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"I have tried it twice. The first (a man) was so flabbergasted by what had happened to me he simply didn’t know what to say. The second, a woman, responded a little better, but something about her seemed off, and so I only saw her twice. I didn’t bother trying with anyone else. I have spoken to a couple of others, friends I thought I could trust who have some empathy. Turns out I was wrong about that too, so now my story just stays buttoned up. Xx" | |||
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"I have talk therapy on a regular basis. Opposite sex therapist. I did a lot of research and reading on the available options local to me before having a trial session and seemed to find a good fit first try for that. I tried online and phone sessions prior to that but I couldn't connect with the person on the other side that way. I tried CBT but it was all things I already do and at the time I needed help there wasn't anything in that that could help me. Some days feel like hitting my head against a brick wall. Some rare days there's an immediate clarity. Most times I take away the questions and external view point and let them gestate and progress in the peripherals until I'm ready to deal with the questions they raise. I find it very helpful overall. I would recommend it " I’ve only ever done therapy with a same sex therapist, but think I’d like a male therapist knowing I would definitely get overly attached but hoping it would be safely and in a way I could get some breakthrough clarity. If that makes sense! | |||
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"I think it's really valuable to investigate and learn about the types of therapy that exist. You can narrow down your search for the types that seem right for you, before finding the person. " I’ve always had a tendency towards transactional analysis. | |||
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"No I haven’t I wouldn’t But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it." Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx | |||
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"No I haven’t I wouldn’t But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it. Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx" Professionally speaking… | |||
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"No I haven’t I wouldn’t But I’m definitely not against it for others xxx in fact I encourage it. Misty xxx you are a therapist xxxx Professionally speaking… " Visually | |||
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"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)? Talk to me. " Yes, I've had talking therapy twice. Twenty years ago I went through a bad time with my second wife and we went to Relate who, as part of their advice, said psychotherapy might be useful for me. I did some online research and found a lady local to me who I saw for four years during which time my wife and I were divorced. I never did get to the bottom of my obsession with threesomes! That series ended when I met my third wife. After some years, it was obvious that our sexual appetites were mis-matched and so we sought help from a therapist specialising in couples'sexual problems. That ended up with me joining Fab with my wife's consent, and the rest as they say is history I'm a great believer in talking as therapy. I also think women are naturally more empathetic than most men so would always prefer a woman. I did not have any transference experience. Co-incidentally, I'm currently planning to take bereavement counselling which is basically the same sort of thing but for a specific purpose. | |||
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"I have had therapy in the past. It was CBT focused. If I was to go again I think I would seek out an IFS practitioner. " Oh! And to answer the rest of the question, my counsellor was an older man, I don’t believe there was any transference. I have also had couples counselling with a woman, but that wasn’t very helpful. | |||
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"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)? Talk to me. " Years ago yes, was reluctant to go as i thought I was ok. But found it really helpful, after each session I felt a little less like I was carrying a big rock or maybe it was eroded by the tears during .. One to one with a fantastic lady and something like transference just never entered my head.. It was a bit of a Rubicon moment as previously my mindset was rufty tufty ex military blokes working in one of the emergency services just got on with shit.. | |||
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"I think it's really valuable to investigate and learn about the types of therapy that exist. You can narrow down your search for the types that seem right for you, before finding the person. I’ve always had a tendency towards transactional analysis. " Transactional Analysis is interesting and I like the Berne's Games People Play book, which I have gifted to quite a few friends The various therapies are so different, it's amazing that we have such choice | |||
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"Talk therapy is something I need to do / look into. Speaking to folks I know that have had cbt therapy, I don't think it will work as well as talk therapy for my issues. I've diagnosed myself with arrested development.." I. Am. Resisting. The. Urge. *…everyday people! Damn. Apologies. I all seriousness, hope you find someone that works for you. | |||
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"I've had a truckload of therapy. Several different counsellors and two psychologists who provided CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). CBT is what's stayed with me over the years but counselling has helped me cope with particular situations eg PND. " I've worked with men and women and have no preference. There's only one person who was quite combative with me. I just didn't return and asked for someone else. | |||
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"I am in need of a therapist, someone i can chat and talk openly with as my life is a mess " Hugs ... feel free to message if you need a chat x | |||
