FabSwingers.com forum: Question about safety

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

3 times this week I have asked for the social first and 3 times I have been let down, I don't meet easily anyway, I'm a fussy bugger, but when I do I like to know I'm going to be safe and the person isn't a complete nutter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all, I always do social meet first, just a quick coffee to check there is a spark there. To be honest I find most genuine guys are very obliging of this so haven't really had a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all - If I'm going to meet a guy I'll do a social meet first. But I've now got to the stage of safety firstness that I'll only really meet in clubs.

We single ladies have got to look out for ourselves!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not at all - If I'm going to meet a guy I'll do a social meet first. But I've now got to the stage of safety firstness that I'll only really meet in clubs.

We single ladies have got to look out for ourselves!"

I've never been to a club, not sure they're my thing tbh, but sometimes think it's my only option now, 6/6 let downs is pushing it even for me lol

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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago

a land up north..... of leicester

I wouldn't say that you're being out of order, as you say its for your safety but also I imagine that you make sure you have an attraction to the guy also. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't say that you're being out of order, as you say its for your safety but also I imagine that you make sure you have an attraction to the guy also. X"

I would've swapped pics so know I fancy him, but yes there still has to be a spark, and I need to know he's not mad lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No not at all, I always do social meet first, just a quick coffee to check there is a spark there. To be honest I find most genuine guys are very obliging of this so haven't really had a problem. "

Exactly the same for me.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

"Not at all - If I'm going to meet a guy I'll do a social meet first. But I've now got to the stage of safety firstness that I'll only really meet in clubs.

We single ladies have got to look out for ourselves!

I've never been to a club, not sure they're my thing tbh, but sometimes think it's my only option now, 6/6 let downs is pushing it even for me lol"
genuine guys will meet like that first if they are really interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that it perfectly acceptable and people should respect that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not going to pull the old "I've had enough, I'm leaving" crap, but it does get on your tits, especially when I have to plan around work and my daughter, maybe I need to go to a club, just to see what it's like, maybe a better option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

You are very sensible lady, I much prefer a social first . You can always walk away then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes complete sense. In order to have proper fun you need trust. Their loss really, not yours.

Doing this as a single woman can I think be a little intimidating. Stick to your guns, it's a matter of respect too. It's nicer to know you're not just a piece of meat. Blokes that behave inappropriately don't deserve you or any woman for that matter.

This is my opinion anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the guys fancy you enough they will wait till you feel comfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

Not wrong at all and if they can't respect you're rules then would you really want to meet them anyway? Guess in a way they have shown their true character so maybe it isn't a complete waste of your time? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet in public first

I've had a few guys tell me its not a dating site when I suggest a drink

It never fails to amaze me how people can see meeting for a drink and a chat before a shag as a date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i ALWAYS do a social first.you have to be sure and safe.if they are genuine,they will have no problem with that. it would be madness to just to jump into any mans car home or anywhere else for that matter. i also say on profile i NEVER play on a first meet.if they dont like it so what.WE call the shots.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're being perfectly reasonable to expect a social first.

Your safety is paramount and you need to know if there's a mutual attraction.

Stick to your guns...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

We always meet socially, after pics and a chat etc..

its only when you meet folk do you get a feel for each other (no pun intended)and see if there is an attraction etc..

we get very wary of anyone who wants to just meet up and play..

nothing wrong at all OP, stick with what works for YOU..

anyone has a problem thats tough titty..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet first a) pics on here may be old ones b) OK chatting on here but will there be chemistry and c) Safety is Paramount

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're being perfectly reasonable to expect a social first.

Your safety is paramount and you need to know if there's a mutual attraction.

Stick to your guns..."

Ahhh a good one girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not going to pull the old "I've had enough, I'm leaving" crap, but it does get on your tits, especially when I have to plan around work and my daughter, maybe I need to go to a club, just to see what it's like, maybe a better option."

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your meeting so your rules.

If they have a problem with that then tough.

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By *ander_XMan
over a year ago

Greater Manchester

Absolutely, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to meet socially first.

For me a proper meet take a bit of planning, so I usually like to meet for a quick coffee first to at least reduce the risk of making plans only for there to be no spark.

