I really enjoy is meeting couples where they like having an occasional (and maybe regular) third in it. Over time you get to meet good friends and that is great but this site, for me, is about the fact that people enjoy sex for what it is and that’s the part of their/my life it is satisfying.

This whole relationship idea that seems to be increasingly permeating the forums over the past few years is definitely at odds with what I think people who actually meet want from the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

"

My soul is condemned.

I'm probably more intelligent than most anyway.

Silence is golden.

Just fuck me and buy me breakfast and I'm good.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
43 weeks ago

Staffordshire

She’s thick ^

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo

ohh this sounds weird to me...... you see I want a relationship, partnership, commitment to someone on an intimate and emotiona level, but for me, that isn't built on the idea that monogamy is a requirement, I. want a relationship, but not one that says either of us having sex with other people be it alone or together would ever come between the bond we have in that relationship.....

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By *TG3Man
43 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

"
Of course, i want their soul

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By *ominanTeeMan
43 weeks ago

Sligo


"Sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. Teach me, enlighten me, grow me, guide me, talk to me, love me.

See a lot of this going around on SM lately, what do you think ? Do you agree?.

I definitely agree some of it. Sex alone is a freely available commodity, even for an old man like me! There has to be more offered right?

My soul is condemned.

I'm probably more intelligent than most anyway.

Silence is golden.

Just fuck me and buy me breakfast and I'm good.

"

how about breakfast first then a fuck?

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
43 weeks ago

Maidstone


"When it comes to regular arrangements, there needs to be more on the table than just a penis. "

They need to at least throw in a pair of balls too

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I am in this site because I _don’t_ want a long term relationship where I owe somebody a commitment. That doesn’t mean that I just want sex with anyone - what I really enjoy is meeting couples where they like having an occasional (and maybe regular) third in it. Over time you get to meet good friends and that is great but this site, for me, is about the fact that people enjoy sex for what it is and that’s the part of their/my life it is satisfying.

This whole relationship idea that seems to be increasingly permeating the forums over the past few years is definitely at odds with what I think people who actually meet want from the site."

I think you’re reading more into it than is intended. It’s very much in the context is swinging/ENM not traditional relationships.

It’s about some very specific personal needs to stick around.

There’s nothing wrong at all with disagreeing and saying I no don’t need any of those things to have ongoing sex with someone, the sex is enough to sustain it.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"When it comes to regular arrangements, there needs to be more penis on the table. "

FIFY

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By *izandpaulCouple
43 weeks ago

merseyside

Lots of us on here have a wonderful life, including the sexual element and use a swingers site as a way to add another dimension as in recreational sex.

This is our secret life and one we like to keep private and try, as far as possible, to not mix our secret life with our day to day life.

We have swinger friends and vanilla friends and never the twain will mix.

If we wanted a deeper friendship / relationship with others don't think we would search a sex site, but each to their own.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

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By *esparate danMan
43 weeks ago

glasgow


"ohh this sounds weird to me...... you see I want a relationship, partnership, commitment to someone on an intimate and emotiona level, but for me, that isn't built on the idea that monogamy is a requirement, I. want a relationship, but not one that says either of us having sex with other people be it alone or together would ever come between the bond we have in that relationship..... "

What happened to your relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Sex isn't enough I need Pringles too"

Cake for me !

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I could relate it to football. I can relate Everything to football.

I like football and I would happily watch a Sunday league game. But I support team in the premier league, and that small for me I get a lot more out of it because my love for that team is there…..

I’ve made it weird now.

So I can enjoy sex for the whole fun of it with people who are also fun, but it’s not what I want. I do like it a lot more when it’s with someone who offers more than just sex. "

I'm gonna elaborate on your football analogy Woody. Obvs I don't play at all and it was always rugby for me, but pretend I do...

I worked my ass off to get into the team I'd always dreamt of playing for. It meant a lot of work to get there but I managed. It wasn't just about the actual playing, I enjoyed the training, the teamwork, the practice and developing new skills together and of course the huge social life too. As well as the main club, I also played semi regularly for a couple of others, some where there was less training and less of a social scene and it was just a case of turn up on the day and play. Still very enjoyable though.

