FabSwingers.com forum: If you're unhappy...

By *eli OP Woman
43 weeks ago

with something, do you try to change it? Are you more likely to vent and complain whilst not doing anything?

Are you good at taking accountability for something?

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By *arla SwingerWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere

Depends what it is, and if it's something out of my control

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By *layfullsamMan
43 weeks ago

Solihull

Change nothing, nothing changes so I’m a great believer in changing what’s bringing grief into my life

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

If you're unhappy you have to make changes if it's possible to, or you'll just live your life being unhappy, and what's the point in that.

People need to take control of their own lives.

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By *sWyldWoman
43 weeks ago

Edinburgh

It's odd, I do make changes in all aspects of my life in the quest to be happier. I've moved countries, I've left relationships, I've taken chances and I have thought nothing of doing things others would be afraid to. Yet, the one aspect of my life that makes me most unhappy (my body) I struggle with. I take the steps, I start the journey but often self sabotage. It's so hard and frustrating because if I put my mind to anything else, I do it!

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By *ermite12ukMan
43 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

I will put up with it for so long. Then think sod it and then dissapear.

I don't vent, but I tell the person what's bugging me. If after that, they continue....more fool them.

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By *eli OP Woman
43 weeks ago

"Depends what it is, and if it's something out of my control "

Yes, that's a fair point; it's rather tricky to change something out of your control.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

why, what have you done Meli? Haha.

Is this two questions? If something makes me unhappy, I try to get away from it rather than take it on to change it, I haven’t got the energy or motivation right now. I’m still sulking over something.

… but I’m also generalising here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

If I can't change it I try to change my attitude to it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
43 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

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By *eli OP Woman
43 weeks ago

"If you're unhappy you have to make changes if it's possible to, or you'll just live your life being unhappy, and what's the point in that.

People need to take control of their own lives."

Definitely. Well, as much as possible. I was thinking about it in general terms and in Fab. Our experiences. On Fab especially it seems easier to lay fault at the feet of others but why is that? Why don't we try and change to improve our own narrative?

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By *cnugatugMan
43 weeks ago

Chatham

I actually take action when I'm feeling low I don't wollow in it I actively change and improve my situation probably why I've never really felt absolutely low

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ??

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
43 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ?? "

No such thing.

Some things are for changing. Some things are for accepting. Some things are for adjusting my own interpretation of. Some things are for walking away from

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
43 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ??

No such thing.

Some things are for changing. Some things are for accepting. Some things are for adjusting my own interpretation of. Some things are for walking away from

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ??

No such thing.

Some things are for changing. Some things are for accepting. Some things are for adjusting my own interpretation of. Some things are for walking away from

It’s tough to accept done things aren’t they.

Someone told me something profound once that I always deal with. I can’t change people to think the way I do. The way they do things that upset me is because they are not me. It’s not them, they’re doing things their way, we are just not the same. I now accept that.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

... and you know it, clap your hands!

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
43 weeks ago

St Leonards

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ??

No such thing.

Some things are for changing. Some things are for accepting. Some things are for adjusting my own interpretation of. Some things are for walking away from

I agree"

And so do I, and I'm not adding 700 more words to it. Prey's comment touches them all very, very well.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
43 weeks ago

Reading

it depends whether I believe it temporary or not. I will suffer if I think it will pass. but otherwise I will take action.i have quit bad jobs and changed teams to be away from horrible managers.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
43 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"with something, do you try to change it? Are you more likely to vent and complain whilst not doing anything?

Are you good at taking accountability for something?

Yes. I always do. As life is too short to be unhappy

And also yes. If I fuck up… as we all do sometimes I apologise properly and try to put it right

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
43 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm not good with change so it's frustrating when I'm unhappy with something it can take a lot for me to change it.

Accountability I'm good with I don't know everything and I'm always learning I'm happy to hold my hands up if I'm wrong or have done something wrong.

But on the change front that is something I do need to work on.

Mrs

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By *ellinever70Woman
43 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"If I can't change it I try to change my attitude to it. "

Yes, this for me too

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
43 weeks ago

In the clouds

Easier said than done if you have mental health problems.

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By *ellinever70Woman
43 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"If you're unhappy you have to make changes if it's possible to, or you'll just live your life being unhappy, and what's the point in that.

People need to take control of their own lives.

Because on fab the attitude of it's not me, it's them, prevails

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By *ellhungvweMan
43 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"Depends what it is that's making me unhappy

The bacon is too crispy. ??

No such thing.

Some things are for changing. Some things are for accepting. Some things are for adjusting my own interpretation of. Some things are for walking away from

I like that.

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By *emorefridaCouple
43 weeks ago

La la land

Depends a lot on what it is.

If it's something minor I'll try and communicate how I'm feeling and see if we can resolve it together. If that's not possible I'll avoid the situation that makes me unhappy.

If it's something big then I may just avoid the situation completely, because some people aren't capable of talking without it becoming a question of blame.

I tend to believe nobody is completely right nor wrong, it's somewhere in the middle. Which to me means I'm the issue to a certain extent. It just takes a bit to think how much so I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Its hard to get your head around it, but happiness is a choice... But it's not always as simple or easy as just doing something different

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

As many have already said it depends what it is. I do vent, but that's how I process things. Talking through events and issues helps untangle the thoughts and leads to a solution. If I have the power to change it, I take steps towards to make that happen. If it's beyond my control I try to decide to be OK with it and consciously cease to waste energy being bitter about it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
43 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I will put up with it for so long. Then think sod it and then dissapear.

I don't vent, but I tell the person what's bugging me. If after that, they continue....more fool them."

Why more fool them ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
43 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"with something, do you try to change it? Are you more likely to vent and complain whilst not doing anything?

Are you good at taking accountability for something?

I analyse how much it means to me or not.

If not. I let it go.

If yes then I think of how to change it and set that into action.

If it is something I cannot change I simply change my reaction to it as that is all I can do... be in charge of my own reactions.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"with something, do you try to change it? Are you more likely to vent and complain whilst not doing anything?

Are you good at taking accountability for something?

I analyse how much it means to me or not.

If not. I let it go.

If yes then I think of how to change it and set that into action.

If it is something I cannot change I simply change my reaction to it as that is all I can do... be in charge of my own reactions. "

I love this Granny.. I sing the terrible Disney song when I need to let it go

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

When I’m sad I just cheer up.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"with something, do you try to change it? Are you more likely to vent and complain whilst not doing anything?

Are you good at taking accountability for something?

I analyse how much it means to me or not.

If not. I let it go.

If yes then I think of how to change it and set that into action.

If it is something I cannot change I simply change my reaction to it as that is all I can do... be in charge of my own reactions.

I love this Granny.. I sing the fantastic Disney song when I need to let it go

FIFY

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By *adyBugsWoman
43 weeks ago

cognito

No, no Dear Meli, I dislike change and will suffer forever with something that makes me unhappy just to avoid changing the status quo.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

I like to think I try to change it if it's possible but if it isn't, I'll try to find something new to take my interest in the meantime like a new hobby, going out with friends etc. so the crap becomes a little more bearable.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

To be honest, I don't really ever get annoyed or frustrated with things that are within my control to do something about, as I've learnt a lot through self introspection and lifestyle exploration. There are things outside of my control that can frustrate me at moments though.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Definitely need to change it if I can, I won't be unhappy, I'll probably have a whinge about it in the process, but 100% change.

Miss S x

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By *oney HoneyWoman
43 weeks ago

York

If unhappy with something / someone I walk away. No point trying to change it.

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By *hitney NeilWoman
43 weeks ago

Hiding in a marmite jar near you.

I rapidly throw my toys out my pram

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By *stellaWoman
43 weeks ago

London

Sulk and wallow and garner pity.

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By *agic johnsonMan
43 weeks ago

morden

Always go to change it , I changed myself massively last year

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By *VineMan
43 weeks ago

The right place

While I’m an agnostic, I follow the principles of the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference

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