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Fuckable but not dateable?

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By *sWyld OP Woman
37 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I'm piggybacking on someone else's thread again but it got me thinking about this question. Is this a thing?

Do you see yourself or others in that way?

Can you be both if the foundation starts with sex only?

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

There's no right or wrong in any of this.

I definitely think I'm more fuckabke than I am dateable, purely because that's what my experiences have been, but equally it's all I've probably allowed when I look back at my choices.

I also do terribly on dating sites but pretty well on here!

So is it a thing or just an insecurity?

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By *ou only live onceMan
37 weeks ago

London

Oh, I'm infinitely more dateable than fuckable.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
37 weeks ago

Stockport

My experience is that I'm neither dateable or fuckable.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I'm open to whatever. If we got along really well and wanted to try for more, then I'd go for it.

Be silly to pass up a chance to be happy, purely based on where we met.

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By *ife NinjaMan
37 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Physical attraction only goes so far. If you're just after a one nighter, then you need nothing else, but, and I speak personally here, if you want it to last into a friendship, there has to be something relateable, which leads to a date style situation.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
37 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I'm well aware that many people consider me fuckable but absolutely not dateable.

I don't have any interest in fucking those people

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I'm open to...

... where we met.

"

Completely forgot to answer the question lol.

Seems more dateable, than fuckable so far. Had a few people want more (and not talk about it).

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By *ornycougaWoman
37 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

Based on the past 5 or so years of being single I am fuckable, dateable but not full on relationship material. I'm insecure, challenging and too independent be in a relationship. But for an occasional/regular day/night I'm alright sometimes!

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By *inaandterryCouple
37 weeks ago

Westmeath

It's all perception, what some might see as purely fuckable traits some might see as dateable. Some of the best sex I've had is with crazy people, it's finding right bit crazy, an not the bunny boiler crazy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that? "

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
37 weeks ago

London or Bedford

Actually an ex once told me she wouldn’t gimmie a reply on here, because I don’t look like someone she’d just wanna shag.

Didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not

So yeah. I guess I’m Dateable but not Fuckable

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By *orksRockerMan
37 weeks ago

Bradford

I've never been on a dating site and not used Facebook in over 10 years, I use this site as a social site and if things progress further, I wouldn't put up any barriers specifically to stop it.

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By *layfullsamMan
37 weeks ago

Solihull

I’m sure it’s more complicated but girls who are dateable are also fuckable but Not all girls who are fuckable are dateable.

And I’m sure this is exactly the same in reverse,

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By *exxyyDy11Man
37 weeks ago

North West

"Actually an ex once told me she wouldn’t gimmie a reply on here, because I don’t look like someone she’d just wanna shag.

Didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not

So yeah. I guess I’m Dateable but not Fuckable

"

Jeeeez that's really harsh from her mate

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By *layfullsamMan
37 weeks ago

Solihull

"I’m sure it’s more complicated but girls who are dateable are also fuckable but Not all girls who are fuckable are dateable.

And I’m sure this is exactly the same in reverse, "

On a dating site sadly some probably pretend a girl is dateable just to get sex (that’s the sad side)

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

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By *arla SwingerWoman
37 weeks ago

Somewhere

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex"

And then it seems those same men sometimes find themselves in a sex less marriage down the line, and if you ask was there much sex at the beginning they'll state, not really or she was never very keen... Shocker

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I think I may be more dateable as I live the social side as well the sex side of things but I'm not sure that would eventually lead to having a full blown relationship. There are also a lot of people on here who I would fuck but not date and still enjoy being in the company of.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I'm too dumb and naive to realise either. Had fwbs in the past who have mentioned the looks I get when out but never noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

If I would have sex with them, I’d date them. I know sex doesn’t have to be something deep but I truly believe that I enjoy sex with people I connect with and get on with the most. And I’m trying to be more intentional. So anyone that I’d let touch me intimately is worthy of being dated.

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By *ellinever70Woman
37 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

"

Is that not because you're married?

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?"

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex

And then it seems those same men sometimes find themselves in a sex less marriage down the line, and if you ask was there much sex at the beginning they'll state, not really or she was never very keen... Shocker

"

Exactly

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
37 weeks ago

Reading

Totally true. I think that's why fat women do better on this site than on others.

