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The first thing to your right is going straight up the next posters Arse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
37 weeks ago

Sorry its a steaming hot cup of coffee

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ocksareoffMan
37 weeks ago

Out n About

I don't think a knife, fork and plate would be such a good idea...

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By *arla SwingerWoman
37 weeks ago

Somewhere

A cat

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Can of Pepsi max

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A Sky remote

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

A lamp, its a nice lamp tho Joe!

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"A lamp, its a nice lamp tho Joe! "

Not for much longer

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By *undee2Man
37 weeks ago

Dundee

Sorry, but a computer mouse. I'm working still

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By *alm_one4Man
37 weeks ago

RM16

Empty crisp packet

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By *thwiltsmMan
37 weeks ago

salisbury

Oh god I’m sorry! It’s a toilet brush

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
37 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

A tube of Pringles, Texas BBQ, for those with a taste preference.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
37 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

My German Shepherd

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A bottle of shampoo

Herbal essences to be specific. Its an awkward shape but we can make it work

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

Nail file

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
37 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Sorry Misty you have an empty wine glass

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

My warm coffee flask

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
37 weeks ago

North West

My handbag.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
37 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"Sorry Misty you have an empty wine glass"

But it's next to a fucking huge plant. Your choice

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r and Mrs CACACouple
37 weeks ago

congleton

Erm…..the mrs…..I doubt she’d fit

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
37 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"My handbag. "

You can have the plant.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
37 weeks ago

Southampton

An electric fan ! Hope they have lube !!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex


"Sorry Misty you have an empty wine glass

But it's next to a fucking huge plant. Your choice"

As long as it’s not a cactus…

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
37 weeks ago

North West


"My handbag.

You can have the plant."

A small, unspiky one preferably.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"My handbag. "

Well I guess I’ll have to bend over if you need anything out of it then

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
37 weeks ago

…

Sorry it’s a mouse…..a computer mouse!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

A five-foot tall standard lamp.

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By *panksspankedMan
37 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Well I think the Virgin remote is about to pop its cherry

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Sorry but it’s gonna be the tv remote …. And half way through the game lol

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By *he ass man 666Man
37 weeks ago

paradise city

Pint glass so be careful

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickylouCouple
37 weeks ago

Bi

Bedside lamp.

Will give it a couple on minutes for the bulb to cook a little.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A printout of all the "why can't I get laid here" threads. Sorry, it will take a while to stuff it up your bum...

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By *aximum_funMan
37 weeks ago

West Herts

Washing up brush! Enjoy

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By *andaloriansCouple
37 weeks ago

Malvern

Hahaha unlucky! My cat!

S

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By *exxyyDy11Man
37 weeks ago

North West


"Hahaha unlucky! My cat!

S"

Even more unlucky. My dog

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
37 weeks ago

North West


"My handbag.

Well I guess I’ll have to bend over if you need anything out of it then "

I'll probably have to shake you to get the stuff out of the corners.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lynJMan
37 weeks ago

Morden

A back support cushion.

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By *estarossa.Woman
37 weeks ago

Flagrante

Bookshelf!

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By *iss.Bella.Woman
37 weeks ago

Wales

Elmo stuffed toy

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By *angerouslemaisonsMan
37 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Elmo stuffed toy "

I’m so sorry it’s rather large lamp

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
37 weeks ago

Worcester

Oh god… not the cat!

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A stuffed animal

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
37 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

A wardrobe

Mr

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By *andaloriansCouple
37 weeks ago

Malvern


"Hahaha unlucky! My cat!

S

Even more unlucky. My dog "

Lol our dog is the size of a small pony, so if yours is anything like ours, ouch!

S

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *alandNitaCouple
37 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

A tapestry kit

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A elux vape

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By *andaloriansCouple
37 weeks ago

Malvern


"Oh god… not the cat!"

Im afraid so......problem is, shes that laidback, shed just let it happen i reckon!

S

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *C79Man
37 weeks ago

Caterham

A Lego minifigure of Thor

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By *rispyDuckMan
37 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

My wardrobe

We gonna need more lube hahaha

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By *quirrelMan
37 weeks ago

East Manchester

A glass topped coffee table..

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By *hubs101Man
37 weeks ago

West Midlands

My vape

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By *igboobstCouple
37 weeks ago

barrow

A pint glass

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Angle grinder

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By *he Vital SparkMan
37 weeks ago

Preston

Mercedes G wagon

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By *ansexualPandaMan
37 weeks ago

Near You

I've taken bigger

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By *ansexualPandaMan
37 weeks ago

Near You

Leather sofa

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By *issmorganWoman
37 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

A radiator.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ornycougaWoman
37 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

A vegetable samosa

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Tabby cat meow

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By *iseekingbiCouple
37 weeks ago

N ireland and West Midlands

1 A full set of Encyclopedia Britannica and a box of suppositories.

2 Lee Anderson

3 The duvet

Only 1 of above is true

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

A 25 kg dog.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
37 weeks ago

Home

Fireguard

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By *ourisfunCouple
37 weeks ago

Central


"Fireguard "