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By *allen MadonnaWoman
over a year ago

In my own little world

Suggest you tell a friend full details of where you are meeting for a social as part of your safety plan. Give them details of who, where your meeting and for approximately how long. Keep in touch by mobile as you arrive, meet the guy and if you intend to extend the meet/possible play. Suzie Lampugh comes to mind. I'm both a lone worker and a lone swinger and put all sorts in place for my personal safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always ask the lady to choose venue where she meets part safety part to ensure she feels confortable.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only ever meet socially first but given conversations I have had with a couple of guys, there are some people happy to either meet at their home or his for the first meet; way too dangerous, what if you didn't fancy them, they might not leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all, even as a single guy I often text a friend to say where I'm going. In today's society we can never be too safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody women and their rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know its the right thing to do hunnie and you have me behind you 100 % safety wise. As I have done with you lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody women and their rules

enough to turn you gay isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody women and their rules

enough to turn you gay isn't it?

Seriously thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should always meet first in public - for the guy and girl's safety. Far too many "girls" on here are guys pretending. No one can never be too careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not at all, even as a single guy I often text a friend to say where I'm going. In today's society we can never be too safe x"

I've done this too...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

It never fails to amaze me that 'some' men just do not understand why a woman would want to care about her own safety when planning to meet!

As NN say's it's not a date to want to meet first to see if there is chemistry, as my profile says' it is my home, my body and therefore I choose who and how I want to play, if they are not happy then they can easily move on to someone else

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Always do what is best for you.

However, meeting someone at McD's for a coffee doesn't mean they ain't a nutter, they may just hide it better.

There will always be an element of risk for males, females & couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are absolutely right, stick to your guns and insist on a social meet first

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

when i was meeting i very rarely met socially, infact i think Letsbe was my first social meet that didnt lead straight to sex after lol

Maybe i was foolish but if i was ever not sure about meeting someone i wouldnt do it.

Perhaps clubs might be better, i know you are not sure but you dont have to go in for any group play, you can go to private rooms only for 1-2-1 sessions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

I know hun and I'm very grateful, not sure if it is my thing, but I've been thinking about it more and more, sorting a meet for myself isn't working, so maybe next time eh? xxx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

I know hun and I'm very grateful, not sure if it is my thing, but I've been thinking about it more and more, sorting a meet for myself isn't working, so maybe next time eh? xxx"

Of course... I will hold your hand xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bloody women and their rules

Oh shush

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

I know hun and I'm very grateful, not sure if it is my thing, but I've been thinking about it more and more, sorting a meet for myself isn't working, so maybe next time eh? xxx

Of course... I will hold your hand xx"

yeah.....lets all go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

I know hun and I'm very grateful, not sure if it is my thing, but I've been thinking about it more and more, sorting a meet for myself isn't working, so maybe next time eh? xxx

Of course... I will hold your hand xx"

Lol you've met me and know the "whole group nekkidness" thing isn't for me, but I imagine it would be fun to watch haha

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Give J or Ruby a shout - pretty sure they're planning another Chams trip soon!!

I offered last night....

I know hun and I'm very grateful, not sure if it is my thing, but I've been thinking about it more and more, sorting a meet for myself isn't working, so maybe next time eh? xxx

Of course... I will hold your hand xx

yeah.....lets all go

Sounds good to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Always do what is best for you.

However, meeting someone at McD's for a coffee doesn't mean they ain't a nutter, they may just hide it better.

There will always be an element of risk for males, females & couples"

Oh I agree, but I think looking in their eyes and having a conversation, would give you more of a chance to decide if you want to spend time alone with them. Invite someone to your house (which I have done) and decide you don't really want to be with them, it's not quite so easy to get them out, so far I have been lucky with those I have met.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Always do what is best for you.

However, meeting someone at McD's for a coffee doesn't mean they ain't a nutter, they may just hide it better.

There will always be an element of risk for males, females & couples

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know its the right thing to do hunnie and you have me behind you 100 % safety wise. As I have done with you lol xxx "

You know me hun, I don't have a problem meeting people, but after all the hassle with the nutter, I don't want to risk meeting one face to face, lol looks like another profile update fsg

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Don't look on it as being let down. Your method, is clearly ing out the type which are not for you, early on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't look on it as being let down. Your method, is clearly ing out the type which are not for you, early on. "

It's not so much being let down hun, but I have to organise my time around work and my daughter, if they have no intention of meeting, why say they will? I could've met someone else instead, I know a lot enjoy the chase, maybe I run too well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suggest you tell a friend full details of where you are meeting for a social as part of your safety plan. Give them details of who, where your meeting and for approximately how long. Keep in touch by mobile as you arrive, meet the guy and if you intend to extend the meet/possible play. Suzie Lampugh comes to mind. I'm both a lone worker and a lone swinger and put all sorts in place for my personal safety."

safety first at all times, ladies please do tell a friend and txt to let them know all well. have fun but be safe

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Don't look on it as being let down. Your method, is clearly ing out the type which are not for you, early on.

