FabSwingers.com forum: People who commit suicide

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latter

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been effected by this and i go with the latter also.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Latter.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very brave in my opinion!! When I was at my lowest point although I tried, I wasn't brave enough to leave others behind with the pain and questions why.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Latter. "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

latter

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latter"

When I was 17 my best friend committed suicide. I've no idea why he did it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"Very brave in my opinion!! When I was at my lowest point although I tried, I wasn't brave enough to leave others behind with the pain and questions why. "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Latter

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hris148Man
over a year ago

Latter. Society fails those who succeed with suicide

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Definitely the latter.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my very good friend...I would say the latter.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The latter...I think it must take great courage to yake your own life

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been effected by this and i go with the latter also."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latter"
I would say however i think suicide bombers are the former.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*take

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

A good friend of mine hung himself the week before Xmas leaving behind a family including 2 daughters aged around 19 and 7 (ish)

I hate to think he was in such a bad place that he couldn't see a way out apart from this.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *picenicelyCouple
over a year ago

third star on the right

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latter"

Option C.. Mental health issues that (perhaps) make them believe it is the best thing to do

Either way the latter and C

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latterI would say however i think suicide bombers are the former.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *hris148Man
over a year ago

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latterI would say however i think suicide bombers are the former.

Good point

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without going into much detail the latter without doubt.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

I am on the fence with this one!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a subject very close to my heart. I think that they truly see no other way. It's also harder than you think to do.

I have to deal with people that have tried every week and have a family member currently distraught because they were saved. It's heart breaking but till you have felt that low, that helpless, so alone and that you really have no choice you can not judge

irony is its not illegal to attempt suicide, just to actually do it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost my best friend at 16 as he chose to end it all.

I think it is more of the latter but a little of the former too. The pain he left his family and friends with was unbearable but I think if you are that low you don't tend to take others feelings into account

Mrs xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I would say latter....

Family & Friends may think differently...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"I am on the fence with this one!!"
Mind you don't fall off

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

samaritans are there 24 hours a day to chat to when people get so low thay cant take no more ... when people chat get things out in the open it helps them to see more clear .. its a lonely place when feeling that low. And sitting down or phoning a person who will not judge just listen helps.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Despair.. depressed and sad..not knowing which way to turn. Feeling as if no one cares so its not a selfish thing .

Just no way out.

dont think they are well enough mentally to imagine anyone would care to be honest.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

"I am on the fence with this one!!Mind you don't fall off

bump.... too late

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"samaritans are there 24 hours a day to chat to when people get so low thay cant take no more ... when people chat get things out in the open it helps them to see more clear .. its a lonely place when feeling that low. And sitting down or phoning a person who will not judge just listen helps."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *roovytwoCouple
over a year ago

burnley

Unfortunately...totally in despair and can't see any other way out...but sometimes if we were more vigilant and aware of others feelings and emotions some can be helped.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Society fails many. I'm currently trying to understand why 7 quite serious attempts in 10days doesn't have someone close to me locked up safe. But apparently no. Once medically stable released back to the community, to do it again.

As a family member its heart breaking and I am wondering if it will take her life to be over before they will say there were issues.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

the latter definitely. its so sad to think that some people feel they cant turn to anyoe in the hour of absolute need

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someones demons are so bad there is no amount of listening and reassurance that can help..if they have sunk to this point there isn't much more anyone can do...and they wont tell anyone what they are doing they just do it.

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After coming through a painful divorce

Very low yet Suicide not an option , it seemed harder to make it through each day, cut out drinking and joined Samaritans to put something back from what I believed I had learned.

Some very lonely unhappy souls out there, takes a very brave or temporarily

Disillusioned person to take that decision. Such a tragic shame

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *li87Man
over a year ago

Manchester/Kendal

It's all the things and more when someone threatens to do it the ultimate revenge. Best way to hurt someone. "Your not caring about me" "you don't love me" by doing it right you are inflicting a terrible pain on those around you who love you. It's very difficult call as to what it is when someone is threatening it. But yes if they do it then mentally unstable. You have to be mentally unstable to end your own life. As our natural reaction should be to self preservation

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"After coming through a painful divorce

Very low yet Suicide not an option , it seemed harder to make it through each day, cut out drinking and joined Samaritans to put something back from what I believed I had learned.

Some very lonely unhappy souls out there, takes a very brave or temporarily

Disillusioned person to take that decision. Such a tragic shame"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been There myself, but it was the loss of my friend to suicide and the effect that it had on his family that stopped me from doing it. No one knows to this day why he did it. But i was at the lowest point in my life when i was thinking of it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

My two boys lost their father to suicide aged 8 and 12, the latter in my opinion.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

samaritans are there for those people to. they are just there to listen. some people dont wat to be alone when the end comes and samaritans will be there for them to.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

when my mum took her own life, she left a note and all her insurance policies, all her financial matters and the cemetery plot details all laid out for me to find.

It was the least selfish thing she do for me knowing the devastation of finding her and the impact thereafter.

considered whilst in total despair.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friends body was found hanging by his 3 year old daughter.

I don't know what was going through his mind, it obviously wasn't good - but I don't see that as brave, I see it as really fucking selfish and had he known how he'd be found he'd have agreed.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

samaritans are there for those people to. they are just there to listen. some people dont wat to be alone when the end comes and samaritans will be there for them to."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A good friend of mine hung himself the week before Xmas leaving behind a family including 2 daughters aged around 19 and 7 (ish)

I hate to think he was in such a bad place that he couldn't see a way out apart from this. "

We have had a tenant hung herself a few weeks ago leaving behind a 9 year old daughter, thing is no-one knew that she was suffering from depression, her mother is still inconsolable

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

"
I would agree with that. Sometimes a suicide "attempt" is a cry for help in itself and not a legitimate attempt, if that makes sense. Sad either way.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"My friends body was found hanging by his 3 year old daughter.

