FabSwingers.com forum: How many messages is too many

By *a1970 OP Man
43 weeks ago

East cork

Hia.... As some people on here get quite a lot of messages... Its understandable that a message gets lost in the many messages so no reply not evan read. It's so easy to become a pest... What's an acceptable number of attempts before you stop..... Should there be a limited to how many you can send one person? I actually think there should be a limit.... 3 max, can't message for a year.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
43 weeks ago

Trowbridge

I block at 5

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By *a1970 OP Man
43 weeks ago

East cork

5 is a lot.... Is that 5 read or unread... I think 3 if read

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
43 weeks ago

Basingstoke

If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply.

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By *viatrixWoman
43 weeks ago

Redhill

"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."

This. A thousand times this.

If people are not interested they won’t reply. I’d say two attempts might be reasonable.

I tend to block at three.

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By *eroLondonMan
43 weeks ago

Mayfair

Anything between Ø and 1. I usually veer towards Ø and it's served me rather fruitfully. Never more than 1.

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
43 weeks ago

Launceston

"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."

Completely agree!

One message is enough. If you don't get a reply, don't send another message! That's called being a pest!

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By *mmaleiaWoman
43 weeks ago

Trowbridge

"5 is a lot.... Is that 5 read or unread... I think 3 if read"
if I’ve read the 1st 1 & looked at your profile, then the message hasn’t gripped me enough to reply, I stop opening them

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
43 weeks ago

Leeds

Mrs

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By *eyond PurityCouple
43 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

An interesting or intriguing profile will only need one message.

As we are a couple then it’s 50/50 chance of who will open the message first but they’ll get a reply back soon enough if the interest is there.

If it’s not then another one chasing it will likely be ignored or deleted.

Single women will get more and messages may get lost but I bet they scan their messages for something intriguing - that’s why you need to ensure first impressions count.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I think 2 is enough.

I have a habit of deleting our inbox if I’ve left it too long and there’s too many messages to open. So unless that message is at the top, it probably won’t be seen.

If your message has been opened and not replied to, then I wouldn’t send another one and assume they aren’t interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"I block at 5"

Luxury! I block at 3.

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By *iasubTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Ilkeston

1 is plenty why would i reply after 5 if i didnt the first?

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By *electableicecreamMan
43 weeks ago

The West

If I didn't get a reply I would feel ok about sending a follow up a few weeks later but I'd want to be really invested to do that.

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By *oodmessMan
43 weeks ago

yumsville

It was 1 or 2 and done for me if they went unread, not point wasting time if they're not being read. Though I don't think people understand using filters or hiding profiles even if temporarily helps. You see 'women and couples only' and 'trying to reply' status's, people bulk deleting, so it can encourage repeat mails.

A change to mailboxes with simple filters could be useful: all, friends, conversations, men, women, couples, tv/s.

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By *TG3Man
43 weeks ago

Dorchester

4 i can't keep up

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By * and R cple4Couple
43 weeks ago

swansea

We have a 1 strike rule we will send a message then if we don't get a reply back we will make a little private note on their profile just as a reminder to us not to message again..

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By *TG3Man
43 weeks ago

Dorchester

"We have a 1 strike rule we will send a message then if we don't get a reply back we will make a little private note on their profile just as a reminder to us not to message again.. "
harsh

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By *rill PhilMan
43 weeks ago

Crediton

I will/have messaged a few people multiple times but, never twice in the same month and I try to avoid re-messaging women who've read and not replied to a previous attempt.

As a result, I'm messaging fewer and fewer people!

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By *eliWoman
43 weeks ago

2 is fine. I think any more than five is far too intense and can be almost... pressure? So a person feels obligated to say no thank you.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
43 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

My record is 2. Sometimes 1, mostly nil sent.

Look when the potential recipient is on line, put some effort into the text, leave a hook then light up a pipe and watch as you get a yellow thing pop up.

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
43 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I usually block at 3.

Sometimes two, if I've deleted the first one and they send another really fast.

It would be good if the stop think message triggered a block on them being able to send yet another.

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By *lueseasWoman
43 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

If you have received no reply, it means 1 was too many already. Desist. Accept that an unanswered or unread message is indeed a response: it's a clear no.

