FabSwingers.com forum: Shit Movies

By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Do you ever feel like watching something that you know before it starts will be absolute crap?

Just for the sake of it or because you can't be arsed scrolling Netlix/Prime to find something good, or you've already watched everything even vaguely passable as quality entertainment?

Just started 'Occupation' and fuck me....Temuera Morrison must have had a big tax bill or something to consider starring in this......

Any suggestions for something equally shit to watch next?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
38 weeks ago

barnstaple

The revenant, boring and, I wanted him to meet his maker quite soon

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
38 weeks ago

Southampton

Saltburn... absolute pile of shite

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By *ostindreamsMan
38 weeks ago

London

Baghead. Given the ratings, I knew it was going to be terrible. Stayed up to my expectations.

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By *eavilMan
38 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Anything starring Chuck Norris, Jean Claude van Damme, Steven Segal or John Cusack.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
38 weeks ago

Ant Man and the Wasp Quantumania

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By *ysticmykeyMan
38 weeks ago

Sheffield

Ghost Shark was dire, but I go to the end.

I did not get to the end of Zombeavers.

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By *tylebender03Man
38 weeks ago

Manchester

American Ninja 1-4

Kick-boxer 4

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
38 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Ant Man and the Wasp Quantumania"

Except I would crawl across broken glass just to stick match sticks in Evangeline Lily's poo.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Leave The World Behind, movie on netflix with Ethan Hawke and Julia Roberts. Over two and a half hours of life sucking shittery!! I was actually very angry when it finished, i kept giving it an extra 20 mins and something will start, 20 minutes and it will get going,any time now... THE END!!!

FML

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
38 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

National Treasure

Sharknado

And an old film I watched about a serial killing tree stump...that was so crap it was good, like 'yeah tree stump! Go get 'em' and the tree stump was like a growly stompy little log of a thing with branches sticking out of it wobbling along on it's murderous journey

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By *heelz69Man
38 weeks ago

Manchester

Halloween 3, and the worst film ever has got to be muscle

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By *yreGuy99Man
38 weeks ago

Somewhere in Moria

Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
38 weeks ago

Southampton

"National Treasure

Sharknado

Kinda like a mental Groot ??

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
38 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"National Treasure

Sharknado

Kinda like a mental Groot ??

Yeah kind of, Groot's stumpy great granddad I guess with no CGI

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By *ea monkeyMan
38 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

It all depends on what you’re in the mood for, I’ve seen some awful films that were just bad. The kind that loop all the way back around are pretty special though.

Give us a genre to narrow it down maybe?

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By *aizyWoman
38 weeks ago

west midlands

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre."

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
38 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required! "

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee

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By *aizyWoman
38 weeks ago

west midlands

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee"

I haven't seen the second one yet, I think they are making a third one aren't they? Sure I saw that somewhere!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
38 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee

I haven't seen the second one yet, I think they are making a third one aren't they? Sure I saw that somewhere!"

Possibly THE worst film I have ever seen. And I had to watch the English Patient (in a cinema on a first date to impress)

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Nearly every Jason statham movie like the only one I can watch is snatch because he plays a character that isn’t some sort of tough guy that just goes around beating people up for the entire movie

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By *cLovin2Man
38 weeks ago

Reading

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee

I haven't seen the second one yet, I think they are making a third one aren't they? Sure I saw that somewhere!

Possibly THE worst film I have ever seen. And I had to watch the English Patient (in a cinema on a first date to impress)"

Worst film I ever saw on cinema was demolition man with sly Stallone and Wesley snipes, so terrible it was I stopped going to the cinema for years afterwards in protest, I paid you good money for this crap?

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By *cLovin2Man
38 weeks ago

Reading

"Nearly every Jason statham movie like the only one I can watch is snatch because he plays a character that isn’t some sort of tough guy that just goes around beating people up for the entire movie "

The first transporter film was ok, but after that pretty much Steven seagal level crap

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By *icknmix500Man
38 weeks ago

South Gloucestershire

"Anything starring Chuck Norris, Jean Claude van Damme, Steven Segal or John Cusack."

So true !!

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By *bi Haive OP Man
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"It all depends on what you’re in the mood for, I’ve seen some awful films that were just bad. The kind that loop all the way back around are pretty special though.

Give us a genre to narrow it down maybe? "

Tbh....anything.

But after that one, that just got progressively shitter and shitter the longer it went on (thanks god it's now over), I've opted for 'The Mother'.

Because even if it's stereotypically bad - it has J Lo.

And she has a nice arse.......

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By *cLovin2Man
38 weeks ago

Reading

"It all depends on what you’re in the mood for, I’ve seen some awful films that were just bad. The kind that loop all the way back around are pretty special though.