I don't know what was going through his mind, it obviously wasn't good - but I don't see that as brave, I see it as really fucking selfish and had he known how he'd be found he'd have agreed."

but he didnt know...i am sorry that that happened but if you know that he wouldnt hve wanted isdaughter to find him surely that is proof that he was too far beyond rational thought?

this is a really sensitive subject and please dont take this as me saying you are wrong or picking a fight, it is just my outlook on things.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Latter, a colleague of mine, her son took his own life. Five years later she still asks why. The pain in her eyes is heart breaking to see.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking does not always help, the only time i have ever felt this low was after the death of my son, i think i can honestly say had i not had my daughter i would have killed myself, she was the only thing that kept me going, and even then i felt like she would be better off without me at times as i blamed myself for my sons death and i felt i was unfit to have a child, as a mother we feel we should be there for our kids and the fact i was powerless to help him put great guilt and pressure on me, i was under a shrink for years after and they didn't help me at all, for some things talking don't help

Cowards way out? maybe, i felt i would rather be dead than face my life without him, yes that makes me selfish but at that point in my life i just didn't care about anyone else

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

"
well i was one and we are told ..... never think if thay say thay are going to ..... thay will not ,, as some will ..... some you can help just being there listening and them knowing thay are not alone.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I would agree with that. Sometimes a suicide "attempt" is a cry for help in itself and not a legitimate attempt, if that makes sense. Sad either way.

thats very true..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My friends body was found hanging by his 3 year old daughter.

I don't know what was going through his mind, it obviously wasn't good - but I don't see that as brave, I see it as really fucking selfish and had he known how he'd be found he'd have agreed.

but he didnt know...i am sorry that that happened but if you know that he wouldnt hve wanted isdaughter to find him surely that is proof that he was too far beyond rational thought?

this is a really sensitive subject and please dont take this as me saying you are wrong or picking a fight, it is just my outlook on things."

Oh there's no doubt he'd got himself into a bad place, and it was very out of character. But the fact is that at that point he was utterly selfish - be that beyond his control or not, it's still what he was, and in the end I can't see that as in any way brave.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

neither cowardly or brave- its clearly an unstable mind from given events that the persons cant deal with

of course another way of thinking is a clearly rational person could say they just do not wish to live and there could be a multitude of scientific or metaphysical reasons for that

however as most of us know..the known 'use' of suicide is based on traumatic events of varying levels

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the ones that talk about it that want the help the ones that don't talk can see noway out

well i was one and we are told ..... never think if thay say thay are going to ..... thay will not ,, as some will ..... some you can help just being there listening and them knowing thay are not alone."

Anyone like yourself who do this valuable service are in my _iew very special people. Thanks

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when my mum took her own life, she left a note and all her insurance policies, all her financial matters and the cemetery plot details all laid out for me to find.

It was the least selfish thing she do for me knowing the devastation of finding her and the impact thereafter.

considered whilst in total despair.

Like wise my father hung himself and had arranged everything before hand and left it all ready...He had cancer and was suffering and thought it less selfish to go how he did then to have to have us watch him suffer any more then we had to.He also made sure he would not be found by any of us and it would be emergency services.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alot of the time when people are that low family and friends are to close to help ...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I remember finding a former service user hanging because he could not cope with his addiction no longer. It still haunts me to this day.. I wished I could of helped him.. He was a good looking man and what a waste of a life... xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when my mum took her own life, she left a note and all her insurance policies, all her financial matters and the cemetery plot details all laid out for me to find.

It was the least selfish thing she do for me knowing the devastation of finding her and the impact thereafter.

considered whilst in total despair.

That however sounds very brave

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"My friends body was found hanging by his 3 year old daughter.

I don't know what was going through his mind, it obviously wasn't good - but I don't see that as brave, I see it as really fucking selfish and had he known how he'd be found he'd have agreed.

but he didnt know...i am sorry that that happened but if you know that he wouldnt hve wanted isdaughter to find him surely that is proof that he was too far beyond rational thought?

this is a really sensitive subject and please dont take this as me saying you are wrong or picking a fight, it is just my outlook on things.

no, i would never say it was a brave thing to do.a tough thing yes, the body wants to live.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone I knew committed suicide. The truly sad and confusing thing was that he was a pillar of strength and inspiration to so many.

We ask why to this day.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when my mum took her own life, she left a note and all her insurance policies, all her financial matters and the cemetery plot details all laid out for me to find.

It was the least selfish thing she do for me knowing the devastation of finding her and the impact thereafter.

considered whilst in total despair.

i find that totally different

Someone who is terminally ill taking their life is understandable by most people

Im not saying its any easier to loose someone you love, but if someone who you thought was ok took their life you'd ask yourself forever why?...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Sad to see so many people just in this forum who have first hand experience of this.

I think every case is individual, but sad that every person just 'needed help' . x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say the latter, I am sure that anyone who takes their own life aren't selfish or cowardly! I also wouldn't call it brave!

Who knows what's going on on their heads? But to feel that you no longer want to live must be an awful feeling

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I don't believe it's at either end of the spectrum but somewhere around the middle. Someone has to be incredibly selfish to leave behind the despair and devastation that family and friends feel but then they would also have to be truly desperate to actually go through with it.