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By *ddie_14051991Man
37 weeks ago

Paisley / Glasgow

I can't comment as I barely ever seen to be anyone's cuppa tea hahaha

, each to there own I would say , it's like marmite hahaha

I know I'm joking around alot but I never seem to do well on dating site's either or on here, but it is what it is, I prefer meeting people in person anyways like in a bar or club or a socials, easier that way and people can get to know the real you and not a profile picture or txt on a screen

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex

And then it seems those same men sometimes find themselves in a sex less marriage down the line, and if you ask was there much sex at the beginning they'll state, not really or she was never very keen... Shocker

Exactly

"

Then they come to fab!

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By *ellinever70Woman
37 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive. "

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though "

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
37 weeks ago

Reading

"Physical attraction only goes so far. If you're just after a one nighter, then you need nothing else, but, and I speak personally here, if you want it to last into a friendship, there has to be something relateable, which leads to a date style situation.

"

It's not necessarily true. I have fwbs that I'm not dating even if we sometimes do datelike things. I think dates are something that happen on a more regular basis than i see some of my fwbs. I love variety, so I prefer the fwb 5 need the connection and intimacy that a fwb situation gives me. I have known some of them for years now.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
37 weeks ago

Liverpool

The fragility of the male ego is definitely part of it but I think societal stigma is the biggest reason.

Fucking can be kept private (albeit not all of us do!) whereas dating/relationships are a public show of interest and commitment in someone.

Frankly, people will rarely want to go against convention and say I know this person is 30 years older/younger or less physically attractive but they blow my mind between the sheets and that's why you are seeing me with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

"

Did someone say… POLY

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester

No some people are just fuckable then move on

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
37 weeks ago

Central

I've got men shagging me who wouldn't be seen dead with me, mostly as the norm.

.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
37 weeks ago

Essex

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

Did someone say… POLY

"

Ooop - I summoned the pickle

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

Did someone say… POLY

Ooop - I summoned the pickle "

If you say Poly or Black my spidey senses tingle.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
37 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t really know. Depends how you define dating. Dating with a view to a proper relationship I’ve never wanted anyway and always make that clear. Dating as in doing other stuff as well as sex is different. I wouldn’t meet someone who just wanted sex and nothing else so I suppose I don’t know the answer to this. Nobody is relationship material to me as I don’t want one.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"…..

I definitely think I'm more fuckabke than I am dateable, purely because that's what my experiences have been, but equally it's all I've probably allowed when I look back at my choices.

I also do terribly on dating sites but pretty well on here!

So is it a thing or just an insecurity? "

I’m not insecure, I’m very aware where I am. I simply do not socialise with women on a day-to-day basis. That is just my circumstances of where I work and my life. And that’s why I found myself on apps. Ffs, I hate it, I’m a sociable person. My friend circle is non-existent anymore.

And then finding yourself just fucked, and that’s all they want nothing more makes me very aware that’s all I’m for some people. And I’m alright with that, because sexy is fun and it’s enjoyable with fun people.

So my current experience is very similar to yours, Wyld.

You can’t force something isn’t there can you?

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By *hrek101Man
37 weeks ago

Herts

On fab I'm not fuckable, on dating sites I m definitely not datable. I've been told I look like someone just interested in sex several times on dating sites despite my profile making it clear I'm serious. However all my sex comes from dating sites. On a site for women looking for affairs I have done very well. So on some I'm fuckable but I not sure I am dateable at all.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
37 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I don’t really know. Depends how you define dating. Dating with a view to a proper relationship I’ve never wanted anyway and always make that clear. Dating as in doing other stuff as well as sex is different. I wouldn’t meet someone who just wanted sex and nothing else so I suppose I don’t know the answer to this. Nobody is relationship material to me as I don’t want one. "

You summed that up quite well, I don’t mind dating, too a point, but definitely not dating with a view to relationship type dating.

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By *ockboy77Man
37 weeks ago

Angus, and Aberdeen area

I think I’d prefer to be datable and fuckable to people on here rather than “real life” to be honest. Both parties would know where they stand

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
37 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

It's awkward when you're somewhere in between..

I'm probably neither to most but then I want more than just sex but not a relationship either ..

Weekends away and overnight is awesome but I need a close bond for that and not just fucking..

