FabSwingers.com forum: Keep it on the forums

By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
42 weeks ago

Wales/ All over UK

I genuinely only DM from the forums if that is the specific point of the thread (ask in private, answer in public for example) or on a rare occasion to give someone genuine support when they may need it.

I certainly have never messaged someone from a forum to proposition them.

I do often have a cheeky browse and appreciate their pics however

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By *illy IdolMan
42 weeks ago

Midlands

No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

I sometimes do if it’s something I don’t want to say out in public but I want to ask a further question or supply an answer -

It’s not to proposition anyone

But i do often get personal responses probably for the same reason but they can make me a little queezy and I ignore them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
42 weeks ago

Central

The Reply Privately should be made optional for users, probably disabled by default. I've known friends who have been upset by it, too frequently

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
42 weeks ago

Leeds

It's very rare I'll DM someone from a forum post if it's not specifically a game, although today I did to say thank you to someone who made my day a little brighter - but that was it just a thank you.

I've leaned not to ever do a small penis forum post because my goodness my inbox

Mrs

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By *ortyairCouple
42 weeks ago

Wallasey

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious."
So it's a guy thing? Thank god for that, gonna DM you you sexy thing,

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/24 14:00:29]

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By *ascaIMan
42 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

I’m currently in the process of typing a 10,000 word essay for you which’ll be with you shortly

In all seriousness I normally only DM after receiving a wink or if I feel like I meet what somebody is looking for. Don’t want to add to the workload.

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By *eliWoman
42 weeks ago

Not really. If volume of messages makes me want to AWOL... I'd use my filters.

People DM off the back of threads. Not always for creepy reasons. Sometimes people might not want to flirt in public. That's fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

I don’t mind messages directly from the forums. I usually enjoy talking to people from forum posts more than I do the rest of the time. If I’m feeling bold enough too I’ll give someone a wink but I’m sometimes too shy…

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I genuinely only DM from the forums if that is the specific point of the thread (ask in private, answer in public for example) or on a rare occasion to give someone genuine support when they may need it.

I certainly have never messaged someone from a forum to proposition them.

I do often have a cheeky browse and appreciate their pics however

I think we all have a cheeky browse

A DM that is supportive or providing some specific info is completely different imho and always welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

I never send the first message from the forums but have messaged if it's part of a thread and we've spoken before or I wanted to address their point or be a bit flirty without hijacking the thread as I know they would be ok with it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to start a conversation and I've loved them from women and couples who I've gone on to meet, but I get that doing it off the back of a thread where you just want to post your opinion isn't the way to go about it.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life"

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I sometimes do if it’s something I don’t want to say out in public but I want to ask a further question or supply an answer -

It’s not to proposition anyone

But i do often get personal responses probably for the same reason but they can make me a little queezy and I ignore them. "

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By *ortyairCouple
42 weeks ago

Wallasey

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

"
You have a sought after tush... damn your filters haha,

Mrs x

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
42 weeks ago

SW Scotland

Yep we get this quite a lot, usually just a creepy pine liner though

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"The Reply Privately should be made optional for users, probably disabled by default. I've known friends who have been upset by it, too frequently "

That would help but I guess there is nothing to stop people messaging after clicking on the profile

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
42 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Nope you're not hc.

I don't mind if someone genuinely wants to chat, about what's been posted.

What really gets on my wick though, are people who slide into dms just to be really creepy/pervy or get argumentative if they don't agree with what's been said.

I wish the site would remove the reply privately button at times, as it does stop me commenting on some things.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"It's very rare I'll DM someone from a forum post if it's not specifically a game, although today I did to say thank you to someone who made my day a little brighter - but that was it just a thank you.

I've leaned not to ever do a small penis forum post because my goodness my inbox

Mrs "

Lol. Yeah I guess I should give some threads a wide berth too!