Sadly a lot of suicides are people making a desperate cry for help but they are simply not found in time

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friends cousin did it when she was 14, down to bullies at school. Also, recently a school friend of my sons committed suicide - he had been to afghanistan at age of 16, was only 25. both very sad, all suicides are

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think i have ever heard of anyone doing it out selfishness.

Definately the latter. Most do it out of dispair

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter attempted suicide when she was 15 as a cry for help after seeing her dad ( my ex) try to strangle me. He still cant see what he did to her. She is almost 21 now and has only got her life back on track in the last year. Sometimes its a cry for help that goes too far.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the problem is we all have our own levels of coping, some do it better than others and what made seem bad enough to push someone over the edge to one person someone else may look and think......it wasn't that bad, so it may seem cowardly and selfish to them as it wouldn't be something that they found bad enough to take their life for

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've lost 2 good friends in the past year to this dreadful disease, because i truely think it is a disease, mentally. i even got one friend who has bipolar and at the moment, he questions why he wakes up each day.

i can't say that it's a brave or stupid thing, as what goes through peoples head when they are that low, is a mystery. It isn't cowardly though

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Whilst I sympathise with those who've decided to take their life, I find it difficult to forgive them when they've taken innocent lives.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey i have never posted anything on here before but could not pass this one by . I lost my father when i was 12 . Never cryed for him until the day i had my daughter and that was 12 years later . Yes i hated him for what he had done and also for missing out on not seeing his grand daughter grow up . I think it takes alot of guts to take your own life and leave loved once behind . Yes it is hard for everyone that is left behind to deal with everything and have loads of questions of why and what could we have done to stop it . At the end of the day if someone has got it into thier minds to do it no one is going to stop them x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something very close to me too and I say latter too

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"i've lost 2 good friends in the past year to this dreadful disease, because i truely think it is a disease, mentally. i even got one friend who has bipolar and at the moment, he questions why he wakes up each day.

i can't say that it's a brave or stupid thing, as what goes through peoples head when they are that low, is a mystery. It isn't cowardly though

So true

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

i can't say that it's a brave or stupid thing, as what goes through peoples head when they are that low, is a mystery. It isn't cowardly though

So true

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither.... Each of the two choices assumes cognitive response to a rational thought process....

In the mental state where a totally irrational action is taken, the brain has produced too much / not enough of the chemicals required to make a cognitive choice..... This cerebral response is most likely the cause of many external events, the sum of which imbalances the chemistry to a point where the rational self preservation mechanism simply cannot function.....

If caught in time, the "little tablets" may be enough to redress the chemical imbalance....

If not...........

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will go with the latter ... so sad they feel.only way out

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey i have never posted anything on here before but could not pass this one by . I lost my father when i was 12 . Never cryed for him until the day i had my daughter and that was 12 years later . Yes i hated him for what he had done and also for missing out on not seeing his grand daughter grow up . I think it takes alot of guts to take your own life and leave loved once behind . Yes it is hard for everyone that is left behind to deal with everything and have loads of questions of why and what could we have done to stop it . At the end of the day if someone has got it into thier minds to do it no one is going to stop them x"
Nice to meet you and welcome here on the forums. And yes i bet you had 101 questions why and if only.... I know i would and felt so hurt . You must have felt allsorts.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"My daughter attempted suicide when she was 15 as a cry for help after seeing her dad ( my ex) try to strangle me. He still cant see what he did to her. She is almost 21 now and has only got her life back on track in the last year. Sometimes its a cry for help that goes too far."

I tried to commit suicide when I was 15 as I was being bullied so badly... I had my arm broken because someone pushed me down the stairs... A girl told me that some guy fancied me and said he would meet me.. ofcourse he never showed up and was told who would fancy a big lump of lard... I went home and took a huge overdose.. It was more a cry for help than anything else but at that point I have never hated myself more than that day..

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *xicebabyxxWoman
over a year ago

leigh

I agree with the latter that some one can only see that way out but then on the other hand it's totally selfish what about the consequences after they have been found and how much trauma it can cause to the person that finds them

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

its a completely dismall state of affairs and for those who are affected by it .. its usually very lonely .. i have alot of time for people affected with mental health issues

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who commit suicide I feel are not brave or selfish. They are just in a different frame of mind from the rest of us. It may be a selfish act they commit by jumping in front of a train, upsetting the train driver, the police who have to pick up the body parts and their friends and family but I just suppose they cannot think things through

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad attempted suicide when I was 18 but luckily he was found in time.

Today we said goodbye to a family member who took his own life, he had never gotten over the tragic death of his wife five years ago. He was a well liked man who done alot to help others but just couldnt cope, the crematorium was standing room only and one of the loveliest send offs I have seen

Gill

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"on the other hand it's totally selfish"

What option do they have if “they” believe medication / counselling isn't working?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/03/13 23:44:49]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking does not always help, the only time i have ever felt this low was after the death of my son, i think i can honestly say had i not had my daughter i would have killed myself, she was the only thing that kept me going, and even then i felt like she would be better off without me at times as i blamed myself for my sons death and i felt i was unfit to have a child, as a mother we feel we should be there for our kids and the fact i was powerless to help him put great guilt and pressure on me, i was under a shrink for years after and they didn't help me at all, for some things talking don't help

Cowards way out? maybe, i felt i would rather be dead than face my life without him, yes that makes me selfish but at that point in my life i just didn't care about anyone else"

I go with the latter too. This post struck a chord with me. My sister died of cot death and my mum almost immediately got pregnant and she said if it was not for the birth of my younger sister she would of killed herself. Even though she already had 3 children, she was so consumed with grief that she couldnt 'let us surving children in' we were only little too and didnt understand. Being utterly unconsolable, grief striken, seeing no way forward past that minute/second, being in that much pain, can lead to all rational thought going out the window, she would of rather died than live another second feeling that pain. Death is preferrable to life as life is too painful.

When she had my little sister it gave her the ability to slowly start functioning again, ive always been understanding about it but when I had my own baby it really hit home with me

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Cowards way out? maybe, i felt i would rather be dead than face my life without him, yes that makes me selfish but at that point in my life i just didn't care about anyone else

When she had my little sister it gave her the ability to slowly start functioning again, ive always been understanding about it but when I had my own baby it really hit home with me"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some really sad stories on here, my son had a real drug problem 2 years ago and called me maybe 15 times threatening suicide, in my mind I even thought of his funeral to prepare myself

Gladly he is clean and well now but this "disease" is the biggest killer of men under 25. I worry in their futures with today's pressures and no job futures dumped by this regime.life is so fast for everyone scurrying around , people go unnoticed . There is no real follow ups to suicide attempts, maybe they should be detained until safe again, but money is the issue yet again at the cost of many tragic lives. Nice to know on a swingers site so many nice people

We should offer counselling

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The latter,, i sort of understand the feeling why someone does it now after last year, i was constantly suffering panic attacks through bad anxiety and depression problems, still do,, but during a low point, in the middle of an attack i saw a knife left on a table, and i will never forget the thoughts of how easy it would be to just run that knife over my wrists and how it would put an end to how i was feeling this bad,, and the feeling of excitement if i actually picked it up terrifies me even now,somehow i turned and walked away, never gave a thought to anyone else but to being free from my mental health problems,, it still really scares me at the thought, that's the first time i have ever shared that, wow

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Its the latter. It's so painful on the ones you have left behind. You never fully get over it and always wonder why. You hope upon hope there is an afterlife. You hope one day you will see them again and get to find out why. Find out why they never told anybody how they were feeling. Be able to give them a hug again.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Neither.... Each of the two choices assumes cognitive response to a rational thought process....

If caught in time, the "little tablets" may be enough to redress the chemical imbalance....

If not..........."

Sadly the little tablets do not work for everyone and some some cases makes things worse.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I think the pain is too great. They know the pain it will cause but their pain is greater. I don't see it as being selfish or they don't care they just want the pain to stop. Sadly they come to the conclusion suicide is the only way to do that.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *udemattMan
over a year ago

sleaford

I have come close myself even had the nose tied but was way to chicken to go through with it.

I got their by feeling that I was at the best part of my life and the fact I hadn't achieved anything and wasn't any good at communicating with anyone or anything making me happy.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think some people are downright nasty and selfish to the very end. Someone who goes into their child's room and blows their own brains out knowing their child will find them is not brave in my _iew.

Losing your home and on moving day with your wife and children in the car say you're going to make a final check then hang yourself while they're waiting for you is not brave either, in my _iew.

Killing your kids then yourself to spite a partner is certainly not brave in my _iew.

There are people in such pain and turmoil that the only way out is suicide and don't class that as brave I see it as their solution. Some reach for medical help, some think that will just delay the inevitable.

We all tackle lifes challenges in different ways. Some people for example commit suicide when they become disabled, others readjust and win Olympic gold medals: either way, a permanent solution for what is normally a temporary problem!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/03/13 03:41:56]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow... what a thread and it's actually reassuring to see so many people who have felt the same way I have done.

When I overdosed, there was no other option in my mind because I had no future, nothing to look forward to, no hope, I was useless and it was pointless being alive. I was never going to become anything worthwhile and I would never live up to the expectations that had been laid out for me. I didn't think about family or friends or who would find me and how it would affect them. I wasn't capable of thinking. All I could wish was that I had never existed.

I was found. Ironically, it was whatever was in the drip that they gave me that nearly killed me. I have memories of everything inside me burning and vomiting uncontrollablly and I even remember what it feels like to have a defribulator used on me when I went into cardiac arrest.

Counselling was the biggest waste of time I had ever encountered (for me-I realise it isn't for everyone) and friends and family thought I was stupid and selfish for doing it which nearly tipped me over a second time. Only God knows what stopped me. What equates to probably less than 15 seconds of memory of that night at the hospital was enough to make me decide that I wasn't going to do that again but there used to be something in the back of my mind which said if I did try again, I wouldn't be bought back.

I have spent over half my life fighting manic depression/bipolar (whatever label you wanna call it-it doesn't matter. What matters is that it's eating away at someone's mind) and I still have episodes where I cannot physically go outside, get out of bed, eat, drink, talk or anything normal other than stare blankly into space or cry uncontrollablly. I still think about suicide and the peace it could bring but I have changed.

I have made myself a life which I enjoy and is worth living. I am not successful, I am not rich, I am not intelligent (in my mind), I have no talents but what I do ensure that I have is a good laugh and a lot of fun. I am selfish as I am now living my life for me. When I was told in counselling that I should think of others, all I could feel was guilt. Guilt for existing in the first place and for being a waste of space. Now I think of me and take responsibility for myself and put myself in situations I enjoy regularly to make my stupid head realise that life is good and there's a lot of fun to be had.

