FabSwingers.com forum: Is it creepy...

By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

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By *luebell888Woman
46 weeks ago

Glasgowish

I don't like being called this by someone I do not know.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Use ppls names.

Dear/darling/hun and the rest, should be used between ppl in relationships

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
46 weeks ago

Maidstone

It's not something that bothers me. I've been called far worse!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
46 weeks ago

Leeds

By someone I don't know, it's a no, I am not "theirs" full stop, not their darling not their dear.

Mrs

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By *asygoingcouple1000Couple
46 weeks ago

all over

It's not creepy but nor is it sexy

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
46 weeks ago

Gloucester

If I don’t know you then yes it’s creepy.

Use my name when addressing me.

Kink (mrs)

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"It's not creepy but nor is it sexy"

Well, it's not intended to be sexy. Think of it more in terms of saying "hello mate"

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

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By *issmorganWoman
46 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Dear deffo, makes me feel about 80 lol.

I don't mind darling from people who know me well, my other half tends to call others darl.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ey up duck

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over

Horses for courses. All these and even mate or lad etc can be uncomfortable to someone. I mentioned a few times before I don't like it when the young assistant at local coop calls me mate. Overreaction, perhaps. But I don't think I am your mate, I am your custoner. On the other hand I vave been called darling myself before and did feel comfortable. It is the context that is important imo.

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By *unnesscoupleMan
46 weeks ago

Inverness

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

I'd probably go with "Mistress" but then one can dream

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

This is interesting.

I'd be really interested to hear from any women who are involved in theatre in some way because, I think generally it's much more normal in that world, even if it has started to be seen in the way I described.

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By *oxy jWoman
46 weeks ago

somerset

yes its creepy

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
46 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I dislike anyone referring to me as "My" anything.

But it's whatever. I know it's not generally meant that way. I just dislike it personally.

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By *ornycougaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"Horses for courses. All these and even mate or lad etc can be uncomfortable to someone. I mentioned a few times before I don't like it when the young assistant at local coop calls me mate. Overreaction, perhaps. But I don't think I am your mate, I am your custoner. On the other hand I vave been called darling myself before and did feel comfortable. It is the context that is important imo. "

I agree with you on shop assistants. "Mate" is definitely over familiar (unless you're in the shop enough to have some banter with them) I do prefer it to "Sir" though.

In my local tesco there's a lady who calls everyone "my love/lover" but, we simple Devon folk be like that!

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By *r_reusMan
46 weeks ago

Coventry

The correct way to address a woman is to call her 'my pretty...' (the implied ellipse is important for setting her mind at ease) and pawing around her chest/hair/shoulder region whilst standing right next to her, it also helps if you haven't washed in a few weeks or brushed your teeth.

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

I'm curious... do you really find "dear" the MOST insulting thing ever?

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By *ecretsinnersCouple
46 weeks ago

Yorkshire

I wouldn’t be offended at all. It’s been a normal part of my upbringing/surroundings to get called dear, darling, duck, love etc.

If you’d have said bro or mate. That would most likely grind my gears..

Mrs

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over

I agree with you on shop assistants. "Mate" is definitely over familiar (unless you're in the shop enough to have some banter with them) I do prefer it to "Sir" though.

In my local tesco there's a lady who calls everyone "my love/lover" but, we simple Devon folk be like that!"

The lady calls me 'pet'

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By *urvytreatWoman
46 weeks ago

somewhere nice

I hate being called dear, makes me feel like I’m 90 lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
46 weeks ago

East Sussex

If it's completely neutral and has no agenda other than friendliness I'd expect to hear someone calling men darling and dear too. So context is all as it so often is.

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I wouldn’t be offended at all. It’s been a normal part of my upbringing/surroundings to get called dear, darling, duck, love etc.

If you’d have said bro or mate. That would most likely grind my gears..

Mrs"

See, I'm with you on this. I see "my dear/darling/love/lovely" as normal terms used in casual interactions (again probably partly being a theatre luvvie and a Devon lad) but, "mate/bro" I would reserve for people I'm actually friends with.

