FabSwingers.com forum: "Shaming", in inclusive society..

By *estarossa. OP Woman
46 weeks ago

Flagrante

Is fat shaming the last socially accepted "ism".

I didn't want to derail another thread.

I openly call myself fat. Its a word I have chosen to reclaim, and just use like any other descriptive word.

Surely, in an inclusive society, my health is just that, and not anyone else's business?

Is the word Obese a trigger word? Or just a factually descriptive word for decribing people?

Your thoughts please?

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
46 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Firstly I wouldn't say your fat. Fat to some is different to others. People can just be dicks, whatever you have or don't have or have in extra/less amounts.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I see more fat celebrating than fat shaming these days.

As for the other thread is it that people shouldn't discuss it at all? Is that what's fat shaming?

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By *hrimper36Couple
46 weeks ago

Central France dept 36

Yep I also class myself as “fat” because erm I’m fat.

I’m uneducated so I use words that I’m completely comfortable using and not words that others demand or want me to use but living in a non UK country I guess I’m lucky because I am allowed freedom of speech but I try to respect and not offend others if I can but it would be nice if I was offered the same amount of respect .

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Is fat shaming the last socially accepted "ism".

I didn't want to derail another thread.

I openly call myself fat. Its a word I have chosen to reclaim, and just use like any other descriptive word.

Surely, in an inclusive society, my health is just that, and not anyone else's business?

Is the word Obese a trigger word? Or just a factually descriptive word for decribing people?

Your thoughts please?"
Itsa word for most men with any sense to avoid

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"Is fat shaming the last socially accepted "ism".

I didn't want to derail another thread.

I openly call myself fat. Its a word I have chosen to reclaim, and just use like any other descriptive word.

Surely, in an inclusive society, my health is just that, and not anyone else's business?

Is the word Obese a trigger word? Or just a factually descriptive word for decribing people?

Your thoughts please?"

The media love the word obese.

No ones business op

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

I'm obese and that is what I am, and someone describing as such is fair according to the NHS guidelines.

But some people's attitudes about the cause of obesity is problematic and indirectly adding to fuel to the fire. It's an established fact (plenty of research articles etc) that there's "A two-way association has been identified between mental health problems and obesity,

with conditions such as depression often leading to weight gain and obesity leading to depression."

But apparently it's as easy as not putting food in your mouth, or celebs are promoting obesity. No it's not that simple and no these celebs are trying to help people's mental health regarding their size so they're in a better place to try and loose weight.

It is a massive issue, and one that needs addressing on a personal level and a national level. But I think people need to see it's a complex issue.

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By *loriouscurvesWoman
46 weeks ago

wild west lothian

So have been called fat since the age of 5 (said in an abusive not descriptive way)

So that is more of a trigger for me than obese

It’s a sensitive subject for me my weight has been up and down since I was 16.

I don’t agree with fat shaming and judgement the same way I don’t agree with misogyny or racism.

How food is presented, advertised, regulated and sold in the UK is a complex issue.

Being overweight as I am I know that I need to do something about it for health reasons rather than the way I look.

This may make me less attractive to some on here or more attractive to others that’s just the way it is.

Im confident in my skin even though I’m abused for the way I look on here. That’s their issue.

I have received lots of ‘advice’ from family over the years about how I should lose weight etc but it’s up to me to make the changes when I want to not when I get told to. I need to find that motivation.

So to me fat shaming is pointless, be kind and thoughtful and see past what you see and be curious. There can be other things going on too.

Unfortunately fab can be a very judgmental place positivity and support is a lot more helpful than judgement.

Just my thoughts I know others won’t agree I hesitated before posting but hey it’s fuck it Friday!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
46 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Somewhere someone will take offence to something that's said regardless.

Band wagon jumper's and sycophants will jump on a descriptive word is now offensive.

Have we as a society become so self absorbed that we are more concerned about names than actual atrocities happening in the world?

Society needs to give it's head a wobble and start looking at what really matters before we all disappear up our own oversized butt's.