I don't think I'll ever be cured of depression and I think it's a demon that will live with me forever but rather than indulge the depression, I indulge my hunger for fun and laughter.

Excuse the long post-this is something I deal with every day and anyone with mental illness will be the same but I am the only person who can stop me from doing the same thing I did all those years ago. There's not a shrink or pill in the world that's strong enough to overcome what I have felt but I am thankful that I am so selfish to want to do whatever I want so that I enjoy myself because it's that hunger for life that keeps me going.

crystal

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was 21 I took an overdose of beaterblockers 38 in all laid on the floor and said I want to die. I want to die. I almost succeeded had I not been found by my bosses daughter.

My heart rate went down to 18 beats a min. I had a ride in Cornwall's air ambulance from Newquay to Truro.

In hospital for 24 hours was called a selfish person by more than one member of staff for wasting their time. They said I was taking up a bed needlessly. So this is the caring profession I thought.

The reason I took my overdose. I thought I had lost my job I thought my family had turned against me. My first long term relationship had come to an end. Sent my ex a birthday card throu a very good friend of mine. She turned round to him and said "if I had known it was from him I would not have bothered opening it" those words still haunt me to this day. I thought I had lost where I was living. I was having panic attacks.

I honestly thought I had no way out of it all.

I am sorry I felt the NHS had let me down that day. The one thing they did do was put me off doing it again by giving me the charcoal solution to drink. Most disgusting. Not present coming out for the next week either.

I'm still here all these years later. Yes I have felt suicidal a few times since but never actually tried it again.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when my mum took her own life, she left a note and all her insurance policies, all her financial matters and the cemetery plot details all laid out for me to find.

It was the least selfish thing she do for me knowing the devastation of finding her and the impact thereafter.

considered whilst in total despair.

A relative of mine did this, the pain etc from the cancer was unbearable for her.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

1 mother , 2 best friends..

Total feeling of despair I would say.....though that may be only their reality.....

2 suffered from I am not worthy..

1 from a life long anger issue.....

Mum left us (3 boys aged 15, 16 and 7).... Considering she wasn't good enough for us ....she was wrong

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad attempted suicide when I was 18 but luckily he was found in time.

Gill"

I know someone who hung herself on the estate where she lives (and I live) because of the death of her daughter at 20 yrs old from cancer, even a very young grandson just wasn't enough to stop her, she just couldn't deal with the pain of losing a child

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither.... Each of the two choices assumes cognitive response to a rational thought process....

If caught in time, the "little tablets" may be enough to redress the chemical imbalance....

If not...........

Sadly the little tablets do not work for everyone and some some cases makes things worse. "

True....

Then, the chemical imbalance goes unchecked and the results can be tragic....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suicide encompasses so many different reasons as to why people do it that's impossible to pigeon-hole them into two umbrella categories. I don't know anyone personally who has succeeded in suicide, but I do know a few who have tried. Of those, some were simply drawing attention to their problems, some were asking for help, and some were very unbalanced individuals to begin with. I don't know anyone who has attempted suicide without having some sort of mental breakdown in their decision making processes.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suicide encompasses so many different reasons as to why people do it that's impossible to pigeon-hole them into two umbrella categories. I don't know anyone personally who has succeeded in suicide, but I do know a few who have tried. Of those, some were simply drawing attention to their problems, some were asking for help, and some were very unbalanced individuals to begin with. I don't know anyone who has attempted suicide without having some sort of mental breakdown in their decision making processes."

Totally agree with that.

Suicide and the reasons people do it are far to complex to categorise, Js best friend killed himself after many years of deep depression.

And another of his friends did the same after his mum died and then 2 months later his sister was killed in a car accident, they found him hanging of a door, he had as far as we know no mental issues to that point!

Cowards way out I disagree with totally.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our daughter has attempted suicide several times and this was due to chronic depression. She very nearly succeeded the last time after taking an overdose and trying to jump off a multistory carpark. That was 3 years ago. She is now well and will hopefully be going to medical school in the Autumn. X

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

best wishes to you and her xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"best wishes to you and her xx"

Thank you xxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suiciders do it to escape their own crap world. Problem is the people left behind have to pick up the pieces. When you do it you are not of sound mind and body so all, we can do is be vigilant to someone that may do it and see if there are ways to prevent it but like all things mental health wise be philosophical about it if they succeed. You cannot stop anyone that really wants to do it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

This is a very sad thread, and thank you for all those that have shared their experiences. Life can be tough and we dont all have the coping mechanisms to help us through hard times.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow... what a thread and it's actually reassuring to see so many people who have felt the same way I have done.

I don't think I'll ever be cured of depression and I think it's a demon that will live with me forever but rather than indulge the depression, I indulge my hunger for fun and laughter.

crystal"
Reading this myself i think you hit rock bottom ... live or die and some how you see a light some hope ...... and thank god you did .... you come across as now positive in your way of thinking and maybe everyday you don't feel like that .. as living with this cant be easy . All i can hope you you have nice caring people around to support you when you get that low. Thank You for writing this as it show others who suffer.... thay are not alone. xxxx jo

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post must have taken people back maybe to times not so happy in there lifes ... We cant be happy 24/7 i know and thing happen in life . Thankyou for shearing them with us here .. as others who been there and have thing going on can see thay are not alone .. xxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought for a long time before I decided to post on this thread since dealing with suicide is a very personal issue and we have seen from the replies .. everyone has their differing ideas of why people attempt or compete it.

