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"No. No. Definitely yes. " How did you handle/cope with that? The latter response, obviously! | |||
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"You are my waffling nemesis Meli "Ha yes! We do waffle awfully. Maybe we should tone it down. Hmmm. | |||
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"Have you ever seen someone on Fab as competition? Do you ever feel threatened by another person? Or has someone ever treated you like you're competition? " I long for the day that someone would consider me 'competition'. But no. I'm not sure how that would work on Fab though - competing for what? | |||
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"You are my waffling nemesis Meli
Ha yes! We do waffle awfully. Maybe we should tone it down. Hmmm. "Nay, we must precisely up our game and augment our combined verbosity ten fold in order to beat the final Fab boss and in doing so, simultaneously reach the exalted zenith of spiritual enlightenment….or something like that   | |||
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"No. Occasionally, but probably not in the way the question was intended. Yes." In what way was it different from the way the question intended? How did you handle the question you said yes to? | |||
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"No. Occasionally, but probably not in the way the question was intended. Yes. In what way was it different from the way the question intended? How did you handle the question you said yes to?" As in actual physical threats as opposed to a threat to my position with someone I care about. Not much I can do about it. I can offer gentle reassurance, but if someone believes I'm competing for the same thing then they're likely to take that as me trying to get them off guard as opposed to a genuine well wish | |||
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"Absolutely not to the first two questions and if they have treated me that way it went over my head. The day I feel the need to compete with someone on here is the day I should leave. Em x" I don't know about the last point. It's something I was discussing today during a good old catch up. People are human and flawed and the soft side of me always tries to remember that. | |||
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"No. No. Definitely yes. How did you handle/cope with that? The latter response, obviously!" I've never once seen fab as a competition because I wouldn't even know who I was competing against. All men? All 58 year old men? All 58 year old men in my area? For that reason I've never seen anyone as a threat either. I have however had comments directed at me in the forums and personal questions about me asked of people I have verified by men I can only assume viewed me as direct competition. I've also been approached by 3 random women at a group social, none of whom I had every spoken to before but who had all been verified by a man I had challenged in chatgroups in regard to his predatory history. The women in question were all trying to find out my real name and get contact details. I dealt with it by ignoring them. | |||
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"Not competition as such, however I do know that there are some people I wouldn't want to follow. Not sure how much sense that makes! " Erm very little but I think my bed is calling me. What do you mean? | |||
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"Not competition as such, however I do know that there are some people I wouldn't want to follow. Not sure how much sense that makes! Erm very little but I think my bed is calling me. What do you mean?"I know exactly what that means, if I know, somebody has met a certain person, and I see that person and think they’re God like in appearance. , I’d be reluctant to even message the person I liked  | |||
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"Absolutely not to the first two questions and if they have treated me that way it went over my head. The day I feel the need to compete with someone on here is the day I should leave. Em x I don't know about the last point. It's something I was discussing today during a good old catch up. People are human and flawed and the soft side of me always tries to remember that. " That's true. The little moments of envy are going to happen but to full on compete with another woman wouldn't be for me. | |||
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"You are my waffling nemesis Meli
Ha yes! We do waffle awfully. Maybe we should tone it down. Hmmm.
Nay, we must precisely up our game and augment our combined verbosity ten fold in order to beat the final Fab boss and in doing so, simultaneously reach the exalted zenith of spiritual enlightenment….or something like that " I'm going to try stoicism...
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"You are my waffling nemesis Meli
Ha yes! We do waffle awfully. Maybe we should tone it down. Hmmm.
Nay, we must precisely up our game and augment our combined verbosity ten fold in order to beat the final Fab boss and in doing so, simultaneously reach the exalted zenith of spiritual enlightenment….or something like that
I'm going to try stoicism...
"Try the Daily Stoic
Mr | |||
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"Not competition as such, however I do know that there are some people I wouldn't want to follow. Not sure how much sense that makes! Erm very little but I think my bed is calling me. What do you mean?