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By *illy IdolMan
42 weeks ago

Midlands

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

It's tough, isn't it? Most have been respectful and it's quite sweet. But some of the abuse I have received from some of my fellow competitors has been quite the eye opener

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
42 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

If someone fancies messaging someone else I don't see that it matters whether it comes from a search or a forum sighting.

The DM's I don't like is a contribution to a forum discussion but in my messages instead.

I just usually think it's someone who doesn't know how to reply in the forum.

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By *r_reusMan
42 weeks ago

Coventry

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious."

I'm a single male and get this surprisingly more often than you'd think.

I've found that sadly, many people on here are put off by the cliqueyness of the forums, and afraid to voice certain opinions which may make them unpopular if spoken in public, women especially, and so they choose to voice them in private.

I suppose for women in receipt of DMs from males it's different though, and they're probably just trying their luck?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
42 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

The ones where you mention that you’ve done something sexual and someone will message us direct to tell us how hot that is and give you a story of theirs, yet they don’t post on the thread at all

That annoys me!

Oh and people telling me privately that I’m the real winner of rear of the year - but I think that’s more cos they are scared of being attacked - I get that

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.So it's a guy thing? Thank god for that, gonna DM you you sexy thing,

Mrs x"

you'd need to ask Willy what his fan base consisted of!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I’m currently in the process of typing a 10,000 word essay for you which’ll be with you shortly

In all seriousness I normally only DM after receiving a wink or if I feel like I meet what somebody is looking for. Don’t want to add to the workload."

Yeah I have messaged people off the forums but only if there is some indicator that they might want me to

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By *illy IdolMan
42 weeks ago

Midlands

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.So it's a guy thing? Thank god for that, gonna DM you you sexy thing,

Mrs x

you'd need to ask Willy what his fan base consisted of! "

It's been a mixture. Support and well wishes have come from both men and women

Abuse has been from couples. I won't name drop, but they're in this thread

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By *aizyWoman
42 weeks ago

west midlands

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

It's tough, isn't it? Most have been respectful and it's quite sweet. But some of the abuse I have received from some of my fellow competitors has been quite the eye opener

I called you an arse once, and I apologised!

It doesn't bother me tbh OP, I just treat it like any other msg I get, I'll eithr reply or I won't. And if I'm honest I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I did have a problem with it as I have done it myself a few times!

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/24 14:22:21]

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
42 weeks ago

My Own Little World

Have few women friends on hear have few men friends on hear don’t message women on hear unsolicited type always of forum threads etc strangely as well most is just normal chat non sexual

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By *lik and PaulCouple
42 weeks ago

cahoots

It happens quite a bit and we encourage people to get involved in the thread although there's quite a large percentage of people who say they can't as they have a permanent ban.

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By *ealitybitesMan
42 weeks ago

Belfast

As others have said I've only ever done it as part of a forum game or with someone I know and am already chatting to or meeting.

One of my funniest fab moments though was a few years ago when a very vocal fab lady started a thread exactly like this one and complaining how it was ridiculous.

I disagreed with something she said further down the thread and she messaged me privately to explain her thought process.

The irony wasn't lost on me and I took great pleasure in asking her publicly to keep it on the forum.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Not really. If volume of messages makes me want to AWOL... I'd use my filters.

People DM off the back of threads. Not always for creepy reasons. Sometimes people might not want to flirt in public. That's fair. "

I have my filters open because I don't want to initiate contact, trade face pics and then turn them down

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By *ortyairCouple
42 weeks ago

Wallasey

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.So it's a guy thing? Thank god for that, gonna DM you you sexy thing,

Mrs x

you'd need to ask Willy what his fan base consisted of! "
Who is Willy? Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

We don’t get a huge amount so it doesn’t bother me too much, they are easy to ignore if I’m not interested in engaging in a conversation with them.

I only do it when it’s part of a forum game or if I’ve spoken to them before.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"The ones where you mention that you’ve done something sexual and someone will message us direct to tell us how hot that is and give you a story of theirs, yet they don’t post on the thread at all

That annoys me!

