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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs " Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’ | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’" Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers  | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’ Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers "Hates gin and tonic | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs " Overnight, her nipples suddenly upgraded to Orgasmotron Mk IV status. The wild shaking is ecstasy, but the cold, wet puddle of happiness.....not so much  . | |||
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"Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers "Convinced the night is young until they’ve had a 22nd Gin and tonic?! | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’ Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers
Hates gin and tonic "Is actually from norfolk | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’ Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers
Hates gin and tonic "Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk | |||
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"Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk "Has spent the year constructing the world's coldest ice cube | |||
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"Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk
Has spent the year constructing the world's coldest ice cube"Really wanted to be called Mr Butternut Squash but that user name was taken  | |||
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"Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk
Has spent the year constructing the world's coldest ice cube
Really wanted to be called Mr Butternut Squash but that user name was taken "Has bear paws for hands | |||
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"Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk
Has spent the year constructing the world's coldest ice cube
Really wanted to be called Mr Butternut Squash but that user name was taken
Has bear paws for hands "She's actually a spy | |||
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"Doesn't haveca beard and actually lives in Norfolk
Has spent the year constructing the world's coldest ice cube
Really wanted to be called Mr Butternut Squash but that user name was taken
Has bear paws for hands
She's actually a spy"Yes this is my man disguise | |||
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"They own a successful cucumber farm catering exclusively to the swinging and kink community. They’ve also been trialing carrots too but can’t get enough of them to grow that have two carrots growing from one end…" Everything they touch turns into skittles | |||
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"They own a successful cucumber farm catering exclusively to the swinging and kink community. They’ve also been trialing carrots too but can’t get enough of them to grow that have two carrots growing from one end… Everything they touch turns into skittles" | |||
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"Can only be seen in a mirror, is otherwise invisible " Got kicked out of the swimming pool for having an erection | |||
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"Can only be seen in a mirror, is otherwise invisible Got kicked out of the swimming pool for having an erection " Was runner up at Pop Idol with his Bon Jovi cover | |||
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"Was runner up at Pop Idol with his Bon Jovi cover "Prefers short, serious, bald men. Hates porridge, loves ewoks. Gbat | |||
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"Was a 1980's porn star in German movies " Was Fonzie's double in Happy Days  | |||
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"Was a 1980's porn star in German movies Was Fonzie's double in Happy Days "Once sent her dildo collection to the Ashmoleum Museum for an expert valuation | |||
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"Was a 1980's porn star in German movies Was Fonzie's double in Happy Days
Once sent her dildo collection to the Ashmoleum Museum for an expert valuation"Cycled to Land's End without a saddle on and loved every minute, electing for the cobbled roads everytime. | |||
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"Was a 1980's porn star in German movies Was Fonzie's double in Happy Days
Once sent her dildo collection to the Ashmoleum Museum for an expert valuation
Cycled to Land's End without a saddle on and loved every minute, electing for the cobbled roads everytime."Has equipment for Asparagus measuring and assessment, one of only four in the UK qualified | |||
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"Was a 1980's porn star in German movies Was Fonzie's double in Happy Days
Once sent her dildo collection to the Ashmoleum Museum for an expert valuation
Cycled to Land's End without a saddle on and loved every minute, electing for the cobbled roads everytime.