Hubby

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

My vape

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *evonFbsCouple
37 weeks ago

SIDMOUTH

Coffee vending machine

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Door.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A small plate

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By *assy69Man
37 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales


"Sorry its a steaming hot cup of coffee "

It’s a fiat 500 right now

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Pam

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By *ostindreamsMan
37 weeks ago

London

LG TV remote

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asyGent75Man
37 weeks ago

Doncaster South Yorkshire

The back door

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *asyGent75Man
37 weeks ago

Doncaster South Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 12/03/24 08:44:56]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *valanche1001Man
37 weeks ago

Leeds

A 6” sample of curtain track profile

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By *lleyCat1969Man
37 weeks ago

Folkestone

My mouse (computer, not squeaky)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educing_EmCouple
37 weeks ago

Tipperary

Bedside locker

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By *assConductorMan
37 weeks ago

the wild

A box Timberland boots box. Ouch.

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By *TG3Man
37 weeks ago

Dorchester

A mini pool table

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By *ink vixenCouple
37 weeks ago

Medway

Southern England!

(Well a map of it)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester

A 3d printed miniature of jk Rowling with a cock

Don’t ask doing a painting commission

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
37 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"A 3d printed miniature of jk Rowling with a cock

Don’t ask doing a painting commission "

My mom's car

Mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uri00620Woman
37 weeks ago

Croydon

Peppa Pig

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By *ilddukeMan
37 weeks ago

notts

Stapler

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By *ilddukeMan
37 weeks ago

notts


"A 3d printed miniature of jk Rowling with a cock

Don’t ask doing a painting commission "

That great lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester


"A 3d printed miniature of jk Rowling with a cock

Don’t ask doing a painting commission

My mom's car

Mr "

Now I can stretch my asshole wide with my fist at times but Gosh we gonna need a lot of lube for moms car . I mean do we reverse it In or drive it in

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ros40Man
37 weeks ago

Bedford

My apologies, it's a 1 litre water bottle

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By *2000ManMan
37 weeks ago

Worthing

Cup of green tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"My handbag.

Well I guess I’ll have to bend over if you need anything out of it then

I'll probably have to shake you to get the stuff out of the corners.

"

I suppose that all depends on where your shaking

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivilised matureMan
37 weeks ago

Barnes sometimes Dulwich Village

I'm having a shave sorry

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
37 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"A 3d printed miniature of jk Rowling with a cock

Don’t ask doing a painting commission

My mom's car

Mr

Now I can stretch my asshole wide with my fist at times but Gosh we gonna need a lot of lube for moms car . I mean do we reverse it In or drive it in "

I mean have you seen my reverse parking, it may end up sidewards

Mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

A book, you'll have to wait a while tho, I want to finish reading it first!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hrowawaydevice1987Man
37 weeks ago

SW London/Surrey

My computer monitor

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rill PhilMan
37 weeks ago

Crediton

[Removed by poster at 12/03/24 16:39:57]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rill PhilMan
37 weeks ago

Crediton

My water flask

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oanne ETV/TS
37 weeks ago

Near Warrington

There goes my mobile phone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *estmids71Man
37 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I'm sorry.... Its a laser printer....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ark RumMan
37 weeks ago

Bucks

Ouch I got a ciggy on the go

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyRebelMan
37 weeks ago

Swindon

Ooh eck, it's a rubber duck

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By *arrySwindonMan
37 weeks ago

Swindon

A Lindor

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By *uvery30Woman
37 weeks ago

Gloucestershire


"Ooh eck, it's a rubber duck"

Hmm my wardrobe

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By *ark RumMan
37 weeks ago

Bucks


"Ooh eck, it's a rubber duck"

Must be quackers!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
37 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"Ooh eck, it's a rubber duck

Must be quackers!"

locked meds cabinet

Mr

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hris3092Man
37 weeks ago

Swansea / Valencia

Not good, it is a small terrier, could be worse the Gordon Setter moved a few minuits ago.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Vital SparkMan
37 weeks ago

Preston

Yesterday it was a Mercedes G Wagon, I'm afraid today it's an oil filled radiator and it's very hot( rather you than me )

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Washing basket.

Mrs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hubs101Man
37 weeks ago

West Midlands

Bowl of dry dog food

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *idlandiaMan
37 weeks ago

Birmingham

Shi'wari chair

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A sky remote.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester

My mum

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By *annia440Man
37 weeks ago

greater London

44 tonn truck and trailer

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *archelCouple
37 weeks ago

A field somewhere

Laptop

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester


"44 tonn truck and trailer "

I like big hard things in my tailpipe

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oo..Woman
37 weeks ago

Boo's World

A Bulldog

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"My mum "

Hahaha. I did not expect that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *illnatMan
37 weeks ago

wherever i need to be

Xbox Controller - yikes

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkster seekingMan
37 weeks ago

ponty

Sorry its my pc mouse

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *annia440Man
37 weeks ago

greater London

I shall bear that in mind

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *harlieadventurerMan
37 weeks ago

Abingdon

The TV remote control

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oupleus30Couple
37 weeks ago