Oh and people telling me privately that I’m the real winner of rear of the year - but I think that’s more cos they are scared of being attacked - I get that

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Perhaps someone thinks it might be better received as a DM but it has the opposite effect with me if someone is just messaging to say that I, or something I have done, is hot

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By *obilebottomMan
42 weeks ago

All over

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

It's tough, isn't it? Most have been respectful and it's quite sweet. But some of the abuse I have received from some of my fellow competitors has been quite the eye opener

I called you an arse once, and I apologised!

And you sent a few of those to me. I did think, shall I block this daisy woman or not. Then I thought, oh no leave it as I like all flowers, daisies, lillies and even an elephant's trunk.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life

The perils of having a sought after tush, eh?!

It's tough, isn't it? Most have been respectful and it's quite sweet. But some of the abuse I have received from some of my fellow competitors has been quite the eye opener

I called you an arse once, and I apologised!

in response to Willy's post

And good on you for your honesty. I rate that

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"It happens quite a bit and we encourage people to get involved in the thread although there's quite a large percentage of people who say they can't as they have a permanent ban."

Blimey

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious."

I keep getting distracted by your photos and hit the wrong button every time. Sorry, not sorry

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"As others have said I've only ever done it as part of a forum game or with someone I know and am already chatting to or meeting.

One of my funniest fab moments though was a few years ago when a very vocal fab lady started a thread exactly like this one and complaining how it was ridiculous.

I disagreed with something she said further down the thread and she messaged me privately to explain her thought process.

The irony wasn't lost on me and I took great pleasure in asking her publicly to keep it on the forum. "

Ha ha. I can imagine that was most satisfying. And I pinky swear I won't DM you

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By *ruceyyMan
42 weeks ago

London

"As others have said I've only ever done it as part of a forum game or with someone I know and am already chatting to or meeting.

One of my funniest fab moments though was a few years ago when a very vocal fab lady started a thread exactly like this one and complaining how it was ridiculous.

I disagreed with something she said further down the thread and she messaged me privately to explain her thought process.

The irony wasn't lost on me and I took great pleasure in asking her publicly to keep it on the forum.

Ha ha. I can imagine that was most satisfying. And I pinky swear I won't DM you

FAF?!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.So it's a guy thing? Thank god for that, gonna DM you you sexy thing,

Mrs x

you'd need to ask Willy what his fan base consisted of! Who is Willy? Mrs x"

Willy Idol - the one with the bum!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"We don’t get a huge amount so it doesn’t bother me too much, they are easy to ignore if I’m not interested in engaging in a conversation with them.

I only do it when it’s part of a forum game or if I’ve spoken to them before. "

Totally fair. And I have initiated contact as part of a game too

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By *ora the explorerWoman
42 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

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By *odgerMooreMan
42 weeks ago

Nowhere

I only ever DM you one handed… and get … you’re out of this persons age range… put your dick away and read the profile!! I think that’s what it says - after its says put your dick away I lose interest reading

- you should DM me for a change… making me do all the chasing xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
42 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I get pms on the back of threads. I either answer or ignore . If I post about certain subjects I know I'm going to get more pms. Doesn't bother me in the least certainly wouldn't go awol I'd just change my filters

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious.

I keep getting distracted by your photos and hit the wrong button every time. Sorry, not sorry

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"As others have said I've only ever done it as part of a forum game or with someone I know and am already chatting to or meeting.

One of my funniest fab moments though was a few years ago when a very vocal fab lady started a thread exactly like this one and complaining how it was ridiculous.

I disagreed with something she said further down the thread and she messaged me privately to explain her thought process.

The irony wasn't lost on me and I took great pleasure in asking her publicly to keep it on the forum.

Ha ha. I can imagine that was most satisfying. And I pinky swear I won't DM you

FAF?!