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"I am in need of a therapist, someone i can chat and talk openly with as my life is a mess " You have taken the 1st step xxx | |||
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"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions. Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male. . I woukd recommend it. " Is this the eye movement therapy? | |||
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"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)? I've had emdr and brain spotting therapy for my childhood traumas. I find it easier to talk to a female therapist, due to the nature of my childhood traumas. I haven't developed feeling for them past I like them for the person they are and admire the role they have taken on, as it's an intense and draining role to burden. It takes a very special soul to be able to listen to others burdens and help them find their way through it. At least that's my opinion of the matter Talk to me. " | |||
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"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions. Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male. . I woukd recommend it. Is this the eye movement therapy?" Yes. The body keeps the score is a good book to read of you wish to understand more in this process | |||
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"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions. Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male. . I woukd recommend it. " I would recommend this too. Amazing for PTSD or any kind of trauma as we carry it in our bodies without even realising it. I've seen amazing results with help the hero's veterans, long covid patient and in hospice care, | |||
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"i was going to group therapy with other men, it’s called andy’s man club, but due to personal circumstances I can’t make the sessions now so i’m looking for a 1-2-1 therapist, this is to help me deal with bereavement and suicidal thoughts." Self refer to your local IAPT service, look online for cruise, the good grief project or sue ryder. Hope you get the help that you need. Hang in there, it gets easier. | |||
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"Ive been having a psychotherapy session every week for a couple of months now - it’s completely changed my life, helped me get a new job, new car, given me more confidence - would 100% recommend anyone to try it. It can be a bit ‘out there’, but with an open mind it’s really powerful. I do spend half of my time in the sessions fantasizing about fucking my older female therapist though " Then get a new therapist. I am not joking. Her safety is as important as anyone elses. She is a professional giving you help and will have worked to build a professional therapeutic relationship - maybe keep your mind on your own self improvement. | |||
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"Ive been having a psychotherapy session every week for a couple of months now - it’s completely changed my life, helped me get a new job, new car, given me more confidence - would 100% recommend anyone to try it. It can be a bit ‘out there’, but with an open mind it’s really powerful. I do spend half of my time in the sessions fantasizing about fucking my older female therapist though Then get a new therapist. I am not joking. Her safety is as important as anyone elses. She is a professional giving you help and will have worked to build a professional therapeutic relationship - maybe keep your mind on your own self improvement." I'll disagree with this. Telling my therapist when I was 25 that I had sexual fantasies about her was the biggest single key to unlocking my heavily repressed sexuality. A good therapist welcomes this as material to explore, whilst still maintaining a distance, and probing what you are thinking and feeling. I gained insights that were beyond the intellectual, and moved into a "lived incorporation" of desire into my life. Understanding a client will form sexual attachments to therapists is part of the training, and moving through that release of desire is positive. | |||
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"Have you undertaken therapy? Would you? If so, is there a specific type of therapy you think is best for you? Would you have a same sex therapist or not? Have you ever had transference with a therapist (when you attach your feelings onto the therapist)? Talk to me. " Yes. 7 years, 3 times a week. I am now cured! I would suggest some kind of longer term, more frequent, probably psychoanalytic based therapy. There are no quick cures, despite what some therapies would have you believe. If you choose the therapist with care (experience, qualifications, registered with professional bodies, insurance etc) then you trust that they will help you manage the relationship. Including any feelings of transference (by the way, this is managed by the therapist. You just have to experience it). The hardest part of ‘therapy’ is committing to it and sticking with the uncomfortable feelings. Your anxieties about the sex of the therapist might be a communication that you could share with your therapist. I assume you already know that it is fucking expensive. Good luck. | |||
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"I have had EMDR therapy - two sets of sessions. Was moderately effective, first set with female therapist and second with male. . I woukd recommend it. Is this the eye movement therapy?" Yes it is | |||
