FabSwingers.com forum: A question for couples

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’d like to know why so many couples go through the ‘unicorn’ phase when they start swinging. Looking for women for the guy to fuck In front of the femme, but they’re very different if it comes to a man joining them.

Is one penis policy an acceptable stance in swinging?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

3rd Rock from the sun

On the contrary I love seeing my husband play with another guy in a mmf scenario

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unicorn here. In my experience more couples are comfortable meeting with single men than single women.

Also, when couples do meet with a single woman it’s not at all like you describe.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

For us it’s two-fold. 1) She’s bisexual but only ever been with a man (me), so wants to explore her sexual attraction to women. She’s not into many men, if any, is put off by men in porn so tends to only watch lesbian porn, etc. And 2) she’s not comfortable or secure enough yet to see me/ share me with another woman. We’re taking baby steps and going at her pace. We’re having fun and we’re doing it together/ on the same page and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I've really not experienced much of the one penis policy in swinging (or seen it). Relationships? Yes.

As a single woman on here though, I've found that not many women want to watch their husband fuck another woman. A wife with another man? Great. A wife with another woman. Fantastic.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

My guess is because it's male led

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I think whatever works for the couple is an acceptable swinging policy for them

It's an interesting question. I think if people have only been in mf relationships it feels less risky inviting another woman in for ff play? I also know plenty of folk (including us!) whose first foray into swinging was to indulge the female's interest in other women. I wouldn't have thought of myself as a swinger at that point, we didn't have rules. Things just evolved organically.

Mrs TMN x

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 26/02/24 19:39:24]

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

As Mrs M is Bi, we looked for a unicorn for her.

If they were happy for me to be there as a voyeur, then that's a huge bonus.

I don't play with others, so that dispells your theory OP.

We each play our own way and a gentle introduction into the lifestyle may be the choice that appeals to many maybe?

Mr M

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

What do you think, OP?

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Never been through the unicorn stage and not likely too.. doesn't turn us on but mfm or mfmf very much does.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d like to know why so many couples go through the ‘unicorn’ phase when they start swinging. Looking for women for the guy to fuck In front of the femme, but they’re very different if it comes to a man joining them.

Is one penis policy an acceptable stance in swinging? "

Not for us we are the opposite. The more penis the better

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

We see this a lot and have chatted to couples in clubs who subscribe to this. No judgment as everyone is the author of their own swinging journey.

Our view is that it’s seen as a small step into swinging. The couple are happy for another F to join but not happy to share with another M. There will be many reasons, commonly we find M wants an MFF and the F would like to explore bi-side, unicorn is perfect solution. Apart from the rare nature of unicorns that is !

We’ve met a few couples like this and tend to introduce them to one another. Typically the two M’s miss out and the F’s get to explore together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t speak for everyone but for us that isn’t the case. Most of our swinging experience has been with other single men.

I also meet alone and have chatted with couples in the past where they are looking for a single woman to join. A lot of the conversations are predominantly led by the male half, which is a tad uncomfortable. The ones that aren’t, that scenario doesn’t come up a lot. It’s usually the male half wanting to take a back seat and watch type thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be 2 couples shagging if it's swinging

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.

Woman says to man "I think we should find another woman for a threesome." Man can't believe his luck that he gets to watch the porn fantasy and fuck another woman. The woman is offering something he can't already bring to the relationship.

Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Unfortunately I think this is sometimes rooted in homophobia, by people who think sex only counts if it is PIV, and that two women having sex is not real sex and therefore less of a 'threat' to the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always think it's because it's the guy wants to swing so chooses the female - he's even happier for two girls to plsy out his porn fantasy

I also think some couples (men) are less secure and 'can't cope' with the male competition?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.

Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?

Oh yes! Can you read my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting because it does seem prevalent. I think biphobia towards men and acceptance towards bi-women plays a part. In my head I'm imagining two scenarios at the start of a swinging journey.