Missed you Big Balls

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Nothing worse than seeing a message in my inbox and it being from you

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

I'm sure you have the opposite effect

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I only ever DM you one handed… and get … you’re out of this persons age range… put your dick away and read the profile!! I think that’s what it says - after its says put your dick away I lose interest reading

- you should DM me for a change… making me do all the chasing xx

If I come chasing after you Todge be afraid. Be very afraid!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
42 weeks ago

North West

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
42 weeks ago

North West

I don't like lurker DMs based on thread responses. It unnerves me. People on the forum, on the thread, probably okay.

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By *riel13Woman
42 weeks ago

Northampton

It's when they don't interact at all on any forum threads but DM you about ones that you have posted on

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By *naswingdressWoman
42 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I might start a conversation from a forum thread, but it's always platonic and if it's not answered I take the hint.

I used to really hate it when lurkers would message something about a thread - often almost like "I now know something about your sexual habits, this means you must have sex with me, yes?" (none of them were that overt, but it was often the theme). Fortunately that kind of message - or persistence after I ignore - is a good filter in and of itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

She fucking does

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By *odgerMooreMan
42 weeks ago

Nowhere

- you should DM me for a change… making me do all the chasing xx

If I come chasing after you Todge be afraid. Be very afraid!

Ya don’t scare me - bring it on hotpants !! - also means we can chat whenever we want and not just here - which might be nice x

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By *os19Man
42 weeks ago

Edmonton

I hardly ever hit the reply privately button or send a message to someone that has started a thread on a forum.If they want to message me privately about my comments on threads which has happened then fair enough I respond respectfully .

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By *ora the explorerWoman
42 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

She fucking does"

Only when I send your unsolicited dick pic back to you!

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

She fucking does

Only when I send your unsolicited dick pic back to you!

And it’s horrible to look at

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

She fucking does

Only when I send your unsolicited dick pic back to you!

And it’s horrible to look at

Lesson learned

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By *ora the explorerWoman
42 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"I do this quite a bit

. Probably the only time I message people. Hope it doesn’t make people want to leave

Do you send creepy messages with dick pics attached? If not, you're probably fine

She fucking does

Only when I send your unsolicited dick pic back to you!

And it’s horrible to look at

Lesson learned

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By *ros40Man
42 weeks ago

Bedford

Not got time for DMs

I'm busy deleting hundreds of cock pics

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By * and T xCouple
42 weeks ago

Cannock

Don't really mind it, to be honest. At least it is different to the standard messages you get.

Profiles can be a little bit boring (we are sorely in need of an update of ours so equally to blame) and it can help spark off a conversation with a view of meeting.

There are other websites we use to post in forums, but this one caters for actually meeting people.

I do understand your point and I'm not saying you are wrong, but I'm not really sure if I would consider it impolite or anything. I suppose it depends a lot on your level of activity in forums and having to keep track of multiple conversations.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"Not really. If volume of messages makes me want to AWOL... I'd use my filters.

People DM off the back of threads. Not always for creepy reasons. Sometimes people might not want to flirt in public. That's fair. "

This! I rarely get messages, which suits me fine. Message filters are good to have in place to stop the junk mail.

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By *obilebottomMan
42 weeks ago

All over

"Not got time for DMs

I'm busy deleting hundreds of cock pics

You should not have taken that many

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By *ou only live onceMan
42 weeks ago

London

Another "not me, guv!" - I don't think I've ever sent a random "I've seen you on the forum and loved your insightful post about marmalade. FAF?" message.

But I do message people I've chatted to on the forum from threads if something springs to mind, so I guess I don't always "keep it to the forum" either. They'll be people I already have some sort of relationship with though.

The best message like that I've ever received was off the back of a thread about someone hating the team "train station" and a long explanation of their position on the matter. An important issue, but not one I was as invested in as they thought...

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By *ros40Man
42 weeks ago

Bedford

"Not got time for DMs

I'm busy deleting hundreds of cock pics

You should not have taken that many

I should stop sending them to myself

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
42 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?"