Finding that though is as likely as West Ham winning the Premier League

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Yes, such people exist. It is a category men put women into. I am reliably informed women do the same.

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By *Cups32Woman
37 weeks ago

Colne

"I'm piggybacking on someone else's thread again but it got me thinking about this question. Is this a thing?

Do you see yourself or others in that way?

Can you be both if the foundation starts with sex only?

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

There's no right or wrong in any of this.

I definitely think I'm more fuckabke than I am dateable, purely because that's what my experiences have been, but equally it's all I've probably allowed when I look back at my choices.

I also do terribly on dating sites but pretty well on here!

So is it a thing or just an insecurity? "

I feel exactly the same.

Never the girl a guy wants to date but they'd happily stick their dick in me.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
37 weeks ago

Worcester

I think I’m a fucking catch so both sleeping with me and dating me is a privilege.

A lot of men have told me over the years that I’m not “wife material” which I assume just means I’m not able to be controlled to their preferred degree so it’s never really impacted the way I’ve thought of myself.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

Like Pickles, I only fuck people I’d want to date. And I’d only date people I want to fuck.

Since I’m married I don’t date anyone. But I’m only going to have casual sex with people I *would* date. If that makes sense. And it does to me.

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By *irthandgirthMan
37 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Based on the past 5 or so years of being single I am fuckable, dateable but not full on relationship material. I'm insecure, challenging and too independent be in a relationship. But for an occasional/regular day/night I'm alright sometimes! "

*checks that London is still just down the road and clears diary*

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By *r_reusMan
37 weeks ago

Coventry

Sounds like the polar opposite of being friend zoned?

You got fuck zoned!

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By *irthandgirthMan
37 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

I would never fuck someone I wouldn't happily take on a date. As a rule I have to like someone before I put my penis in them. However I know other people use fab in different ways and that's cool.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Like Pickles, I only fuck people I’d want to date. And I’d only date people I want to fuck. Since I’m married I don’t date anyone. But I’m only going to have casual sex with people I *would* date. If that makes sense. And it does to me."

^ I’ve realised this all goes to show that I don’t generally go to clubs any more. That club environment changes things. It becomes much more about the straight-up physical act and less about connections.

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By *illy IdolMan
37 weeks ago

Midlands

"Sounds like the polar opposite of being friend zoned?

You got fuck zoned!"

In

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By *emidemiWoman
37 weeks ago

basingstoke

"If I would have sex with them, I’d date them. I know sex doesn’t have to be something deep but I truly believe that I enjoy sex with people I connect with and get on with the most. And I’m trying to be more intentional. So anyone that I’d let touch me intimately is worthy of being dated. "

How do you always manage to put my exact thoughts into words?

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"It's awkward when you're somewhere in between..

I'm probably neither to most but then I want more than just sex but not a relationship either ..

Weekends away and overnight is awesome but I need a close bond for that and not just fucking..

Finding that though is as likely as West Ham winning the Premier League

"

I think you described the holy grail

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I’m probably not dateable. Long story, but fuckable probably and as for whether someone would fuck me but not date me, probably.

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By *loriouscurvesWoman
37 weeks ago

wild west lothian

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex"

I agree

I get a lot more attention but also positive feedback and interactions here than I have had from dating sites.

So OP I’m more fuckable than dateable by a long way.

I’m also not slim and that seems to be more of a preference on dating sites there I’ve found guys with mummy kinks, those that think it’s acceptable to tell me to lose weight on date 3 or very clingy guys.

My personality doesn’t change when I weigh less but on dating sites it seems to be more important.

I get that some guys on here are very driven by their sex drive and would not look at me twice if I was out in the real world. I’m not naive or stupid.

However I have made good friends on here over the years and made good connections with those that see the whole of me.

I explore my sexuality and go through my bucket list on here something I cannot do via dating.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
37 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"It's awkward when you're somewhere in between..

I'm probably neither to most but then I want more than just sex but not a relationship either ..

Weekends away and overnight is awesome but I need a close bond for that and not just fucking..

Finding that though is as likely as West Ham winning the Premier League

I think you described the holy grail"

Hence I don't hold out much hope

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
37 weeks ago

Aberdeen

I think I am both dateable and fuckable.

For me it was always finding someone I wanted to let in to see the real me, not the watered down version most people get - so other people were mostly fuckable not datable to me, even if I liked them.