Has equipment for Asparagus measuring and assessment, one of only four in the UK qualified "Has a pet name for each of his chest hairs | |||
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"Caries his balls in a samsonite fannypack." Is completely obsessed with soft whip iceceam, but developing it in black has been a nightmare. Perfecting the dye without it turning green, and looking like mouldy cheese made his business plan tank, and he had to do a lookalike job as Johnny Depp to fund more research! | |||
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"Caries his balls in a samsonite fannypack. Is completely obsessed with soft whip iceceam, but developing it in black has been a nightmare. Perfecting the dye without it turning green, and looking like mouldy cheese made his business plan tank, and he had to do a lookalike job as Johnny Depp to fund more research!" Her surname is Tickles | |||
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"Spent over £10,000 on an onion ring at the jewellers." Actually prefers carrots over sprouts | |||
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"Spent over £10,000 on an onion ring at the jewellers. Actually prefers carrots over sprouts" Has dedicated her mum's attic to a truly prodigious collection of Wombles merchandise. | |||
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"Has a guiness world record for cleaning the most dishes in 2 minutes " Considering a BBL | |||
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"Has a guiness world record for cleaning the most dishes in 2 minutes Considering a BBL" Em keeps sending me messaged begging me to meet her. I was going to but, she's gotten so desperate for me I'm a little scared. I've heard she has a shrine to me in every room in her home and even a mini one in the boot of her car. She keeps hanging around outside my house waiting for me. I also believe she has my face and real name tattooed on her partners chest so she can look at me while he has sex with her. Its a bit frightening. | |||
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"Has a guiness world record for cleaning the most dishes in 2 minutes Considering a BBL Em keeps sending me messaged begging me to meet her. I was going to but, she's gotten so desperate for me I'm a little scared. I've heard she has a shrine to me in every room in her home and even a mini one in the boot of her car. She keeps hanging around outside my house waiting for me. I also believe she has my face and real name tattooed on her partners chest so she can look at me while he has sex with her. Its a bit frightening. " You were supposed to make something up jeez  | |||
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"Has a guiness world record for cleaning the most dishes in 2 minutes Considering a BBL Em keeps sending me messaged begging me to meet her. I was going to but, she's gotten so desperate for me I'm a little scared. I've heard she has a shrine to me in every room in her home and even a mini one in the boot of her car. She keeps hanging around outside my house waiting for me. I also believe she has my face and real name tattooed on her partners chest so she can look at me while he has sex with her. Its a bit frightening. You were supposed to make something up jeez "Sorry but, the truth had to come out sometime Em! It's been 4 years now! I've been very restrained in not calling the police (even after I found you in my bathroom that night!) IF you're not careful, I'll stop holding myself back and you'll find you're the one being restrained!  | |||
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"Its a long way to their home town "Actually prefers to count peas. | |||
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"Spends Thursday morning serving tea and coffee to OAP’s at the local church " Crochets Willy warmers but calls them pot handle socks | |||
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"Spends Thursday morning serving tea and coffee to OAP’s at the local church Crochets Willy warmers but calls them pot handle socks" Was born with webbed feet enabling her to swim really fast | |||
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"Spends Thursday morning serving tea and coffee to OAP’s at the local church Crochets Willy warmers but calls them pot handle socks" Been known to hang around the docks pulling ice creams out of her private parts  | |||
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"Spends Thursday morning serving tea and coffee to OAP’s at the local church Crochets Willy warmers but calls them pot handle socks Was born with webbed feet enabling her to swim really fast" I don't get called duck for nothing!   | |||
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isn’t that what happens on here anyway | |||
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"ROFL isn’t that what happens on here anyway "^^^^^ Actually King Charles’s secret fab account - fact | |||
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"Is the Bishop at our local church "Smells of strawberries, is actually quite soft and has never quacked in his life! | |||
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"Known her for years use to baby sit me … and fucked all night :p xxx" | |||
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"Known her for years use to baby sit me … and fucked all night :p xxx" Had an amazing DVP with his wife | |||
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"Known her for years use to baby sit me … and fucked all night :p xxx ":p xxxx love her she’s amazing | |||
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"Known her for years use to baby sit me … and fucked all night :p xxx "She's made all those pics if our gangbang private again | |||
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"Eats cream cakes all day "That’s actually true! | |||
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"Sleeps standing up. " Bonobos come to them for advice. | |||
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"Sleeps standing up. Bonobos come to them for advice." Once auditioned to be a body double on naked attraction | |||
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"Sent to prison in 1972 for a crime they didn’t commit, promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground, they survive today as a soldier of fortune. " He ain't gettin on no plane * Gives a glass of milk | |||
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"Sent to prison in 1972 for a crime they didn’t commit, promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground, they survive today as a soldier of fortune. He ain't gettin on no plane * Gives a glass of milk" Crazy fool! | |||
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"Shes a secret lemonade drinker "Woke me up by weeing on me  | |||
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"He loves smash "Had to increase his home security after the 18th Pornhub porn star in succession declared her undying passion for him. | |||
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"Has only been to the toilet once in the last 17 years. " His balls have blue eyes.....true story | |||
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became great friends | |||
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"Mrs is allergic to limo, little known fact" They’re that couple they are. | |||