That said....I still loved a kick (or throw) around with others, especially people I didn't play with regularly. I even enjoyed just bumping into fellow players on the beach or in the park just to toss a ball around for an hour or two.

To me that mirrors relationships, FB's/FWB's and clubs/events/random fab meets. All serve a purpose and can compliment eachother and be enjoyable.

Life doesn't have to be one size fits all and your activities don't have to stick to one certain design or model. You can get 'more' or 'less' from one kind of relationship or interaction than another and there still be value.

*PS. Hope the social was a blast.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
43 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

There's an awful lot of people asking to be nurtured.

Very few offering it back tho ....

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Lots of us on here have a wonderful life, including the sexual element and use a swingers site as a way to add another dimension as in recreational sex.

This is our secret life and one we like to keep private and try, as far as possible, to not mix our secret life with our day to day life.

We have swinger friends and vanilla friends and never the twain will mix.

If we wanted a deeper friendship / relationship with others don't think we would search a sex site, but each to their own.

Hope you find what you are looking for. "

I’ve swung for many years in couples, never needed to hide who I was from my monogamous friends or colleagues. If they would judge for being authentic I don’t think I’d want them as friends

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By *rHotNotts OP   Man
43 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"There's an awful lot of people asking to be nurtured.

Very few offering it back tho .... "

I know. It’s rare on here…….why do you think that is ?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
43 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss

It's good to see the young people looking for more, than some of the dysfunctional relationships they settle in, just to have a partner.

On here I'm a disposable commodity, a Vagina on legs to fuck once and leave, searching for more, from people incapable to give more, is a soul destroying activity.

I guess that's why I stopped looking for new people a long time ago. Concentrating on my long term partners, is much more rewarding for me, than the fleeting new people/sex thrill

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

I agree to an extent. However like it or not the casual encounters we all have are just that 'casual'. It's lovely to dress it up as more, maybe it makes people feel better about the love 'em and leave 'em attitude that most swingers have. Of course a lot of people make good friends but often there's no sexual element to it.

Do I detect a sense of shame (that never really went away) creeping back into sexual pleasure outside of established relationships?

Longer term people need most of what's described in the op but mostly everyone is paying bills and cooking dinner while getting their soul fed by reading about other people's wonderful lives wondering why they aren't on the same elevated spiritual level.

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By *izandpaulCouple
43 weeks ago

merseyside


"Lots of us on here have a wonderful life, including the sexual element and use a swingers site as a way to add another dimension as in recreational sex.

This is our secret life and one we like to keep private and try, as far as possible, to not mix our secret life with our day to day life.

We have swinger friends and vanilla friends and never the twain will mix.

If we wanted a deeper friendship / relationship with others don't think we would search a sex site, but each to their own.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

I’ve swung for many years in couples, never needed to hide who I was from my monogamous friends or colleagues. If they would judge for being authentic I don’t think I’d want them as friends "

Well each to their own.

I have never told family, friends, work colleagues or indeed anyone outside swinging that we are involved in this lifestyle.

It's our secret pastime, that's what makes it even more exciting.

The thought of our family and friends having any idea is out of the question.

But like I said, each to their own and that's why we could never even think of introducing you to our vanilla friends as you may think it was OK to out us but I'm sure you would not dream of being discreet.

Happy swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I'm always looking for partners who may become long-term partners. One-offs might be fun, but meeting regularly and exploring during long sessions is best. SM is one way of making your sex life more interesting, but it's not just about putting someone in cuffs. As all good sex, most of it happens inside your head. I have a friend who messaged me recently to ask me if I still have the first collar and cuffs we played in. She wants to wear them again after a couple of years of wearing a new set. I still have it and I can tell you that applying leather cream to it, polishing it brought back great memories. You cannot get that from a one-off quickie.

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