MrsAbz

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I find that, men want to fuck me but not date me, like you're only seen in one way and put in one category x

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By *rispyDuckMan
37 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I’m definitely fuck not date material

cause I have an insatiable appetite & enjoy excitement of different partners!

which I’m sure is like most people on here.

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By *weet.touchMan
37 weeks ago

liverpool

Rare but there are some women I would see as fuckable not dateable. I love a wild woman and some are dateable... but there are some who just seem to have no morals/loyalty.

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By *weetCherryWoman
37 weeks ago

London

Story of my life

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By *alandNitaCouple
37 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

I don't think that "not getting matches" makes someone undateable. Apps are filled with with photo filters and embellished bio's, it can be VERY hard to compete with that if you project your genuine self. If you can't get matches in the virtual world, then maybe it's better to try a more "IRL" approach?

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By *a LunaWoman
37 weeks ago

South Wales

These threads always bring out the “I’d date but not “proper” date someone because I don’t want a relationship.

But like, why? This site seems to view the word relationship as a bad thing.

I mean some relationships can be bloody wonderful. But folk are like “no, no not for me blah blah blah”

Or is it because they are already taken? Hankering after someone else? Scared to get hurt (again)?

I just find being so anti relationship a bit odd.

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By *rHotNottsMan
37 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I know I’m mostly undateable / regular relationship type, but I seem to be fuckable. It bothered me at first but not anymore

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
37 weeks ago

Southampton

Not a clue what I am

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I don't think that "not getting matches" makes someone undateable. Apps are filled with with photo filters and embellished bio's, it can be VERY hard to compete with that if you project your genuine self. If you can't get matches in the virtual world, then maybe it's better to try a more "IRL" approach? "

Having experienced dating apps before fab. Nope. Theres a lot of demands, women my age are looking for younger men and other factors at play that made it impossible

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By *ellinever70Woman
37 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I don't think that "not getting matches" makes someone undateable. Apps are filled with with photo filters and embellished bio's, it can be VERY hard to compete with that if you project your genuine self. If you can't get matches in the virtual world, then maybe it's better to try a more "IRL" approach?

Having experienced dating apps before fab. Nope. Theres a lot of demands, women my age are looking for younger men and other factors at play that made it impossible "

Weren't there also women your age looking for men the same age?

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By *rofessor ElementalMan
37 weeks ago

Durham

Both areas crossover in different circumstances.

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I don't think that "not getting matches" makes someone undateable. Apps are filled with with photo filters and embellished bio's, it can be VERY hard to compete with that if you project your genuine self. If you can't get matches in the virtual world, then maybe it's better to try a more "IRL" approach?

Having experienced dating apps before fab. Nope. Theres a lot of demands, women my age are looking for younger men and other factors at play that made it impossible

Weren't there also women your age looking for men the same age?"

Not particularly and got very few chats, never mind a meet.

Used t*nder, B*mble and m*tch on paid month about three times each. First couple of weeks okay but second half of month grim.

So gave up. It is what it is

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By *hrek101Man
37 weeks ago

Herts

"I know I’m mostly undateable / regular relationship type, but I seem to be fuckable. It bothered me at first but not anymore "

It shouldn't bother me but it does. What is wrong with that I'm only good for sex.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
37 weeks ago

Worcester

"These threads always bring out the “I’d date but not “proper” date someone because I don’t want a relationship.

But like, why? This site seems to view the word relationship as a bad thing.

I mean some relationships can be bloody wonderful. But folk are like “no, no not for me blah blah blah”

Or is it because they are already taken? Hankering after someone else? Scared to get hurt (again)?

I just find being so anti relationship a bit odd."

I also find it puzzling.

Our culture indoctrinates us to believe that there is only one true style of relationship - monogamy ending in marriage and kids. The kind where you spend every day together and never get tired of each other.

But there are other options out there. Options where you can be serious but you only see each other infrequently. Where you are serious but you don’t share finances. Where you are serious but never want to escalate past the wonderfully playful dating stage.

People will tell you that these things aren’t real relationships; fuck those people.

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By *electableicecreamMan
37 weeks ago

The West

I guess it just depends on what people are looking for at that point in their lives.

