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Fun with the Newbies

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By *kid1 OP   Man
over a year ago

erith

You've all heard this before a thousand times. Why is it soo hard to meet people on this site when you are new. Its like a closed shop area. You need verification to meet people. No one will meet you without it. You post an offer to go to eureka as a couple to the females out there in the same circumstance......no replies. Are you all so inundated?.Spent a week talking to lovely lady to be blown not(excuse the pun) at the last minute. In answers, please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers. Everyone's reasons have a reason. If you'll listen. RANT OVER. oh, I feel purged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've all heard this before a thousand times. Why is it soo hard to meet people on this site when you are new. Its like a closed shop area. You need verification to meet people. No one will meet you without it. You post an offer to go to eureka as a couple to the females out there in the same circumstance......no replies. Are you all so inundated?.Spent a week talking to lovely lady to be blown not(excuse the pun) at the last minute. In answers, please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers. Everyone's reasons have a reason. If you'll listen. RANT OVER. oh, I feel purged. "

The ratio of men to women doesn't help us out either mate! The amount of messages the ladies receive on a daily basis must be astonishing! All you can do is try and be original and don't go in expecting anything. Then cross your fingers and hope they actually read your message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's thursday, so you're entitled to rant

There are plenty if avenues to get yourself verified and meet people.

Perhaps the easiest is to attend a social gathering, look in the meets section....

Or join in the fun on the forums, or the chat rooms..

Be patient, it can take some time

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Purging can make you feel better but it's usually better to take an anti-emetic if you think you are going to throw up in public.

I haven't looked at your profile but going on your OP

1. Married will cut your chances.

2. Most women get asked to be an entry to a club at some point - it's not flattering.

3. Get out there to clubs on your own and go to socials.

4. Lighten up, it's supposed to be fun.

Good luck.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think you need a reality check to help you manage your expectations.

You're on a site overrun with fit, single men that can accommodate. Why would a woman team up to go clubbing with you when she can get into a club for a fiver.

You've been here two weeks, did you think women would be throwing themselves at you because (from what I can see) you're fit as fuck?!!

I refer you to the glut of single, fit as fuck men who accommodate on site.

You have stiff competition!

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By *kid1 OP   Man
over a year ago

erith


"Purging can make you feel better but it's usually better to take an anti-emetic if you think you are going to throw up in public.

I haven't looked at your profile but going on your OP

1. Married will cut your chances.

2. Most women get asked to be an entry to a club at some point - it's not flattering.

3. Get out there to clubs on your own and go to socials.

4. Lighten up, it's supposed to be fun.

Good luck."
d

Doesn't a single male at a club stand out like a spare (putting it nicely) breast at a wedding?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the women on here get 100 messages a day it's a 100-1 shot you get a meet.

So far I've sent 99 messages. Now who will be the next lucky lady to get my 100th message. haha.

Its worth a try, lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Purging can make you feel better but it's usually better to take an anti-emetic if you think you are going to throw up in public.

I haven't looked at your profile but going on your OP

1. Married will cut your chances.

2. Most women get asked to be an entry to a club at some point - it's not flattering.

3. Get out there to clubs on your own and go to socials.

4. Lighten up, it's supposed to be fun.

Good luck.d

Doesn't a single male at a club stand out like a spare (putting it nicely) breast at a wedding?"

Not on single men night. There will be competition but I know I have verified men I have met at clubs and felt able to recommend to others.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I was chatting with a good looking couple earlier this evening, apparently they haven't scored off a swingers site in 18 months.

We haven't played with anyone new since last September.

What sort of hit rate where you expecting after just two weeks? Sorry but you are just one of some 200,000 other guys looking for a shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is you do come across as "married want your cake and eat it". Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've all heard this before a thousand times. Why is it soo hard to meet people on this site when you are new. Its like a closed shop area. You need verification to meet people. No one will meet you without it. You post an offer to go to eureka as a couple to the females out there in the same circumstance......no replies. Are you all so inundated?.Spent a week talking to lovely lady to be blown not(excuse the pun) at the last minute. In answers, please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers. Everyone's reasons have a reason. If you'll listen. RANT OVER. oh, I feel purged. "

Its like riding a bike (no pun) once you have the hang of it it's easier. The verified myth is simply that ok it can help but getting photo and meet verified slightly.

It doesn't happen all at once, if you are new then there is always apprehension till your face is known. Clubs are great but try and get to an organised event as you will meet people socially and if others ask they will say ..yeh he is ok met him at x,y,z.

A relaxed attitude and not expecting too much does make it easier though for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.... also, banter and a good sense of humour, especially in the forums, works so much more to your advantage than ranting and whinging.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


".... also, banter and a good sense of humour, especially in the forums, works so much more to your advantage than ranting and whinging."

oh shit!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers. "

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op has no photos to tempt anyone and fails to realise that most women on here get 50 messages A DAY!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation"

An interpretation I share!