I have spoken to both people who have been left behind after the person has died and also to people who are actually in the middle of carrying out the act.

I know that they do believe that it is the only option for them and yes, they do think and talk about people they will leave behind, so it's wrong to think that they don't believe others will hurt .. just that they sometimes feel others are better of without them.

I also hear the questions people left behind ask .. why did they do it, what if i had noticed, I could have done more , it's my fault.

We are not the person who is committing suicide and therefore we can't judge or assume anything about them .. all we can do is assist where we can when help is needed

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

We would like thank every one who has replied to this topic,it as taken some of you allot of courage to right about your experiences.

Again thank you.

Yours

Carol & Vinny

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reading this myself i think you hit rock bottom ... live or die and some how you see a light some hope ...... and thank god you did .... you come across as now positive in your way of thinking and maybe everyday you don't feel like that .. as living with this cant be easy . All i can hope you you have nice caring people around to support you when you get that low. Thank You for writing this as it show others who suffer.... thay are not alone. xxxx jo"

Thanks Jo x

I can talk about my experiences openly as I have learnt to accept its part of who I am and how I'm wired. The reason why mental illness is so taboo is because nobody talks about it. I will continue to share my outlook in the hope it improves understanding to those around me and to help others realise they are never alone.

And thank you OP for creating this thread.

crystal

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

Suicide is a crime.

But its not a crime committed by the person attempting or succeeding in suicide but by society for allowing it to happen.

My neighbour took her own life 12 years ago. I still feel an immense sense of guilt over this. If I,and others had just taken the time to talk to,reassure,help then perhaps a tragic waste of life could have been avoided. In hindsight the signs were obvious the lady was distressed,depressed and in need of help. I'm ashamed to say I was to wrapped up in my own life to notice. I pray to god I never make the same mistake again.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have been close it when I lost my husband, no it's not selfish, those that do it are in despair and can see no way out. I was lucky I had a great family to pull be back from the brink but others are less lucky

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I still feel an immense sense of guilt over this. If I,and others had just taken the time to talk to,reassure,help then perhaps a tragic waste of life could have been avoided. "

The majority of those who are successful at suicide don't seek help, very few people will be aware until the event has taken place.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still feel an immense sense of guilt over this. If I,and others had just taken the time to talk to,reassure,help then perhaps a tragic waste of life could have been avoided.

The majority of those who are successful at suicide don't seek help, very few people will be aware until the event has taken place."

Are you basing that on anything more than opinion? because as someone with professional knowledge of this area I disagree.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Selfish and cowardly or totally in despair and can't see any other way out?

We go with the latter"

ppl tht commit suicide are not selfish and cowardly at all!i think tht if sumone feels so low tht they think thts the only solution they must really be feeling totally desperate and in pain!nobody can judge anyone in this situation ,no one knows what has gone on in tht persons life to make them feel tht way,suicide is just an awful devastating experience for any family and i thank god i have never felt tht low"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought for a long time before I decided to post on this thread since dealing with suicide is a very personal issue and we have seen from the replies .. everyone has their differing ideas of why people attempt or compete it.

I have spoken to both people who have been left behind after the person has died and also to people who are actually in the middle of carrying out the act.

I also hear the questions people left behind ask .. why did they do it, what if i had noticed, I could have done more , it's my fault.

We are not the person who is committing suicide and therefore we can't judge or assume anything about them .. all we can do is assist where we can when help is needed"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Are you basing that on anything more than opinion?"

My opinion based on 25+ years experience working with the mentally ill.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion is based on being there and attempting it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you basing that on anything more than opinion?

My opinion based on 25+ years experience working with the mentally ill."

same here , basing on 10yrs psychiatric inpatient healthcare.

I do not devalue anyones suffering, but without sounding complacent the people who were at most risk were the ones who rarely ever spoke about suicide or attempted it.While on 1-1 observations I did sometime think I would have been better elsewhere with those I felt more withdrawn.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Suicide ideation is one thing, going through with it quite another. The former happens to many people when they have a low in their life considering what if.... the latter is in many cases perceived as a way out. Mental health, or rather impaired mental health can be at the root of both and when it is... I would not call it selfish but perhaps "unable to see any other way forward", a kind of tunnel vision.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon

I am a Samaritan with five years experience, and definitely the latter...the bleak desperation of those who choose to end their lives subsumes normal emotions like selfishness and notions of responsibility, they simply do not respond. It is so sad when you are talking to a caller, and realise there is a terrible inevitably about the outcome.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"
Based on my experience, I agree with you, too.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

latter exept in situations were they effect other pepol by doing so ( jup infront of train....( causing pain to a person who shouldent of been involved.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them "
Absolutely! And one of the problems is that so often is goes unnoticed. And, unlike with a visible illness there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon

"latter exept in situations were they effect other pepol by doing so ( jup infront of train....( causing pain to a person who shouldent of been involved."

As I tried to indicate in above post, they do not make rational, considered decisions, other than the drive to end their lives.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

True, however, society's becoming more tolerant / acceptable regarding mental health.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them Absolutely! And one of the problems is that so often is goes unnoticed. And, unlike with a visible illness there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

Are we claiming people who commit suicide are mentally ill and we should empathise? If that's the case I'll rethink my _iews on the 9/11 and 7/7 bombers and pray for their souls.

But why do I get the feeling they'll be excluded from the "mental health" umbrella.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them Absolutely! And one of the problems is that so often is goes unnoticed. And, unlike with a visible illness there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

Are we claiming people who commit suicide are mentally ill and we should empathise? If that's the case I'll rethink my _iews on the 9/11 and 7/7 bombers and pray for their souls.

