FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

I hate flies ever since since I got 4my cock caught in one

Please tell me your jokes clean or dirty

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By *orny PTMan
44 weeks ago

Peterborough

What's the zip code for Neverland?

Open sesame!

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?

Gum

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By *r99mr99Man
44 weeks ago

Ealing

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
44 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Two elephants walk off a cliff.

Boom boom

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

Love them keep them coming

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

"Two elephants walk off a cliff.

Bo oom"
love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

"What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?

Gum"
haha that made me laugh so loud I newly wet my self thanks you have anyone ore

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By *iasubTV/TS
44 weeks ago

Ilkeston

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts!

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By *arcosaMan
44 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 18/02/24 05:09:40]

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By *arcosaMan
44 weeks ago

London

A friend of mine worked in a circus as a trapeze artist. Until he was let go.

I got fired from my job at the steel mill. My manager said I smelt bad.

I went to my local the other day and asked for a Jack Daniels and Coke. The barman asked me "is Pepsi ok?" I said yes, he replied "Ok one Pepsi and Coke coming up!"

For our first date, I took my wife to an ice rink that was offering half price admission. She said I was a cheap skate.

Sting has been reported missing. The Police have no lead.

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

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By *r1dayMan
44 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

It's impossible to run in a campsite.........you can only ran as its past tents.

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By *ortyairCouple
44 weeks ago

Wallasey

Only works in a Scouse accent and is my granddaughters favourite.

Two little kids chatting, one says,

'There's been a fire at Tesco's'

'As da?,

'No Tescos',

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

Love them

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By *orny PTMan
44 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Two elephants walk off a cliff.

Boom boom"

What does it sound like when Basil Brush drops two bangers?

Boom, boom.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

Like them

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By *iasubTV/TS
44 weeks ago

Ilkeston

"Only works in a Scouse accent and is my granddaughters favourite.

Two little kids chatting, one says,

'There's been a fire at Tesco's'

'As da?,

'No Tescos',

Mrs x"

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

What do you call a chick that don’t suck dick?

You don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"What do you call a chick that don’t suck dick?

You don’t"

That’s actually a song lyric but I love it

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By *arcosaMan
44 weeks ago

London

Put your money in wind chimes. It's a pretty sound investment.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
44 weeks ago

carrbrook stalybridge

If you injure yourself playing peekaboo where do you go for treatment ?

.wait for it

I.c.u. of course

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By *oupleus30Couple
44 weeks ago

Minster

A man was walking across a Marsh when he could hear pleas of help, so he rushed to see what was happening, and there stuck up to his neck was a man in quick sand.

Found some rope and tried to pull him out to no avail, went off and came back with 3 others to help, pulled again but he didn't budge. They stood around puzzled as to why they couldn't get out, the stuck man saw this and shouted out" would it help if I took my feet out of the stirrups"

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By *nsatiable n baldCouple
44 weeks ago

somewhere only we know

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

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By *ascaIMan
44 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

What happens to horses when they get hurt?

They go to the Horsepital!

Just kidding. They get shot.

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By *idewinder01Man
44 weeks ago

Poole

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day, one makes your hole weak.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

Love them

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

A guy walks out of a restroom and a woman says, “Sir, your garage door is open.”

The guy says, “Did you see my big Harley?”

The woman responds, “No, I saw a mini bike with 2 flat tires.”

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Why is camping so stressful?

Because it's intents

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
44 weeks ago

Launceston

I used to go out with a guy who couldn't stop counting...

I often wonder what he's up to now...

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By *orny PTMan
44 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Only works in a Scouse accent and is my granddaughters favourite.

Two little kids chatting, one says,

'There's been a fire at Tesco's'

'As da?,

'No Tescos',

Mrs x"

De ASDA?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
44 weeks ago

I hate flies ever since I got my cock caught in 1 of them

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By *ornucopiaMan
44 weeks ago

Bexley

"A man was walking across a Marsh when he could hear pleas of help, so he rushed to see what was happening, and there stuck up to his neck was a man in quick sand.

Reminds me of the old one about the girl sinking in quicksands.

She calls a passing man for assistance.

Sensing a sexual opportunity, as men do, he asks her "What's in it for

me?"

She shouts "SAND!"

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What’s better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie Doll?

Ken comes in a different box.

What's another saying for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Don't hate me, just a sharer

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"A man was walking across a Marsh when he could hear pleas of help, so he rushed to see what was happening, and there stuck up to his neck was a man in quick sand.

Proper

at that

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By *andrelaxMan
44 weeks ago

Harlesden

An Uber...

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

One off my new favourite comics

Hannah Berner

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/TtGUMVs1jXI

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

2 nuns in a bath

One says 'where's the soap?'

Other replies 'yes it does'

I'll get my coat

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By *onnydayzMan
44 weeks ago

preston

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never paid to see a lentil.

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside?

A coconut.

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By *idan31Man
44 weeks ago

ashby

I went up to an attractive woman at my local bar.

Got my cock out and asked her if she liked my new piercing. After about 30 seconds, she said what piercing?

I said … it’s in my ear ….

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

"I went up to an attractive woman at my local bar.

Got my cock out and asked her if she liked my new piercing. After about 30 seconds, she said what piercing?

I said … it’s in my ear …. "

Best one here so far for me.

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks?

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

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By *ortyairCouple
44 weeks ago

Wallasey

"What happens to horses when they get hurt?

They go to the Horsepital!

Just kidding. They get shot."
That made me spit a bit of my cuppa out haha,

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

I was in a cafe the other day and I saw an item on the menu called a "Duck Sandwich".

That made me feel sad in a way, because finally the duck was surrounded by bread, but was in no position to enjoy it.

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?

A man will actually press all the microwave’s buttons

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By *ark and Delicious 61Couple
44 weeks ago

Beyond the gates of Paradise

Had post the other day - a Yorkshire Pudding fell out. Was really puzzled until I read the card-Love from Aunt Bessie ! Sorry its the best I have!! LOL

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By *rill PhilMan
44 weeks ago

Crediton

When my grandmother turned 60 she started walking 5 miles a day.

She's 103 now and we don't have clue where she is.

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By *rill PhilMan
44 weeks ago

Crediton

I had to bury a cat the other day.

Hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Damn thing wouldn't stay in the hole.

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By *ornucopiaMan
44 weeks ago

Bexley

What do sex offenders have smuggled into jail in a cake in order to effect an escape from their cell?

A 'Peter' file!

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Knock, knock

Who's there?

When where

When where who?

Tonight, my place, you and me.

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Bought my GF luminous condoms:

Should'ave seen her face light up!

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By *arlongrooveMan
44 weeks ago

belfast

What di you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls

Rick OShey

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By *arlongrooveMan
44 weeks ago

belfast

What do you call an Irish man hanging from the celling

Sean DaLeer

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By *arlongrooveMan
44 weeks ago

belfast

How many Irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb....

A thousand and 1

1 to hold the light bulb and a thousand to turn the house round...

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb.

1, it only takes 1 American to screw any thing up

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By *herry delightWoman
44 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts!"

A skeleton walked into a pub:

"I'd like a pint of lager and a mop".

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By *hrowawaydevice1987Man
43 weeks ago

SW London/Surrey

Why did the condom fly across the room?

Because he was pissed off!

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