I’m trying to think whether I’ve ever done this, and why.

Probably. And, erm … I think only when it’s been someone I already know from past forum chattering. Maybe a thread has moved on but I want to chat with them about what they said. I mean … I’d only do that if I figured they might want to chat with me about it as well.

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

(I know some people DM me from a forum post because they’re banned. Which I figure is kind of a them problem, not a me problem …)

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By *ou only live onceMan
42 weeks ago

London

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

I had a similar moment of soul searching...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
42 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don't like lurker DMs based on thread responses. It unnerves me. People on the forum, on the thread, probably okay. "

This.

I've no issue with people extending a discussion off a thread so as not to derail it or seem to take it over.

But when people reply privately who haven't contributed it comes across as a bit odd. As if they don't want their opinion public for fear of upsetting people, putting folk off or because they want to say something they think will curry favour.

That's when it bugs me.

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By *ealitybitesMan
42 weeks ago

Belfast

"If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

I’m trying to think whether I’ve ever done this, and why.

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

(I know some people DM me from a forum post because they’re banned. Which I figure is kind of a them problem, not a me problem …)"

I'm aware of people who can no longer post in the forums but have asked others to post various comments on their behalf.

Most have rightly been told no but some did so and one or two actually acknowledged them in their post.

To me that is much more of a concern than just a random message on the back of a thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Because chances are the public, don’t want to hear what I have to say when I’m being personally direct with the person I’m trying to talk to.

All the times I keep it on the forum and public and hopefully people read it find it funny.

But I’ve always found, flirting is a lot more personal in a DM

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
42 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"But I’ve always found, flirting is a lot more personal in a DM

Oh, not always ya big stud …

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By *ealitybitesMan
42 weeks ago

Belfast

"If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

I’m trying to think whether I’ve ever done this, and why.

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

(I know some people DM me from a forum post because they’re banned. Which I figure is kind of a them problem, not a me problem …)

I'm aware of people who can no longer post in the forums but have asked others to post various comments on their behalf.

Most have rightly been told no but some did so and one or two actually acknowledged them in their post.

To me that is much more of a concern than just a random message on the back of a thread."

I should have added, I have never been asked to do this but I have been asked by people who can and do post here most days to post on their behalf on certain threads because they don't want a particular opinion to reflect badly on them.

They have never said that but it's pretty obvious why they won't post themselves.

I have always refused even if I do agree with their opinion because I wouldn't be true to myself if I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"But I’ve always found, flirting is a lot more personal in a DM

Oh, not always ya big stud …

You know my inbox is empty don’t you

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
42 weeks ago

Reading

I DM people sometimes but it's never with intent.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"It's when they don't interact at all on any forum threads but DM you about ones that you have posted on

Yes - you and Kinky get it. Exactly this!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Not got time for DMs

I'm busy deleting hundreds of cock pics

Is that just from Nora?

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

I had a similar moment of soul searching...

Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

I’m trying to think whether I’ve ever done this, and why.

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

(I know some people DM me from a forum post because they’re banned. Which I figure is kind of a them problem, not a me problem …)

I'm aware of people who can no longer post in the forums but have asked others to post various comments on their behalf.

Most have rightly been told no but some did so and one or two actually acknowledged them in their post.

To me that is much more of a concern than just a random message on the back of a thread."

Every day is a school day. I had no idea that this type of "cash for questions" activity was a thing

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
42 weeks ago

Central

"The Reply Privately should be made optional for users, probably disabled by default. I've known friends who have been upset by it, too frequently

That would help but I guess there is nothing to stop people messaging after clicking on the profile "

The determined will climb over most walls and will message.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
42 weeks ago

North West

"If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

I’m trying to think whether I’ve ever done this, and why.

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

(I know some people DM me from a forum post because they’re banned. Which I figure is kind of a them problem, not a me problem …)

I'm aware of people who can no longer post in the forums but have asked others to post various comments on their behalf.