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"I've had therapy of various forms. Some modalities are designed for specific issues like EMDR for PTSD. In a general sense I can recommend a therapist whose core training is person-centred. They understand that counselling is primarily about listening rather than being directive. Gestalt therapists also have a very similar approach. They can both be particularly good for people who didn't find CBT helpful. Therapy should leave one feeling self-empowered and able to say I don't need this relationship anymore, as a goal. Issues like transference occur and a therapist ought to be able to manage it effectively and create a space where a client can talk about it openly. It can become a tool rather than a barrier then. I've had good male and female therapists. If you are on here it may be worth looking for one who is kink or enm/poly aware. " The counsellor I'm seeing is a person centred practitioner and she seems very open minded and understanding about our lifestyle, not that that is the object of the sessions. I'm about 3/4 sessions in. She'd the second person I've seen, the first left the organisation after two sessions, having cancelled and rearranged the second session in any case. I nearly gave up because I'd just opened the brain-box labelled "do not touch", Pandora's box had flowed out and then at the end of session 2, she said "this is our last session and you'll have to go back on the waiting list." Thankfully, the second therapist became available reasonably quickly, quickly enough for me not to make a rash decision to quit it and actually, she seems to be a much better fit for me anyway and the venue is easier to get to, and into! It even has a wheelchair accessible toilet, which the other did not | |||
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" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation. " Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships? | |||
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" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation. Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships?" Metaphorical fit, I think. | |||
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"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps. I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days. Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy. Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse. So it’s great to see the cycle being broken " I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII. | |||
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" I know at least one person who has benefitted from the MIND programme - her therapist was a near perfect fit, and they stayed together after the therapist's graduation. Is that not in breach of the professional body's Ethical Framework re client/therapist relationships? Metaphorical fit, I think. " I was being an arse | |||
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"I've had therapy of various forms. Some modalities are designed for specific issues like EMDR for PTSD. In a general sense I can recommend a therapist whose core training is person-centred. They understand that counselling is primarily about listening rather than being directive. Gestalt therapists also have a very similar approach. They can both be particularly good for people who didn't find CBT helpful. Therapy should leave one feeling self-empowered and able to say I don't need this relationship anymore, as a goal. Issues like transference occur and a therapist ought to be able to manage it effectively and create a space where a client can talk about it openly. It can become a tool rather than a barrier then. I've had good male and female therapists. If you are on here it may be worth looking for one who is kink or enm/poly aware. The counsellor I'm seeing is a person centred practitioner and she seems very open minded and understanding about our lifestyle, not that that is the object of the sessions. I'm about 3/4 sessions in. She'd the second person I've seen, the first left the organisation after two sessions, having cancelled and rearranged the second session in any case. I nearly gave up because I'd just opened the brain-box labelled "do not touch", Pandora's box had flowed out and then at the end of session 2, she said "this is our last session and you'll have to go back on the waiting list." Thankfully, the second therapist became available reasonably quickly, quickly enough for me not to make a rash decision to quit it and actually, she seems to be a much better fit for me anyway and the venue is easier to get to, and into! It even has a wheelchair accessible toilet, which the other did not " Sounds peculiar the first experience, I am glad it didn't put you off. I found it helped me greatly and my wife (who'd pretty much had the works) said it was by far the best modality for her. The relationship with the counsellor is important - so getting the right fit for you is ideal. | |||
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"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps. I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days. Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy. Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse. So it’s great to see the cycle being broken I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII. " Bloody nora. We agree on something I think some of my family trauma stems from the lack of processing and dealing with the Holocaust impact. My Grandma never spoke about it. My Dad only learned more about it after she died (post 1998) and I've done more research and found out loads. Grandma must have been harbouring a LOT of trauma. In addition to family being murdered, her sister committed suicide and she had a baby who died as an infant, all within the same 8 years. | |||
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"I haven’t but I have very good listeners and advisers I can talk to about anything and also strong faith that helps. I think it’s great that so many consider therapy these days. Someone very close to me is a clinical psychologist & tells me that many of the mental health problems in young adults today are a result of generations of parents and grandparents refusing to acknowledge & deal with their own problems and seek therapy. Their own bias against therapy and belief in resilience making the problems even worse. So it’s great to see the cycle being broken I had a supervisor who suggested that the trauma can be traced back to WWII. Bloody nora. We agree on something I think some of my family trauma stems from the lack of processing and dealing with the Holocaust impact. My Grandma never spoke about it. My Dad only learned more about it after she died (post 1998) and I've done more research and found out loads. Grandma must have been harbouring a LOT of trauma. In addition to the family being murdered, her sister committed suicide and she had a baby who died as an infant, all within the same 8 years. " Amazing story of life. Did you travel to find your roots? Where? | |||
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