For myself I can't imagine sleeping with someone I wouldn't date. Dating for me doesn't automatically signal a path to a monogamous relationship. It's a whole other slice of sharing and fun and intimacy to share with another person.

I also agree with with they poster above about what a relationship can look like. There are all kinds of connections that can be maintained beyond sex.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
37 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

Did someone say… POLY

Ooop - I summoned the pickle

If you say Poly or Black my dick tingles. "

TMI, Pickle

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
37 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Honestly, no idea. It's a moot point as I'm married and not looking to date. If I was to find myself single, though, I wouldn't know where to start, dating wise.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
37 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"If I would have sex with them, I’d date them. I know sex doesn’t have to be something deep but I truly believe that I enjoy sex with people I connect with and get on with the most. And I’m trying to be more intentional. So anyone that I’d let touch me intimately is worthy of being dated. "

I had to scroll up to find up who posted this. Because it sums me up exactly even though I'm married. I've tried the hedonism with randoms and although it was fun it doesn't really suit me.

J

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
37 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Like Pickles, I only fuck people I’d want to date. And I’d only date people I want to fuck.

Since I’m married I don’t date anyone. But I’m only going to have casual sex with people I *would* date. If that makes sense. And it does to me."

This makes perfect sense to me. I'm the same.

J

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
37 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I'm a relationship anarchist, so fuckable vs dateable doesn't really matter to me, nor whether people think that of me. I'm interested in creating connections with people that fit for us both, and open to whatever that becomes organically without any preset expectations.

That might mean an hour together in a club and never again, it might mean friends who fuck, it might mean dating, and any other permutation you can think of. I also like to keep things fluid and stay open to allowing a connection to fluctuate between different states as time/circumtances/desires influence.

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By *agnar73Man
37 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Honestly, no idea. It's a moot point as I'm married and not looking to date. If I was to find myself single, though, I wouldn't know where to start, dating wise.

Mrs TMN x"

A changed world from first time around and apps are pretty much the thing.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
37 weeks ago

Leeds

Yeah I’m definitely more fuckable than datable, my cocks half decent and I know how to use it, but you wouldn’t want me as your boyfriend

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By *oldyoudown41Man
37 weeks ago

caledonian

Im definitely not Dateable

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"I'm a relationship anarchist, so fuckable vs dateable doesn't really matter to me, nor whether people think that of me."

‘Relationship anarchist’ is a BRILLIANT phrase! I love that. You’ve made me fancy meeting you with just two words. Amazing work.

I think I might be more of a relationship socialist. I’m gonna ponder that one.

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By *ornucopiaMan
37 weeks ago

Bexley

"I'm a relationship anarchist, so fuckable vs dateable doesn't really matter to me, nor whether people think that of me.

‘Relationship anarchist’ is a BRILLIANT phrase! I love that. You’ve made me fancy meeting you with just two words. Amazing work.

I think I might be more of a relationship socialist. I’m gonna ponder that one."

Not sure I'd want to meet a relationship Tory!

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By *electableicecreamMan
37 weeks ago

The West

The Short Manifesto on Relationship Anarchy is a good read. I'd say it resonates more for me than most other approaches to ENM

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
37 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Not sure I'd want to meet a relationship Tory!"

Also known as golddiggers.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

The last proper relationship I had sent me to a psych ward and I was crazy for 6 months so I think I’m fuckable and definitely not dateable!

But some people want to date me - they just don’t realise how easily stressed out I am and how I only really like people in small doses… maybe I am dateable but not relationshipable…

I tend to give too much in relationships BUT that said - I have a couple of relationships (I’m poly) and they are INCREDIBLY good at holding boundaries for me so that I don’t give too much and we see each other physically hardly ever. So that’s good and works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I'm a relationship anarchist, so fuckable vs dateable doesn't really matter to me, nor whether people think that of me. I'm interested in creating connections with people that fit for us both, and open to whatever that becomes organically without any preset expectations.

That might mean an hour together in a club and never again, it might mean friends who fuck, it might mean dating, and any other permutation you can think of. I also like to keep things fluid and stay open to allowing a connection to fluctuate between different states as time/circumtances/desires influence. "

I’ve not heard of this before - but I like it! Sounds like me too! I shall be stealing this terminology thank you hehe

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By *urvy ClarissaWoman
37 weeks ago

wigan

I know exactly where you’re coming from.

