FabSwingers.com forum: Things not to say to women on a first Fab date

By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Shit you're here, excuse me I just to send a quick text to cancel my backup shag!"

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Have you got 6 toes

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I’m actually on a stag do. How many guys can you take?

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

We haven't got long. My wife will be back in an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

“I forgot to shower hope that’s cool”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Have you got 6 toes

Woosh over my head with that one?

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By *inxy777Woman
37 weeks ago

essex

Obviously your pictures are not recent!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"We haven't got long. My wife will be back in an hour"

Best hour's sex you'll ever have. She'll suck it like it's her last!

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
37 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I’ve never kissed anyone with a moustache before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"I’m actually on a stag do. How many guys can you take?"

If the lady is on Fab,.... probably none. Just a social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"I’ve never kissed anyone with a moustache before

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Hope you're as filthy as your mum...

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
37 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

I really miss my ex, *she* was beautiful, I’ll never meet anyone like her ever again!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian."

You safe sex condom saboteur

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m actually on a stag do. How many guys can you take?"

And then they find a woman who's game and suddenly they disappear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Hope you're as filthy as your mum..."

...."will she be joining us?"

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By *ascaIMan
37 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

Have you ever wiped your ass with a damp towel?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
37 weeks ago

North West

I've been watching you.......

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian.

You safe sex condom saboteur

True story: wasn't my ex, but a member of his family, told me the first time I met them what I'd be naming my children because of their family tradition.

I'd been seeing this guy a few months, and to have his family member up in my uterus was quite something

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Hang on, I just need to say goodbye to my previous meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Obviously your pictures are not recent!!

Fab pet hate for most I think, and filters.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"Hope you're as filthy as your mum...

...."will she be joining us?""

And your Dad?

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
37 weeks ago

Can we make this quick I've told the wife I'm just going the shop for some milk

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've been co-sleeping with my parents for 35 years. We'll have to be quiet and not take up too much room

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By *hubs101Man
37 weeks ago

West Midlands

So.. when did you grow the beard

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

Oh you're so polite. My Mummy loves meeting polite girls to encourage to have her grandchild.

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By *ullyMan
37 weeks ago

Near Clacton

I hope you washed "downstairs"!

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"I've been co-sleeping with my parents for 35 years. We'll have to be quiet and not take up too much room"

(Hey.. I'll do the funnies, it's my thread)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it"

Isn't that the romantic film of the series?

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

Shit..

I don’t meet women. Can you put on this fave moustache and eat me anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Hang on, I just need to say goodbye to my previous meet"

....But we we're getting on so well. I want to hear the end of that story about you in the nude and the two shire horses...

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it

Isn't that the romantic film of the series? "

I believe so, OP

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

"Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it"

I do love that film!

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By *ullyMan
37 weeks ago

Near Clacton

Are you joking?? You live in Gorleston, in Norfolk, and don't get the joke?

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By *ustAnotherMan
37 weeks ago

wherever I may roam

Hi.

What are you on here for

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
37 weeks ago

North West

We have exactly 17.5 minutes for this social *starts timer*

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I thought perhaps you'd like to pay for this one. If it goes well we can go halves next time.

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By *estarossa.Woman
37 weeks ago

Flagrante

Do you like cucumber?

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Sorry I was running a little late I was just finishing up the FB hope you don’t mind seconds didn’t have time to wash

I sure she taste good anyway as I don’t mind licking her out

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Please forgive the cockrot, I’ve sprayed some lynx on it but the little fella is weeping today

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

The doctor assured me it isn't contagious.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

He isn't a medical doctor, no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it

Isn't that the romantic film of the series?

I believe so, OP"

You'll be knee deep then

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By *rofessor ElementalMan
37 weeks ago

Durham

Hell yeah thats filthy gorgeous pink!

Nah, that's more just filthy pink, phew!!

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By *imisugarWoman
37 weeks ago

Rugby

"I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian.

You safe sex condom saboteur

True story: wasn't my ex, but a member of his family, told me the first time I met them what I'd be naming my children because of their family tradition.