I know exactly what that means, if I know, somebody has met a certain person, and I see that person and think they’re God like in appearance. , I’d be reluctant to even message the person I liked "Yup that's exactly it Woody! Could be their looks, could even be their personalty or interactions I've seen them have with each other that would feed my insecurity too much probably | |||
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"Not competition as such, however I do know that there are some people I wouldn't want to follow. Not sure how much sense that makes! Erm very little but I think my bed is calling me. What do you mean?
I know exactly what that means, if I know, somebody has met a certain person, and I see that person and think they’re God like in appearance. , I’d be reluctant to even message the person I liked "Oh I see! Right, I get it. I was watching erm... well a particular porn thing this weekend. I won't name it. And as I was watching it I recognised someone and then I remembered from where. If I'd seen that clip before, I think I'd possibly not have met my friend. He told me I was an utter fanny.
So yes, I can understand that. | |||
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"I think from my perspective the competition is every other single male within X miles, but its not personal competition, its just the game I suppose" Yes; charge it to the game. | |||
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Im not competition to anyone else. | |||
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*I'm joking, there's enough fun to be had by everyone without making it competitive | |||
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"Nah. There’s no competition. A lady either is interested in me or she isn’t. That’s the game" | |||
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"Have you ever seen someone on Fab as competition? Do you ever feel threatened by another person? Or has someone ever treated you like you're competition? " Not since Fabulous and bearded buggered off. Never threatened, although he did meet us brandishing a rather intimidating baguette he’d brought as a gift! No comment. | |||
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"No. Occasionally, but probably not in the way the question was intended. Yes. In what way was it different from the way the question intended? How did you handle the question you said yes to? As in actual physical threats as opposed to a threat to my position with someone I care about. Not much I can do about it. I can offer gentle reassurance, but if someone believes I'm competing for the same thing then they're likely to take that as me trying to get them off guard as opposed to a genuine well wish "Oh fuck, that's awful. Ach that's true. It'll be interpreted from that same place so it perhaps won't be taken particularly well. | |||
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"1) My Dad 2) My Dad 3) My Dad....
Mr "Your dad is on Fab or he's just competitive with you in real life? Families can be an odd thing. My little sister will always be in some form of competition with me and I have no idea why. Daft really. | |||
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"1) My Dad 2) My Dad 3) My Dad....
Mr
Your dad is on Fab or he's just competitive with you in real life?
Families can be an odd thing. My little sister will always be in some form of competition with me and I have no idea why. Daft really. "Nah he he ain't on fab Meli... And to answer your orginial Op.. No No If they are I wouldn't know as they'd never tell me.... Mr | |||
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"Absolutely not to the first two questions and if they have treated me that way it went over my head. The day I feel the need to compete with someone on here is the day I should leave. Em x I don't know about the last point. It's something I was discussing today during a good old catch up. People are human and flawed and the soft side of me always tries to remember that. That's true. The little moments of envy are going to happen but to full on compete with another woman wouldn't be for me. " Yes. I think it's natural for people to feel envious or insecure sometimes and you can give them space and be gracious with how you handle that. It's not like we don't care or think or feel. Competing isn't for me either, I've not felt the urge to (unless in a work environment because that's okay in my mind. ). | |||
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"No. I’ve not seen anyone as competition, I do have respect and boundaries around other’s sensitivity and try to be mindful with those I actually meet. I flirt with everyone openly but that doesn’t necessarily translate to anything irl. I don’t think anyone has seen me as competition, but I have been warned off certain people through unsolicited DMs and I have had people upset if I flirted with someone they liked tell me that. It’s tricky because the last thing I want to do is upset someone but I also want to enjoy what I enjoy. I’ve also had someone ask if I’d be sensitive if they met a very close friend of mine, I was totally fine and told them it’s entirely up to them and my friend and absolutely nothing to do with me! Competition is a word that doesn’t work for me as I just think we’re all unique and fun and how can anyone compare and how ridiculous that is. Hope that makes sense! " Yes, of course it does. It's from you. I get it - being mindful of those your meeting, their boundaries and just showing a basic level of respect to potential sensitivities is important. I've been a bit erm worried about something coming up, well a friend and I have been.
