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Stress and work

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

So I've been off work with stress since Christmas (won't go in depth it's family health issues) nor looking for sympathy.

To start my boss was "make sure you get better. Don't come back till your right and everything is sorted."

Now when I'm giving updates it's just "ok" or "thanks" me thinks they are a bit p o'd.

Even if it is my first time off in over 2 years and never been off this long before

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
41 weeks ago

East Sussex

Could it be they've just run out of ways to say it?

Hope things resolve for you

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By *ames-77Man
41 weeks ago

milton keynes

Not much else they can say

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By *aizyWoman
41 weeks ago

west midlands


"Could it be they've just run out of ways to say it?

Hope things resolve for you "

Yes this OP, try not over think it, hope things get better for you.

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By *hiskasMan
41 weeks ago

Llanelli

When any of my lads calling sick, day 1 is hope all is OK. By a few days in its just thanks for letting me know, it's not that I'm annoyed with them, it's just there is only so many ways of saying the same thing, as a lot of people on here k ow about sending or reply to messages lol. Don't over think it fella, your off for a reason and that's all that matters, nothing can be done about it or you would be back in work already.

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By *stwo2023Couple
41 weeks ago

Worcester


"So I've been off work with stress since Christmas (won't go in depth it's family health issues) nor looking for sympathy.

To start my boss was "make sure you get better. Don't come back till your right and everything is sorted."

Now when I'm giving updates it's just "ok" or "thanks" me thinks they are a bit p o'd.

Even if it is my first time off in over 2 years and never been off this long before"

Have they offered any form of support to get you back to work? An occupational health referral perhaps? Are you taking any steps to return to work?

Wether or not you've had time off previously is irrelevant really. I've only had 4 days off in 11 years but if I was off for almost 2 months I'd expect conversations around why I was off and what either party can do to facilitate a return to work.

What more do you want them to be saying to you?

Evie.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago


"So I've been off work with stress since Christmas (won't go in depth it's family health issues) nor looking for sympathy.

To start my boss was "make sure you get better. Don't come back till your right and everything is sorted."

Now when I'm giving updates it's just "ok" or "thanks" me thinks they are a bit p o'd.

Even if it is my first time off in over 2 years and never been off this long before"

What else do you want them to say?

Do you want them asking how you are/when you’re back? etc.

Last thing they want is to be hit with a harassment claim.

Looks to me like you’re wanting to feel needed by them

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

Well I have been referred to occupational health by them and without sounding big headed I AM needed by them because even though I'm off they keep texting and ringing me asking how to do things every few days and I'm not even a boss lol.

I guess the earlier posts are right and probably have ran out of ways to say it. Appreciate it thank you

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By *ellinever70Woman
41 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"Well I have been referred to occupational health by them and without sounding big headed I AM needed by them because even though I'm off they keep texting and ringing me asking how to do things every few days and I'm not even a boss lol.

I guess the earlier posts are right and probably have ran out of ways to say it. Appreciate it thank you "

They shouldn't be contacting you in that way

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago


"Well I have been referred to occupational health by them and without sounding big headed I AM needed by them because even though I'm off they keep texting and ringing me asking how to do things every few days and I'm not even a boss lol.

I guess the earlier posts are right and probably have ran out of ways to say it. Appreciate it thank you "

They most definitely shouldn’t be contacting you like that. It could potentially add to your stress.

Do you have a union rep you can report it to?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
41 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Well I have been referred to occupational health by them and without sounding big headed I AM needed by them because even though I'm off they keep texting and ringing me asking how to do things every few days and I'm not even a boss lol.

I guess the earlier posts are right and probably have ran out of ways to say it. Appreciate it thank you "

If you're signed off then you're off.

Nobody from work should be contacting uou bar your line manager or HR and even then, only to make enquiries about your health situation and ongoing support, not anything work related.

Answering calls/texts relating to work creates a rod for your own back and gives the impression you are actually able to work.

It shouldn't happen and your HR department know this.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

Yea have reported it to union. I've been in for a meeting as well as the main boss just went "we are only checking up on your health" my reply was "then why are you asking about work?" He just waffled on about times he was sick then.

I basically just ignore them unless they are about sickness.

(Just want to add again it's not work stressing it's a family issue but when I mentioned what's happening in work to the docs yesterday at my follow up the doc even offered to write my work a letter to tell them off lol)

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
41 weeks ago

Wales

I think, ultimately though, it's a business. Do they genuinely care about your well being? Maybe, up to a point.

But, anyone off long term sick puts additional pressure on the business, lost wages and extra workload for the rest of the team.

It's not sustainable forever and they might be thinking about when/if you're coming back.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff


"I think, ultimately though, it's a business. Do they genuinely care about your well being? Maybe, up to a point.