Most have rightly been told no but some did so and one or two actually acknowledged them in their post.

To me that is much more of a concern than just a random message on the back of a thread.

Every day is a school day. I had no idea that this type of "cash for questions" activity was a thing

We should take this to a Select Committee.

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By *ou only live onceMan
42 weeks ago

London

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

I had a similar moment of soul searching...

Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

Bollocks. Must try harder.

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By *esparate danMan
42 weeks ago

glasgow

If it seems like someone has a genuinely interesting opinion or experience and isnt just signalling i will send a DM. Its fine if they dont want to respond but how else do you get beyond the superficial ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
42 weeks ago

North West

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

I had a similar moment of soul searching...

Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

Bollocks. Must try harder."

If your bollocks are really hard, you should consult a doctor*

*Please note, this does not constitute medical advice. We recommend you consult a doctor for medical advice.

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By *hriscooperMan
42 weeks ago

Warrington

"No you're not the only one. The rear of the Year comp has been a nightmare for me. I can't wait for it to finish so I can get back to my normal life"

I'll be your PA if you like mate, send them my way. Haha

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

But in trying to write that down I’ve realised that’s probably what the creepy fuckers who DM when they shouldn’t would say too.

I had a similar moment of soul searching...

Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

Bollocks. Must try harder.

If your bollocks are really hard, you should consult a doctor*

*Please note, this does not constitute medical advice. We recommend you consult a doctor for medical advice. "

I'm happy to give a first opinion

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By *heGateKeeperMan
42 weeks ago

Stratford

Sometimes I do this for lolz

Most of the time i do it to re-emphasise support or agreement.

I’ve had some interesting engagements off the back of forum conversations and someone replying privately

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
42 weeks ago

wonderland.

"The Reply Privately should be made optional for users, probably disabled by default. I've known friends who have been upset by it, too frequently "
yes I wish this was an option. Some absolute rubbish comes through often.

I will message on rare occasion xx

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"If it seems like someone has a genuinely interesting opinion or experience and isnt just signalling i will send a DM. Its fine if they dont want to respond but how else do you get beyond the superficial ? "

Believe me, the type DMs I am talking about are superficial and could have been posted on a thread!

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By *iss LovelyWoman
42 weeks ago

Here and There

I hate it.

My participation in a forum post isn’t an invite into my DM’s. I find it hella creepy and inappropriate and it always results in a block.

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By *irthandgirthMan
42 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious."

If I DM from a thread it's normally something pertinent to the specific post, but could derail the thread or be a little too controversial. But I choose my audience (normally would have interacted before).

Other than that I will normally send recipes if someone likes the sound of something I have put on a food thread.

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By *agnar73Man
42 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I occasionally do it but it’s relevant to an interaction on a forum thread. Had a few nice chats. Also been blanked as is their right with any message

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
42 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

When I see you next weekend, I’m going to remind you that you called me a good boy.*

(*And then I’m going to duck. Or run.)

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Yolo you and RTG are good boys. At least when it comes to me anyway!

When I see you next weekend, I’m going to remind you that you called me a good boy.*

(*And then I’m going to duck. Or run.)

No need to duck. It's below the belt you need to worry about.

As I'm so short I mean

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By *rucking-HellMan
42 weeks ago

Northampton

You're on a website designed for sex hookups, with a gallery of extremely porn-ified pictures, with bukkake, anal, two-cock blowjobs, etc, and you wonder why men message you in this way, and not that?

LOL fucking hell.

SMH.

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By *asty tatsyMan
42 weeks ago

london

"I dip in and out of the forums and one reason I go AWOL is the number of DMs I get after posting on threads. Am I the only one that gets irritated by this?

If you DM, why do you? Rather than testing the water on the forums first to see if you get a flirty reply? Embarrassed go public? Or what?

Not man bashing (honest), just genuinely curious."