I think people get worried about things affecting their current dynamics/relationships and how that manifests itself can vary wildly. Everyone is different but it can be easy to lose sight of that - you could feel as if someone is competition if they're getting more attention than you and yours from the person is fading.
That's a poor example but it's late! | |||
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"Have you ever seen someone on Fab as competition? Do you ever feel threatened by another person? Or has someone ever treated you like you're competition? Not since Fabulous and bearded buggered off. Never threatened, although he did meet us brandishing a rather intimidating baguette he’d brought as a gift! No comment. " The urge to WA you is strong but you'd be expecting that so I'll resist. | |||
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"I don't really see others as competition or threatened by them, but I do find it hard to not compare myself to others whether that's on the forums or reading verifications they've received. I hope no one has felt the need to treat me as competetion, mainly because there's no way they'd stand a chance*
*I'm joking, there's enough fun to be had by everyone without making it competitive "Oh Joe. I like your honesty a lot.
Yes, competition is different from comparing and finding yourself lacking. Or thinking you are. Confession time - sometimes I think 'oh maybe I'm not good enough'. Not that others are competition, no. It's far more internally reflected than that. A good head wobble normally sorts me out. Or examining why I think I'm not.
Nobody could stand a chance against your cougarnip. | |||
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"No. I’ve not seen anyone as competition, I do have respect and boundaries around other’s sensitivity and try to be mindful with those I actually meet. I flirt with everyone openly but that doesn’t necessarily translate to anything irl. I don’t think anyone has seen me as competition, but I have been warned off certain people through unsolicited DMs and I have had people upset if I flirted with someone they liked tell me that. It’s tricky because the last thing I want to do is upset someone but I also want to enjoy what I enjoy. I’ve also had someone ask if I’d be sensitive if they met a very close friend of mine, I was totally fine and told them it’s entirely up to them and my friend and absolutely nothing to do with me! Competition is a word that doesn’t work for me as I just think we’re all unique and fun and how can anyone compare and how ridiculous that is. Hope that makes sense! Yes, of course it does. It's from you. I get it - being mindful of those your meeting, their boundaries and just showing a basic level of respect to potential sensitivities is important. I've been a bit erm worried about something coming up, well a friend and I have been.
I think people get worried about things affecting their current dynamics/relationships and how that manifests itself can vary wildly. Everyone is different but it can be easy to lose sight of that - you could feel as if someone is competition if they're getting more attention than you and yours from the person is fading.
That's a poor example but it's late! "Glad it made sense. If you’ve or you and your friend have been worried, I presume about someone else’s feelings or sensitivities - talk to them! If it’s no issue, all fine, if it is then at least you have the facts to deal with. Apologies if I’ve misinterpreted what you were saying though. It’s just what I would do if I was concerned and I knew the other person. I think people respect it. And yes dynamics are always difficult if you’re not in the loop with what’s happening in your own. | |||
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"No. I’ve not seen anyone as competition, I do have respect and boundaries around other’s sensitivity and try to be mindful with those I actually meet. I flirt with everyone openly but that doesn’t necessarily translate to anything irl. I don’t think anyone has seen me as competition, but I have been warned off certain people through unsolicited DMs and I have had people upset if I flirted with someone they liked tell me that. It’s tricky because the last thing I want to do is upset someone but I also want to enjoy what I enjoy. I’ve also had someone ask if I’d be sensitive if they met a very close friend of mine, I was totally fine and told them it’s entirely up to them and my friend and absolutely nothing to do with me! Competition is a word that doesn’t work for me as I just think we’re all unique and fun and how can anyone compare and how ridiculous that is. Hope that makes sense! Yes, of course it does. It's from you. I get it - being mindful of those your meeting, their boundaries and just showing a basic level of respect to potential sensitivities is important. I've been a bit erm worried about something coming up, well a friend and I have been.
I think people get worried about things affecting their current dynamics/relationships and how that manifests itself can vary wildly. Everyone is different but it can be easy to lose sight of that - you could feel as if someone is competition if they're getting more attention than you and yours from the person is fading.
