FabSwingers.com forum: (Just for fun) Worst opening message to send

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

Hi. I'm wearing my hedgehog outfit and wondered if you want to come over and stroke my prickles? I'm free now?

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By *orny PTMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.

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By *ecrets4everCouple
43 weeks ago

I don’t like your choice of PJs tonight.

Please slip them off so I have a better view.

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By *ecrets4everCouple
43 weeks ago

Don’t worry about the thing I had with your Dad.

It’s all over now

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere else

It puts the lotion in the basket.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now."

How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Don’t worry about the thing I had with your Dad.

It’s all over now

....So you're up for stroking my prickles now then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket."

Woosh over my head.

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By *ecrets4everCouple
43 weeks ago

Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth”

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By *aizyWoman
43 weeks ago

west midlands

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

Woosh over my head.

Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!

(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

Woosh over my head.

Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!

(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)

Time for a re-watch next movie night. Obviously with chianti and fava beans to snack on.

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By *elix SightedMan
43 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Your bins are really boring! Anyway, I’ve got the knickers I stole from your washing line on my head and my cock is currently in your letterbox. Will you please pop the hoover on the old chap while my dog licks my bumhole?

Ps sorry about the bird table.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Has the rash cleared up?

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By *naswingdressWoman
43 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Apparently your dad will let me out of the closet if I tell him your mum's middle name and why I have her knickers. Can you help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Your bins are really boring! Anyway, I’ve got the knickers I stole from your washing line on my head and my cock is currently in your letterbox. Will you please pop the hoover on the old chap while my dog licks my bumhole?

Ps sorry about the bird table."

And this didn't work out for you! What is wrong with this place!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Apparently your dad will let me out of the closet if I tell him your mum's middle name and why I have her knickers. Can you help?"

She doesn't have a middle name....You're going to be in there a while I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Has the rash cleared up?"

No, but it doesn't matter I only practice safe sex.

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By *agic johnsonMan
43 weeks ago

morden

Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in a overcoat ?

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By *cttMan
43 weeks ago

hatfield & Cannock

"Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth” "

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Ready to be mounted? (Real message)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in a overcoat ? "

No he took it off first. That's why I didn't enjoy it!

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
43 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Let me tongue punch your fart box

Actually had that as a first message years ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Ready to be mounted? (Real message)"

No "YeeHaa!" in the message? No way then!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Let me tongue punch your fart box

Actually had that as a first message years ago "

I was naive to fab at that time. I apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Ready to be mounted? (Real message)

No "YeeHaa!" in the message? No way then!

He missed a trick

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
43 weeks ago

Bradford

I wasn't really looking for a fuck

But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth”

Indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"I wasn't really looking for a fuck

But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you ."

You free Now?

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
43 weeks ago

Norwichish

Worst one received….

“When are you going to come over and feel my belt?”

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
43 weeks ago

Bradford

"I wasn't really looking for a fuck

But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .

You free Now? "

Never been into men it was a joke

Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"I wasn't really looking for a fuck

But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .

You free Now?

Never been into men it was a joke

Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love ."

You mean in love?.... Congrats mate, hope it works out.

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By *ubbie300Couple
43 weeks ago

Bawtry

"It puts the lotion in the basket."

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
43 weeks ago

Bradford

"I wasn't really looking for a fuck

But after seeing your profile I'd fuck you .

You free Now?

Never been into men it was a joke

Some fantastic women here and I'd turn them all down because I'm on love .

You mean in love?.... Congrats mate, hope it works out.

Thanks yep in . fat finger syndrome sorry .

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
43 weeks ago

kent

"It puts the lotion in the basket."

Woah this one is dark!!

Or else it gets the hose again

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
43 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I can't get hold of your sister tonight, but you'll do I suppose".

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By *orny PTMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.

How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?

Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!

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By *ames-77Man
43 weeks ago

milton keynes

Fuck my girlfriend (from a single male profile

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By *olfandtazCouple
43 weeks ago

Bristol

"I wanna fk u hrd"

I'm pretty sure there are some letters missing

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By *orny PTMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth”

Indeed.