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By *uri00620Woman
46 weeks ago

Croydon

[Removed by poster at 12/03/24 13:37:38]

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By *uri00620Woman
46 weeks ago

Croydon

Lots don't like it. I really can't be bothered getting upset about something like this. It's not intended as creepy so I wouldn't see it as such.

(I'll caveat this with in my day job I get sworn at quite frequently so my bar on things like this is pretty low)

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"If it's completely neutral and has no agenda other than friendliness I'd expect to hear someone calling men darling and dear too. So context is all as it so often is. "

I get that. In theater world, I call everyone 'darling/dear' which is why I've been so shocked by people (in that world) behaving as if I'd just said "yeah! Got on sexy pot, get your tits out!"

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

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By *ornycougaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

I'm curious... do you really find "dear" the MOST insulting thing ever? "

On here for me personally? Yes. I got called a fat, ugly slag once which was water off a ducks back but 'dear'.... Absolutely loathe the word

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
46 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I'm not keen on 'terms of endearment' from strangers. It's too familiar for my liking, but I don't pull people up on it as I recognise that there are cultural and regional differences.

The other one I really hate is being called 'young lady' - especially by someone younger than me. I am by no means young!!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

*noted*

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

I'm curious... do you really find "dear" the MOST insulting thing ever?

On here for me personally? Yes. I got called a fat, ugly slag once which was water off a ducks back but 'dear'.... Absolutely loathe the word"

Fair enough. That's so odd to me but, I reject your point of view. I just assumed being called actual pejoratives would be worse but, I kind of see your point.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
46 weeks ago

East Sussex

"If it's completely neutral and has no agenda other than friendliness I'd expect to hear someone calling men darling and dear too. So context is all as it so often is.

I get that. In theater world, I call everyone 'darling/dear' which is why I've been so shocked by people (in that world) behaving as if I'd just said "yeah! Got on sexy pot, get your tits out!""

Maybe things are changing in the world of theatre.

Once you get to my age being called dear or darling is always patronising, always.

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By *ornycougaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

*noted*"

Ffs.... I know how this one is playing out!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Narrator - Woody walks into the room, notices many friends. He approaches them one by one air kissing their cheeks.”mwha,mwah’

‘It’s good to see you darling,’ he says as he mutters under his breath how he thinks they look hot as fuck in what they’re wearing….

No I don’t use darling or dear, even with my thespian mates we use in a cliche type of way.

Are you dude a lot, or each girl friend will get their own nickname with me, a bit like the name in a Pokémon

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

I'm curious... do you really find "dear" the MOST insulting thing ever?

On here for me personally? Yes. I got called a fat, ugly slag once which was water off a ducks back but 'dear'.... Absolutely loathe the word

Fair enough. That's so odd to me but, I reject your point of view. I just assumed being called actual pejoratives would be worse but, I kind of see your point."

*respect!!! I RESPECT your point of view!

Fucking stupid autocorrect! So sorry!

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

So true. If a guy calls me dear on here he gets an instant block. Most unsexy and insulting thing ever

*noted*

Ffs.... I know how this one is playing out!

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By *LINCSLOVERMan
46 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

I don't really call a woman anything, depending where we are, I just hold a conversation

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

*reclines in shock*

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

* you GK*

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

It depends - it’s creepy and a little condescending to a lot of women, but I’ve noticed that some older ladies see it as polite and respectful, when said in a hospitality setting.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

* you GK*

I knew what you meant and I wasn’t happy the first time

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Those name can be colloquialisms can’t they?

I’m in Barnsley and we call each other,”love.”

This can also apply to man to man

Although in Barnsley men may call each other lad if they are acquainted ir mate if not

I don’t use the terms you describe as they aren’t a local colloquialism.

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

* you GK*

I knew what you meant and I wasn’t happy the first time

Sorry dear!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
46 weeks ago

Stratford

"I have been called 'dear' by a couple of 20 something men on here, it makes me feel so old!

You are

See its not that bad coming from GK, you're not a 20 something, you're a dear yourself!

* you GK*

I knew what you meant and I wasn’t happy the first time

Sorry dear!

You’re fucking in for it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
46 weeks ago

North West

"Those name can be colloquialisms can’t they?

I’m in Barnsley and we call each other,”love.”