I find on here that women raise their standards just for sex because if there’s less of an emotional connection you really need to be physically attracted.

Men on the other hand (not all I’m sure but in my observation) will meet women from here for sex that they’d not go near for a possible relationship!

Bit of a shitty situation and probably why I rarely bother with either! X

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

This! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

Did someone say… POLY

Ooop - I summoned the pickle

If you say Poly or Black my dick tingles.

TMI, Pickle

"

You think about my dick a lot for someone that doesn’t want it

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"If I would have sex with them, I’d date them. I know sex doesn’t have to be something deep but I truly believe that I enjoy sex with people I connect with and get on with the most. And I’m trying to be more intentional. So anyone that I’d let touch me intimately is worthy of being dated.

I had to scroll up to find up who posted this. Because it sums me up exactly even though I'm married. I've tried the hedonism with randoms and although it was fun it doesn't really suit me.

J"

Look at us

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I’ve made my peace a long time ago that the majority of people here who are interested in me would never want anything more than sex but that’s okay, that’s pretty much all I’m looking for too.

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By *eliWoman
37 weeks ago

.

I had a couple of months where I genuinely believed I was undateable. Good for a fuck but not worth more. It was definitely down to my insecurities and events at the time triggering them.

Then I started rediscovering confidence. Doing things that reminded me of my worth. Finding happiness in myself.

Started saying yes again to things, not shying away from how I naturally am. Caring unashamedly again.

As for myself? Right now, I don't worry about if I'm fuckable or dateable. I did once. I think I've found a deeper level of peace within myself.

I'm enjoying connecting with people and seeing whatever unfolds organically. Embracing being poly and slutty and those friendships that challenge and light me up.

Maelstroms, dates, socials, dalliances. However I'm spending time with them.

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By *eliWoman
37 weeks ago

.

Oh yes and I'd date those I'd fuck. Differing levels of intensity and frequency though.

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By *cLovin2Man
37 weeks ago

Reading

"

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

Its the old stigma of sowing your oats, but finding a 'good/nice /inexperienced' girl to settle down with

In reality i think its mens ego's that can't cope knowing she may have had better sex /bigger dick in her past etc

Whereas women i think are generally more looking for that genuine interest +connection, vs 'what went before them'

But as a society we still have a repressed attitude to sex"

That's true of a lot of insecure men.

But not all of us. I'm mature enough to know we all have a history, what matters is the here & now, when you have chemistry with someone and you have a great time together. Does it matter that she's had more lovers than you or had bigger cocks?

Why not just cherish what you have?

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By *layfullsamMan
37 weeks ago

Solihull

I’m unfuckadateable

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By *cLovin2Man
37 weeks ago

Reading

"I’m not dateable. I’m far too much hard work. I live inside my brain & it’s an exhausting place.

Is that not because you're married?

The 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

I can see how it could be a barrier to someone wanting to date though

I’d only want to date someone truly poly anyway. In which case that wouldn’t be a barrier. In fact, it’s a rather good filter.

Did someone say… POLY

Ooop - I summoned the pickle

If you say Poly or Black my spidey senses tingle. "

Or pickle

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
37 weeks ago

Stoke

Think our username is perfect for this thread haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I'm both undateable & unfuckable to some, & possibly have a fuckable body to others. Do I care, no.

I do care about choosing to spend time/energy on people who I rate as a decent human, whether I'd be open to being mates with them, having sex with them or dating them.

I choose to only expose myself to people who authentic, honest, passionate about what matters to them, accountable for their behaviour & capable of direct communication. We all have baggage over a certain age, may want different things from different people, but that's the starting point for me, irrespective of what follows.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Don’t think I’m either, most people have a type I have found and when messaging I have always had the “not for us” response.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

If I was betting on it, I think all the people I've met here, wouldn't date me, apart from the 1 that did. And I'm ok with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I think “fuckable but not dateable” describes me to a T

but that’s probably cos of where my head is at these days

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I think I'd be considered more datable than fuckable.

This suits me though as i enjoy the softer side of dating, kissing, cuddling, caressing, sucking licking, touching, talking etc. rather than the actual hard side of sex ie penetration.

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By *ellhungvweMan
37 weeks ago

Cheltenham

There seems to be this mindset on the forums at the moment that either you are an NSA person or you are looking for true love. We all know life isn’t that binary.