Hang around outside burger joints. That's where all the fit lads go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safety is paramount , social meets are always best to start with. I would actually push that to one side with a couple of forumites though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't look on it as being let down. Your method, is clearly ing out the type which are not for you, early on.

Hang around outside burger joints. That's where all the fit lads go

Lmao nooooooo they might nick my customised bag

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

If they can't or won't meet you on your terms, then they are most probably not worth meeting to start with.

I personally like a club meet / social as such.

But I know this is not for everyone.

You have a life and know what you want to do with it.

I am sure there are plenty who would meet you as a social, and hopefully those will be more fun than those who just want nothing more that a quick 5 minute shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet for a coffee first. If they don't want to that's fine, there's tons of other single fems out there for them to meet instead...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cynic in me thinks that there is a reason some men don't want to be seen in public having a drink in public.

But like everyone else has said perfectly reasonable to ask for a social meet and avoid anyone that objects.

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

by the look of your pics they are nuts! If you don't mind me saying, I would reduced the profile down to the bits which will essentially filter out chancers. Can't see many blokes reading that long profile, especially as they will be distracted by the pics and we all know what happens to brain functions then.

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

"I always meet for a coffee first. If they don't want to that's fine, there's tons of other single fems out there for them to meet instead...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

I feel exactly the same and always have a coffee and chat meet first if they are not interested then I just dont meet them or delete them from my friends list. Us women have plenty to choose from and can be picky, a lot of the blokes on here come across as been desparate and Im not interested.

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By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

an honest _iew from a man, and i am confident that a large majority if not all men on here would agree with me, if i was meeting a lady for the first time and it was at her home i would expect to play!! its how a mans mind works!

so you are absolutely right to arrange a social meet. i am guessing that the blokes who let you down expected to play.a social meet requires more effort!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

so you are absolutely right to arrange a social meet. i am guessing that the blokes who let you down expected to play.a social meet requires more effort! "

I have done the meet at my place and yes it had lead to playing, however, One bad experience made me rethink,when I first joined here I was a little naive, how quickly we learn. I have asked for socials and although these ppl have said yes and have no problem with it, them actually turning up is another thing

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

You are doing exactly the right thing - stick to your rules and don't compromise for anyone! Its the same that I do, and if anyone doesn't like it, its their loss!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because some men really done care what your like ...... sorry but some just looking for a leg over and the time your having a drink and chat thay could be having fun ......... Its your rules and do whats right for you.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I get limited free time to meet but am always happy to meet for a social first even if nothing happens afterwards, after all, it's a social. I get to spend time chatting openly about swinging with a lady I fancy...nothing wrong with that! There has to be a spark anyway, pics and chat are good starters, but there's no substitute for meeting in person.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"No not at all, I always do social meet first, just a quick coffee to check there is a spark there. To be honest I find most genuine guys are very obliging of this so haven't really had a problem. "

Likewise, but it's horses for courses. There are women that "meet now", not really bothered as long as they get what they want.

The problem arises when the "meet nows" contact the "social meets first" then realise they can't be arsed having a coffee...it cuts into their potential snagging time!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't like snagging

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Snagging hmmmmm reckon that could chafe a little after a while

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

i dont do social meets and i always meet at home. never had a time waster, no show or bad meet. it takes minimum of 6 weeks chatting to invite people over and i have a criteria they have to meet and i use good old fashioned gut instint. your not going to recognize a sociopath in costa.

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By *ot so hungwillyMan
over a year ago

selsey

Next time I'm heading north to Chams I'll give you a call and you can come along and hold my eerrmm hand

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Always do what is best for you.

However, meeting someone at McD's for a coffee doesn't mean they ain't a nutter, they may just hide it better.

There will always be an element of risk for males, females & couples"

I agree, but at least four men spring immediately to mind that I couldn't get away fast enough from.

Messages, photos, telephone conversations painted the image of urbane gentlemen. The reality was so different and they were genuinely surprised I didn't want to see them again: ever!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see what the problem is in meeting for a social first it certainly does not bother me.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"The cynic in me thinks that there is a reason some men don't want to be seen in public having a drink in public.