Give us a genre to narrow it down maybe?

Tbh....anything.

But after that one, that just got progressively shitter and shitter the longer it went on (thanks god it's now over), I've opted for 'The Mother'.

Because even if it's stereotypically bad - it has J Lo.

And she has a nice arse.......

I saw that film the other day, not great but like you said, it's got j lo in it. You could stick her in a barn sack and guys like me would pay money just to see her sitting there.

She's over 50, still hot as hell

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By *irthandgirthMan
38 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Vivarium. It would have been an OK 15 min arty short movie, but Holy fuckballs it was painful.

I would rather staple my scrotum to a table and rub my eyeballs with a salt and lime juice solution while kicking my little toe against a table leg made of razor wire than watch that again.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
38 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Monsturd; A shitty (but very fun) film about a serial killer who is transformed into a shit monster (no, really - literally a shit monster!)

The film thankfully, doesn’t take itself remotely seriously and is quite a hoot if you’re in the right frame of mind (or else possibly inebriated).

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Have you seen Spy? Watch the uncut version though...oh and Jason Statham takes the piss out of his tough guy characters in the film

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee"

Totally agree

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By *ily WhiteWoman
38 weeks ago

La La Land...it lasted less than a minute before I switched it off.

Dark Crimes. I dont even know why I started watching it because I can't stand Jim Carrey, I suppose I figured that he wouldn't be doing his fucking irritating face-pulling in a serious film. He wasn't, but I've seen more intriguing storylines on bog roll packets than there was in that film.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee

I haven't seen the second one yet, I think they are making a third one aren't they? Sure I saw that somewhere!

Possibly THE worst film I have ever seen. And I had to watch the English Patient (in a cinema on a first date to impress)

Oh no, I love that film

though I didn't see it at the cinema.

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By *he KinkysCouple
38 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Open water, so disappointing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Noah

Nearly put us to sleep in the cinema.

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By *olfandtazCouple
38 weeks ago

Bristol

Killer klowns from outer space, an 80s horror that is so bad, so tacky it's actually funny and good

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Killer klowns from outer space, an 80s horror that is so bad, so tacky it's actually funny and good "

Is that the one where they hang their victims in floss cocoons?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Central

Magnolia - it may just have been me, on the day. But hours of my life wasted

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Last night I watched The Underdoggs starring snoop dogg. There’s no amount of drxgs that would make that film good.

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By *ea monkeyMan
38 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"It all depends on what you’re in the mood for, I’ve seen some awful films that were just bad. The kind that loop all the way back around are pretty special though.

Give us a genre to narrow it down maybe?

Tbh....anything.

But after that one, that just got progressively shitter and shitter the longer it went on (thanks god it's now over), I've opted for 'The Mother'.

Because even if it's stereotypically bad - it has J Lo.

And she has a nice arse.......

Any of the Tremors films are pure schlocky gold, the first is a classic but 2 onwards are pure shadenfreude gold. The old school Godzilla films are gloriously awful too

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By *ty31Man
38 weeks ago

NW London

[Removed by poster at 05/03/24 23:00:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 05/03/24 23:01:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Bring it on eaas bang on..cast was perfect

As for bring it on again, bring it on aall or nothing...shite even though I have the dads lol

I believe there are a couple of other bring it on fils including a slasher/horror one...not seen those and don't think I could sit through them anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Bring it on was bang on..cast was perfect

As for bring it on again, bring it on aall or nothing...shite even though I have the dvds lol

I believe there are a couple of other bring it on fils including a slasher/horror one...not seen those and don't think I could sit through them anymore

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
38 weeks ago

Wirral.

Ghost. I'm still furious I wasted money/time seeing it at the cinema.

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By *ild_oatsMan
38 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

The Postman

Nothing more than Kevin Costner self indulgent rubbish and 3 hours of your life that you will never get back….

So bad even won worst actor, worst director, worst picture, worst screenplay and worst original song awards….

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"La La Land...it lasted less than a minute before I switched it off.

Dark crimes, totally agree. I couldn't finish it. Shitty gray cloud of a film

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By *ust MikeMan
38 weeks ago

Yaxley

Magnolia - never managed to get past the first 15 mins without falling asleep

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By *aizyWoman
38 weeks ago

west midlands

"Killer klowns from outer space, an 80s horror that is so bad, so tacky it's actually funny and good "

That is one of my all time favourite films!!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Horsham

Torque

Biker boys

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By *enSiskoMan
38 weeks ago

Cestus 3

Saltburn I watched the first 5 minutes and then watched paint dry much more exciting.

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By *omRachCouple
38 weeks ago

Wirral

I recently watched a pile of durge called 'The Bad Shepherd'.