I don’t want to date anyone as I am not looking for a long term relationship. That doesn’t however mean that the people I meet are just there for physical pleasure - it is good to get to know people and find out a little about them. Will we become friends? With some I will. However I think every one I meet and we get to do the fab dance with is friendly.

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By *alcon77Man
37 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

I declare that I'm both.

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
37 weeks ago

Hell

I am indeed the definition of fuckable but not dateable it seems

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By *parkle1974Woman
37 weeks ago

Leeds

It would seem I'm definitely more fuckable than dateable x

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By *heGateKeeperMan
37 weeks ago

Stratford

I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

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By *rill PhilMan
37 weeks ago

Crediton

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that I'm neither but, I'm becoming ok with that. Or at least, I'm trying to.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
37 weeks ago

Stratford

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

"

FML. Dateable*

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I know I’m mostly undateable / regular relationship type, but I seem to be fuckable. It bothered me at first but not anymore

It shouldn't bother me but it does. What is wrong with that I'm only good for sex."

You are not in the "possible target for domestication" category. It's fine. You are fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

FML. Dateable*

"

Change your name to BBCOmar and see how you go

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
37 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

FML. Dateable*

"

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By *heGateKeeperMan
37 weeks ago

Stratford

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

FML. Dateable*

Change your name to BBCOmar and see how you go "

The most blatant breach of the Trade Descriptions Act ever

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I’m sure it’s more complicated but girls who are dateable are also fuckable but Not all girls who are fuckable are dateable.

And I’m sure this is exactly the same in reverse,

On a dating site sadly some probably pretend a girl is dateable just to get sex (that’s the sad side)"

And that’s why I prefer Fab to Tinder!! On there guys pretend they want to date when they just want sex. On here you know what people are looking for - and so if more happens my view is it’s more likely to be ‘real’!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
37 weeks ago

Stratford

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

FML. Dateable*

"

Bro, Burnley?

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By *hat.coupleCouple
37 weeks ago

Dartford

"I'm piggybacking on someone else's thread again but it got me thinking about this question. Is this a thing?

Do you see yourself or others in that way?

Can you be both if the foundation starts with sex only?

Over the years I've read lots of people saying this about people on fab. That they wouldn't date someone they met here. Why is that?

There's no right or wrong in any of this.

I definitely think I'm more fuckabke than I am dateable, purely because that's what my experiences have been, but equally it's all I've probably allowed when I look back at my choices.

I also do terribly on dating sites but pretty well on here!

So is it a thing or just an insecurity? "

I think those that are fuckable but not dateable are probably being too selective when looking for a partner or they have unreal expectations of their ideal partner. This is from personal experience of course

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
37 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"I’m sure it’s more complicated but girls who are dateable are also fuckable but Not all girls who are fuckable are dateable.

And I’m sure this is exactly the same in reverse,

On a dating site sadly some probably pretend a girl is dateable just to get sex (that’s the sad side)

And that’s why I prefer Fab to Tinder!! On there guys pretend they want to date when they just want sex. On here you know what people are looking for - and so if more happens my view is it’s more likely to be ‘real’!"

This exactly, men on dating sites will say anything to fuck you. If only they knew they don’t have to break my heart to get me to put out

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

"I think I’m more rateable than fuckable

FML. Dateable*

Change your name to BBCOmar and see how you go

The most blatant breach of the Trade Descriptions Act ever

"

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By *essaMayWoman
37 weeks ago

Fairytale Wood

Pretty much guys come to the site to find knot-hole to stick their dicks. And don't care tree just the knot-hole.

Young guys join the site to try and get a shag, they not going to want to introduce you to their mates unless they all get a go. Definitely won't want to be seen out or meet the parents.

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By *cLovin2Man
37 weeks ago

Reading

"Pretty much guys come to the site to find knot-hole to stick their dicks. And don't care tree just the knot-hole.

Young guys join the site to try and get a shag, they not going to want to introduce you to their mates unless they all get a go. Definitely won't want to be seen out or meet the parents.

"

I don't know, I think I could date a nice girl from fab long term, it would be more interesting and exciting than dating a girl who is into vanilla sex and just wants kids and a family like you get on match or something. I do prefer open minded people.

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