Minster

What do you want a remote control, or a pillow they are all equal distances

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *D3!Man
37 weeks ago

Cheltenham

A table I made from an engine crankshaft

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
37 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

A mirror amd I can see my arse in it

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By *TG3Man
37 weeks ago

Dorchester

Bedside table

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
37 weeks ago

Leamington Spa


"Bedside table "

Oofftttt

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By *arol321Woman
37 weeks ago

Poole

I really hope not - it’s my ginger cat Charlie

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By *TG3Man
37 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Bedside table

Oofftttt "
its quite aerodynamic mind

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
37 weeks ago

Leamington Spa


"Bedside table

Oofftttt its quite aerodynamic mind "

Phewww

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *akedMMan
37 weeks ago

Witney

Sky remote

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rHotNottsMan
37 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

The arm of a leather couch. I’ll grease iit so ready for you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orthtosouthMan
37 weeks ago

Sheffield

Record player

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lirtyfun123Woman
37 weeks ago

essex

Kids homework book

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughtyGent86Man
37 weeks ago

Stockport

Tumble dryer

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A space hopper

I can deflate it first and stuff it up there, don’t worry.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

A ceramic dog bowl.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
37 weeks ago

Southampton


"A ceramic dog bowl."

, the next person can have my husband

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *igboobstCouple
37 weeks ago

barrow

Firestick remote so fairly compact

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
37 weeks ago

Llanelli

That will be my fwb then, ouch to the unlucky one

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *owthen99Man
37 weeks ago

Attenborough

My pump!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Bedside lamp

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ocksareoffMan
37 weeks ago

Out n About

TV Remote or the cat? The choice is yours...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
37 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

My fucking machine lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ggdrasil66Man
37 weeks ago

Saltdean

Damn, it’s my vape pen!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

The dog or a can of coca-cola, think either would bring a tear to the eye

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkylipsWoman
37 weeks ago

Debauchery

A box of milk tray

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uchasGMan
37 weeks ago

Northwest

My ear buds charging box

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Tv remote small or large

Choices

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *orthtosouthMan
37 weeks ago

Sheffield

My shoe rack

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r_PinkMan
37 weeks ago

london stratford


"My shoe rack"

my pussy cat!

hi name is Jerry btw, and I don't think he will like it, so be prepaired for him to scratch

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ocknrollerMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow/Stirlingshire

My pal haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ust MikeMan
37 weeks ago

Yaxley

A sky remote lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aizyWoman
37 weeks ago

west midlands

A clock, its square so it might hurt a bit!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iMale4CouplexxMan
37 weeks ago

halifax

It’s an angle poise desk lamp. Sorry

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oofer1Man
37 weeks ago

consett

Oh shit the ironing board

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
37 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

The cat might have something to say about this!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
37 weeks ago

Bristol

I feel sorry for the person that can take a 1979 MultiMoog...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oofer1Man
37 weeks ago

consett


"The cat might have something to say about this!"
hope cat ok.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittleRed18Woman
37 weeks ago

Aberdeen

My bath tub!!! You better limber up, poster below

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago


"My bath tub!!! You better limber up, poster below "

I’ve heard of plug play but that takes it to the extreme

Anyway…..I’ll be a little more gentle and say a bedside lamp

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Choice of a 4 slice toaster or an air frier

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
37 weeks ago

Home

My loose change bottle

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *issy_named_cTV/TS
37 weeks ago

Edinburgh

A toilet brush

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A bed side lamp - ouch!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aggy dollsCouple
37 weeks ago

Bradford

Erm... Telegraph pole

Mr H

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *pYaMan
37 weeks ago

Ready…

It’s a cucumber, just making Lunch

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *irthandgirthMan
37 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

I doubt it.. sat next to a wall

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

A power bank

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By *pYaMan
37 weeks ago

Ready…

My neighbour Barry

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Tumble drier

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By *valanche1001Man
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Apple Pencil

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By *alico_KittyWoman
37 weeks ago

Kittys Lane

My kindle

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By *otyouraverageguyMan
37 weeks ago

W Midlands & N Wales

A water bottle

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
37 weeks ago

Stourbridge

My medications! (There’s a lot)

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By *osco78Man
37 weeks ago

Sheffield

My usc cable

Yikes

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By *ortyairCouple
37 weeks ago

Wallasey

2ltr Pepsi Max bottle...ouch, Mrs c

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By *octor ProdMan
37 weeks ago

working Overseas

An AutoCAD 3D mouse; a bit bigger than a normal mouse

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By *ortyairCouple
37 weeks ago

Wallasey


"An AutoCAD 3D mouse; a bit bigger than a normal mouse"
, Mrs x

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
37 weeks ago

A den in the Glen


"An AutoCAD 3D mouse; a bit bigger than a normal mouse , Mrs x"

Someone's white Peugeot 208

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By *octor ProdMan
37 weeks ago

working Overseas


"An AutoCAD 3D mouse; a bit bigger than a normal mouse , Mrs x"

Its a bit bigger than a games controller, so it would bring a tear to the eye (if it was actually to fit it in)

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By *eneralKenobiMan
37 weeks ago

North Angus

A 205ltr barrel of oil

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