I'd been seeing this guy a few months, and to have his family member up in my uterus was quite something "

I would have folded on the spot.

How did you handle it?

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By *burns7Man
37 weeks ago

walsall

“I noticed your pf says bi, got a mate to join?”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Sorry I was running a little late I was just finishing up the FB hope you don’t mind seconds didn’t have time to wash

I sure she taste good anyway as I don’t mind licking her out "

If she agreed to meet you, I'm sure she wouldn't be offended.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"“I noticed your pf says bi, got a mate to join?” "

A decent play on words.

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"Make yourself at home whilst I'll just stick The Exorcist III on. You'll love it

I do love that film!

You're welcome to watch it with me. I can't promise you'll see the ending though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Please forgive the cockrot, I’ve sprayed some lynx on it but the little fella is weeping today"

And that's why Linx outsells Brute.

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Grandma likes to watch, I hope that’s ok.

She doesn’t interrupt as much as grandad used to but she does clap

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By *burns7Man
37 weeks ago

walsall

"Grandma likes to watch, I hope that’s ok.

She doesn’t interrupt as much as grandad used to but she does clap"

Class

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By *ife NinjaMan
37 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Fuck me, you don't look like your photos

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By *aximus74Woman
37 weeks ago

Manchester

I have a gf and that's not my picture!!! (Actually happened)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

Brings drinks to table: Takes down trousers and underwear and stands on the table.

You see ..... look... I can do a helicopter!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"I have a gf and that's not my picture!!! (Actually happened)

WTF! Why

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I hope you like peanut butter as much as my dog

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By *ddie1966Man
37 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

"So it is true that a profile picture takes 10 years off..."

Taxi !!!!

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

I thought the camera was meant to add 10 pounds?

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By *naswingdressWoman
37 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian.

You safe sex condom saboteur

True story: wasn't my ex, but a member of his family, told me the first time I met them what I'd be naming my children because of their family tradition.

I'd been seeing this guy a few months, and to have his family member up in my uterus was quite something

I would have folded on the spot.

How did you handle it? "

I said very little and said quite a lot of wtaf to my ex later on.

Then spent years being told not to be so mean about that particular member of the family... Until people met that person and confirmed how barmy they were

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By *exySenseiCouple
37 weeks ago

I'm just charging my EV. Say, do you live close and how much do you pay per kilowatt hour?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
37 weeks ago

North West

"I thought the camera was meant to add 10 pounds?

There's a bad exchange rate these days, jeez

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By *GermanInLondonMan
37 weeks ago

London

Let's compare STDs. If we both got it it should be fine, no?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

Before I buy you a drink, can I have a quick squizz of your pussy. I like a particular shape of labia and not spending anything until I'm satified you have it?

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"I thought the camera was meant to add 10 pounds?

There's a bad exchange rate these days, jeez

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By *ad NannaWoman
37 weeks ago

East London

I have a 13" penis.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Do you want fries with that?

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

It’s a twenty-one sided dice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

""So it is true that a profile picture takes 10 years off..."

Taxi !!!!"

She looked like a 10 year old taxi. She'd done some fab mileage then.

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By *oxy RedWoman
37 weeks ago

Glasgow

What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"It’s a twenty-one sided dice."

If she's meeting you, she's already a game player.

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"It’s a twenty-one sided dice.

If she's meeting you, she's already a game player.

Not dungeons and dragons tho.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet? "

....What are the chances? I can get to Glasgow?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"It’s a twenty-one sided dice.

If she's meeting you, she's already a game player.

Not dungeons and dragons tho."

Just the dungeon.

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

They say it’s the roomiest boot in its class.

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By *burns7Man
37 weeks ago

walsall

“Sorry one second , just replying to ex”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Do you want fries with that? "

If she had a thing for fast food workers.... You'd be getting what 'that' is.

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet? "

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"“Sorry one second , just replying to ex” "

From firm to dead in 60 milliseconds

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

Your face looks narrower than your profile picture. I've been saving up and they'll be some overspill on your boobs I'm afaid.

