FabSwingers.com forum: Stop messaging first

By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

And do the conversations stop?

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By *agneto.Man
45 weeks ago

Bham

Eh ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Eh ? "
If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?

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By *eliWoman
45 weeks ago

I might try it. I'd like to think not but I'll report back next weekend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"I might try it. I'd like to think not but I'll report back next weekend.

"
Bet

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Yeah, probably. But I don't think my ego will allow it

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By *agneto.Man
45 weeks ago

Bham

"Eh ? If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?"

People I'm in conversation with or just randoms? If it's randoms then Yes.

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By *emorefridaCouple
45 weeks ago

La la land

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel.

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By *eliWoman
45 weeks ago

"I might try it. I'd like to think not but I'll report back next weekend.

Bet"

Oh.

You saying I don't have friends?

Cool. Cool. Cool. Coool.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do

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By *naswingdressWoman
45 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

About 50/50 I'd say.

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By *alcon43Woman
45 weeks ago

Paisley

I rarely message first but for guys it may be the only way they get a response.

Someone has to make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"I might try it. I'd like to think not but I'll report back next weekend.

Bet

Oh.

You saying I don't have friends?

Cool. Cool. Cool. Coool."

No sorry I’m saying like bet. Do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel. "

Yeah you’re mad boring

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Yeah, probably. But I don't think my ego will allow it

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By *edeWoman
45 weeks ago

the abyss

I just don't start them and so it keeps things pretty consistently quiet

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By *ad NannaWoman
45 weeks ago

East London

Nah, I'm too good with my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

"And do the conversations stop?"

Do you mean message them first like first message of the day?

I only message once they have messaged back. Its reply for reply.

If their message is low effort or something I can't respond to I assume they are busy or lost interest so I don't reply unless they hit me up again.

But I don't double message people, unless it's someone that I've spoken to for a while and consider a mate kinda. In that case I might reach out to see if they are OK.

If I've messaged them and keep seeing them online and they havnt replied for a while and normally they reply in good time i take that as a hint and I delete the chat and leave em be.

I wernt quite sure what you meant so you have my full chat guideline.

There's rules to this shit

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
45 weeks ago

Essex

Yes. And it’s totally my fault because I open messages when I’m not in a position to reply… then get distracted…

Oooh squirrel

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By *ellhungvweMan
45 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "

That’s how I tend to play it as well.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
45 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

I need to get better at taking a hint. My pester power is impressive

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
45 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"And do the conversations stop?"

Sometimes.

But thats to be expected. Especially if you have testicle because inboxes if you have tits fill up quite quickly apparently and it's easy for someone to get sidetracked or just bulk delete. Which, assuming you don't want to be seen to message twice without a response, means you'll left be sat wondering.

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By *emorefridaCouple
45 weeks ago

La la land

"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel.

Yeah you’re mad boring"

Totally am, plus I have a massive tendency to go off on tangents. Which on here, I appreciate can be annoying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I can be bad at restarting a conversation if I think we've finished one. Don't want to bore people with my drivel.

Yeah you’re mad boring

Totally am, plus I have a massive tendency to go off on tangents. Which on here, I appreciate can be annoying. "

You’re welcome to annoy me Frida.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

It's the digital age but the history of courting lives on. Men have to be the peacock.

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By *eroLondonMan
45 weeks ago

Mayfair

If they message I'll usually reply and maintain the momentum (and interest) of messaging. If they are expecting me to keep the conversation flowing, with little or no reciprocal chat, then I lose interest.

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By *agneto.Man
45 weeks ago

Bham

I sometimes leave a little land mine, where they can either just stop chatting or have to think to keep the conversation going themselves. If they do keep the conversation going at that point, then I'm happy to keep driving it.

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By *weetCherryWoman
45 weeks ago

London

All the time

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By *entleman of FortuneMan
45 weeks ago

Hull

As a guy I'd guess mostly they do, unless you've built up a rapport with the person. If they do I don't take no offence, conversing a woman on fab, you're competing with millions of other guys, it's often not even deliberate just over stimulated with messages to wade through. Personally I don't message through fab any longer I go to organised socials and interact in person, not so many single blokes there to have to compete with.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
45 weeks ago

Reading

I can kill a thing dead with sarcasm. I think I'm funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do

That’s how I tend to play it as well."

Yip works well

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By *aizyWoman
45 weeks ago

west midlands

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "

This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them!

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do

This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them!"

Yip same always feel it’s better to leave the ball in they court

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By *herryEatersCouple
45 weeks ago

East Cheshire

"And do the conversations stop?"

Sadly yes in most cases !, we'd hope for something more equal, mutual interest and effort... Strange how most of them claim great interest in us, probably just pic collectors or simply want to be 'chased'.

