Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was younger, I said I'd love to start a family at 25ish. Hoped to have a secure relationship, home and job. It happened 7 years earlier, so quickly had to settle down. Dont regret it one bit, i'm very lucky to have a beautiful son, as I cant have anymore x" I'm glad it worked out. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was 9 years old I decided I didn't want to have children." Do you still hold to that decision? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After babysitting a family friend's son when he was 2 weeks old. I was 18, and the experience put me off having kids. " I can't imagine a two week old putting anyone off - they're quite easy at that stage. No regrets? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"my plans were 28ish secure and settled.. it didn't pan out like that but i have 5 amazing kids who i wouldn't change one bit, regrets my choice of men." You had a plan and adapted but when did you make the decision that you wanted children, five of them, and knew that was part of your life plan? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was 9 years old I decided I didn't want to have children." wow that's awfully young to decide, did you stand by it? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've never wanted to be a parent and honestly don't think I'd ever choose to be, although if I was 'caught' pregnant I would have the child and no doubt love it to pieces. The thought of being a parent though fills me with fear and I don't think I've ever had a maternal thought in my life. Love my niece to pieces, but am always glad to take her home after she's spent the night! I know how that will sound to some, but that's just the way I feel x" That sounds honest. There are plenty of parents who shouldn't be simply because they never wanted to be and are not equipped to parent. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Eight years before it finally happened. To anyone out there struggling...id say never give up. " I had to but I'm glad it worked out for you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"my plans were 28ish secure and settled.. it didn't pan out like that but i have 5 amazing kids who i wouldn't change one bit, regrets my choice of men. You had a plan and adapted but when did you make the decision that you wanted children, five of them, and knew that was part of your life plan?" I can't remember not wanting to be a mummy. I never thought ide have more after my three girls but after my marriage break up i met my soul mate, after 4 years we wanted a child together | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Came off the pill just before we married at 23, moved away from London and bought a house at 24, pregnant at 25, gave birth at 26 " Tell a lie, pregnant at 26, had little one at 27 | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always been unsure of whether I want children. Now I know its going to be impossible naturally I'm erring towards wanting them. I just want to be able to make the decision for myself. Does that sound mental?" Not at all. One of the hardest choices I made was to have the hysterectomy as that meant I really would have to give up that choice. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always been unsure of whether I want children. Now I know its going to be impossible naturally I'm erring towards wanting them. I just want to be able to make the decision for myself. Does that sound mental?" Not at all...you'd never decided either way, but the option was always there if you wanted it. Now the choice has been taken away it's made you realise that you'd never ruled it out and you're thinking more consciously about it. There are always other options though should you decide you do want a child...even if it's not biologically yours you can still love a child like it is and they can/will feel the same in return x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Came off the pill just before we married at 23, moved away from London and bought a house at 24, pregnant at 25, gave birth at 26 Tell a lie, pregnant at 26, had little one at 27" A plan executed successfully. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've never wanted to be a parent and honestly don't think I'd ever choose to be, although if I was 'caught' pregnant I would have the child and no doubt love it to pieces. The thought of being a parent though fills me with fear and I don't think I've ever had a maternal thought in my life. Love my niece to pieces, but am always glad to take her home after she's spent the night! I know how that will sound to some, but that's just the way I feel x That sounds honest. There are plenty of parents who shouldn't be simply because they never wanted to be and are not equipped to parent." Keep getting told I'll meet 'the one' and suddenly change my mind, but I really can't see it myself | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was 9 years old I decided I didn't want to have children. wow that's awfully young to decide, did you stand by it?" It was an epiphany, I just knew I would never want them, and I was right. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always been unsure of whether I want children. Now I know its going to be impossible naturally I'm erring towards wanting them. I just want to be able to make the decision for myself. Does that sound mental? Not at all...you'd never decided either way, but the option was always there if you wanted it. Now the choice has been taken away it's made you realise that you'd never ruled it out and you're thinking more consciously about it. There are always other options though should you decide you do want a child...even if it's not biologically yours you can still love a child like it is and they can/will feel the same in return x" oh absolutely and any child I adopted would be the most loved child in the world. But its the fact that its been taken away before I was ready. I had a miscarriage at 18, that was my chance at a natural conception. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've never wanted to be a parent and honestly don't think I'd ever choose to be, although if I was 'caught' pregnant I would have the child and no doubt love it to pieces. The thought of being a parent though fills me with fear and I don't think I've ever had a maternal thought in my life. Love my niece to pieces, but am always glad to take her home after she's spent the night! I know how that will sound to some, but that's just the way I feel x That sounds honest. There are plenty of parents who shouldn't be simply because they never wanted to be and are not equipped to parent. Keep getting told I'll meet 'the one' and suddenly change my mind, but I really can't see it myself " A couple I know have just split as he wants children and she never has. He knew this when they got together but 8 years on she hasn't changed her mind. We have to be honest about these things - especially if it means bringing another life into the mix as they don't get the choice. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always wanted to be a parent so much... I hope I will be. x" Did you feel that as a child and found it has grown? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Came off the pill just before we married at 23, moved away from London and bought a house at 24, pregnant at 25, gave birth at 26 Tell a lie, pregnant at 26, had little one at 27 A plan executed successfully." Yes but just before I fell pregnant we had begun having blood tests and S had given a sperm sample as we were concerned it was taking a while. We conceived during a rigid schedule of ovulation tests and basal temperatures, not really a laugh a minute | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've never wanted to be a parent and honestly don't think I'd ever choose to be, although if I was 'caught' pregnant I would have the child and no doubt love it to pieces. The thought of being a parent though fills me with fear and I don't think I've ever had a maternal thought in my life. Love my niece to pieces, but am always glad to take her home after she's spent the night! I know how that will sound to some, but that's just the way I feel x That sounds honest. There are plenty of parents who shouldn't be simply because they never wanted to be and are not equipped to parent. Keep getting told I'll meet 'the one' and suddenly change my mind, but I really can't see it myself A couple I know have just split as he wants children and she never has. He knew this when they got together but 8 years on she hasn't changed her mind. We have to be honest about these things - especially if it means bringing another life into the mix as they don't get the choice." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always wanted to be a parent so much... I hope I will be. x Did you feel that as a child and found it has grown?" Oh god yes... when I found out I was pregnant.. It was amazing then I lost it and I have become almost obsessed....I may sound weird in saying that.. I hope not | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Came off the pill just before we married at 23, moved away from London and bought a house at 24, pregnant at 25, gave birth at 26 Tell a lie, pregnant at 26, had little one at 27 A plan executed successfully. Yes but just before I fell pregnant we had begun having blood tests and S had given a sperm sample as we were concerned it was taking a while. We conceived during a rigid schedule of ovulation tests and basal temperatures, not really a laugh a minute " That's unusual to go through those steps when so young. A hard earned outcome. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always wanted to be a parent so much... I hope I will be. x Did you feel that as a child and found it has grown? Oh god yes... when I found out I was pregnant.. It was amazing then I lost it and I have become almost obsessed....I may sound weird in saying that.. I hope not" Not at all. I understand that completely. I really don't think I would have put myself through 8 pregnancies if I hadn't been obsessed at some very fundamental level. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always wanted to be a parent so much... I hope I will be. x Did you feel that as a child and found it has grown? Oh god yes... when I found out I was pregnant.. It was amazing then I lost it and I have become almost obsessed....I may sound weird in saying that.. I hope not" No you don't sound weird at all. Really sorry to hear that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think anyone who is actively trying to conceive gets a bit obsessed with it, I know I did " Yes. It's true of most things you really want and actively seek to achieve. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was 9 years old I decided I didn't want to have children. wow that's awfully young to decide, did you stand by it? It was an epiphany, I just knew I would never want them, and I was right." I was told when I was a small child I always said I never wanted kids. And I still dont have any. Any regrets.... no. None at all. Dragon | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It took me 2 years to fall pregnant, I went to the doctors after about a year. Dr advised me about taking my temperature Daily. Like what you'd see on a sit com. A year later I finally fell. " I was told I'd never have children...met someone fell pregnant he fucked off.. I lost it.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When I was 9 years old I decided I didn't want to have children. wow that's awfully young to decide, did you stand by it? It was an epiphany, I just knew I would never want them, and I was right. I was told when I was a small child I always said I never wanted kids. And I still dont have any. Any regrets.... no. None at all. Dragon " It sounds so positive to know yourself so well. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was told I'd never have children...met someone fell pregnant he fucked off.. I lost it.. " I don't want to sound patronising or ignorant in anyway so please don't think I am. My heart truly does go out to you. But surely then it is possible? Doctors aren't always right. I'm not really religious although was raised as a Catholic, if there truly is a god ytf is he so cruel?! I do believe in fate, and everything happens for a reason. but don't lose hope, your time will come. I had 2 miscarriages so can genuinely understand and empathise | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Up until I was 40, I never wanted children. Now, I would seriously welcome fatherhood, but alas I realise that ship has sailed long ago. " joys of being a man,, i guess you dont like have a body clock like us females and so can still have children. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Up until I was 40, I never wanted children. Now, I would seriously welcome fatherhood, but alas I realise that ship has sailed long ago. joys of being a man,, i guess you dont like have a body clock like us females and so can still have children. " No, not in the sense of the female 'body clock'. But I have is the understanding that it becomes too late to be a father. I want to know that I have the chance to see my children grow up into adults and have lives of their own. To be a father to them for as long as possible. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For many years I didn't overly care one way or another. In my early 30's I'd found myself in a longterm relationship, she got pregnant and I was made up. Sadly it wasn't to be and at the time it destroyed me but ultimately it was the best thing to ever happen to me and chnged me massively for the better as a person. Now I am very much against the idea of fatherhood. My reasons are purely selfish. I don't want to risk putting myself through that pain again, I'm too old, and the realisation over time of how useless my own parents were and the fear I'd be as bad at it as they were." {x{x{x x}x}x} | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Up until I was 40, I never wanted children. Now, I would seriously welcome fatherhood, but alas I realise that ship has sailed long ago. joys of being a man,, i guess you dont like have a body clock like us females and so can still have children. No, not in the sense of the female 'body clock'. But I have is the understanding that it becomes too late to be a father. I want to know that I have the chance to see my children grow up into adults and have lives of their own. To be a father to them for as long as possible." This. I'm a year younger than you and I feel I'm too old. If I have a kid now they'll be in their teens when I'm hitting 60 and I do think that at this age fatherhood would be pretty selfish. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When did you decide you wanted to be a parent, or not?" I was told by my wife | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Up until I was 40, I never wanted children. Now, I would seriously welcome fatherhood, but alas I realise that ship has sailed long ago. joys of being a man,, i guess you dont like have a body clock like us females and so can still have children. No, not in the sense of the female 'body clock'. But I have is the understanding that it becomes too late to be a father. I want to know that I have the chance to see my children grow up into adults and have lives of their own. To be a father to them for as long as possible." I think if a man wants to be a father then he should regardless of his age... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have always been unsure of whether I want children. Now I know its going to be impossible naturally I'm erring towards wanting them. I just want to be able to make the decision for myself. Does that sound mental?" Not at all! After I had my second at 21 I had decided I didn't want anymore and surprisingly my consultant agreed to sterilise me. But not long before I was very ill and was told my tubes were so badly damaged I'd never have more children.....I was absolutely distraught. It was the fact I couldn't have any more, it was because the choice had been taken out of my hands. So my number three came along six years later we were a little shocked and surprised!! She's our little miracle | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No regrets what so ever. In fact I congratulate myself all the time for making that decision. Pets are so much easier to live with than kids. " your right pets are much easier than kids and just as much fun. i think a lot of people have kids when they are not sure if they realy want them, they have them because they think its the thing to do, that they are meant to have them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thank you all for your stories, particularly from the men that have contributed. It was the fact of a male friend ending a relationship because his need to try and become a father has grown so large that prompted this thread." Thats quite touching.... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I decided not to have children while going through education and having my first few jobs. Having had a good career for a few years, having travelled a lot through work etc I did not so much decide that it was time to have them - it was more a matter of not worrying about becoming pregnant. Perhaps that relaxed attitude was conducive in getting pregnant really quickly, not sure. Either way, it was a decision not to worry about having children rather than a conscious "lets try for them now" for me." But you knew you wanted to be a parent? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I decided not to have children while going through education and having my first few jobs. Having had a good career for a few years, having travelled a lot through work etc I did not so much decide that it was time to have them - it was more a matter of not worrying about becoming pregnant. Perhaps that relaxed attitude was conducive in getting pregnant really quickly, not sure. Either way, it was a decision not to worry about having children rather than a conscious "lets try for them now" for me. But you knew you wanted to be a parent? " To be honest, I did not really know. It was not that I desperately wanted or not wanted children - I enjoyed my life, my career and when I fell pregnant it was kind of by accident (I was using some contraception at the time) but when I found out I was very happy about it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |