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Would you prefer…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
43 weeks ago

Would you prefer to know what people really think of you or are you happy with a sugar coated version?

Human nature means that most of us want to be “liked” in some form, if someone has a negative perception of you does that bother you especially if it’s, in your opinion, unfounded.

Do we spend too much time worrying what other people think of us, this brings me to groups within groups.

I ran for many year kik chat rooms and was never surprised that friendship groups formed within them where they then formed their own group. I will not call it a clique. It’s a friendship group.

That said I was always surprised how much of that was spent talking badly of others in the main group and plotting to alienate them etc.

For me I don’t have the time or energy to worry how I am perceived. 99.9% of us (no actual test was carried out to get to this number) will ever meet, I try and remove myself from people who love to talk of others in a negative way.

Also if someone has something to say about me I am more than happy to have an actual discussion about it rather than behind my back

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere else

I’m bowing and kowtowing to the Important people all day and all night. Can’t you tell?

And I have no time for anyone the pack doesn’t seem to like. That should also be obvious.

I can’t think for myself. I need help with my opinions.

FRED?!?

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
43 weeks ago

London or Bedford

Let’s just say - Ignorance is bliss

I was a happier & more optimistic person before the social media age revealed how people really thought.

Admit it - You see who people really are when you remove consequences for their actions

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By *eliWoman
43 weeks ago

.

Honestly OP, everyone cares to some degree about how they're perceived. People return with different usernames because they don't want to be linked to who they were before. They take photos, upload certain ones, change their bio so they hopefully attract the right sort of person.

Let's do away with the whole bollocks of people not caring how they're perceived/not wanting attention malarkey.

Groups within groups are natural. People meet, they bond better with some people than others. The amount of time I've spent discussing others from Fab the past two weeks? Less than two minutes - I asked one person for advice about something, one person asked why that song.

I am, however, far closer to some people from Fab than others. I won't apologise for it. I do a far better job of inclusivity than most on here, especially those who go on about it.

I know that there are people who have discussed me negatively before. They will carry on doing so. I've heard it. It used to quite affect me and now I think fuck it. I don't need to give energy to it. I've had such obvious lies said about me to others, only for the liar to get in touch and want to apologise and be friends?

It makes no sense. But... I don't need to give more energy to it than posting about it on this thread.

I don't like sugarcoating, I'd rather people were honest but I get why it happens.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
43 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Of course it’s nice to be liked. I very much care about what the people I care about think of me but anyone else, no, I really don’t.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
43 weeks ago

To clarify I don’t solely mean this about here.

It could be within the work place, with family, it can be within social media in general

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By *ellinever70Woman
43 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I don't think there's a need for people to explicitly tell others exactly what they think of them.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere else

Yeah you do

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By *sWyldWoman
43 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Someone gave me some great advice recently.

Opinions are only valid if you ask for them and they come from people you genuinely care about.

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By *aith SkynbyrdWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere else


"Someone gave me some great advice recently.

Opinions are only valid if you ask for them and they come from people you genuinely care about.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Don't care either way

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
43 weeks ago

I was told

Opinions are like arseholes, most people have them

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By *antanaMan
43 weeks ago

The Upside Down

If someone doesn't like me it's not my problem, it's theirs.

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By *eliWoman
43 weeks ago

.


"Yeah you do "

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By *ealitybitesMan
43 weeks ago

Belfast

In general I'm only concerned about the opinions of those who actually know me.

I've never wanted to be in with the in crowd and even from a young age didn't give into peer pressure.

Online it's pretty similar.

I'm content if the odd person on fab likes what I have to say or thinks I'm talking sense.

It should be quite obvious by now that much of what I say goes against the grain but never in a nasty or malicious way.

I prefer to think of it as pointing out the blindingly obvious.

Telling the Emperor he is naked while so many others are admiring his new clothes.

I haven't been in any fab related group chats for 4 years but even when I was I avoided the popularity contests and left groups rather than feeling the need to measure my dick.

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By *onameyet2Man
43 weeks ago

chorley

WTF is this all about?

No one on social media “knows” you, so their opinion is irrelevant.

Even people who really know you will have different opinions so best to shut the fuck up unless you have something nice/positive to say.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
43 weeks ago


"WTF is this all about?

No one on social media “knows” you, so their opinion is irrelevant.

Even people who really know you will have different opinions so best to shut the fuck up unless you have something nice/positive to say. "

Is it though?

If someone really knows me then I want to hear their opinion. As they know me I value their opinion on certain things and that may not always be nice or positive.

They have the ability to say “are you sure” or “actually you’re being a bit of a dick and are wrong”

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By *erdyCurvyInkedPervyWoman
43 weeks ago

West Yorkshire

It's none of my business what other people think of me.

It's taken me a while to learn that, but it's very liberating.

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By *onameyet2Man
43 weeks ago

chorley


"WTF is this all about?

No one on social media “knows” you, so their opinion is irrelevant.

Even people who really know you will have different opinions so best to shut the fuck up unless you have something nice/positive to say.

Is it though?

If someone really knows me then I want to hear their opinion. As they know me I value their opinion on certain things and that may not always be nice or positive.

They have the ability to say “are you sure” or “actually you’re being a bit of a dick and are wrong”

You are correct, I was ranting at people outside of immediate family and friends, but didn’t think it through as usual (embarrassed emoji)

"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
43 weeks ago

ashford

Spose we all like to b liked! But if I'm not then don't loose any sleep over it! I've been in a few kik groups over the years but never stay long with the bitching going on in them! The men are usually OK in them tbf! Women not so much so x

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By *ris GrayMan
43 weeks ago

Dorchester

Oooooo neither please

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By *parkle1974Woman
43 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm not Willy Wonka, I don't sugarcoat shit.

I couldn't care less what some randoms who have never met me or know me (be it online or in RL) think, their opinion is irrelevant..just like them.

The only opinions that concern me are those of family and close friends x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

I only want to know what the people I love think of me. I don't want to know what anyone else's opinion of me is.

That said I try not to deliberately behave like an arse

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Yes of course I worry at times what people think. But usually the people I worry about don't actually know me, so it's daft.

I think people on Fab forums don't sugar coat anything unless they're trying to get in bed with you. (And then it's pretty easy to spot). I think strangers can sometimes nail things about me that a friend might not say because they don't want to upset me. I'm old enough to take criticism on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

You get cliques everywhere, usually smash minded with less intellect that they gravitate to each other and feel safer in numbers against the obviously superior or smarter others. It's liked there's 2 types of people in the world, followers and leaders. Cliques are full of followers, they'll never strike out on they're own or have independent mind. Leaders have that, they don't form cliques because they don't have to. Get this everywhere in life. It's annoying but just let them have their fun and go about your own business.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
43 weeks ago

Nottingham

I definitely prefer to know what people really think of me. Just makes life easier for everyone involved.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
43 weeks ago

Reading

I like kind honesty.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
43 weeks ago

Leeds

There are people that I do care what their opinion of me is, a few but still I'd care and want to know because I care about these people.

Strangers however no I don't, especially on places like this, people have their own preconceived ideas of what you are like based on a profile and photos I am probably not what half expect me to be.

On the forums it's slightly different but again I don't really care but we do get to see a little more personality here, there's a few lovely people that I think like me but the majority don't know me and their opinions on me I don't care about, people can judge you as a person on a single comment, on a single photo and that opinion of me I don't care about.

Mrs

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