That’s me not gonna dm

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
42 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"No need to duck. It's below the belt you need to worry about."

Oh, I’m not worried about below the belt. I trust your skills down there.

"As I'm so short I mean

Oh. Ah. Of course. That’s what I meant too. Ahem.

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By *educing_EmCouple
42 weeks ago

Tipperary

For the most part I don't mind but the messages from lurkers give me the heebie jeebies

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
42 weeks ago

Essex

"You're on a website designed for sex hookups, with a gallery of extremely porn-ified pictures, with bukkake, anal, two-cock blowjobs, etc, and you wonder why men message you in this way, and not that?

LOL fucking hell.

SMH."

It’s a website designed for swingers. Which has over time morphed to **adults** seeking like minded adults for ***respectful*** fun.

I can see why that subtlety may be difficult for you.

SMH

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By *onameyet2Man
42 weeks ago

chorley

"Sometimes I do this for lolz

Most of the time i do it to re-emphasise support or agreement.

I’ve had some interesting engagements off the back of forum conversations and someone replying privately

I too have had interesting asides from pms

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Well now, I feel like I shouldn’t DM …

. What’s the protocol again?

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

LOL fucking hell.

SMH.

It’s a website designed for swingers. Which has over time morphed to **adults** seeking like minded adults for ***respectful*** fun.

I can see why that subtlety may be difficult for you.

SMH "

Wow. Clearly I am "asking for it". What a silly little lady I am. Thank you for enlightening me

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By *elix SightedMan
42 weeks ago

Cloud 8

I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

I let guys message me and keep all my filters open so forum friends can say hi. I genuinely like it when it’s someone with whom I regularly interact in the lounge, but when it’s ‘Bigboi6969’ saying “Yeah I like sausage and chips too” or “Can I come and suck you off?”, just ugh.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!

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By *obilebottomMan
42 weeks ago

All over

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!"

You don't mind talking food with me

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By *elix SightedMan
42 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!

You don't mind talking food with me

And guess what I had for dinner tonight!!!

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By *obilebottomMan
42 weeks ago

All over

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!

You don't mind talking food with me

And guess what I had for dinner tonight!!!

Pheasant breast à l’orange with dried apricots & prosciutto

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By *adyBugsWoman
42 weeks ago

cognito

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!"

I got one from your snogging thread…I’m shite with messages so I’ll probably forget to look at it

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By *elix SightedMan
42 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!

I got one from your snogging thread…I’m shite with messages so I’ll probably forget to look at it

You’ll just have to snog your hand in front of the mirror instead

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I get this loads but they blur in amongst all the other messages I get. Honestly - it’s a full time job doing fabmin! I sometimes wish I was less sexy.

Loungers can say hi.

Lurkers can fuck off.

PS: HC - how many DMs did this thread generate?!!

You don't mind talking food with me

I will chat about sausages and sausage rolls with anyone till the cows come home

To answer your question Felix, it only generated 4 messages. They know who they are and that I welcome the bants!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
42 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"If someone fancies messaging someone else I don't see that it matters whether it comes from a search or a forum sighting.

The DM's I don't like is a contribution to a forum discussion but in my messages instead.

I just usually think it's someone who doesn't know how to reply in the forum.

Now you see I do do this from time to time, if a reply to a forum post is something I would rather not put out there, so to speak but the person is deserving of an answer to whatever matter they have specifically raised with me. I wouldn’t do it as a reply to a general forum question.

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By *ellinever70Woman
42 weeks ago

Ayrshire

It's not something that irritates me

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By *ou only live onceMan
42 weeks ago

London

LOL fucking hell.

SMH."

If you make her hide her vids, I'll do more than SMH. I'll probably tut really loudly too.

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By *ornycouga OP Woman
42 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

LOL fucking hell.

SMH.

If you make her hide her vids, I'll do more than SMH. I'll probably tut really loudly too."

Oooh I bet you are double hot when you are angry

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By *irthandgirthMan
42 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

LOL fucking hell.