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By *uvery30Woman
43 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

I will 9/10 times reply to them if I'm not interested. If they keep on asking ect then I just block.

A lot more men think I get wayyyy more messages then I do and think keep messaging will make them stand out. Xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Central

I may occasionally miss a 1st message, so I'd suggest a couple would be reasonable

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

1 is enough, if I’m interested I’ll reply.

A message deleted almost always means “not interested”

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By *sLittleRedRidingHoodWoman
43 weeks ago

Magical Forrest

Bit tedious when someone keeps messaging and doesn’t get the hint you aren’t interested… no message is also a message ya know

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By *agnar73Man
43 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"If you have received no reply, it means 1 was too many already. Desist. Accept that an unanswered or unread message is indeed a response: it's a clear no."

This.

I send one and if no reply that’s it.

I once sent a second and feel bad about that.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
43 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I block on their 3rd attempt. I always read and delete, so it should be pretty clear I'm not interested.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
43 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I usually block at 3.

Sometimes two, if I've deleted the first one and they send another really fast.

It would be good if the stop think message triggered a block on them being able to send yet another. "

This should definitely happen

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I’ve never been fortunate enough to receive message after message. So I’d say one or two, if I’ve not replied, after that, they should get the hint that their messages weren’t worth replying to. (Even guys get terrible DMs)

Myself, I send one and wait for a reply… and wait, … and wait.

I wont intentionally send a second one, the fact I haven’t got a reply, tells me everything I need to know.

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By *agnar73Man
43 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"We have a 1 strike rule we will send a message then if we don't get a reply back we will make a little private note on their profile just as a reminder to us not to message again.. "

I’ll leave a sent message four or five days and if no answer and unread, then add a note saying not to recontact. I’ll put note on quicker if deleted.

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By *a1970 OP Man
43 weeks ago

East cork

What I have learnt from the above is presentation is key... A nice catchy message with a well presented profile..... Because you'll get one chance.

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By *ickthehallsMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

Unless it’s forum related probably 2 max and def not in the same month maybe 3-6 months later have another crack on the off chance your first message was shit or was missed by accident. 5 is mental don’t do that

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By *ickthehallsMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 25/02/24 13:55:09]

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By *uvery30Woman
43 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

"What I have learnt from the above is presentation is key... A nice catchy message with a well presented profile..... Because you'll get one chance. "

Definitely

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By *ssexBlkMaleMan
43 weeks ago

Essex

"If your message and profile stand out, then you shouldn't need to send more than one message. A bad message will be ignored. A good message and profile will get a reply."

As a man on this forum I agree that one well worded message to a SELECT few ladies is always going to better approach than cut and paste approach to 500.

It’s a sex site yes but technically a dating app and you have to put your best foot forward not a picture of an angry looking penis that needs moisturizer hanging out of some off white boxer shorts with a three line profile.

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By *adCherriesCouple
43 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

Honestly if I was a guy, I wouldn't message anyone. I would let my profile speak for itself.

I have never met a guy of fab from them messaging me, it has always been through recommendations or profiles I have come across myself or through swinging events.

Mrs

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
43 weeks ago

Launceston

I send one message. If I don't get a reply then that tells me he isn't interested and to shuffle off and don't bother the person again! Honestly people, this shit isn't rocket science!

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I rarely send messages but if I do then one is enough and if I don’t receive a reply, I’d leave it at that and forget about it.

Receiving messages, sometimes I’ll reply straight away, sometimes I intend to but forget and a second one will prompt me to.

If I’m not interested, I tend to make it politely obvious.

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By *TG3Man
43 weeks ago

Dorchester

Ok I'd stretch to 5 I've not got a secretary

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By *he Forum Thread KillerMan
43 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

Deleted without reading is an instant block from me.

Read but not replied, I may send 1 more before blocking.

2 messaged but remain unread, again, I'll block.

I'll never send 3.

Why do I block (yes, even blokes will block ladies), its so I don't pester them by accident in the future.

Hope this makes sense.

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By *illy IdolMan
43 weeks ago

Midlands

1 when I used to send messages. If they didn't reply or read it, then they're not interested enough

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