That's a poor example but it's late!
Glad it made sense. If you’ve or you and your friend have been worried, I presume about someone else’s feelings or sensitivities - talk to them! If it’s no issue, all fine, if it is then at least you have the facts to deal with. Apologies if I’ve misinterpreted what you were saying though. It’s just what I would do if I was concerned and I knew the other person. I think people respect it.
And yes dynamics are always difficult if you’re not in the loop with what’s happening in your own.
"Oh we've worked out our plan of action, we're good but thank you. This was more general musings based on a conversation today. He said something rather bluntly when I was catching him up on my life and my face did this  and then I thought maybe there's some truth in that, I'd not considered it.
Being in the loop is important. I think that's why I really value clear communication and then slow fade like a dick when I don't get it because I feel uneasy and I don't have the energy for it. It's good that people know what's what. | |||
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"No. I’ve not seen anyone as competition, I do have respect and boundaries around other’s sensitivity and try to be mindful with those I actually meet. I flirt with everyone openly but that doesn’t necessarily translate to anything irl. I don’t think anyone has seen me as competition, but I have been warned off certain people through unsolicited DMs and I have had people upset if I flirted with someone they liked tell me that. It’s tricky because the last thing I want to do is upset someone but I also want to enjoy what I enjoy. I’ve also had someone ask if I’d be sensitive if they met a very close friend of mine, I was totally fine and told them it’s entirely up to them and my friend and absolutely nothing to do with me! Competition is a word that doesn’t work for me as I just think we’re all unique and fun and how can anyone compare and how ridiculous that is. Hope that makes sense! Yes, of course it does. It's from you. I get it - being mindful of those your meeting, their boundaries and just showing a basic level of respect to potential sensitivities is important. I've been a bit erm worried about something coming up, well a friend and I have been.
I think people get worried about things affecting their current dynamics/relationships and how that manifests itself can vary wildly. Everyone is different but it can be easy to lose sight of that - you could feel as if someone is competition if they're getting more attention than you and yours from the person is fading.
That's a poor example but it's late!
Glad it made sense. If you’ve or you and your friend have been worried, I presume about someone else’s feelings or sensitivities - talk to them! If it’s no issue, all fine, if it is then at least you have the facts to deal with. Apologies if I’ve misinterpreted what you were saying though. It’s just what I would do if I was concerned and I knew the other person. I think people respect it.
And yes dynamics are always difficult if you’re not in the loop with what’s happening in your own.
Oh we've worked out our plan of action, we're good but thank you. This was more general musings based on a conversation today. He said something rather bluntly when I was catching him up on my life and my face did this and then I thought maybe there's some truth in that, I'd not considered it.
Being in the loop is important. I think that's why I really value clear communication and then slow fade like a dick when I don't get it because I feel uneasy and I don't have the energy for it. It's good that people know what's what." all good, sorry misinterpreted! Yeah it’s hard isn’t it - all the feelings, all the comms, not everyone wanting the same level of clarity or urgency of info, and people operating all on different vibrations with the best of intents but potentially setting off free radical chain reactions of misunderstanding! It’s kinda why I’m okay that I wear my heart on my sleeve - I have all the feelings always, so please preset accordingly! Despite the rationality is I’d never have an issue, it’s the feeling of being used or blindsided that would unnerve me, not the actuality.
I’m rambling! | |||
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Seriously though, if he was entertaining someone who saw me as a threat that had to be eliminated, I'd wash my hands, and vagina, of him.
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"I'm too lazy to be competitive. I remember, years back, a chap on here had women clamouring over him. There was quite a to do on the forums and some rather unsavoury pms sent. I have respect for myself, for a start, and can't be arsed to vie for anyone's attention. I tend to go off men when they become too popular anyway. Now, get the Trivial Pursuit out and I turn into a Chaser "I think I might remember the same man. I think I might know him, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I can't be arsed to vie for attention. If you don't want to give it to me or I have to compete, I'll happily go and meet someone else where it doesn't feel like it's an insurmountable task to get attention.
