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Seeing yourself through others eyes

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By *ilthycoupleabz OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Aberdeen

So MrPickle's mirror thread got me pondering. Again. I should probably avoid that but anyway, here we are regardless.

Do you think what you see in the mirror is what everyone else sees too?

For example - my friend thinks her arms look massive and ugly but I simply don't see it. Her arms are normal arms! Nothing wrong with them at all.

We both see her body but view it differently.

So, is that true of most of our internal insecurities? Massive to us but minor to others?

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I think I look good in the mirror. Others clearly disagree.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
36 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

No. I really don’t think the majority of us do.

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By *ilthycoupleabz OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Aberdeen


"I think I look good in the mirror. Others clearly disagree. "

They are clearly delusional and probably need glasses

MrsAbz

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By *heSwingingNerd42Man
36 weeks ago

Carlow And


"So MrPickle's mirror thread got me pondering. Again. I should probably avoid that but anyway, here we are regardless.

Do you think what you see in the mirror is what everyone else sees too?

For example - my friend thinks her arms look massive and ugly but I simply don't see it. Her arms are normal arms! Nothing wrong with them at all.

We both see her body but view it differently.

So, is that true of most of our internal insecurities? Massive to us but minor to others?

MrsAbz"

I think some people see themselves how they think others see them like others might not see anything wrong but if they see one little detail on themselves their mind could exaggerate it when they’re looking at themselves like that’s the case with me looking at myself in the mirror I always spot something wrong even though there might not be anything wrong

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By *ilthycoupleabz OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Aberdeen


"No. I really don’t think the majority of us do. "

I'm beginning to think this is the way of it. I would love it if I could let people see themseves how I see them

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I think I look good in the mirror. Others clearly disagree.

They are clearly delusional and probably need glasses

MrsAbz"

That’s what I think too!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Probably not, but then I don't much care how others see me. I think I got past that after leaving school, life's too busy to be worrying about others opinions on what they see when they look at me.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

The way I perceive myself does seem to be different to how my husband and some other people perceive me, yes. I think I'm enormously fat and I don't like it. I'm self conscious about how fat my tummy looks when I'm seated in the wheelchair. At one point, I'd built up really muscly arms and shoulders and I liked those, but my recent issues with food have resulted in them mainly melting away and my arms are now flabby and I hate them. My boobs have shrunk s bit and I don't like that either. The lack of oestrogen recently has seen my skin wrinkle and dry out - don't like it, feel like I've aged massively and I found my first gray hair too.

I feel like I'm falling to pieces and that I'm no longer me, for lots of reasons.

That's my confession for today, anyway

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By *agnar73Man
36 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I don’t think it possible to see what others see and I get very embrasssed at any praise directed to me.

Been told I looked better after losing some weight but I still think I’m huge

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

No, I'd love to see myself through the eyes of others, especially the Mr I've had his eyes tested and everything & he still seems to like what he sees, I just don't get it.

Mrs

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By *929Man
36 weeks ago

newcastle

I think we all prone to body dysmorphia to a certain degree, I always see self and think looking small, yet others at the gym say different think most of us see worse than we really are I have met a few that are the other way round though haha but thing majority of people are the first type

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

Nobody sees themselves as others see them physically or personality wise. That's why it's cultivating good self esteem in ourselves and encouraging it in others is so important. Otherwise you end up with a load of people constantly worrying what everyone else thinks of them

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By *eneralKenobiMan
36 weeks ago

North Angus

Don’t really give much thought towards others opinions of me if I’m honest

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By *sWyldWoman
36 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I think many of us see ourselves in ways other's don't. I for one would love to see me through their eyes

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By *odgerMooreMan
36 weeks ago

Carlisle

Anyone looking at me will need heat resistant shades - #hotas….. did someone above say …‘delusional’?

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

I'd love to see myself through other people's eyes... mostly because my own are absolutely crap

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
36 weeks ago

kent

I have pondered this too, OP, but I have no answers to give. I know what I see in the mirror, but I have no clue at all what other people see. I am amazed whenever someone pays me a compliment - it doesn’t happen often - and I wonder what on Earth have they seen that I have missed. But why there is such a disparity, I have no clue.

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By *a LunaWoman
36 weeks ago

South Wales

I think I tend to look better than I actually do. My personal style is akin to that of Helena Bonham Carter, but if she were plus sized and had a much smaller income.

Other folk probably wince.

But who cares, life is too short for combing your hair!

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By *iddlesticksMan
36 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m not sure about physically but I often wonder if people see me as the person I feel I am.

You know the old, if it’s everybody else, then it’s you, thing.

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By *r TriomanMan
36 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I realised that we never see ourselves or indeed anyone else as they actually are; all images go through some sort of lens then a processor (brain, digital, chemical..) therefore, even if both or these (lens, processor) were off the highest quality, with zero errors or imperfects, there will be some distortion to the image.

In terms of how we see ourselves, yes, we can massively over focus on minor bodily 'imperfections', which, ironically, people are unaware of until we point them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Most people project negative thinking in the mirror and no amount of compliments change that. I can guarantee that the little things we all obsess over, no one else cares. We'd all be a lot more secure if we could see ourselves through others eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Self confidence and consciousness is a fine line with me.

I know, I look alright, and I don’t look my age or at least I don’t act my age. But if I stay too long in the mirror, I see the laughter lines around my eyes, I see the grey in my hair, and I just look older than I feel, so I do wonder that’s how people view me - older than I feel.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Self confidence and consciousness is a fine line with me.

I know, I look alright, and I don’t look my age or at least I don’t act my age. But if I stay too long in the mirror, I see the laughter lines around my eyes, I see the grey in my hair, and I just look older than I feel, so I do wonder that’s how people view me - older than I feel. "

Once you get to about 55 everyone views you as older than you feel. You've got a while yet

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By *hesblokeMan
36 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

Had a chat with a friend about this earlier, we both decided to believe the other person - she thinks I'm hot (no way, far too thin etc.) and I think she's hot (she says not at all).

Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.

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By *en JerkinoffMan
36 weeks ago

whitehaven

I have major self image problems born from low self-esteem. So understood where you friend is coming from op.

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