FabSwingers.com forum: Menopause

By *wingcouple2019 OP Couple
45 weeks ago

lincolnshire

MENOPAUSE any other ladies on here who have also suffered loss of sexual feelings through menopause please share your experience with me.

Although initially I didn’t lose sex drive I did eventually because I don’t get the same intense feelings while having sex, my body doesn’t respond the same anymore which in turn has caused me to lose sex drive as I know I won’t be able to enjoy them feelings and satisfaction as before no matter how good the partner or play mate may be. Orgasm isn’t intense as the climax of sexual excitement isn’t there. Any you ladies experience the same if so is there anything out there to help with restoring and re-awakening the body, I really miss sex and hope to god internal feelings will return. Hopefully some tried and proven solutions will come forth.

Note: Guys please no uneducated advice and please no suggestions that you could probably get me going again as your good with your tongue!

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By *cottish guy 555Man
45 weeks ago

London

A podcast I listen to suggested paying a couple of hundred quid to see a specialist. They were much better informed than a GP. I've suggested the same to my wife.

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By *wingcouple2019 OP Couple
45 weeks ago

lincolnshire

Has she spoken with them

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

I think i one of the symptoms that HRT treats is loss of libido, with a chat with your GP

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By *ellinever70Woman
45 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Do you perhaps have unrealistic expectations of the menopause and your sex life?

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By *iss DevilWoman
45 weeks ago

Bedford

So far, I have not lost the orgasms but a lot of the times, I can't be bothered with sex. Or just can't be bothered going through the bs I get fed on here. Luckily, I have enough people in my life to keep me well entertained if and when I want to.

Also, I am already on HRT patches, and even though they are not helping with my sex drive (as maybe there is nothing wrong with it), they did help with sore boobs and dryness. As I guess I am at the very beginning of this journey, I may need different or stronger HRT.

Do have a chat with your GP, some of them are very supportive.

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
45 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I would also say that it's worth trying to establish whether your GP surgery has any doctors with a specialism/interest in Menopause and Women's health. If so, insist on seeing that doctor rather than your normal GP. It's also worth reading up and going armed with information so you don't get fobbed off if you can't see a menopause specialist.

Dr Louise Newson is a renowned name in menopause research and treatment - she has a private clinic and has published some really easy to read and very informative books - I used her knowledge to talk to my menopause doctor and have never looked back.

But she does a huge amount of social media stuff - @menopause_doctor.

It's worth following her and joining some of her live streams as she has some fantastic free advice. I think she may have a YouTube channel too, but I don't really use YouTube so can't be entirely confident on that.

Hope you find some balance and some way back to 'you' soon. Big hugs.

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By *wingcouple2019 OP Couple
45 weeks ago

lincolnshire

Thank you x i’m on max HRT mood swings and depression has levelled out not perfect but much better. Long way to go though x

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By *wingcouple2019 OP Couple
45 weeks ago

lincolnshire

Thank you I will definitely check that out xxx

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By *cottish guy 555Man
45 weeks ago

London

Our GP has been helpful and the treatment regime has changed but I still think she should see a specialist.

She's not happy at spending the cash.

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By *om and JennieCouple
45 weeks ago

Chams or Socials

I’ve had a few chemically induced menopause - 1st ages 19 using Norethisterone for 6 months before being diagnosed with grade 1 cervical cancer then in 2017 with Prostap injections (a prostate cancer drug) every 4 weeks with HRT for 18 months before a hysterectomy.

My sex drive disappeared. But I’m also taking antidepressants. I stopped taking them recently for 4 weeks & I went into a sexual overdrive but my mental health suffered. I had to decide why was more important & mental health won

J x

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By *inky duo 100Couple
45 weeks ago

Lancaster

My sex drive vanished with the arrival of the menopause too, I was put on hrt patches and that helped with the hot sweats, moods, depression etc but still no sex drive .. I persisted for a few years then went back to my GP who then put me on testosterone gel ( just a very tiny amount on your arm ) and within 3 months my sex drive was back and it also seems to help with moods it's a game changer ...

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
45 weeks ago

Next Door

OP have you had blood test to check you are absorbing the hrt?

I've was on the gel for 18mths + and no really change in symptoms,sex drive went about 2yrs ago. Was referred to local gynae and got told to up the gel and still not much of an improvement. Had blood test just before Xmas and found out I was not absorbing the gel. Now on a spray,and having a blood check next week and follow up at menopause clinic at the end of the month.