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By *sWyldWoman
46 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Fat is no where close to the worst thing someone can be, sadly though it's become so emotive.

I look at myself and see fat, infact I can be pretty cruel to myself in the words I use when it comes to my body loathing.

However I'm so sensitive that if someone else said those things they would hurt. They wouldn't be untrue, but they would hurt more.

It's a reflection on the power of the words I guess.

Ultimately we have one life and we have to live it as best we can. Our bodies do so much for us, so I ask again, is fat really the worst thing we can be?

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By *eliWoman
46 weeks ago

I am fat. I'm also obese. I was extremely morbidly obese, I'm now obese. This year I'm hoping to get to overweight, think I can do it.

I don't think being called obese in a medical capacity is an insult. Nor do I think being called fat is.

I do think people can weaponise language to try and hurt you. Use it an insult, as a way of putting you in your place when there's nothing else they can go for. In part, that's because of the societal stigma surrounding it.

I do think sometimes people are misguided in their intent to help. In simplifying excess weight as being a transactional calories in sort of thing. It doesn't quite work like that does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

But it is transactional. If I eat less than I need, I lose weight. If I eat more, I gain weight.

My reasons for doing either are obviously more complex but ultimately it is a less or more thing.

I'm surprised people feel there's a stigma though. It's not what I see and hear for the most part.

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

"But it is transactional. If I eat less than I need, I lose weight. If I eat more, I gain weight.

My reasons for doing either are obviously more complex but ultimately it is a less or more thing.

I'm surprised people feel there's a stigma though. It's not what I see and hear for the most part."

But from what viewpoint are you looking from? And there is plenty of stigma, the underwear company I follow the other day had a plus sized model and the comment section was horrendous. You're promoting obesity etc etc, no she's promoting underwear for larger ladies to wear. And this is kind of common for larger people, and I follow slim, midsize and larger profiles. And it's the larger ladies who come for the biggest bashing online in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

'you're' not 'your'. Your grammar is terrible.

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By *ink vixenCouple
46 weeks ago

Medway

Next time you’re in the supermarket have a look around and see what the first word that comes to mind is.

Just don’t shout it out.

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

"'you're' not 'your'. Your grammar is terrible."

The majority understood what was being said. We all make mistakes because of autocorrect. No need to be the grammar police.

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By *eliWoman
46 weeks ago

"But it is transactional. If I eat less than I need, I lose weight. If I eat more, I gain weight.

My reasons for doing either are obviously more complex but ultimately it is a less or more thing.

I'm surprised people feel there's a stigma though. It's not what I see and hear for the most part."

It's really not quite as simple as that for people with a myriad of underlying conditions. There's also the mental aspect of it which seems to be forgotten.

Perhaps there's confirmation bias from both of our viewpoints.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"But from what viewpoint are you looking from? And there is plenty of stigma, the underwear company I follow the other day had a plus sized model and the comment section was horrendous. You're promoting obesity etc etc, no she's promoting underwear for larger ladies to wear. And this is kind of common for larger people, and I follow slim, midsize and larger profiles. And it's the larger ladies who come for the biggest bashing online in general. "

A viewpoint where I'm actively working on losing weight.

I think it's best not to read the comments section on almost anything online these days!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"It's really not quite as simple as that for people with a myriad of underlying conditions. There's also the mental aspect of it which seems to be forgotten.

Perhaps there's confirmation bias from both of our viewpoints.

I accept it's complex as to how or why people would choose to manage what they eat - although I wonder for how many there's a chicken or egg element to that (by which I don't mean they ate them both

)

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

A viewpoint where I'm actively working on losing weight.

I think it's best not to read the comments section on almost anything online these days!"

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

I do think it gives a good reflection on the different issues encountered by people. But as Meli mentioned above it could be confirmational bias on both our parts.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"Good luck on your weight loss journey.