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By *inxy777Woman
37 weeks ago

essex

Hi Lucy, sorry I meant minxy !!

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By *imisugarWoman
37 weeks ago

Rugby

"I plan to name our children Isabella, Frederik and Vivian.

You safe sex condom saboteur

True story: wasn't my ex, but a member of his family, told me the first time I met them what I'd be naming my children because of their family tradition.

I'd been seeing this guy a few months, and to have his family member up in my uterus was quite something

I would have folded on the spot.

How did you handle it?

I said very little and said quite a lot of wtaf to my ex later on.

Then spent years being told not to be so mean about that particular member of the family... Until people met that person and confirmed how barmy they were

Wow - that's so wild.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Hi Lucy, sorry I meant minxy !!

Are you Lucy or Minxy... Or Minxy Juicy Lucy?

Or. Are you a Minky musky sly ol' stouty stouty Fox?

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By *inxy777Woman
37 weeks ago

essex

"Hi Lucy, sorry I meant minxy !!

Are you Lucy or Minxy... Or Minxy Juicy Lucy?

Or. Are you a Minky musky sly ol' stouty stouty Fox? "

Honestly I have no idea!

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space "

And those baby changers can take more weight than you'd expect

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By *quirrel!Man
37 weeks ago

Nearby

Hey sexy lady - how you doin’

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space

And those baby changers can take more weight than you'd expect "

Voice of experience there

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
37 weeks ago

North West

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space "

So long as you don't use the disabled loo!

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By *elix SightedMan
37 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Do you also bathe with your parents?

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space

So long as you don't use the disabled loo!

Of course not.

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space

So long as you don't use the disabled loo!

Of course not.

I'm sorry, but if she's hot, she^ can just piss her pants

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By *uff the Boner!Man
37 weeks ago

SWANSEA

I got clymidida lol

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
37 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Can you help me get this sofa into my van?

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Ignore the tag, we do need to finish by 7 though.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
37 weeks ago

North West

"What are the chances of a bj in the men's toilet?

No class at all. Everyone knows the baby change room has the most space

So long as you don't use the disabled loo!

Of course not.

I'm sorry, but if she's hot, she^ can just piss her pants

But my cushion doesn't like getting wet

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By *nnCeeWoman
36 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

It rubs the lotion on it's skin...

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By *inkylipsWoman
36 weeks ago

Debauchery

You remind me of my mum

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

Sis, I didn't know you were on Fab !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Do you spit or swallow?

You want to have five children and two dogs.

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By *anillaboyMan
36 weeks ago

london

Gosh, you look like my ex.

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By *ax19862002Man
36 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'm a tory

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Can we swap knickers

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

I've been watching you for weeks

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
36 weeks ago

Carmarthen

You better be a good fuck I’ve had loads to choose from and picked you! Actually true

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

I haven't showered for a few days, as I prefer the natural musk. I hope that's OK with you...

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
36 weeks ago

Carmarthen

"You better be a good fuck I’ve had loads to choose from and picked you! Actually true

Said to me by a woman I must add

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By *dc1Man
36 weeks ago

essex and all over the south

Fuck your my wife.

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By *elix SightedMan
36 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Ok tell me something interesting about you, your rubbish bin was boring

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By *sWyldWoman
36 weeks ago

Edinburgh

The last woman I met was far more attractive than you...

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

Would you like to see my cellar?

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By *estless nativeMan
36 weeks ago

near Glasgow

Say hi to your mum for me

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Shush !

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By *atter3127Man
36 weeks ago

stoke on trent

My binoculars don’t do you any justice..

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By *atter3127Man
36 weeks ago

stoke on trent

Are you my mummy?

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By * and M lookingCouple
36 weeks ago

Worcester

My mate told me that you take it in the ass.

Thought I would give you a bash.

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By *JandCMCouple
36 weeks ago

cardiff

I've been watching you for a very long time now n think it's about time you repainted your bedroom walls.