I do feel better in myself and getting the urge again to have sex.

The downside currently is the weight gain from different hormones.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Menopause/peri is an absolute turd!

HRT has balanced my emotional seesaw relatively well. Along with vitamin supplements it also seems to have curbed the thinning of my previously luscious locks.

However. It’s done beetle all for my libido which has taken a very purposeful sprint over the horizon along with my sexual self confidence. It’s not just that I feel a lot less physically attractive, the genuinely ‘can’t be arsed’ factor is huge. And when I can be arsed, I over think my dwindling attractiveness and talk myself out of it!

I did talk to my brilliant practice nurse at my GP surgery about libido (possibly the most crushingly cringe convo ever), but there wasn’t a medical solution she was able to offer.

Watching this thread in the hope of handy hints from fellow fab lasses of a certain age (and inwardly questioning that I may have turned this thread into something akin to Mumsnet

)

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

Talk to your GP about it. I’ve heard somewhere that testosterone gel can help but I could be wrong on that

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
45 weeks ago

Basingstoke

"My sex drive vanished with the arrival of the menopause too, I was put on hrt patches and that helped with the hot sweats, moods, depression etc but still no sex drive .. I persisted for a few years then went back to my GP who then put me on testosterone gel ( just a very tiny amount on your arm ) and within 3 months my sex drive was back and it also seems to help with moods it's a game changer ... "

Lucky you! Testosterone isn't currently licenced in England for female HRT, so very few GPs even consider it, let alone will prescribe it.

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By *inky duo 100Couple
45 weeks ago

Lancaster

[Removed by poster at 12/02/24 12:55:06]

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By *wingcouple2019 OP Couple
45 weeks ago

lincolnshire

Everybody (well apart from one male??) thank you all for sharing xxx

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By *ornishgandsCouple
45 weeks ago

St Ives, Cornwall

OP, there is an app by Newson Health

Hopefully I’m allowed to post the name of app as it’s not swinging related, it’s called balance, you can track symptoms, there are articles and a community to ask these sorts of questions.

Best wishes xx

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By *lder.Woman
45 weeks ago

Not Local

I couldnt say currently how my body would respond to actual sex, as I have no desire for it really at the moment. Which is a change I don't really like. I sort of have to schedule in giving myself an orgasm, as I read if you 'don't use it you lose it'. The feelings have definitely changed for me, and I feel the orgasm more as an internal thing than external and internal if that makes any sense. I dont have any answers either, Im on hrt but it doesnt seem to have done a great deal.

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By *icassolifelikeMan
45 weeks ago

Luton

Manopause is worse!

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
45 weeks ago

Wirral.

My sex drive is higher now that I'm in menopause, though the orgasm is harder to reach.

My problem is the constant overheating and sweaty face/head means I just don't feel desirable.

Been on HRT for 18mths and think I need to change it. Again! X

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By *a LunaWoman
45 weeks ago

South Wales

"I couldnt say currently how my body would respond to actual sex, as I have no desire for it really at the moment. Which is a change I don't really like. I sort of have to schedule in giving myself an orgasm, as I read if you 'don't use it you lose it'. The feelings have definitely changed for me, and I feel the orgasm more as an internal thing than external and internal if that makes any sense. I dont have any answers either, Im on hrt but it doesnt seem to have done a great deal. "

This for me too.

I’m perimenopausal (only had two periods last year, beginning of the year and the end) but because of a family history of cancer I was advised not to have HRT. Instead I was put on medication (antidepressant) for my raging anxiety and that in itself was a game changer. But all other symptoms I’ve just had to get on with.

I have no sex drive, no desire. But I can feel horny under the right circumstance (if that makes sense?) so I can (and have) orgasmed, but as Alder said above, it’s more to do with not wanting the adverse consequences that going without can bring.

To be honest I’m just glad to be going through it as a singleton.

No idea how I’d be on any other medication.

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By (user no longer on site)
45 weeks ago

After tearing myself during sex recently and discovering it was largely due to thinning vaginal tissue, I started HRT. It was suggested by my private GP that I could be perimenopausal as it can start ten years before menopause. I was simply looking for ways to address painful sex.