SMH.

It’s a website designed for swingers. Which has over time morphed to **adults** seeking like minded adults for ***respectful*** fun.

I can see why that subtlety may be difficult for you.

SMH

Wow. Clearly I am "asking for it". What a silly little lady I am. Thank you for enlightening me

Self filtering at its finest there.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

Some are definitely creepy... But i also DM people off the back of threads, with good/platonic intentions so i can't throw stones in my glass house!!

I'll ignore /delete any i find unhappy reading

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By *obilebottomMan
42 weeks ago

All over

"Some are definitely creepy... But i also DM people off the back of threads, with good/platonic intentions so i can't throw stones in my glass house!!

I'll ignore /delete any i find unhappy reading "

Sensible. People just sometime DM for nice reasons. I had a lovely one earlier witj someone sharing a pic of their amazing meal they had. O thought that was a lovely thing to do.

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By *naswingdressWoman
42 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Some are definitely creepy... But i also DM people off the back of threads, with good/platonic intentions so i can't throw stones in my glass house!!

I'll ignore /delete any i find unhappy reading "

sorry about that

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By *he Forum Thread KillerMan
42 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

If I sense a rapport building, I'll reply in private, otherwise a DM is a no go I'm afraid.

I don't mind getting them though.....

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By *ou only live onceMan
42 weeks ago

London

LOL fucking hell.

SMH.

If you make her hide her vids, I'll do more than SMH. I'll probably tut really loudly too.

Oooh I bet you are double hot when you are angry

Like a brown Hulk...

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

"Some are definitely creepy... But i also DM people off the back of threads, with good/platonic intentions so i can't throw stones in my glass house!!

I'll ignore /delete any i find unhappy reading "

Platonic. Is that what sending nudes are?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
42 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Platonic. Is that what sending nudes are?"

Well I guess if the nudes don’t turn anyone on, they’re kinda platonic.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
42 weeks ago

North West

"Platonic. Is that what sending nudes are?

Well I guess if the nudes don’t turn anyone on, they’re kinda platonic."

Nah, mate. Then it's just plain ick

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
40 weeks ago

Weymouth

I find it hugely annoying when men send the most inane messages, supposedly relating to something I've posted in the forum last year

You can't think of any better reason to message? Lol - Xeno

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Tbh when I do the guess the cock bra size one, sometimes it's very popular which is why I suggest people either reply on forum or dm

I guess however it depends on the nature of the post

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By *TG3Man
40 weeks ago

Dorchester

It doesn't bother me really

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By *ot to giggleWoman
40 weeks ago

Coventry

ooh i feel ousted as a bit of a lurker and a DM'er

my excuse is i never know what to say and you all seem to have it anyway

and DM because no one can message me cause of the filters -

back to lurking

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
40 weeks ago

My Own Little World

To old for fab

So just lurk about

Have smile a day keeps doctor away

Apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Why is someone said to be “embarrassed” if the DM someone from a forum thread? Surely it’s a positive way to break the ice with someone on a thread they find attractive

Whatever happens the DMs to someone uninterested, regardless, will just delete or not read the DM

but equally they may read and connection made

Safe to say I don’t see the issue

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By *tylebender03Man
40 weeks ago

Manchester

Requesting permission to slide in the DM’s

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By *TG3Man
39 weeks ago

Dorchester

It really doesn't bother me to get a message related to a forum post, we are here to interact

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By *eroLondonMan
39 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm still trying to decipher what "SMH" means...

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By *ad NannaWoman
39 weeks ago

East London

"I'm still trying to decipher what "SMH" means...

I believe it means shakes my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
39 weeks ago

"I'm still trying to decipher what "SMH" means...

It means shake my head smh

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By *umagain58Man
39 weeks ago

London

I don’t know what that means. I know what it means to get hassled though by DM

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By *he Forum Thread KillerMan
39 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

It's another TLA....

I hate them..

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