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By *heonlycunnilinguyMan
36 weeks ago

Yeovil

Is your sister/mother still free later

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By *2000ManMan
36 weeks ago

Worthing

My mates been on the telly.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central

I've printed out your interests list. For fun, I'll pick them out at random, as we go through them all. You saw my list on my profile, so I'll do them with you too.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

""Shit you're here, excuse me I just to send a quick text to cancel my backup shag!"

Things not to say in a first fab message..

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I can't wate to eat ur organs ha

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"Obviously your pictures are not recent!!

Ooh I thought your pic had you in uniform

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I need the toilet.. Escaped through toilet window.

Got to corner of road and nearly walked into lampost.. Sent text off to hospital just banged my head need to leave now

Got my tit caught in zip cannot make it

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

Would you like some liver...with a nice Chianti?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Just realised am off to the docs doubled booked. Seeing a nurse about my balls shit

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

I have some cream from the docs which I need to rub into my cock. Do you mind if I nip to the loo and apply it?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Would you wear this dress please

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By *ake_or_deathMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

You can't set me up with the hot one you're friends with on the Forum, can you?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Wow, you look just like your mum. K

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central

I've been a lifelong addict, interested in those plane crashes, where they end up eating the weaker survivors.

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By *inkyJMan
36 weeks ago

Watford

What are you doing here

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By *MCMan
36 weeks ago

London/EA

Does your vagina look like a punched lasagna in person or is it just the pictures?

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By *1876Man
36 weeks ago

Dudley

I think you were in my daughter's college class

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By *ools and the brainCouple
36 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"it rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again"

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"Does your vagina look like a punched lasagna in person or is it just the pictures?

Just the pictures

I’m hoping your dick pic was just a poor angle

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By *eedshandymanMan
36 weeks ago

leeds

We're you on bargain hunt

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By *iaisonseekerMan
36 weeks ago

Liverpool

I only have two settings: buttmunch and taco guzzler. And I don't much feel like Mexican tonight.

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By *cLovin2Man
36 weeks ago

Reading

I hope you don't mind mum being here too, she needs to approve any woman I date, she also needs to cut my meat up for me.

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By *ustard cream200001Man
36 weeks ago

Brough

??????

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By *rdadjokesMan
36 weeks ago

Edinburgh

In a nervous state accidentally muttering

I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy (Dumb and Dumber)

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By *orthcoupleCouple
36 weeks ago

Newcastle

I can tell you're horny, can't wait to make you squirt with some finger blasting........

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Would you like to build a snowman

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
36 weeks ago

London

I have a kink…could you pretend to be my mother? Btw, she just kicked me out of the flat, could you accommodate?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Oh no I forgot the lube back home I go and condoms best be safe

You look so cute my sister fancies you

She is here. I got dr appointment

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By *MCMan
36 weeks ago

London/EA

"Does your vagina look like a punched lasagna in person or is it just the pictures?

Just the pictures

I’m hoping your dick pic was just a poor angle

Which one out of the 412 pictures you requested?

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"Does your vagina look like a punched lasagna in person or is it just the pictures?

Just the pictures

I’m hoping your dick pic was just a poor angle

Which one out of the 412 pictures you requested?

Well considering I only received one I don’t have much to go on

also you promised, I never asked

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I notice you said you liked the beach, so I didn’t think you’d mind me not washing after my last meet and sharing my crabs with you

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By *agnar73Man
36 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Ah there you are Watson, c’mon don’t dilly dally - The game is afoot!

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By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

"Ah there you are Watson, c’mon don’t dilly dally - The game is afoot!"

I would actually like that tbf!!

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By *agnar73Man
36 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Ah there you are Watson, c’mon don’t dilly dally - The game is afoot!

I would actually like that tbf!!

Drat. Foiled again.

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By *aximus74Woman
36 weeks ago

Manchester

"I have a gf and that's not my picture!!! (Actually happened)

WTF! Why

Because he thought I would "just go with it" even after reading my profile

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By *aximus74Woman
36 weeks ago

Manchester

"You better be a good fuck I’ve had loads to choose from and picked you! Actually true

Wow!!!

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