I was prescribed an oestrogen transdermal patch, oral progesterone, vaginal oestrogen pessaries, and topical testosterone. I’ve had to increase the oestrogen patch dosage and testosterone. For once, I have combatted insomnia, and brain fog which I thought were both post COVID symptoms for me. Sex pain has also resolved. According to my GP every woman from mid 30s onwards benefits from HRT as our bodies will suffer far greater with the natural decrease of hormones from perimenopause and through menopause.

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By *lizabethhotMan
39 weeks ago

Norton

Hi ladies .. HELP NEEDED PLS !!.. as a man with a darling wife who I love beyond anything ... I think she's going through the perimenipous .. she's booked in at doctors in 3 weeks as that's the earliest .. does the Holland & barrett supplements carry the same drugs that the doctors will prescribe her after her blood tests ?? She's having mood swings ..depressed .. sleep pattern is buggered so that's making her tired .. I reluctant to say this as she will kill me but her body has changed around her tummy area .. she hates me .. if she could she would punch me .. life is torture for me and that's coming from a guy who lives his wife too high heavens .. ladies pls give me advice on any thing I can buy over the counter for the time being .. thank you x

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By *lizabethhotMan
39 weeks ago

Norton

"Hi ladies .. HELP NEEDED PLS !!.. as a man with a darling wife who I love beyond anything ... I think she's going through the perimenipous .. she's booked in at doctors in 3 weeks as that's the earliest .. does the Holland & barrett supplements carry the same drugs that the doctors will prescribe her after her blood tests ?? She's having mood swings ..depressed .. sleep pattern is buggered so that's making her tired .. I reluctant to say this as she will kill me but her body has changed around her tummy area .. she hates me .. if she could she would punch me .. life is torture for me and that's coming from a guy who lives his wife too high heavens .. ladies pls give me advice on any thing I can buy over the counter for the time being .. thank you x"

Just to keep the peace for who ever thinks I'm bothered about my wife's weight/belly I'd just like to add that no matter what weight she carries today or in future or what shit she gives me I will love her no matter what .. thank you

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
39 weeks ago

Next Door

Since having changed from the gel to the spray, in Jan. my overall well being has improved so much, except for sex drive. I haven't felt so well in many years.

I've been on testosterone for nearly 3wks now and for the past 10 days, I've been horny all the time.

I think I've finally been put on the correct mix.

I highly recommend getting your female hormones checked via blood tests.

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By *sWyldWoman
39 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I've no real advice or pearls of wisdom as Perimenopause is currently kicking my ass.

What I would say is that lots of support and advice is available out there. Even employers are now holding support groups and HSE are even pushing it as something to be considered. We need to talk about it more.

The game changer for me has been recording my symptoms, (you can download an NHS symptom tracker online) taking that to my GP rather than thinking I'm just going mad.

Some surgeries have menopause specialists which is brilliant.

Talk to your friends and you soon realise it's never just you and it becomes a huge source of support too. (that for the men too)

Hope everyone finds things that work for them.

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By *N4funCouple
39 weeks ago

Manchester

"MENOPAUSE any other ladies on here who have also suffered loss of sexual feelings through menopause please share your experience with me.

Note: Guys please no uneducated advice and please no suggestions that you could probably get me going again as your good with your tongue!"

N is exactly the same, we just go with the flow and don't try to force anything.

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By *ellinever70Woman
39 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I highly recommend getting your female hormones checked via blood tests.

That's not standard practice up here

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By *lizabethhotMan
38 weeks ago

Norton

LEFT ME N DIVORCING ME .... devastated .. heartbroken ..cried 3 days .. family going through torment .. drank 200 pints lol but it's getting easier every fucking day ..

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Not had sex in nearly 2 years that should tell you everything my sex drive has gone on strike haha. I still climax during self play with my awesome toys. I’m personally going through the time going up to the menopause known as perimenopause as my period is still coming be it irregular.

Maybe look into HRT but that has side affects in itself. Educate yourself there are podcasts and books aimed at this very issue. Good luck

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
38 weeks ago

Next Door

I highly recommend getting your female hormones checked via blood tests.

That's not standard practice up here "

I don't think it's standard practice at gp surgeries but if no improvement on hrt, then it could be that your body isn't absorbing that type of hrt.

Definitely worth pushing for if they are going to refer you to a menopause clinic.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I am as horny as ever and enjoyed sex. Just curvier than I was and that makes me self conscious body wise.

I am on HRT ... other medication can effect your libido and enjoyment of sex. Some antidepressants do that.

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