But like everyone else has said perfectly reasonable to ask for a social meet and avoid anyone that objects."

I don't think you need to be a cynic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have nothing to hide then there should be no problem,a bit like being pulled over by the police and you have done no wrong the minute you start running your mouth you've had it.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't like snagging

Bloody predictive text!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

No, you're not fussy - you're being realistic. As a single fem, if you're not putting your personal safety first (and then whether you like the guy second), then you're going to be on a slippery slope to a nasty experience. You can't guard against every possible bad situation, but the 'Social-only first' condition s out a LOT of the a***holes.

Carry on the way you are, and don't be too eager to go into private meets by letting your libido rule you head! If you REALLY need a good fuck NOW - then the safest way is ... 'Get thee to a club Madam'!! lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very rarely meet for a social first mostly as i don't have the time, and forking out 20 quid a time for a sitter doesn't come cheap, I do however chat for ages before i meet someone, in some cases has been months and one or two even a yr. As for safety, for a single women this is always going to be a risky way of having fun, i could meet someone 3 times for coffee and think they are great but that doesnt mean that once we meet and the excitement kicks in they won't become someone completely different, It's a risk we all choose to take, social or not we never really know if anyone is ok until the doors are closed and we are alone.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

Everyone has to think of their safety. Single woman, single men and couples. Always do things how you want to do them. If the other person does not like that just tell them to jog on and look for somebody who does respect the way you like to do things. Before any social meet I would get to know them online a bit first.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"an honest _iew from a man, and i am confident that a large majority if not all men on here would agree with me, if i was meeting a lady for the first time and it was at her home i would expect to play!! its how a mans mind works!

I am a man and I do not think like that. I never expect anything when having a meet. I know at anytime either me or the person(s) I am meeting could decide not to take things further.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive only ever done one social meet as regards to then meeting up for a play meet and that was last year when the guy was going to be near me so came for a coffee. He was a lovely guy, nothing wrong with him and he messaged me to say he would like to take it further but i said no, as i just couldnt be bothered. Cause id had the social meet it seemed like i already knew him and i tend to have sex with someone before they become friends and not the other way round

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Get to know them online first. You can then spot the time wasters and fantasists. You can also get a feel for other person and see how you get on. You can see if they are prepared to put some time in getting to know you or are just looking for another notch on the bedpost. It seems the men you have been going to meet are only interested in one thing. They don't want coffee and chat just sex. Use your gut instincts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

The guys I have met have been social first, admittedly 2 of them I did go back to their place for the coffee, but I had been chatting to them for ages and exchanged pics and they came to pick me up. If I hadnt recognised them Id have done a runner. Carry on as you are, there will be someone who is genuine out there and will meet you socially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would spend weeks if not months getting to know a person before I would meet him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disagree. That's how an arrogant mans' mind works, and certainly not how mine does.

Trouble is, guys who DO think like that don't ever consider how much better their swinging could be if they changed their attitude and looked at what marketing people call 'Lifetime Value' - what would you prefer? To meet a woman once a have sex with her, or... meet a woman for a social first, get to know her as well as you can, and end up being invited back time after time...?? I know which I prefer, and if that takes a bit of effort and PATIENCE, then that's the way it is...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Disagree. That's how an arrogant mans' mind works, and certainly not how mine does.

I disagree, when ive gotten to know someone and invite them over im assuming they will want to have sex otherwise its a waste of time them coming

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not saying the guy isn't coming over for sex, what I am saying, is I'd like to make sure I feel safe in his company before being alone with him, besides which, in my opinion, sex gets better the more I get to know someone, the more comfortable I become, so if he's an arrogant arse who doesn't consider my feelings on the safety aspect, he wont be coming at all, let alone for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I meet, I meet for sex, and this is stated upfront prior to agreeing to meet.

No assumptions, no if's, no but's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disagree. That's how an arrogant mans' mind works, and certainly not how mine does.

I disagree, when ive gotten to know someone and invite them over im assuming they will want to have sex otherwise its a waste of time them coming"

I think the point the OP made and the _iew offered by the other contributor was based on the first meeting and whether that was supposed to be a social-only, even if that is at the fems house. Everyone gets to that point in different ways and, it seems, you go about in similarly to me, and I would agree with you on that basis.

