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Cupid ‘ere once again and I’m matching you all up for the sexuals.
You remember how I work, right?
A correlation of interests/tastes equates to better carnal relations - it’s incontrovertible science so it is!
So without further ado, simply answer the following questions:
1. Tea or Coffee?
2. How do you take it (milk? How many sugars etc)
(If you dislike both, no problem, simply state ‘Neither’ - it may still get you matches after all)
Next, sit back on your arse and peruse everyone else’s answers.
What’s that? You see an exact match to your response?
- Eeee by gum! - You’re clearly destined to be together in sweaty sexual escapades!
Don’t forget to tell us all who you’ve matched with so we can have both a lewd nosey and a good old fashioned gossip.
Over to you now my fine people and may good fortune shine upon thy erogenous zones in this most righteous endeavour.
Praise be!
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"Tea, milk two sugars." Fucks sake........  
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"Tea, milk two sugars. Fucks sake........
"Sorry typo, meant to say, coffee, white one sugar!  | |||
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preferably a cappuccino!!! | |||
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"Earl Grey tea Half a slice of fresh lemon Just enough sugar to remove the lemon bitterness off. I get the feeling I'm gonna get no matches.. "Don't be hasty, I'm sure Nero will be along at some point  | |||
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"Black coffee. Can I also be excluded from matching with people who drink instant? "  | |||
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"Black coffee. Can I also be excluded from matching with people who drink instant? " | |||
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"Coffee with Oatmilk. preferably a cappuccino!!! "We matched!! | |||
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"Coffee with Oatmilk. preferably a cappuccino!!!
We matched!!"See! Science for the win! Cupid strikes again | |||
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"Coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar "Skimmed milk is an insult to the cow... | |||
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"Coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar
Skimmed milk is an insult to the cow..."The cow won’t be offended for too long. I like a good steak too | |||
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"Coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar
Skimmed milk is an insult to the cow...
The cow won’t be offended for too long. I like a good steak too "FFS | |||
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"Coffee with Oatmilk. preferably a cappuccino!!!
We matched!!"Get the kettle on then | |||
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"Tea Milk yes 2 sugars please " We match!! | |||
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"Tea Milk yes 2 sugars please We match!! "My arrows strike true once more!
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"Builders tea, no sugar. Cappuccino, no sugar. " Oh would you look at that , identical | |||
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"Tea (has to be strong) Two sugars, Milk "Another match!  | |||
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"Builders tea, no sugar. Cappuccino, no sugar. Oh would you look at that , identical "OMG we've gotta match  | |||
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"Builders tea, no sugar. Cappuccino, no sugar. Oh would you look at that , identical
OMG we've gotta match"Must be fate Willy  | |||
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"Tea (has to be strong) Two sugars, Milk
Another match! "And what a match  | |||
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"Coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar "Oooh a match, and I’ve winked before so clearly liked profile even before this post | |||
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"Tea (has to be strong) Two sugars, Milk
Another match!
And what a match "It was written in the tea leaves | |||
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"Builders tea, no sugar. Cappuccino, no sugar. Oh would you look at that , identical
OMG we've gotta match
Must be fate Willy "You can't argue with fate | |||
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"Coffee, black, no sugar." Matched with another Fox! | |||
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"Builders tea, no sugar. Cappuccino, no sugar. Oh would you look at that , identical
OMG we've gotta match
Must be fate Willy
You can't argue with fate "No but I bet I could argue with you have you got a bed big enough to park this tractor? *makes squinty eyes* | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me "Hang in there fair maiden; The night is yet young and I’m about to switch from my usual bow to my Love Crossbow mk2 which can fire off lust inducing projectiles capable of ensnaring multiple targets in one shot | |||
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"Has the sex stuff begun for any of you yet? "I mean I'm up for most things but even I draw the line at fucking a cup of tea.... that painful trip to A & E and the burns taught me that much! | |||
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"Has the sex stuff begun for any of you yet?
I mean I'm up for most things but even I draw the line at fucking a cup of tea.... that painful trip to A & E and the burns taught me that much! " | |||
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"Tea, milk with one sugar xxx" One sugar is close enough to one sweetener, right? | |||
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"Coffee Milk 1 sugar "You make the coffees and I'll be brrakfast? | |||
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"Tea One sweetener Dash of milk Biscuit to dunk (not a deal breaker) " I think biscuits are a good idea. Snap | |||
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"Tea One sweetener Dash of milk Biscuit to dunk (not a deal breaker) I think biscuits are a good idea. Snap" Ohhhh yesss snap. I’ll grab the biscuits | |||
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"Tea- milk and 3 sugars If you put the milk in before the water stay away from me. Psychopaths! " Snap! I would also like to add that it should always be stirred with a teaspoon, not one of those stupid wooden stick / spatula things | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me "Nor me lol | |||
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"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." Make it so.... | |||
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"Coffee White 1 sugar x" Cocktails | |||
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"Neither for me Vimto is my go to, cold or hot "when I’m sick I love this. Warm vimto or Ribena | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me "Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar! | |||
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"Coffee Black, very strong 2 sugars" Hey sexy | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar! "Tea?  | |||
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"Coffee White 1 sugar x Cocktails "Absolutely | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
Tea? "Just milk, I'm sweet enough | |||
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"Bunch of kinky fuckers! "What’s yours. I need to make notes | |||
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"Coffee Black, very strong 2 sugars Hey sexy" Stop the game, I've won this! Hey Pickle  | |||
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"Bunch of kinky fuckers! "It’s just as well I never enquired as to everyone’s biscuit dunking preferences… Frightfully uncouth behaviour!! | |||
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"Bunch of kinky fuckers! "Please tell me you order your banana's like that in a fruit and veg shop? | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar! "Lucky I can drink instant without milk ... I'm sure I'll get used to no sugar/sweetener | |||
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"Bunch of kinky fuckers!