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"Mrs is allergic to limo, little known fact" Lino not limo, but she maybe allergic to limos too. I haven't checked | |||
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"Lost a finger in a fight with a seagull over chips. The mr " It was a pigeon but, close. | |||
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"Mrs is allergic to limo, little known fact They’re that couple they are. " We certainly are! How did you find out? | |||
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"Mrs is allergic to limo, little known fact They’re that couple they are. We certainly are! How did you find out?" They post their status updates on the House of Commons daily update bulletins. | |||
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"Mrs is allergic to limo, little known fact They’re that couple they are. We certainly are! How did you find out? They post their status updates on the House of Commons daily update bulletins. " Damn! I'll have to stop doing that | |||
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"Eats cream cakes all day
That’s actually true! "your looking good on it | |||
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"Was a mermaid in his past life" Stop reading my LinkedIn profile. | |||
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"Can do a triple backflip from a seated position." His comedy stage name is Phil Brill. | |||
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"Can do a triple backflip from a seated position. His comedy stage name is Phil Brill. " Could be a bikeshed lurker from his school days haha, Mrs x | |||
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"Can do a triple backflip from a seated position. His comedy stage name is Phil Brill. " It's actually Hugh Floppycock. | |||
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"Tattle tales on poor innocent women " Has three times the staying power of the average nymphomaniac. | |||
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"Ryan Renolds’s stunt double " Is the chief manufacturer of sky hooks | |||
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"Attends church every Sunday, and always judges the best grown cucumber at the village fayre!" Likes to watch re runs of dads army in his briefs on a Thursday | |||
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"Attends church every Sunday, and always judges the best grown cucumber at the village fayre! Likes to watch re runs of dads army in his briefs on a Thursday " Watches iron man on reruns and comments on how sexy he looks in the suit | |||
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"Likes to keeps his hands warm by putting them in his pants "I’ll take it haha | |||
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"Doesn't own any tops " | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face." Is about to be sued for libel by sparkle | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face." Sparklers are for amateurs | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs "Felched Gove | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs "Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft "Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays "I call her spot | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays "Goes swimming in his bath. 100 lengths to the taps and back | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays
Goes swimming in his bath. 100 lengths to the taps and back "Hates balls/scrotums and sacs | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays
Goes swimming in his bath. 100 lengths to the taps and back
Hates balls/scrotums and sacs"Blasphemy!!!!! | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays
Goes swimming in his bath. 100 lengths to the taps and back
Hates balls/scrotums and sacs
Blasphemy!!!!!"Has a passion for nuclear power! J | |||
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"Her fab name comes from her propensity for wearing lit sparklers up her bumhole while being rogered in the face. Sparklers are for amateurs
Secretly indulges on beans and toast calls it skin heads on a raft
Rides his cow to the pub on Sundays
Goes swimming in his bath. 100 lengths to the taps and back
Hates balls/scrotums and sacs
Blasphemy!!!!!
Has a passion for nuclear power!
J"
I’m borderline expert in this field | |||
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"Is NOT just a bunch of squirrels in a trench coat" Was rejected as the next James Bond for being too hench… | |||
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"Is actually Frank Beans" Likes her meet and 1 veg! | |||
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"Tired a Mike drop. Then realised there was no-one to post." Owns an extensive collection of pickled bums. | |||
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"Is actually Frank Beans Likes her meet and 1 veg!" Consistently fails to understand the offside rule... and prefers American Football anyway. | |||
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"Has a rainbow coloured unicorm shouting blue tacos" Secretly prefers Blur... | |||
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"Likes looking through letterboxes " Keeps his trimmed pubes and stuffs cushions with them | |||
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"Likes looking through letterboxes Keeps his trimmed pubes and stuffs cushions with them " Thought a toaster was a bath bomb... | |||
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"Likes looking through letterboxes Keeps his trimmed pubes and stuffs cushions with them " Got fired from Abercrombie & Fitch as a door topless model cause they couldn’t handle the crowd | |||
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"Played bass with a prog rock band at Uni" Keeps the underpants of all her previous meets and has seen them into a duvet cover | |||
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"Played bass with a prog rock band at Uni Keeps the underpants of all her previous meets and has seen them into a duvet cover " *sewn | |||
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"Played bass with a prog rock band at Uni Keeps the underpants of all her previous meets and has seen them into a duvet cover *sewn "In a similar vein... He keeps all his dead hair...for making up underwear | |||
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"Steals fruit from the supermarket to put down his pants. Mrs Wanted in 7 counties for ‘groom theft’ Has a secret obsession for giant Jammie dodgers
Hates gin and tonic "hahaha that’s good | |||
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"Hes a politician who doesn't bullshit "Fred lives in a world of monochrome Mr | |||
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"Hes a politician who doesn't bullshit
Fred lives in a world of monochrome
Mr "Are really Richard and Judy | |||
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"Has a pet snail called Speedy" Really likes to take recreational drugs! | |||
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"Has a pet snail called Speedy Really likes to take recreational drugs! "Is secretly in love with one of the above posters.....but who? | |||
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"Has a pet snail called Speedy Really likes to take recreational drugs! "Blimey You read my profile lol
And ..
Likes more than ice & a slice in their G&T | |||
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