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation"

Touché

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By *kid1 OP   Man
over a year ago

erith


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

Touché "
Ahhh ! Only a matter of time before the wolves start to circle!!!

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By *outhernchappieMan
over a year ago

brighton

Just keep fishing

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

Touché Ahhh ! Only a matter of time before the wolves start to circle!!!"

Nothing wolfish there. Have a look at the other threads where new men purge their frustration.

Yes, there is a double standard - married women are likely to be more successful than married men but it is merely market forces.

Set out a good stall and be clear about your proposition. If it's a good product there will be a buyer.

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By *kid1 OP   Man
over a year ago

erith


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

Touché "
After careful consideration after reading your comments, I have come up with a game plan!.

1: Divorce the wife

2:Live in bed sit (if I can afford one)

3:See my children alternate Sundays

4:Watch my wife move in the boyfriend she thinks I don't know about.

Yep. That will do it!!!. :-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

Touché After careful consideration after reading your comments, I have come up with a game plan!.

1: Divorce the wife

2:Live in bed sit (if I can afford one)

3:See my children alternate Sundays

4:Watch my wife move in the boyfriend she thinks I don't know about.

Yep. That will do it!!!. :- "

Get them to join the site and then join them ....just a suggestion

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By *kid1 OP   Man
over a year ago

erith


" please don't give "married, want your cake and eat it" answers.

Why not ?

There may be other reasons, but I would suggest that that alone will exclude you from meeting many people.

And that is before we even get on to your lack of patience, a lack of comprehension of how the site works, your perceptions and expectations being skewed and, dare i say it, i suspect a pretty bad attitude unless things are going 100% your way

That of course is only my interpretation

Touché After careful consideration after reading your comments, I have come up with a game plan!.

1: Divorce the wife

2:Live in bed sit (if I can afford one)

3:See my children alternate Sundays

4:Watch my wife move in the boyfriend she thinks I don't know about.

Yep. That will do it!!!. :-

Get them to join the site and then join them ....just a suggestion "
Already asked her about that minus the boyfriend. Said I should have asked 10 years ago. Prefers cooking now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've nothing against newbies! In fact have met several.

But there's certain factors that can prove tricky! (Worse of course for new single guys!)

1. New single fems/coupled tend to get bombarded with messages the second they sign up - which often makes the sender appear 'predatory' or desperate, rather than welcoming!

2. It's obvious that the majority of what are classed as fake profiles (don't think I need to define that!) will tend to be single fem/couples ones - still yet to hear of someone pretending to be a single guy!! Falling foul of these and getting duped will only result in cynicism and negative views towards newbies until they're proven genuine by a 'meet in person' veri - webcams means little to most.

3. Newbies by definition will not have a history of veri's and often will not have finely tuned their profile text and pics to make the most of their profiles. For single guys in particular this is the biggest obstacle.

4. Sending bulk cut and paste scattergun messages in the hope of getting a meet soon after joining often seems a good plan (again - single guys are the most guilty of this!) to maximise interest and results. It's not. Trust me.

5. Honesty. Being open about sexuality/marital status/interests/kinks often worries newbies so they pretend to be something they're not to hedge their bets. Detail and accurate info will always win out over vagueness and fudging facts.

6. Newbies won't necessarily know how to use the sites tools - filters, search options, the forums, chat rooms etc - and when they do venture into chat/forums may not realise the image they are portraying. Not everyone enjoys cock/gash cams and negativity in the forums is never attractive or likely to arouse sympathy or interest.

7. Expectancy. Have none and you won't be disappointed. Have lots - and prepare yourself for a rough ride! (And not in a good way!!)

8. Exaggeration. No-one likes or believes excessive claims of size or performance. Be yourself and sell your good points rather than looking for an ego boost or bragging about things that may bite you in the arse!

9. Evolve. No-one is ever the same after time on site as they were when they first joined. Learn from others and what you see working for similar folk to you.

10. If life on site is pissing you off or not living up to expectations (see earlier point!) then hide your profile and take a break - maybe explore other avenues - or delete and leave! Your choice to be here - your choice as to whether to stay!!

All of course just my views (and memories!) of being a newbie - not saying I'm right - but I'm still here after several years and happy as one of those pig things in the smelly stuff!

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

when we first joined fab, we did it with the attitude of "see what happens", we had no expectations whatsoever, and as a result we have met a good few very nice folk, havent met any fakes (yet),and our first verification came from someone in the chat rooms and it took us over a week to realise it had been left, mostly because we didnt realise what it was lol,but my point is, we have for the most part enjoyed our time on fab and i believe that is because we dont go on expecting to meet someone, if we do, well that is the icing on our cake

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

At least you're convenient for shopping at Blue Water.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

[Removed by poster at 15/03/13 16:00:54]

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