It does have a bit of a twist at the end though.

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By *eekySweetheartWoman
38 weeks ago

Hampshire

Napoleon Dynamite

More recently- Poor Things.

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By *olden PoleMan
38 weeks ago

Kent

Human Centipede…..who ever thought that up needs to be shot with a ball of their own shit!

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By *illynillyCouple
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire

First time we watched glass onion I thought it was shit, watched it again the other night and loved it...definitely mood dependant

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By *onameyet2Man
38 weeks ago

chorley

"National Treasure

Sharknado

Surely not

I’m actually laughing out loud at this

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By *onameyet2Man
38 weeks ago

chorley

"Rubber. It has to be the one of the worst movies in history. A killer tyre.

I erm, quite liked that film, I thought it was funny!

The Meg, OP. One of those films where you can totally switch off, absolutely no thinking required!

I loved the Meg. The second one was complete dog toffee

I haven't seen the second one yet, I think they are making a third one aren't they? Sure I saw that somewhere!"

Aren’t they making the SMEG it’s about a big smelly killer cock?

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By *onameyet2Man
38 weeks ago

chorley

Bob bloody Marley, dope smoking mysoginist who died because he was too soft to have his toe amputated, utter bollocks

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
38 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Bob bloody Marley, dope smoking mysoginist who died because he was too soft to have his toe amputated, utter bollocks"

Jesus.. spoiler alert. Was going to watch that.

I haven't see Titanic yet and watching that tonight..FFS don't give me your opinion on that or you'll give the plot away.

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By *onameyet2Man
38 weeks ago

chorley

It sunk

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By *umalotagainMan
38 weeks ago

a town called malice

"Saltburn... absolute pile of shite"

Thanks

you saved me the effort

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
38 weeks ago

Southampton

"Saltburn... absolute pile of shite

Thanks

you saved me the effort "

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
38 weeks ago

London or Bedford

As a movie buff & former Film Studies student...

Las Vegas Bloodbath(1989)

Is the worst movie humanity has ever made.

The movies I used to make when I was 8, with my friends & my Dads camcorder were better

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By *illynillyCouple
38 weeks ago

Wiltshire

"Saltburn... absolute pile of shite

Thanks

you saved me the effort

I loved Saltburn... strange but really good

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By *ie n MashCouple
38 weeks ago

Back in Malice

Eyes Wide Shut. Even seeing Nicole Kidmanhave a pee could not save this from being the worst cinematic experience of my life. 25 years on I have still not forgiven my Wife for dragging me to see it.

Kubrick had Clockwork Orange banned because of the copycat violence that followed. I have watched that numerous times and never felt any compulsion to hit anyone. Walking home from Eyes Wide Shut I was a GBH charge waiting to happen (not to my Wife, I hasten to add).

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By *zeroMan
38 weeks ago

Glasgow

Strippers v werewolves. Fair enough I wasn't expecting The Godfather levels of quality when I put it on but Robert Englund was in it. Utter trash. One of the worst films I've ever seen.

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By *educing_EmCouple
38 weeks ago

Tipperary

The lobster, what a load of bollox

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By *ruceyyMan
38 weeks ago

London

I always give up on shit movies early on so can't guarantee they are actual shit.

Super Mario Movie was one recently I had to turn off?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
38 weeks ago

in Lancashire

"The Postman

Nothing more than Kevin Costner self indulgent rubbish and 3 hours of your life that you will never get back….

So bad even won worst actor, worst director, worst picture, worst screenplay and worst original song awards…."

Worse than Waterworld?

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By *zeroMan
38 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Napoleon Dynamite

More recently- Poor Things."

Oh thank God I thought I was the only person who hated Napoleon Dynamite. Overly quirky shite.

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By *ild_oatsMan
38 weeks ago

the land of saints & sinners

"The Postman

Nothing more than Kevin Costner self indulgent rubbish and 3 hours of your life that you will never get back….

So bad even won worst actor, worst director, worst picture, worst screenplay and worst original song awards….

Worse than Waterworld?

Waterworld does not even come close to how bad The Postman is….

Films like Sharknando, Strippers versus Werewolves etc… you know are going to be bad but when someone produces something that is no more that pretentious, self indulgent ego trip that’s a whole new level of bad….

That’s what The Postman is…..

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"The Postman

Nothing more than Kevin Costner self indulgent rubbish and 3 hours of your life that you will never get back….

So bad even won worst actor, worst director, worst picture, worst screenplay and worst original song awards….

Worse than Waterworld?

I came here to type Waterworld! Borrowed it on VHS from Blockbuster - what an absolute waste of a Friday night that was

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
38 weeks ago

manchester

Thin read line

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