I do think it gives a good reflection on the different issues encountered by people. But as Meli mentioned above it could be confirmational bias on both our parts. "

Thanks. What seems to be working at the mo is it takes me so long to input what I'm eating into the app I use that it leaves me with hardly any time to eat it!

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By *icassolifelikeMan
46 weeks ago

Luton

"Is fat shaming the last socially accepted "ism".

I didn't want to derail another thread.

I openly call myself fat. Its a word I have chosen to reclaim, and just use like any other descriptive word.

Surely, in an inclusive society, my health is just that, and not anyone else's business?

Is the word Obese a trigger word? Or just a factually descriptive word for decribing people?

Your thoughts please?"

Fat is such a strong word to use.

I prefer the term provocatively plump.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

The issue is overreprisentation and partisanship. You don't see healthy people calling for the health implications of obesity not to be called out. What's next? Teeth shaming against people that practice poor dental hygiene?

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By *icassolifelikeMan
46 weeks ago

Luton

"The issue is overreprisentation and partisanship. You don't see healthy people calling for the health implications of obesity not to be called out. What's next? Teeth shaming against people that practice poor dental hygiene?"

Absolutely! It’s totally the patients fault there’s no longer affordable dentists anymore!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
46 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

A viewpoint where I'm actively working on losing weight.

I think it's best not to read the comments section on almost anything online these days!"

You may have said this in jest but I think this is the best way for people who are very sensitive to certain things.

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

Exactly if you are going to get upset don't go in, its like watching the news why watch it if it makes you negative..... Get positivity back in your life out with negative news /stories/threads

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By *ora the explorerWoman
46 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"Exactly if you are going to get upset don't go in, its like watching the news why watch it if it makes you negative..... Get positivity back in your life out with negative news /stories/threads

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By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Exactly if you are going to get upset don't go in, its like watching the news why watch it if it makes you negative..... Get positivity back in your life out with negative news /stories/threads

Exactly. There’s lots of things I don’t do or watch because of this. I can’t watch children in need or comic relief. I just cannot watch it. It upsets me so much and affects me for days. I donate but I can’t watch the programme. "
exactly i ditched it all years ago and how positive my life has become not sure why the media do it but they do

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
46 weeks ago

Leeds

As an obese person according to my BMI I can't say it would bother me if people said about it - I faced much more hate towards my body being a skinny person that found it difficult to put on weight.

For whatever reason people think it's ok to skinny shame but not fat shame, having been on both ends I've had far less comments on my appearance since putting on a ton of weight.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

If bad teeth are celebrated, then there ought to be shaming. I'd rather opt for nothing.

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

A viewpoint where I'm actively working on losing weight.

I think it's best not to read the comments section on almost anything online these days!

You may have said this in jest but I think this is the best way for people who are very sensitive to certain things. "

I used it as an example that I saw on line. I mean I could have explained the actual in person things too, but those were a tad personal.

To be honest it's one of the main reasons I follow diverse body types, so that I can see it's not just me and my body type that get nasty comments. Though it's typically larger ladies who cop the worse comments, from what I see. Understanding people can be idiots regardless of what someone size is, is a positive thing for me at least.

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By *rill PhilMan
46 weeks ago

Crediton

There are still plenty of socially accepted "isms"

As for the idea of an 'inclusive society'... if a society is to be truly inclusive, then we must also include people we don't like, who say things we disagree with or find distasteful, and behave in ways we would prefer them not too.

I often find when people talk about inclusivity, they don't consider this, and in fact will actively say they believe people who don't share their opinion should be pushed out of society.

In order to have a free society, people must have the freedom and the right to express themselves how they see fit, and those who don't like it must have the right to disagree.

There's no way to stop people saying hurtful or triggering things because it's entirely subjective and who gets to set the rules?

I think a fully inclusive society would be a wonderful thing but, the people who tend to push the idea don't want it to be actually inclusive, they want everyone to conform to their particular standards and values.

That's not inclusive, that's a moral dictatorship.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

You may have said this in jest but I think this is the best way for people who are very sensitive to certain things. "

Oh no I meant it.

