FabSwingers.com forum: You've met someone...

By *eli OP Woman
40 weeks ago

and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I'm proactive. The worst they can do is block me.

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By *d4fun73Man
40 weeks ago

Shipley

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?"

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game "
I think I’m going to agree with this

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By *eli OP Woman
40 weeks ago

"I'm proactive. The worst they can do is block me."

I like that attitude, Ruby. Yeah, most of the time I'm quite proactive if I think there's something there. Is cautiously proactive a term? Should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

I’m proactive simply because I’m my experience women are not. So if I left it to them I’ll never get anywhere.

But I’m starting to deep it. Women are proactive if they actually like you and want to contact you. If they don’t… take the hint?

I am often, not always, the one doing the chasing in my life. Makes me think.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Im proactive if we got on and liked each other

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Sorry- yeah I’m proactive. If this is about you, Meli, then shoot your shot.

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By *d4fun73Man
40 weeks ago

Shipley

"I’m proactive simply because I’m my experience women are not. So if I left it to them I’ll never get anywhere.

But I’m starting to deep it. Women are proactive if they actually like you and want to contact you. If they don’t… take the hint?

I am often, not always, the one doing the chasing in my life. Makes me think.

Never chase, pursue yes.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
40 weeks ago

Reading

It depends on my mood and the level of my confidence that day.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
40 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I'm proactive, I like people to know I'm interested!

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Oh god yeh, im straight up with people.

I can't be assed with games and have a short tolerance for messing around or vagueness

If they are interested then cool.

If not then good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

If I'm into them, yes very proactive. If they don't return that (as happens regularly here!) I fade away.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"If I'm into them, yes very proactive. If they don't return that (as happens regularly here!) I fade away. "

Christ I don't mean Miss Havisham. My messages fade off.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Assuming I've actually met them, I'd like to say that I'd like to see them again or say that I'll text them later. I'm not normally that proactive but I start to fancy my chances if they're in a position where they've already wanted to meet me once

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Quite shy and I think that's the reason nothing more happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"I'm proactive, I like people to know I'm interested! "

Men like this

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By *edeWoman
40 weeks ago

the abyss

Oh I'm so far from proactive I'm surprised I talk to anyone... ever

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By *ake_or_deathMan
40 weeks ago

Manchester

It depends. I might think someone is cute but I have no small talk and I'm not hot enough to attract someone on here purely by my body so if there's nothing in a profile I can latch onto to talk to them about (this can be addressed if the person is active in the forums) I probably won't.

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By *stellaWoman
40 weeks ago

London

I honestly don’t know.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Op I like to believe I am proactive if there is someone interesting to be proactive with.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
40 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

I always worry that they have a life outside, whatever this is, and I'm bothering them if I message them so I'm always reluctant to be proactive and hope they'll contact me whenever they have time.

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By *eli OP Woman
40 weeks ago

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game "

Really? Rarely?

This might be a bit harsh for Sunday, a day of peace but I think if a woman is genuinely interested? She'll be proactive. I think anyone is more likely to be proactive if they're genuinely interested, gender aside.

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By *agneto.Man
40 weeks ago

Bham

I think I'm usually the proactive one. It kind of depends on the vibe though. Sometimes you feel it more than others and then that's encouraging.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
40 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game "

Some are. Fortunately.........

And when they are it's great. That said I'll usually be pretty up front about wanting to see someone again.

There's no guarantee they'll feel the same way of course...

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game

Really? Rarely?

Truth hurts

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By *d4fun73Man
40 weeks ago

Shipley

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game

Really? Rarely?

I've found that the initial interest fades away.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
40 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Meli. You have been spying! Anyway, yes this has just happened and they messaged first. Woohoo! We shall see though.

I would've if they hadn't though.

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By *ad NannaWoman
40 weeks ago

East London

As I'm the one with more free time than most men I leave it to them to arrange a day to meet-or at least run some days by me when they are free.

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By *viatrixWoman
40 weeks ago

Redhill

I did once and was shot down haha…

Since then, never again.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"As I'm the one with more free time than most men I leave it to them to arrange a day to meet-or at least run some days by me when they are free.

If you’re free and want to see someone though, why not ask?

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By *eroLondonMan
40 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"and you think they're kind of cute.

So, are you proactive in messaging them? In suggesting another time you'll see them?

Do you prefer the other to be the more proactive one?

Well women are very rarely proactive in this game.

I think I’m going to agree with this."

•

I have to say that I agree with this too. Their passive nature in this department is the stuff of legends.

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By *electableicecreamMan
40 weeks ago

The West

I'm proactive. I've engaged with plenty of women that are also proactive.

For example I very rarely send opening messages but I do get opening messages from women and couples that would like to start a conversation and in those cases I am inclined to be quite proactive as I appreciate the effort already made.

I don't agree with the poster above that women are rarely pro active. My experience is the opposite.

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By *eli OP Woman
40 weeks ago

"I’m proactive simply because I’m my experience women are not. So if I left it to them I’ll never get anywhere.

But I’m starting to deep it. Women are proactive if they actually like you and want to contact you. If they don’t… take the hint?

I am often, not always, the one doing the chasing in my life. Makes me think.

Oh Pickle.

I do think there's an element of learned behaviour, you know social conditioning. Women are taught/told they shouldn't chase, they should be chased. That men prefer women who let them be in their "masculine energy" whilst a woman steps in to her feminine when she lets a man take the lead.

I know some men would very much rather be the proactive one in a scenario and can find it a turn off if a woman is.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

"I’m proactive simply because I’m my experience women are not. So if I left it to them I’ll never get anywhere.

But I’m starting to deep it. Women are proactive if they actually like you and want to contact you. If they don’t… take the hint?

I am often, not always, the one doing the chasing in my life. Makes me think.

Oh Pickle.

I know some men would very much rather be the proactive one in a scenario and can find it a turn off if a woman is.

Nah don’t try it Meli! We both know the truth. You even said it above

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By *ellhungvweMan
40 weeks ago

Cheltenham

If you like someone then I don’t get why you would wait for them - they might never notice you and then you will be waiting for eternity.

If you say hello and they say no then you have found the answer. If they say yes then you have also found the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Proactive. It's not like they are going to notice me otherwise.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
40 weeks ago

Newcastle

I don’t like to come across as being too keen so I leave it up to them to make the next move.

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