If you're not competitive during Trivial Pursuit are you really living? | |||
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"I'm too lazy to be competitive. I remember, years back, a chap on here had women clamouring over him. There was quite a to do on the forums and some rather unsavoury pms sent. I have respect for myself, for a start, and can't be arsed to vie for anyone's attention. I tend to go off men when they become too popular anyway. Now, get the Trivial Pursuit out and I turn into a Chaser
I think I might remember the same man.
I think I might know him, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I can't be arsed to vie for attention. If you don't want to give it to me or I have to compete, I'll happily go and meet someone else where it doesn't feel like it's an insurmountable task to get attention.
If you're not competitive during Trivial Pursuit are you really living? "You were probably around at the time. It was a sad, sorry state of affairs. I like my men friends to have other partners who know about me and aren't possessive. I think my long term partner would long anyone off who tried to make our sex life a competition. I'd probably be crap at TP now, if the questions have been updated | |||
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"I had a wonderful frenemy/rival who I always enjoyed posting with/against. I really miss her in the forums." I miss her too  | |||
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"I had a wonderful frenemy/rival who I always enjoyed posting with/against. I really miss her in the forums. I miss her too "We all do | |||
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"I had a wonderful frenemy/rival who I always enjoyed posting with/against. I really miss her in the forums. I miss her too
We all do "Agreed | |||
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"I have massive feelings of inadequacy on here. Not competive as such... I just don't like feeling second best. So maybe I am competitive after all" Great tan lines! | |||
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"Can't be arsed with any of those playground antics! The only person I'm in competition with is myself." This. I tend to think how I can raise my game as I don’t look at other guys profiles, so it’s for me to do better as there’s always gonna be someone younger, someone taller etc etc. I can’t worry about what I can’t control. | |||
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"Being in the loop is important. I think that's why I really value clear communication and then slow fade like a dick when I don't get it because I feel uneasy and I don't have the energy for it. It's good that people know what's what. all good, sorry misinterpreted! Yeah it’s hard isn’t it - all the feelings, all the comms, not everyone wanting the same level of clarity or urgency of info, and people operating all on different vibrations with the best of intents but potentially setting off free radical chain reactions of misunderstanding! It’s kinda why I’m okay that I wear my heart on my sleeve - I have all the feelings always, so please preset accordingly! Despite the rationality is I’d never have an issue, it’s the feeling of being used or blindsided that would unnerve me, not the actuality.
I’m rambling! "You're not rambling in the slightest. I've missed your longer more "thinky" posts, the similarities I read between us, your ability to try and think of the other as well. It's something I try and do and it's quite important to me. In terms of this thread topic, it means trying to show kindness and understand where the other person is coming from, why those feelings come about. You know me, I'm very much a heart on my sleeve person as well. That's not a weakness. The misunderstandings that can occur through communication/different ways of approaching things are rife and potentially quite hurtful. I understand completely - the actuality isn't the issue, it's the feeling of it. That makes sense. I think that's what can create issues. The feeling of something rather than it being the case. Anyway, this thread has been quite interesting and I've enjoyed the myriad of responses to it. | |||
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"I have massive feelings of inadequacy on here. Not competive as such... I just don't like feeling second best. So maybe I am competitive after all" I'm not sure that's being competitive. Perhaps with yourself. I don't think anyone wants to feel like they're second best. An option. Feeling like an active choice is important to a lot of people on here. Feeling inadequate is more a reflection of you, if it's not weaponised? It's not competition. | |||
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"Have you ever seen someone on Fab as competition? Do you ever feel threatened by another person? Or has someone ever treated you like you're competition? " No, no and no. If they have its gone over my head. | |||
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"I'm too lazy to be competitive. I remember, years back, a chap on here had women clamouring over him. There was quite a to do on the forums and some rather unsavoury pms sent. I have respect for myself, for a start, and can't be arsed to vie for anyone's attention. I tend to go off men when they become too popular anyway. Now, get the Trivial Pursuit out and I turn into a Chaser "This explains why we haven’t had sex  | |||
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