It scares me to read what goes on in so many people's heads. Even people I like (or thought I did). I mostly avoid reading it.

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By *earded BeastMan
46 weeks ago

durham

dose cost come in to it, not to sound funny but it is very expensive to live a healthy life style, pre packaged is so much cheaper than fresh from a butcher and uts not just pennies its pounds in difference, we introduced a sugar tax to try and help but then fresh fruit drinks companies put their prices up evening it back out.. the top five own near everything ,Marie, , PepsiCo, and so on so when one that's a hit as in the full fat drinks they put price up on other healthier drinks, food is the same

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By *ackformore100Man
46 weeks ago

Tin town

"Is fat shaming the last socially accepted "ism".

I didn't want to derail another thread.

I openly call myself fat. Its a word I have chosen to reclaim, and just use like any other descriptive word.

Surely, in an inclusive society, my health is just that, and not anyone else's business?

Is the word Obese a trigger word? Or just a factually descriptive word for decribing people?

Your thoughts please?"

Shaming people is a bit of a new disease. But no need to be nasty to people. Describing them as you see them is not shaming anyone. Black, white, short, tall, thin, fat, hairy, bald... And so on

.. Just adjectives. Sugar coating stuff doesn't help anyone. (pun intended)

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
46 weeks ago

Worcester

"'you're' not 'your'. Your grammar is terrible."

I’d rather have terrible grammar than a terrible attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"dose cost come in to it, not to sound funny but it is very expensive to live a healthy life style, pre packaged is so much cheaper than fresh from a butcher and uts not just pennies its pounds in difference, we introduced a sugar tax to try and help but then fresh fruit drinks companies put their prices up evening it back out.. the top five own near everything ,Marie, , PepsiCo, and so on so when one that's a hit as in the full fat drinks they put price up on other healthier drinks, food is the same "

Convenience perhaps but not cost. A healthy diet doesn't need to be expensive.

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

I don't think it is necessarily expensive, maybe more time consuming though?

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By *ife NinjaMan
46 weeks ago

Dunfermline

It's bollocks. I was speaking to my doctor this week about another matter, and I mentioned that whatever I do, I can't lose weight.

She told me not to worry. Genetics play a large part in your make up. I explained my fitness routine, food intake and how I generally keep fit, and she said I was doing everything right.

She told me she gets patients in all the time expecting to look and conform to everyone else's look/opinion.

I am fit and fat, so fuck the haters

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
46 weeks ago

Worcester

Convenience perhaps but not cost. A healthy diet doesn't need to be expensive."

Eating healthily is definitely more expensive than eating junk.

I can eat a £1 microwave meal from Iceland every night. It costs a lot more money to cook something from scratch that is healthy.

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By *ackformore100Man
46 weeks ago

Tin town

A viewpoint where I'm actively working on losing weight.

I think it's best not to read the comments section on almost anything online these days!

You may have said this in jest but I think this is the best way for people who are very sensitive to certain things. "

Down with that sort of thing

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Convenience perhaps but not cost. A healthy diet doesn't need to be expensive.

Eating healthily is definitely more expensive than eating junk.

I can eat a £1 microwave meal from Iceland every night. It costs a lot more money to cook something from scratch that is healthy."

Bag of carrots 44p

Use the other 66 pence to make your soup more interesting or buy a loaf of bread.

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By *ackformore100Man
46 weeks ago

Tin town

"There are still plenty of socially accepted "isms"

I often find when people talk about inclusivity, they don't consider this, and in fact will actively say they believe people who don't share their opinion should be pushed out of society.

In order to have a free society, people must have the freedom and the right to express themselves how they see fit, and those who don't like it must have the right to disagree.

There's no way to stop people saying hurtful or triggering things because it's entirely subjective and who gets to set the rules?

That's not inclusive, that's a moral dictatorship."

My inclusion is much more important than yours. Don't you oppress me.

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