But, anyone off long term sick puts additional pressure on the business, lost wages and extra workload for the rest of the team.

It's not sustainable forever and they might be thinking about when/if you're coming back.

"

Thats true. Well I will be going back.

It's probably more I'm in a team of 10 or I was. We are meant to be 10 but are now 6 because of people leaving who they have not replaced and also 2 other people are on long term sick for the last 5 months and now with me off they are down to 4

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

As we speak... just had another text asking me how to do something

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By *a LunaWoman
41 weeks ago

South Wales


"As we speak... just had another text asking me how to do something "

I’d keep copies of call logs from them and the texts, emails. So you can show how much they’ve contacted you. And either make a formal complaint or to show your boss.

If it’s colleagues contacting you the boss might not be aware?

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

Its a mixture of both lol

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By *olf and RedCouple
41 weeks ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

I was once off for 4 months over 20 years ago with a health condition. They shouldn’t be contacting you about work related questions when you are signed off.

I went back on a phased return which I know is still often used. Your employer needs to give you the time and space to get better. I hope things improve for you soon.

Red

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Hi op

Does your job provide well being support at all? If you need support call your Gp too. Stress is unpleasant I get it all the time.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff


"Hi op

Does your job provide well being support at all? If you need support call your Gp too. Stress is unpleasant I get it all the time. "

They point you in the direction of it but it's been the GP mostly

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By *imi_RougeWoman
41 weeks ago

Portsmouth


"Well I have been referred to occupational health by them and without sounding big headed I AM needed by them because even though I'm off they keep texting and ringing me asking how to do things every few days and I'm not even a boss lol.

I guess the earlier posts are right and probably have ran out of ways to say it. Appreciate it thank you "

They really shouldn't be doing that!

ACAS are excellent for advice when it comes to employment.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
41 weeks ago

Reading

They do this. But if you are signed off you are signed off they cant argue with medical professionals.

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By *ixiekissesWoman
41 weeks ago

Happy place


"I think, ultimately though, it's a business. Do they genuinely care about your well being? Maybe, up to a point.

But, anyone off long term sick puts additional pressure on the business, lost wages and extra workload for the rest of the team.

It's not sustainable forever and they might be thinking about when/if you're coming back.

Thats true. Well I will be going back.

It's probably more I'm in a team of 10 or I was. We are meant to be 10 but are now 6 because of people leaving who they have not replaced and also 2 other people are on long term sick for the last 5 months and now with me off they are down to 4"

That's not your problem, it's theirs. You are signed off as unfit to work by a medical professional, sure they will want an update on how things are going with you, however there are legal limits with this.

Might be a good idea to permit your doctor to write to them.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
41 weeks ago

cardiff

Ironically yesterday my boss rang asking how I was for about 2 minutes then when it seemed to be over he went

"Oh while I got you on the phone we can't do something... how do you do it blah blah" was on the phone for 10 minutes trying to explain work crap to gim

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
40 weeks ago

cardiff

And today getting messages telling me how busy it is.. trying to guilt much

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

It's not in your or your bosses interest for you to go back to work until you are ready.

If you go back too early you could end up having to go off sick again.

Drop the guilt and relax

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
40 weeks ago

Southampton


"And today getting messages telling me how busy it is.. trying to guilt much "

I believe they are not allowed to contact you if you are signed off... I would check on gov.uk

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By (user no longer on site)
40 weeks ago

Given your personal circumstances this may not be the ideal time to change jobs, but given all the stress they are clearly giving you right now, are you sure this is the right employer for you?

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By *hesubtlegentMan
40 weeks ago

surrey

OP that is awful your employer is contacting you about work related issues while you’re off sick. Your union rep should have spoken to them by now explaining that under no circumstances should they be contacting you about anything other than your well-being. If there is a HR department, I’d contact them and lodge a grievance. All this will be doing is adding to your stress. Personally, I wouldn’t be answering calls from them anymore. They can have the union rep ask you how you are in the future until you’re ready to go back.

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
40 weeks ago

cardiff


"Given your personal circumstances this may not be the ideal time to change jobs, but given all the stress they are clearly giving you right now, are you sure this is the right employer for you?"

I am looking to change jobs. Just trying to find one at the moment more suitable

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
40 weeks ago

cardiff


"OP that is awful your employer is contacting you about work related issues while you’re off sick. Your union rep should have spoken to them by now explaining that under no circumstances should they be contacting you about anything other than your well-being. If there is a HR department, I’d contact them and lodge a grievance. All this will be doing is adding to your stress. Personally, I wouldn’t be answering calls from them anymore. They can have the union rep ask you how you are in the future until you’re ready to go back. "

Thank you. Don't actually have a union rep in my work I would have to go to the company we use externally

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By *vd061987 OP   Man
40 weeks ago

cardiff

Guess I also don't like i am being told how busy it is there

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