Indeed? Should that say Kinked in, instead?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.

How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?

Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!"

Ah, so it was choclates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
43 weeks ago

kent

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

Woosh over my head.

Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!

(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)

We so need to go to the cinema

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth”

Indeed.

Indeed? Should that say Kinked in, instead?"

No. Just agreeing someone recieving such a message is

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By *aizyWoman
43 weeks ago

west midlands

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

Woosh over my head.

Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!

(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)

We so need to go to the cinema

Xx"

We do!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

Woosh over my head.

Funnily enough thats exactly what happens to the lotion in the basket!

(Its the Silence of the Lambs OP)

We so need to go to the cinema

We do!!

Are we all going together in costume?

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By *orny PTMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Actual fab message from yesterday;

“Let me shit in your mouth”

Indeed.

Indeed? Should that say Kinked in, instead?

No. Just agreeing someone recieving such a message is

I know, it was purely a play on words at lousy agencies expense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

You're profile said you're looking for a man that's flexible. I used to be a gymnast if that's any use?

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By *batMan
43 weeks ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"You look really hot in your profile pictures Mum."

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

""You look really hot in your profile pictures Mum."

Gbat "

Admin.... Admin!?

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
43 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Now then now then let Jimmy fix it for you.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Now then now then let Jimmy fix it for you.....

Mr "

Thank god he can't anymore!!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
43 weeks ago

Bradford

Delete where aplicable

If you were thinner younger taller a different colour or sex. I could right fancy you

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"It puts the lotion in the basket."

Trying desperately not to see the fingernails stuck in the wall

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By *ure_heatMan
43 weeks ago

Solihull

"hey" - especially when the profile has no detail, no pics - nothing to go on

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.

How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?

Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!

Ah, so it was choclates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder.

If the seagulls took everything, it was a few bags of cold chips

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By *orny PTMan
43 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Have you got a ladder? As I'm stuck on your roof. right now.

How long have you been up there, are you still wearing your Santa costume and what presents have you got for me?

Too bloody long and all that's left is my presence, the seagulls took all those gifts!

Ah, so it was chocolates. Yeah, I'll see if I can find a ladder.

If the seagulls took everything, it was a few bags of cold chips

Keehar and his friends didn't take the hint, when I told them to "Piss off", as I was flaying my arms at them, whilst hanging on to the TV ariel.

Chocolate chip shortbreads an'all.

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By *ty31Man
43 weeks ago

NW London

Hi.. fancy a social? I can't stay out late unfortunately, I'm on the sex offenders register.

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By *iss DevilWoman
43 weeks ago

Bedford

Spank me with your paddle hairbrush until my bottom is all covered in blisters and then lock me up in a dog's crate near your bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I want to roger you silly, you minxy cougar

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By *oxy RedWoman
43 weeks ago

Glasgow

After politely knocking back...

"Aww that's a shame, I would ruin you"

Would you, aye?

lol x

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
43 weeks ago

St Leonards

"Will you rim me whilst I fart "Flight of the Bumblebees"?

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Oi ignoranious cunt ive sent thousands of messages what the fuck are saying.. Meet... Yes.. After all it is a bunk up site.. No.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Can I come round tonight be best sex ever.. Real sent messages from fab guys

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

No wonder you like bondage living in such a high crime area

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Hello

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By *ambi4uMan
42 weeks ago

Saint Helens

From a blank straight male profile...

"Do you want to come over and fuck me?"

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By *undance_KidMan
42 weeks ago

London

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

I’ve seen that film many times and I still don’t get this one! Which part of Silence of the Lambs is this ???

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By *undance_KidMan
42 weeks ago

London

"It puts the lotion in the basket.

I’ve seen that film many times and I still don’t get this one! Which part of Silence of the Lambs is this ???

Ok just googled and watched on YouTube. F@ck !!!!

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