Woman says to man "I think we should find another man for a threesome." A lot of men are going to feel very insecure here, they already have a penis, why would she want another?

J"
yes some men don't even like dildos ! Silly boys !

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By *oupleus30Couple
over a year ago

Minster

Hmm so our situation is I h have swung previously before meeting k so as k is new to it all he would feel more comfortable with just 1 other person added to us(obviously it would have to of been another female as he's straight and not sure how would feel about another man).

2.insecuritys like someone has said adding another man is threat to relationship!

3.i h come to realise I want to explore with women more.

4.we thought originally just by adding the unicorn it maybe easier to take things slower and we would all be playing together rather then k just fucking the women and me h just fucking the man.

Although we have come to conclusion we would prefer a unicorn but if right couple comes along then we would go with it.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I always think it's because it's the guy wants to swing so chooses the female - he's even happier for two girls to plsy out his porn fantasy

I also think some couples (men) are less secure and 'can't cope' with the male competition? "

See, I've always been the one driving it. Am I the odd one out? I never get it when folk say "oh it's always the man wanting to play out his porn fantasy". Not in my experience, and not with others we've met with.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

" The woman is offering something he can't already bring to the relationship."

Hmm, maybe this?

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

Not for us, why would I want to waste 5 mins disappointing 2 women

Mr H

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

[Removed by poster at 26/02/24 21:13:27]

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

For us it’s always been a free for all

Hades

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a couple but this question has so many layers to it my hole though god this could be long but here we go some magical effort in this post

So what layer will we start with

For some it could be that the woman doesn’t want to swing but the guy has been harping on for so long about it she’s just went along with it to shut him up about it maybe she’s forfilled her fantasy long ago before meeting in younger years or mid years bween relationships

For others it could be a point system whare

the woman gets her 2 guys and then she doesn’t get another till the guy gets his 3 sum

With a MFM being so easy to find maybe chosen for him to go first

Some woman maybe bi curious but not come out and maybe a way for them to watch / look at other woman without the need to out themselves as being

Watching hubby and join in play write it off as I not bi I just done it for you type thing

unicorns are hard to find

Shameless plug at the end

angels are much better

if anyone wondering a tv/ts that plays with couples

Best off both worlds you can have that MFM 3 sum and that FFM 3 sum all at the one time kill two birds with the some stone much more effective

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think some go for an extra fem because it's so many mens fantasy's to watch 2 women together.

I think it's less common for the lady to be for the man and his partner watch.

Plus some ladies don't want another man, as they're only interested in their own partners and want to explore their bi sides.

For me and my partner we look for partner swap and I wouldn't want another male, unless my partner is having fun with his partner at the same time.

Couples have their own dynamics and I've seen some women in couples who don't want a woman to play with their partners as they'd be too jealous.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I haven't had an MFF in about 15 years and even then it was when I was single.

No end of MMF's over the last decade though......

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

We jumped in at the deep end and went straight to meeting single men. I guess it's hay works for people...

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I arranged a blindfold meet with a guy for our first meet - no one penis policy here

C has also met women by herself, without any involvement by me or for me.

I want for us both to have the best times sexually and so that only happens when we are both open with each other to complete our fantasies - that’s why we are in this lifestyle.

Other couples might have different set of rules but that’s why swinging is so interesting.

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By *hisStagsVixenCouple
over a year ago

peterborough

We are not in the slightest bit interested in unicorns. It’s single men or the male half of the couple we are most interested in. Stag & vixen, my mr just watches or I go out hotwifing and he gets pics and videos sent.

Things may change in the future and evolve but it will never be unicorns we are hunting

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

If anything I wasn't sure if I wanted an mff, so we were initially looking for single males and couples. As it turned our return to fab started with an mfff. Since then we've had a mix of single men, single women and couples and we are both exploring our bi sides. The main thing with us is we both want to play, rather than one partner just watching. B

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