FabSwingers.com forum: Talk things over before splitting up.

By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I was watching an emotional scene in eastenders between phil and cat. where cat tried to save their relationship for the last time as it was at rock bottom where it felt like nothing could save it.

But cat wanted to try and talk with him one last time to see if she could save it, but as she tried to talk, she said I give up, as phil had done done so many things beyond repair and she said she had enough and left.

The take home message I felt here was that communication is the key in a relationship, so if they had talked before it eouldnt have gone like this.

What is your view about it and how important would you say thstcommunication is in an relationship?

My view is that if a couple talk from the start about problems and things, this situation might of been avoided

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

I totally agree with you. I wish I had talked more in my last relationship. Communication between each is important.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

I agree... In any friendship or relationship communication matters. It's not just the pretty words, & sometimes comes with poor delivery, but it's always necessary. Firmly believe never sleep on an argument.

Goes along with good intentions, honesty, vulnerability to share, mutual respect, consistency of actions/behaviour, that all builds trust.

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By *sWyldWoman
49 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Communication is important in all areas of life and in all relationships, friendships and even situationships.

However talking can be hard and sometimes it can be easy but it still isn't enough.

Too many people stay in relationships etc they shouldn't be in because they fear the alternative, the upset, fallout or the unknown. Some relationships seem more habit than love or respect.

So while I agree on the importance of talking, I also don't believe in staying where I'm not happy anymore. 10 years of unhappy marriage taught me that!

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By *aomilatteCouple
49 weeks ago

Midlands

What things has Phil done? How long have Phil and Cat been together?

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By *immyinreadingMan
49 weeks ago

henley on thames

"I was watching an emotional scene in eastenders between phil and cat. where cat tried to save their relationship for the last time as it was at rock bottom where it felt like nothing could save it.

The take home message I felt here was that communication is the key in a relationship, so if they had talked before it eouldnt have gone like this.

What is your view about it and how important would you say thstcommunication is in an relationship?

My view is that if a couple talk from the start about problems and things, this situation might of been avoided

You say that she gave up as Phil had done so many things. Are you saying that he wouldn’t have done those things if they had had better communication?

Unlikely.

We’re discussing fictional characters here, but when people engage in destructive and damaging behaviour on an ongoing basis, no amount of communication is going to eradicate that behaviour, it’s hard-wired. If the first or second balls-up doesn’t serve as a wake-up call and lead to a change in behaviour, then it’s just not going to stop.

My sister in law has just pissed away 5 years learning this. Left an abusive husband, allowed him to woo her again, convincing her he had “changed”, lots of counselling and chats and communication, and of course as soon as he was confident that he had won her back, the old stuff came back again … it was never gone, just hidden.

Behaviour patterns usually repeat themselves over time

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By *parkle1974Woman
49 weeks ago

Leeds

If there is no communication then it's a downward spiral, I'd rather have a difficult conversation than let things fester.

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By *eliWoman
49 weeks ago

I'm not going to address the hypothetical scenario but yes, I think communication is important.

Honest and open communication is even more so when you're in a relationship with someone - I agree with Sparkles that things can fester and become a Big Thing when there's no need for them to.

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By *rHotNottsMan
49 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Reply avoid having difficult conversations & their avoid leaving relationships they should not be in.

A friend of mine is with a guy she doesn’t love, doesn’t even really like but it’s just comfortable and he’s ‘not a bad man’ Every time she tries to leave him he cries and says he will hurt himself and she feels guilty so stays.

I tell her directly she deserves this life because she’s such a gutless lamer

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

"If there is no communication then it's a downward spiral, I'd rather have a difficult conversation than let things fester."

Absolutely

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By *edeWoman
49 weeks ago

the abyss

Communication is the foundation of a solid relationship in my opinion.

That doesn't mean it will solve all problems though. People change and grow, not all relationships are meant to last forever and that is not a bad thing. At least with communication it can hopefully come to an amicable

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By *TG3Man
49 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I was watching an emotional scene in eastenders between phil and cat. where cat tried to save their relationship for the last time as it was at rock bottom where it felt like nothing could save it.

The take home message I felt here was that communication is the key in a relationship, so if they had talked before it eouldnt have gone like this.

What is your view about it and how important would you say thstcommunication is in an relationship?

My view is that if a couple talk from the start about problems and things, this situation might of been avoided

"
Talk is cheap if problems exist they exist for a reason we as humans are only monogamous because of the children, monogamy doesn't exist anymore its a struggle to maintain for the weak people in this world

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By *ockboy77Man
49 weeks ago

Angus, Ayr

"Communication is important in all areas of life and in all relationships, friendships and even situationships.

However talking can be hard and sometimes it can be easy but it still isn't enough.

Too many people stay in relationships etc they shouldn't be in because they fear the alternative, the upset, fallout or the unknown. Some relationships seem more habit than love or respect.

So while I agree on the importance of talking, I also don't believe in staying where I'm not happy anymore. 10 years of unhappy marriage taught me that! "

This 100%

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I agree... In any friendship or relationship communication matters. It's not just the pretty words, & sometimes comes with poor delivery, but it's always necessary. Firmly believe never sleep on an argument.

Goes along with good intentions, honesty, vulnerability to share, mutual respect, consistency of actions/behaviour, that all builds trust.

"
Yes, you are right there, good points and yes, communication matters too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I totally agree with you. I wish I had talked more in my last relationship. Communication between each is important. "
Yes, it is important too.

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By *andynecklaceWoman
49 weeks ago

Someplace

Fuck that it's just bye and fuck off for me

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By *iss.BellaWoman
49 weeks ago

Wales

I think it depends on the situation, but generally yes communication is the key.

But there are also times when communicating doesn't work, and you both can't get passed the issue. I think that is the point of walking away for your own sanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

Leave in silence. They know what they did. They know how they hurt you.

Leave in silence.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
49 weeks ago

Leeds

Communication is hugely important in all relationships however good communication can't fix all the issues.

Words and actions need to match, good communication won't save something that is broken beyond repair.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

East Sussex

Communication is important but both partners need to want to. Some people either can't or won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

How else we get to know people on here without communicating.

Here we have relationships etc all need working on op. If you do not talk no one be here.

Relationships like cat and phil.. Always using a higher tone of voice. He cheated on her and yes she tried to save the relationship but she went and kissed Nish. Both bad as each other.

Tone of voice is key to effective communication. Unless you are in bed with a fabber getting fucccd tonation then does not matter. Some love a rough sexy voice..

Communucating is essential

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Communication is important but both partners need to want to. Some people either can't or won't. "
Yes, you are right there too, communication is important and yes, both partners need to want to as well

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"How else we get to know people on here without communicating.

Here we have relationships etc all need working on op. If you do not talk no one be here.

Relationships like cat and phil.. Always using a higher tone of voice. He cheated on her and yes she tried to save the relationship but she went and kissed Nish. Both bad as each other.

Tone of voice is key to effective communication. Unless you are in bed with a fabber getting fucccd tonation then does not matter. Some love a rough sexy voice..

Communucating is essential "
Hi becs, yes, phil cheated on cat many times, so there is no surprise of why cat is feeling about it and you are right there, communicating is essential in a relationship too

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
49 weeks ago

Worcester

I talked to my ex for years about the problems in our relationship.

He never bothered to listen properly so I left.

Apparently I left because I didn’t like what he bought for tea a few times. But the reality was he’d not been listening for the best part of a decade.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

Phil is still in Eastenders?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
49 weeks ago

Central

Communication is essential in relationships. Th we re may be times when it's too late to save something but at least all sides can better understand each other

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By *ora the explorerWoman
49 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"Phil is still in Eastenders? "

Cat was with Alfie I thought

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

"Phil is still in Eastenders?

Cat was with Alfie I thought "

So who’s running the pub?

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By *uri00620Woman
49 weeks ago

Croydon

Of course it's important. I think that's a given.

I however never want to 'talk about it', no matter what that 'it' is.

That's why I much prefer being single

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
49 weeks ago

your head

Communication is key but it only works if all parties talk and listen. Talking at someone is no good. You also need to really listen to what the other person is saying, it's a two way street. Sometimes there's nothing left to talk about, it's gone too far or its too little, too late.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Phil is still in Eastenders?

Cat was with Alfie I thought

So who’s running the pub? "
Yes, phil is still in eastenders, linda carter and her mother is running the pub too.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 14/03/24 07:56:25]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
49 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Communication is important in all areas of life and in all relationships, friendships and even situationships.

However talking can be hard and sometimes it can be easy but it still isn't enough.

Too many people stay in relationships etc they shouldn't be in because they fear the alternative, the upset, fallout or the unknown. Some relationships seem more habit than love or respect.

So while I agree on the importance of talking, I also don't believe in staying where I'm not happy anymore. 10 years of unhappy marriage taught me that! "
Yes, you are right there, good points and yes, communication is very important too. I also think the same, if one isnt happy in a marriage one cant stay there.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
49 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"Phil is still in Eastenders?

Cat was with Alfie I thought

So who’s running the pub? "

Den and Angie I think

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By *immyinreadingMan
49 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Phil is still in Eastenders?

Cat was with Alfie I thought

So who’s running the pub?

Den and Angie I think "

Not Honey Rider any more then?

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

"My view is that if a couple talk from the start about problems and things, this situation might of been avoided

My view is that it is important to talk and make effort to see the other's point of view. That will give you better understanding of where they are coming from and why they eventually move on. Also, verify actions against words. I never pay much attention to explanations or promises, because talk is cheap and some people are often "just saying things" or think that telling you what you want to hear is a good way to keep the relationship going.

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By *olf and RedCouple
49 weeks ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

Communication is really important , sometimes though the other person chooses not to listen to what’s being said. Then you’ve effectively hit a brick wall.

Red

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By *anilla-sinCouple
49 weeks ago

lancs

"Phil is still in Eastenders?

Cat was with Alfie I thought

So who’s running the pub?

Den and Angie I think "

'ello princess

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By *oobaaMan
49 weeks ago

South Shields

It was talking that ended one relationship.

and the fact she pulled knive on me.

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