But why do I get the feeling they'll be excluded from the "mental health" umbrella."

i personally put them under the 'fanatics' 'extremeists' umbrellas .. i refer to people with mental illness who commit suicide as 'joe bloggs' attempting to go about his normally daily routine who finds it too much to cope with

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them Absolutely! And one of the problems is that so often is goes unnoticed. And, unlike with a visible illness there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

Are we claiming people who commit suicide are mentally ill and we should empathise? If that's the case I'll rethink my _iews on the 9/11 and 7/7 bombers and pray for their souls.

But why do I get the feeling they'll be excluded from the "mental health" umbrella."

Uniquely, those who kill themselves for beliefs, in an attempt to murder others, whilst morally questionable and not society norm, make a cognitive decision to their act....

Those who take their own lives due to external forces which unbalance their cerebral chemical makeup, admittedly may leave grief of family and friends, but are a totally different case...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont think everyone who commits suicide is suffering from a mental illness, some see it as the only way out of a terrible situation.

On the other hand many who suffer from mental illness commit suicide. Sadly its a symptom of their illness

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine will alway be the lather

As my uncle did it all because he couldn't see a way round his problem

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

I think the latter. Over 30 yrs ago my mum had 2 big breakdowns and took 2 overdoses. Luckily she recovered and went on to be a great foster parent until she passed away 10 yrs ago aged 56.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

your absolutely right diamonds and I wasnt trying to make generalisations but from personal experience, mental health does play a key part in lots of situations of suicide but as you rightly point out, not every situation is the same

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suicide has a long lasting impact,for family and friends left behind. A good mate of mine took his own life in 2004,our circle of friends took a long time to get over it. As for the family,they still struggle to come to terms with it. His little boy found him hanging in the garage,he has very bad nightmares to this day about it. I could be judgemental and say he was selfish but I won't. I have no idea why he did this apart from the fact him and his partner,were having marriage difficulties. Im mentally strong,sadly others not so lucky

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say the latter. It is not a cowards way out. More soldiers have commited suicide since the Falklands War than were killed in the conflict itself. And that goes for Argentinian as well as British soldiers. Brave men who could not live with the terrors of the past.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"I say the latter. It is not a cowards way out. More soldiers have commited suicide since the Falklands War than were killed in the conflict itself. And that goes for Argentinian as well as British soldiers. Brave men who could not live with the terrors of the past.

absolutely agree with you on this one .. there has been alot of research globally gone into this recently and conflicts and wars do undoubtedly have lasting impressions on service men and womens mental statze .. surprisingly for me, with regard to UK service men and women, the most traumatic tour of duty in recent years has turned out to be Northern Ireland

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"mental illness is a very cruel disease and anyone who hasnt been affected by this in their life should feel blessed .. for those that have been aflicted with it .. my heart goes to them Absolutely! And one of the problems is that so often is goes unnoticed. And, unlike with a visible illness there is so much prejudice and judgment against people suffering from MH!

Are we claiming people who commit suicide are mentally ill and we should empathise? If that's the case I'll rethink my _iews on the 9/11 and 7/7 bombers and pray for their souls.

But why do I get the feeling they'll be excluded from the "mental health" umbrella."

I am not including people who commit suicide attacks under the umbrella of suicide as the topic of this thread as arguably suicide bombers' motive for committing suicide is external, ie for another "cause". Very different from those who see no way out!

Whether people choose to pray for anybody is their personal choice and depends on their belief system; some would include murderers and other criminals in their prayers, others would not.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"your absolutely right diamonds and I wasnt trying to make generalisations but from personal experience, mental health does play a key part in lots of situations of suicide but as you rightly point out, not every situation is the same "
Absolutely agree. There are some people in perfectly good mental health who commit suicide.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

i have to say understanding and support has come along way. many people either suffer or knows someone with mental health issues. there will always be the few ignorant ones. my life would of been easier if i had had three heads with horns sticking out when i was diagnosed 35 years ago

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a Samaritan with five years experience, and definitely the latter...the bleak desperation of those who choose to end their lives subsumes normal emotions like selfishness and notions of responsibility, they simply do not respond. It is so sad when you are talking to a caller, and realise there is a terrible inevitably about the outcome."

I used to be a Sam and was involved in training people to become them as well .. and totally agree with that

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Selfish.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

"
Leaving behind not just the devastation of her own family but also that caused to you. How very sad for her, her family and you!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been effected by this as many others here.it takes a hell of a man (or woman) to take there own life,whereas a coward can take someone else's.I'm with the latter from op.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I never went back.....

"YOU" didn't fail her, those responsible for her. failed her, i.e. parents / teachers / society

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I never went back.....

"YOU" didn't fail her, those responsible for her. failed her, i.e. parents / teachers / society

"
And sometimes there is that inevitability, that force that nobody seem to be able to stop.

It is what it is - and it is incredibly sad for somebody so young.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who tried to end their life, I personally think its braver to admit to someone that you have a problem. I didnt, I just failed at ending it all.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"it is incredibly sad for somebody so young."

It's not uncommon for youngsters to commit suicide, as in all successful cases we'll never know why, however, for a 10 year old to do it says something about what kind of caring society we really are

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never went back.....

"YOU" didn't fail her, those responsible for her. failed her, i.e. parents / teachers / society

True.... But thirty odd years on her voice can catch me, unawares....