Please tell me you order your banana's like that in a fruit and veg shop? "There aren't any, they've all gone out of business because of supermarkets! | |||
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"Bunch of kinky fuckers!
What’s yours. I need to make notes "I didnt spot a male match | |||
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"Ok cupid (haha, see what I did here?), match me this: coffee double cream no sugar "Consider me on it
ANYONE TAKE DOUBLE CREAM IN UNSWEETENED COFFEE? - Please report; Over | |||
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"Ok cupid (haha, see what I did here?), match me this: coffee double cream no sugar
Consider me on it
ANYONE TAKE DOUBLE CREAM IN UNSWEETENED COFFEE? - Please report; Over "Thank you | |||
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"Looks like earl grey with milk isn't a popular cup of tea " You are a culinary pioneer good sir; one day, the world will understand thy creative genius | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar! "I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself  | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself "Leo, seriously I've had enough coffee at the moment and happy to switch to a hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a pickled onion on top for a breather! *Steps aside like a gent and says "Treat her with respect brother" | |||
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"Both of us are black coffee no sugar, nice and strong!! Detest instant coffee!" See Leo, they are piling in now with the black coffee, no sugar. | |||
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"Coffee - yuk. Yea - yuk. Hot chocolate is where it’s at for the sexy people." At last, someone who talks sense! | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself
Leo, seriously I've had enough coffee at the moment and happy to switch to a hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a pickled onion on top for a breather!
*Steps aside like a gent and says "Treat her with respect brother""You never heard of sharing?! | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself
Leo, seriously I've had enough coffee at the moment and happy to switch to a hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a pickled onion on top for a breather!
*Steps aside like a gent and says "Treat her with respect brother"
You never heard of sharing?! "Lol. Looking at the map where the three of us are, I have triangulated and the centre of mass is actually Aberdeen. See you both at the airport/train station | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself
Leo, seriously I've had enough coffee at the moment and happy to switch to a hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a pickled onion on top for a breather!
*Steps aside like a gent and says "Treat her with respect brother"
You never heard of sharing?! "Cough Chocolate cough | |||
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"Typical no bloody matches for me
Same. I'll lower my standards then and include instant coffee then but no milk or sugar!
I got 2 but Mr fox has already corralled then for himself
Leo, seriously I've had enough coffee at the moment and happy to switch to a hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a pickled onion on top for a breather!
*Steps aside like a gent and says "Treat her with respect brother"
You never heard of sharing?!
Cough Chocolate cough "*Cough cough - she's a strong black coffee with no sugar type Don't let her see that prompt | |||
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"Coffee, strong. A hint of milk, two sugars. Yeah, I know" why, just why??? | |||
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what does that mean | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean "Go away x | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean "Hot Chocolate? I could get my Velvetiser out | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean "Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either! | |||
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"Coffee black lots of sugar haha" make sure we get some in then.. | |||
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"Tea, tiniest little bit of milk no sugar" A dash of cold milk isn't it? Hello | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either! "In that case we need a sexy support group for the non-caffeine imbibers. Tea, coffee and clothes are all banned. | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either!
In that case we need a sexy support group for the non-caffeine imbibers. Tea, coffee and clothes are all banned."Wow i never realised clothes had caffeine in them | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Go away x"You meanie | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either! "Ooooo that sounds fun! | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either!
In that case we need a sexy support group for the non-caffeine imbibers. Tea, coffee and clothes are all banned.
Wow i never realised clothes had caffeine in them "Shhhhhh!!! I’m trying to convince Boo and Booty to shag me and you’re not helping with pointing out the obvious!! Ps don’t tell them…. | |||
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"Coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar
Skimmed milk is an insult to the cow..."
Agree, It's a match | |||
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"Earl grey tea, milk, no sugar" Close. I have one sugar in mine. | |||
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"Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. Make it so.... "... and I do. | |||
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"Oh dear I don’t drink tea or coffee what does that mean
Means you can spend the day with me drinking because I don't either!
In that case we need a sexy support group for the non-caffeine imbibers. Tea, coffee and clothes are all banned.
Wow i never realised clothes had caffeine in them
Shhhhhh!!! I’m trying to convince Boo and Booty to shag me and you’re not helping with pointing out the obvious!!
Ps don’t tell them…."Did someone say something? | |||
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"Coffee Black No sugar "Well this is a match but I can't remember if I changed to hot chocolate with a pickled onion to let Leo in... | |||
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"Tea milk 2 sugar "Good choice! now get the kettle on! | |||
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"Tea milk 2 sugar
Good choice! now get the kettle on! "Ahem. Change to black coffee no sugar.The Tassimo is on! | |||
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