This can also apply to man to man

Although in Barnsley men may call each other lad if they are acquainted ir mate if not

I don’t use the terms you describe as they aren’t a local colloquialism."

It's "cock" or "cocker" up here.

"Ye reet cock?" Is a generic greeting you hear pretty much daily.

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By *ealitybitesMan
46 weeks ago

Belfast

They aren't terms I've ever used but I have been called dear by a few elderly women and darling by English women working in retail.

It's not a word I've ever heard being used to strangers by anyone from NI but many will call others mate or love.

None of them bother me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Like Gollum I tend to use my precious. It’s gotten me nowhere so far.

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

I have a couple of further questions as a result of a string of messages I just got...

Is it unreasonable to ask someone to clarify their position?

Also, do my responses seem angry, disrespectful, or does it seem like I'm just a curious person trying to find out peoples point of view? (Allowing obviously for the fact I accidentally said I "reject" someone's point of view when I meant "respect"!)

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Yeh, it's creepy and patronising. Not the worst thing in the world but I would only say it if I were mock-patronising someone, especially a woman.

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By *ornycougaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I have a couple of further questions as a result of a string of messages I just got...

Is it unreasonable to ask someone to clarify their position?

It's your thread fella (dear?!) so you do you. Personally I like it when an OP both replies and respectfully challenges/expresses another opinion to replies.

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

" It's your thread fella (dear?!) so you do you. Personally I like it when an OP both replies and respectfully challenges/expresses another opinion to replies. "

That's the attitude I'm looking for!

If I appear disrespectful, it's likely a result of a typo or auto-correct fail, and I think its always wise to clarify before you start sending people snide private messages! (You know who you are!)

I thought it was a nice, respectful discussion about a topic I find a bit tricky because of my lifestyle I call almost everyone "Darling"!

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!)

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!) "
you can't always see disability

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!) you can't always see disability

I don't recall saying or implying you could.

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!) you can't always see disability

I don't recall saying or implying you could."
lol its ok it wasn't a criticism it was irony

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
46 weeks ago

belfast

"They aren't terms I've ever used but I have been called dear by a few elderly women and darling by English women working in retail.

It's not a word I've ever heard being used to strangers by anyone from NI but many will call others mate or love.

None of them bother me though. "

Yeah mate and love are the two from here.

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!) you can't always see disability

I don't recall saying or implying you could.lol its ok it wasn't a criticism it was irony

Oh ok. Sorry. After being taken to task for asking questions, I may be being a little defensive! Sorry

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By *ostindreamsMan
46 weeks ago

London

When I go out of London, I see lots of women in billing counters calling me "darling", "honey" etc. I personally find it sweet. But I understand not many people like it and a man using these words with woman might be different.

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By *ellinever70Woman
46 weeks ago

Ayrshire

It's unnecessary

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By *host63Man
46 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary? "

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I wouldn’t call anyone that tbf.

I notice the same thing. It’s a condescending thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 12/03/24 15:18:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

I dunno. I think a lot of men manage to not be creepy and to not get arrested just fine

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By *ndycoinsMan
46 weeks ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

Apparently Dickie Attenborough called everyone Love because he was crap at remembering names.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Over the age of 70 plus its probably fine. Someone younger you're taking the piss!

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By *uliette500Woman
46 weeks ago

Hull

I dislike any sort of over familiar pet names, darling, sweetheart, dear (which makes me feel like a pensioners) lovely etc etc.

From someone I don't know it is just creepy and I won't reply.

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By *irthandgirthMan
46 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

A lot of this is contextual and may depend where you live. In Yorkshire, where my parents live, being called 'love' by half the shop attendants at tills is normal. In Surrey, not so much.

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By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out."

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad

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By *uliette500Woman
46 weeks ago

Hull

"I have a couple of further questions as a result of a string of messages I just got...

Is it unreasonable to ask someone to clarify their position?

Your replies come across absolutely fine. Just curious and questioning to me.

I have already commented saying how much I dislike being called these type of words but I will also say I really don't mind if they are used in a shop etc as a persons general term for all customers but specifically on here when directly aimed at me it comes across as creepy.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
46 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

In thespian world I might call people "dahling" with my posh voice on and my tongue firmly in my cheek. Dear, nope, that's for old ladies. I call friends and children my lovely on occasion.

Mrs TMN x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
46 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just spurts out."

Jeez, Willy, mind the eyes!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
46 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad"

My kids call me bruh. Wtaf

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By *irthandgirthMan
46 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"In thespian world I might call people "dahling" with my posh voice on and my tongue firmly in my cheek. Dear, nope, that's for old ladies. I call friends and children my lovely on occasion.

Mrs TMN x"

I have female friends who I call 'lovely', but for me, that is a description of their character, not their looks.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad

My kids call me bruh. Wtaf"

Your kids are cool. Fair play

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By *ornycougaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad"

A FB of mine did once call me 'buddy' in a social context so you aren't alone!

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By *merican WomanWoman
46 weeks ago

live by the Pool xx

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary? "
unless you want to be serious with her, don't do it

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By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad"

Don't put me on your pedestal, bro is much worse

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By *merican WomanWoman
46 weeks ago

live by the Pool xx

Darlin. not doll, not darling

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"Darlin. not doll, not darling"

I can totally do that accent!

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By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just spurts out.

Jeez, Willy, mind the eyes!

Oii! Put your tit away

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By *elshcouple18Couple
46 weeks ago

Cardiff

Being called babe we hate..

Always called hannah luv

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I use sweetie a lot. Blame AbFab.

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

Too right! First thing I do when a man calls me dear is have him arrested, call me darling and I make sure the cuffs are extra tight!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

Too right! First thing I do when a man calls me dear is have him arrested, call me darling and I make sure the cuffs are extra tight!"

She put me in cuffs, it trigger my trauma, I tell her to stop it

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By *alandNitaCouple
46 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary? "

I couldn't call someone I don't know darling/dear or similar, it just feels creepy for me to do it... some people can carry it off though.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I regularly say darling/love.

I can't help myself, it just blurts out.

At least you don’t say bro. That’s just as bad

A FB of mine did once call me 'buddy' in a social context so you aren't alone! "

I do it all the time I don’t apologise for it.

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By *rill Phil OP Man
46 weeks ago

Crediton

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

Too right! First thing I do when a man calls me dear is have him arrested, call me darling and I make sure the cuffs are extra tight!"

Oh, is that right Darling?

*holds out wrists*

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"...to call a woman "my darling/dear"?

It's an odd one for me as I'm a theatre luvvie and I call most people dear/darling.

I'm asking because, I have noticed (even in the theatre) that when a man, particularly a straight man, calls a young woman (20 -35ish) "darling/dear" it's often met with hostility.

Are these terms rude, patronising and creepy, or are people being too reactionary?

These days anything you say to a woman is creepy and can get you arrested.

Too right! First thing I do when a man calls me dear is have him arrested, call me darling and I make sure the cuffs are extra tight!

She put me in cuffs, it trigger my trauma, I tell her to stop it "

Alright Dave!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

It's creepy.

I'd cut anyone dead who called me my dear or my darling.

Save it for the right relationships e.g. gays, other luvvies, mothers and children, committed couples....

Dear is hugely condescending in my opinion. Particularly from a man.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I use sweetie a lot. Blame AbFab. "

You could get away with most t hings....

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

We wouldn't use it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"In thespian world I might call people "dahling" with my posh voice on and my tongue firmly in my cheek. Dear, nope, that's for old ladies. I call friends and children my lovely on occasion.

Mrs TMN x"

Dear is NOT for old ladies ....... #notalloldladies

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Over the age of 70 plus its probably fine. Someone younger you're taking the piss!

Over the age of 70 is NOT fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I dislike being addressed as "dear" makes me feel like an old granny!

Darling would not be appreciated unless used by my partner, if I had one.

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By *ex HolesMan
46 weeks ago

Up North

I’ll call them darling and they’ll be grateful for it

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"This is interesting.

I'm involved in theatre. Not many people I've worked with are pretentious so maybe that's why it doesn't happen so much.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I’ll call them darling and they’ll be grateful for it

Call me darling and make me grateful - you arse lovin' bandito! Yeeeeeha

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
46 weeks ago

North West

"In thespian world I might call people "dahling" with my posh voice on and my tongue firmly in my cheek. Dear, nope, that's for old ladies. I call friends and children my lovely on occasion.