But, ironically, it has seen me through a couple of black moments....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"it is incredibly sad for somebody so young.

It's not uncommon for youngsters to commit suicide, as in all successful cases we'll never know why, however, for a 10 year old to do it says something about what kind of caring society we really are

"
I agree with you. Aged 10 we assume they are still children and somehow "should be " happy and carefree. nobody knows of course what burden may have been on that girl's life. It could have been anything from a broken home, abuse of whatever kind, bullying, being a young carer... or maybe depression which is rare but not unheard of at that age.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never went back.....

"YOU" didn't fail her, those responsible for her. failed her, i.e. parents / teachers / society

And sometimes there is that inevitability, that force that nobody seem to be able to stop.

It is what it is - and it is incredibly sad for somebody so young."

You can't live someone's life for them, you can only offer advice based upon experience - bitter or otherwise - and that advice can be disregarded or taken on-board, but ultimately you have no control over whether someone chooses to end their life.

I think life is sacrosanct in so much as it's hard to hear of people snuffed out when they had so much to live for, so much potential unfulfilled, but that could drive me insane, so I choose to regret their loss but not uphold it as something humanity has lost out on. There will always be people who will change the world in which they live and those who will never amount to much but it is not for anyone to say who's life is worth more. More to the point, it is to say who's life could have been worth more had they had the perfect chance to shine. It's not a perfect world though.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I never went back.....

"YOU" didn't fail her, those responsible for her. failed her, i.e. parents / teachers / society

And sometimes there is that inevitability, that force that nobody seem to be able to stop.

It is what it is - and it is incredibly sad for somebody so young.

It is just when somebody is only 10 years old... I struggle with seeing how they could have really known what might have been out there for them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter took an overdose when she was 15. She was ok, she was lucky. But I still fear she will do it again one day. she is never selfish and not a coward. She braves lifes difficulties every day. Depression is a mental illness and I admire those who continue to live with their demons for the sake of loved ones around them.

Thank you to the OP for this interesting debate.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"..It is just when somebody is only 10 years old... I struggle with seeing how they could have really known what might have been out there for them. "

That's exactly what I'm saying, they couldn't have known, and I think the loss is felt more keenly by people who have lived longer and seen how we change as we age but to a young mind that cannot comprehend what we're discussing it must seem that it is a life not worth living. It's shockingly sad to see a life wasted but even more so when it's a life that hasn't lived yet.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans. "

I really fail to see how confidentiality was breached here? The poster did not reveal anything that would make the person identifiable - where I work there have been several suicides of young people around that age in the last 3 years...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans.

you are not meant to discuss any calls outside of samaritans in any way. thats they way i understood my training.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans.

you are not meant to discuss any calls outside of samaritans in any way. thats they way i understood my training."
Sure, you are right there but the point I am making (I am trained, too) is that he commented in very general terms?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans.

you are not meant to discuss any calls outside of samaritans in any way. thats they way i understood my training.Sure, you are right there but the point I am making (I am trained, too) is that he commented in very general terms?"

i am not going to argue on this thread. in my eyes, and the way i was trained by Samaritans is that you dont discuss the calls with anyone in any way, general or otherwise.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I have to agree with Evie here....discretion is paramount.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Kudos to all Samaritans....

I burnt out the night I had a call from a young girl.....

"Hi... My name is (name / surname) and I live in (area of the city)..." Long pause... " I just called to say goodbye..." Click....

10 years old. She was found, dead next day....

I never went back.....

sorry to sound like a total killjoy but Samaritans is supposed to be wholey confidential within Samaritas, even after you have left the oranisation.

I know you havent divulged much personal information but i still feel that this breaks that confidentiality.

It is a truely sad story, as are all suicide stories and it is sad that it made you leave Samaritans.

i am not going to argue on this thread. in my eyes, and the way i was trained by Samaritans is that you dont discuss the calls with anyone in any way, general or otherwise."

I did not think we were arguing - I was merely saying I did not think that the poster had done anything contravening the rules.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having reverified my limited knowledge of the policies of this organisation, directly with them, it is agreed that none of the core charter values have in any way been compromised, with specific regard to their high standards of confidentiality....

In responding to the questiion of my own personal high standards of discretion, particularly with reference to the possibility of damaging a public service body based on trust in their confidentiality, may I personally draw posters attention to the part of the core charter which refers to being non judgemental.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having reverified my limited knowledge of the policies of this organisation, directly with them, it is agreed that none of the core charter values have in any way been compromised, with specific regard to their high standards of confidentiality....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 23/03/13 09:02:43]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I wasn't being judgemental euro. I perhaps took an over zealous _iew of the organizations policy on confidentiality as for me that is the key thing about the service. People need to trust that information about their calls stays confidential within Samaritans. I would rather er on the over zealous side of that any day.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cowards way out? maybe, i felt i would rather be dead than face my life without him, yes that makes me selfish but at that point in my life i just didn't care about anyone else"

Good post

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite right too....Xxxxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's difficult for me to see Kamikaze, suicide bombers or the 9/11 murderers as cowards. I must confess to never being able to understand that label being put on these individuals.

I appreciate that this is an unpopular _iew, but I struggle with calling them cowards.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok how about murderers then

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's difficult for me to see Kamikaze, suicide bombers or the 9/11 murderers as cowards. I must confess to never being able to understand that label being put on these individuals.

I appreciate that this is an unpopular _iew, but I struggle with calling them cowards. "

...or being mentally ill.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately