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Whsts your favourite off the cuff reply?

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By *ot to giggle OP   Woman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

im so well behaved, no sense of humour ... but the same questions even i cant resist

Recently asked what i liked, my reply was cheese and tolberone, but not together .... they weren't specific, and it was lunchtime

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

When men send a message saying "mmmmm" I ask why they are making microwave noises.

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By *elix SightedMan
36 weeks ago

Cloud 8

At Cornell University in America they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunnelling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Now - fack orff.

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By *viatrixWoman
36 weeks ago

Redhill

“U interested hun”

“Should I be?”

Gets me a block or being called u fat n ugly 9 out of 10 times.

But they stop pestering.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
36 weeks ago

Kendal

I once had a guy constantly messaging wanting me to cheat and go fuck him.

He said "come on, you know I'd love to fuck you"

I replied "Come on, you know I'd love never to see you in my life and hit the block button so you can't contact me again"

Blocked him. Felt so satisfied with my reply even though its not exactly whitty or humorous

C xoxox

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By *onnynclaireCouple
36 weeks ago

Reading

Message “hi. How are you”

My reply:

“Not been too good” I go off on some random spiel and totally make them wish they never asked

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By *irthandgirthMan
36 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

My favourite is 'this sounds like a you problem, not a me problem'

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By *endalshaggersCouple
36 weeks ago

Kendal


"My favourite is 'this sounds like a you problem, not a me problem'

"

My husband uses this phrase all the time, so annoying!!!

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By *cuk4funCouple
36 weeks ago

city centre

Whenever we get messages from guys under 25 , we reply " I've got coats older than you" ...works every time

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By *imply DeeWoman
36 weeks ago

Wherever

When they ask “why the hell you’re single?” I usually respond “probably because I’m fat, ugly, broken and mentally unstable”.

I never hear from them again.

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By *parkle1974Woman
36 weeks ago

Leeds


"Message “hi. How are you”

My reply:

“Not been too good” I go off on some random spiel and totally make them wish they never asked "

I was just about to type the same thing

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
36 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

To someone who interrupts...

"This conversation is A to B, C your way out of it and get tae fuck."

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By *irthandgirthMan
36 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster


"My favourite is 'this sounds like a you problem, not a me problem'

My husband uses this phrase all the time, so annoying!!! "

I used it a lot in previous jobs when I knew I was leaving. I also signed off my emails with ZFG*

*(Zero Fucks Given).

Nobody ever questioned it.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
36 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

On answer to the "how long is a piece of string statement".

"Twice as long as half of it". Sit back and watch the cogs turn.

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By *a LunaWoman
36 weeks ago

South Wales

How are you finding Fab?

Well mostly via Google…..

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By *ou only live onceMan
36 weeks ago

London


"At Cornell University in America they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunnelling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Now - fack orff."

Rolls off the tongue, Felix.

(It's great though!)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West


"On answer to the "how long is a piece of string statement".

"Twice as long as half of it". Sit back and watch the cogs turn."

Twice the distance from the middle to the end, is my reply to that!

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By *ad HardcoreMan
36 weeks ago

A Chippy Near You...


"When they ask “why the hell you’re single?” I usually respond “probably because I’m fat, ugly, broken and mentally unstable”.

I never hear from them again. "

Wish I had the inbox to make a retort like that

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
36 weeks ago

St Leonards

It's usually the one I think of two hours later .

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By *ad HardcoreMan
36 weeks ago

A Chippy Near You...

This is off the cuff

'A fairer society. Before that happens though, how about a deeply satisfying shag?'

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
36 weeks ago

Sherwood Forest

How's you day been?

Reply... "not telling you" or "its got nothing to do with you"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
36 weeks ago

ashford

I would squish u to death! When asked would u sit on my face! x

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Message “hi. How are you”

My reply:

“Not been too good” I go off on some random spiel and totally make them wish they never asked "

Love this one.

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By *imply DeeWoman
36 weeks ago

Wherever


"When they ask “why the hell you’re single?” I usually respond “probably because I’m fat, ugly, broken and mentally unstable”.

I never hear from them again.

Wish I had the inbox to make a retort like that "

In my case it actually the truth so me being unapologetically honest saves anyone’s time before they got to find out in person.

Win win.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"When men send a message saying "mmmmm" I ask why they are making microwave noises."

Gonna have to remember that one

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By *ad HardcoreMan
36 weeks ago

A Chippy Near You...


"When they ask “why the hell you’re single?” I usually respond “probably because I’m fat, ugly, broken and mentally unstable”.

I never hear from them again.

Wish I had the inbox to make a retort like that

In my case it actually the truth so me being unapologetically honest saves anyone’s time before they got to find out in person.

Win win. "

Fair points if true ...

But you maybe underselling yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I would squish u to death! When asked would u sit on my face! x"

Can think of worse ways to climb the curtain and join the choir invisible

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"What you up to??"

I generally reply

'Wasting my time answering pointless messages'

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"At Cornell University in America they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunnelling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. If I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Now - fack orff."

Frasier Crane, over here it's a great quote though

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