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By *stellaWoman
45 weeks ago

London

Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

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By *stellaWoman
45 weeks ago

London

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful. "

I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Probably a good idea

Save me a lot of heartache

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By *hoirCouple
45 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

On here? Probably.

IRL I have like two people who keep tabs but I never want to impose so I go quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

When is enough enough??

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By *estarossa.Woman
45 weeks ago

Flagrante

I find they lose interest pretty quickly, must be my stunning personality!

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By *stellaWoman
45 weeks ago

London

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.

I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky

You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"When is enough enough?? "

Just message me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.

I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky

You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work?

Girl

I BEEN messaging you

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By *stellaWoman
45 weeks ago

London

"Stop overthinking. Do what you want to, when you want to.

Hang on I’m just going to turn my brain off

You know what I mean. Interrupt the rumination. Breathe. Any woman receiving messages from you would be lucky, you’re a good sort, and beautiful.

I’m not for everyone which is ok. But yes, YOU are lucky

You know you have to actually send a message for that joke to work?

Girl

I BEEN messaging you"

Oh my bad.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
45 weeks ago

Manchester

"Eh ? If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?"

Nope. Most men seem to either keep messaging (even if you've never replied to them) different messages or go into a loop with the same ones. It's quite scary to see how many messages they can send with both replies.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
45 weeks ago

London

Never heard the phrase 'double message' before. I do that. Didn't realise that it was bad form. And sarcasm is a second language to me. Just saying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"Eh ? If you stop messaging them first, do your conversations stop happening?

I don’t mean just on fab. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
45 weeks ago

"On here? Probably.

IRL I have like two people who keep tabs but I never want to impose so I go quiet.

It’s so good you’ve got them

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

If the conversation has ended I usually won’t be the first person to restart another conversation incase they

when they see it.

So, yeah. I don’t hear from some of them again

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By *issmorganWoman
45 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Ive got a friend like this, I won't send her anymore messages, as it's always me making contact.

It generally takes her days to respond, she doesn't work anymore or have any caring responsibilities.

I last texted about 5 weeks ago, it took her 5 days to respond and she didn't even really refer to anything I'd said.

I appreciate people have their own lives and stuff going on, but it feels pretty much like a total lack of interest in me, so I've deleted her number.

I can't be arsed with one sided friendships anymore.

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By *issmorganWoman
45 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do "

I do same on here

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
45 weeks ago

North West

When the fun stops, stop.

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By *ags73Man
45 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"The way I work is I don’t message till they message back I leave the ball in they court

So if I message something and they don’t return a reply I don’t send a message till they do

This is how I am, if I'm left on read I don't msg again, unless it is someone I know really well or have been chatting to for ages, then I'll just msg them I don't care if I annoy them!"

This.

I try to keep messaging if it goes back and forward, but if it feels that I’ve messaged and they’re not responding then I leave it with them.

Only so much of the time, you should have to carry the ball and if someone’s not bothered then they won’t answer

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/24 23:07:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Don't message first?

I've been doing that for years.

Strange how people I've never messaged have never replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

"And do the conversations stop?"

It’s very transactional here. I’m done here in many ways, and maybe a bad fit for me.

most conversations which have value in life are not transactional. If I end up in a transactional convo I quickly lose the inertia to speak. Someone who wants to chat, chats off piste and just goes for it, is a winner in my eyes.

The only person doing all the talking is you Stephen.

Your turn…

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By *mf123Man
45 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Nooooo i talk to myself all the time i even do different accents to change it up too

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By *educing_EmCouple
45 weeks ago

Tipperary

If the conversation stops I'll probably send one more message if I like them.

If it stops again I'll leave it alone, don't want to be on the receiving end of

like Mrs Shiv said.

Em x

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By *educing_EmCouple
45 weeks ago

Tipperary

I didn't answer the question, damn it.

Yes, it has stopped when I stop making the effort. I'm boring like that

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

"If the conversation stops I'll probably send one more message if I like them.

If it stops again I'll leave it alone, don't want to be on the receiving end of

like Mrs Shiv said.

Em x"

Ooooh you and Mrs Shiv on the same bed... Page! I meant page!

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By *electableicecreamMan
45 weeks ago

The West

Depends.

There's people I chat to on fab in what I think of as open ended conversations. There's lulls in the chat and no pressure to reply. I like those. It's a nice way to keep in touch with someone I know id like to meet but time and circumstances push that possibility into the future.

If don't get a reply I don't over think it. I might send a follow up after another little while and would leave it there. It the chat dies all that means is that there wasn't enough collective energy there to keep a chat going.

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