The point I was trying to make is that, regardless of location, if that meeting is clearly supposed to be social-only then it's rather arrogant to assume it will be something other than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As another single female I would say you are totally doing the right thing. I also have an arrangement with two long standing contacts that I tell them if I am meeting anyone new and all the details and keep in contact with them by text . I even have a panic word that if they receive it they know I have a problem. You can't be too careful as I have found out in the past. Stick to your guns girl

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"I even have a panic word that if they receive it they know I have a problem. You can't be too careful as I have found out in the past. Stick to your guns girl "

Is it kippers by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always ask for a social first, you never no who your meeting and if people dont like it well then its there loss lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not at all, even as a single guy I often text a friend to say where I'm going. In today's society we can never be too safe x"

I never think to bother to do that as there is only one person I trust and he could be anywhere in the country therefore no help at all

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By *ander_XMan
over a year ago

Greater Manchester

"As another single female I would say you are totally doing the right thing. I also have an arrangement with two long standing contacts that I tell them if I am meeting anyone new and all the details and keep in contact with them by text . I even have a panic word that if they receive it they know I have a problem. You can't be too careful as I have found out in the past. Stick to your guns girl "

Too right! I know a woman who was contacted by the crossbow cannibal on another popular dating site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so wrong that I expect as a single woman, to meet a guy socially first to ensure I feel comfortable and safe, before I decide on a play meet?

Just gets back to some men being totally fkin clueless about how to approach this site.

It also says a great deal about the individual if their only consideration is how quickly and easily they can get their rocks off rather than concentrating their efforts on making sex into better sex. A connection certainly does make a difference.

I don't buy into this attitude of 1 guys behaviour ruining it for everyone else though.

It says more about those making those statements than it does about those they are aimed at.

We all have a choice in who we meet and some people make more informed choices than others.

It's not always easy to say no to someone you fancy the arse off but sometimes it has to be done.

Unfortunately, we often see someone we like and pay scant attention to the back story and the way they interact with us, which is often where the clues lie in terms of what their motivation is and how they are likely to execute it.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"I'm not saying the guy isn't coming over for sex, what I am saying, is I'd like to make sure I feel safe in his company before being alone with him, besides which, in my opinion, sex gets better the more I get to know someone, the more comfortable I become, so if he's an arrogant arse who doesn't consider my feelings on the safety aspect, he wont be coming at all, let alone for sex."

I would of hoped guys would feel the same and want to meet ladies first socially to make sure she is also what he is looking for ( clean, etc).

I think you are spot on with your expectations, dont change them for anyone. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Too right! I know a woman who was contacted by the crossbow cannibal on another popular dating site

Exactly my point, I have had a guy on another site want to stab me, which is why I'm now on this site, I know a quick cuppa isn't going to tell you they are mad, but it does give you more of an idea if you are comfortable with them. We all take a risk in meeting "strangers" but we can at least try to be safe.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I would of hoped guys would feel the same and want to meet ladies first socially to make sure she is also what he is looking for ( clean, etc).

I think you are spot on with your expectations, dont change them for anyone. x

I have on my profile I'd consider someone a nut if they expected to meet me without a social meet!

Think about it, I'm a very large woman with handcuffs, gags, restraints and blindfolds. I could tie you to your bed and ransack your house.

Men need to be circumspect too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would of hoped guys would feel the same and want to meet ladies first socially to make sure she is also what he is looking for ( clean, etc).

I think you are spot on with your expectations, dont change them for anyone. x

I have on my profile I'd consider someone a nut if they expected to meet me without a social meet!

Think about it, I'm a very large woman with handcuffs, gags, restraints and blindfolds. I could tie you to your bed and ransack your house.

Men need to be circumspect too!"

Do you know of any gay doms Miss ?

I could do with someone with all that kit to tie me up and then rustle up a nice quiche and have a tidy round whilst it's in the oven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would of hoped guys would feel the same and want to meet ladies first socially to make sure she is also what he is looking for ( clean, etc).

I think you are spot on with your expectations, dont change them for anyone. x

I have on my profile I'd consider someone a nut if they expected to meet me without a social meet!

Think about it, I'm a very large woman with handcuffs, gags, restraints and blindfolds. I could tie you to your bed and ransack your house.

Men need to be circumspect too!

Do you know of any gay doms Miss ?

I could do with someone with all that kit to tie me up and then rustle up a nice quiche and have a tidy round whilst it's in the oven

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