Mrs TMN x

Dear is NOT for old ladies ....... #notalloldladies "

NoTallOldLadies? Granny, we mustn't be height-ist

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

and #noshortoldladies !

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I don't think its creepy at all but i guess if you get called something enough you eventually get tired of it like ' handsome hunk' or ' beefcake' or 'sex god' or 'mate'

If someone called me "handsome hunk" I'd probably laugh myself into an early grave! (Once I had established they didn't have any serious visual impairment!) you can't always see disability

I don't recall saying or implying you could.lol its ok it wasn't a criticism it was irony

Oh ok. Sorry. After being taken to task for asking questions, I may be being a little defensive! Sorry"
its ok

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Over the age of 70 plus its probably fine. Someone younger you're taking the piss!

Over the age of 70 is NOT fine."
go back 10 years then reverse the sands of time

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
46 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Over the age of 70 plus its probably fine. Someone younger you're taking the piss!

Over the age of 70 is NOT fine.go back 10 years then reverse the sands of time

Too late for me to lie - i'm out - well out.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I use sweetie a lot. Blame AbFab.

You could get away with most t hings.... "

Wait … are you my lawyer?

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By *he Vital SparkMan
46 weeks ago

Preston

Interested to know from the ladies in here, what they would prefer to be called instead. Hopefully not Hungover or Babe

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By *he Vital SparkMan
46 weeks ago

Preston

Hun not Hungover pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Depends on the person, one friend calls me this and I accept it even though he's not an 70 year old man

but anyone I don't know, can come across as a bit patronising.

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By * and R cple4Couple
46 weeks ago

swansea

It really don't bother or offend me.Theirs definitely worse things I could be called..

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By *lder.Woman
46 weeks ago

Not Local

I think I would be mortified to be called Dear

Darling, I could imagine being said in a theatrical way, so it would probably make me smile, or I would expect them to burst into song or lean in for the double cheek kiss. I dont know anyone extrovert enough to do that

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I think I would be mortified to be called Dear

Omg I do that

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By *lder.Woman
46 weeks ago

Not Local

"I think I would be mortified to be called Dear

Omg I do that

That's brilliant, I think it might make my day to be greeted like that

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By *inger_SnapWoman
46 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

It really depends how they say it. It can be a little bit patronising maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"Use ppls names.

Dear/darling/hun and the rest, should be used between ppl in relationships "

This.

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By *alandNitaCouple
46 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

If very much depends who it is and how they say it.

Lots of people call everyone "luv", I think in the NW it's "duck". I don't find generic colloquialisms offensive, amusing maybe if they're a lot younger than me.

I hate babe though and darling is only acceptable in a Cockney accent

Nita

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
46 weeks ago

North West

"If very much depends who it is and how they say it.

Lots of people call everyone "luv", I think in the NW it's "duck". I don't find generic colloquialisms offensive, amusing maybe if they're a lot younger than me.

I hate babe though and darling is only acceptable in a Cockney accent

Nita"

Duck is more Midlands. Luv is definitely NW England, or more local colloquialisms like "cock" or "cocker" up here.

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"If very much depends who it is and how they say it.

Lots of people call everyone "luv", I think in the NW it's "duck". I don't find generic colloquialisms offensive, amusing maybe if they're a lot younger than me.

I hate babe though and darling is only acceptable in a Cockney accent

Nita

Duck is more Midlands. Luv is definitely NW England, or more local colloquialisms like "cock" or "cocker" up here. "

Yes, duck is definietly Midlands.

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By *aizyWoman
46 weeks ago

west midlands

"If very much depends who it is and how they say it.

Lots of people call everyone "luv", I think in the NW it's "duck". I don't find generic colloquialisms offensive, amusing maybe if they're a lot younger than me.

I hate babe though and darling is only acceptable in a Cockney accent

Nita

Duck is more Midlands. Luv is definitely NW England, or more local colloquialisms like "cock" or "cocker" up here.

Yes, duck is definietly Midlands."

*definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Wanker is more Luton.

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